Chapter Forty-Four

Anna felt so incredibly heavy as she began to come to, her eyes only managing to remain open for a brief second. She caught a flash of the hotel ceiling, her head swimming with a thousand thoughts. She allowed herself to take everything slowly, her hands flexing a little as she finally managed to open her eyes fully. She squinted into the rising sunshine pooling in through a gap in the curtain.

Hans was there, staring out of the window. She could see he was fighting the urge to sleep, his gaze fixed on something outside. Why on earth was he here?

She looked over to her other side to see Abe, passed out in the armchair, snoring lightly. A small smile flickered on her lips. Caleb was curled on his chest, Abe's arm resting across himself to support their son. It was one of the most beautiful things she had ever seen. She watched them for a while, using the sound of Abe's strange breathing pattern to rouse herself. Hans and Abe together in the room alone? How long had she been asleep?

Anna finally shifted, trying her best to sit up.

Hans heard and looked back from the window. "Anna," he breathed in relief, immediately moving to her side.

"Can you help me sit up?" she asked, her voice croaky.

He nodded, supporting her so that she could sit against the pillows he gathered for her. He sat down on the bed, facing her, her hand still resting lightly in his.

She smiled weakly at him, Hans returning it whole heartedly. She looked over at Abe and Caleb, her heart swelling. Abe's snoring had reached a new level of loud, yet Caleb remained nestled happily against him.

Then she looked back to Hans. "Have you stopped fighting, then?" she asked, Hans' thumb rubbing her hand.

"In a manner of speaking," he murmured, squeezing her hand now. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she said with a huffy laugh. "You?"

"Same," he replied, both of them smiling at one another.

"Did you stay here the whole time?" Anna asked, Hans nodding. "Thank you."

"I couldn't leave you," he admitted. "Not again."

"Hans..."

"I was terrified, Anna," he cut across. "Seeing you like that... it made me think about what you've been through. Everyone you've lost."

"Everyone we've lost," she corrected, squeezing his hand. "I wish they were all here with you."

"Karl and I reconciled before he died," he said suddenly, Anna taking in a sharp breath. "We had a plan to get back to you. I just wanted you to know that."

"I never gave up on either of you," she admitted. "Neither did Freddie." She looked away for a moment, wiping away her tears. "I'm so glad you're alive," she whispered. "They don't seem so far away when you're here."

He brought her hand closer to him, looking down at it. He seemed to be building to something, Anna curious as to the words burning in his throat. He finally let his gaze meet hers, tears welling in his eyes.

"Hans?" she breathed.

"He's a good man, Anna," he said quickly, the words tumbling from his lips. They both glanced over at Abe, then back at one another. "I know what I said before, but I was being selfish... again." She placed her other hand over their entwined fingers, tears now trickling down her cheeks. "I know you don't need my endorsement, but I wanted to tell you whilst I still could... whilst the moment still belonged to us."

"Thank you," she whispered. "It makes me really happy to hear you say that." She brought his hand to her lips, kissing it lightly. "Spoken like a true cellist."

He managed a smile, and so did she. She leant forward, her arms outstretched to invite him into her embrace. Tentatively, he leant forward and hugged her, his hands spreading over her back.

She let her hand cup the back of his head, taken in by the familiarity of his smell. "Please promise me that you'll be happy, Hans," she breathed, her nose buried into his neck.

"I'll try," he returned, his voice thick with emotion. She pulled back a little way, holding his face between her hands.

"I mean it," she urged, her thumb stroking his tears away. "Your happiness is still important to me. I've lost so much time with you. It would mean everything to me to know that you are out there in the world, living a good life."

"After everything I've done," he managed, his tears not disappearing, "why do you still care for me at all? I don't deserve it."

"Yes you do," she whispered, leaning forward and kissing him lightly on the forehead. They sat together, their foreheads resting against one another's.

Then they heard Caleb stir, his griping not stirring his noisy father. Anna looked at them again, a huge, warm smile spreading across her face.

Hans watched her, his heart pounding by how transfixed she was by them. "Shall I help you up?" he asked, Anna nodding as she wiped her eyes quickly. Hans held her so that she got shakily to her feet. She leant into him, Hans leading her around the bed towards her husband. She squeezed his hand as if to tell him to let her go, letting him back away.

Anna reached out gently, her finger tips touching Abe's face lightly. His touch always sent sparks through her, Anna still smiling as his eyes fluttered open.

He looked up at her, his big brown eyes wide with confusion.

"Hello," she managed.

"Anna!" he breathed, shooting to his feet whilst still grasping Caleb in one arm, nearly knocking her off balance. He managed to catch her, his lips pressing to her cheek. "Thank god."

"He's got nothing to do with it," she replied, Abe laughing throatily. Anna clung to him, Abe wrapping his arm around her waist as he cradled a wriggling Caleb in the other. He wasn't sure which one to focus on.

"Here," he said, placing Caleb in her arms. "You take him, I take you."

Her arms felt so complete as her son was placed in them, her gaze completely focused on his features as Abe scooped her up in his arms and sat on the bed with her.

Abe couldn't stop the grin on his face. He'd told himself all night long that Anna would make it, but there was always that awful pang of doubt. Yet here she was, in his arms again, their squirming child between them. He felt tears well in his eyes at her dreamy expression. The love she had for their son was so truly beautiful. It was the same way she looked at Elli. The same way she looked at him.

They were so wrapped up in the moment, Hans simply watching them. His heart pined in jealousy, but it felt different this time. He had spent all night worried that she might never wake up; to see her so happy was worth the pain it caused him.

"You had me real worried there baby," whispered Abe, his arms enclosed around his wife and son. Anna nuzzled her nose into his neck, then pressed her lips against his. He felt so wonderful, his arms around her so safe and inviting. Caleb started to cry, Anna surprised by the reaction her body was having.

"Oh," she said in surprise, looking down. "I think he needs feeding."

"Yeah, he's due one around now," said Abe. Both of them looked up at Hans as he cleared his throat.

"I'll take that as my cue," he said. "I'll freshen up, then come back to check in on you all."

"Thank you, Hans," said Anna earnestly.

"Yeah," chorused Abe. "Thank you." It was heartfelt, Hans smiling at both of them. He nodded, then left the family together, content at last, that all was well again.

***

Anna held Caleb against her, humming 'Georgia On My Mind' gently as he cuddled into her.

Abe watched them both, unable to keep the grin from his face. To say that the past few days had been an ordeal was quite the understatement. But out of it, came their miracle. It had been so wonderful to see everyone together.

The minute Hans had told everyone that she was awake, they had run straight to her room. To see all of the people she so adored and had missed so terribly was a reward she had never expected. Sam even managed to get a message all the way to Aaron in Missouri, so that he could tell Elli and Ma the wonderful news.

Anna was especially happy to see Freda. Though she said nothing and lingered at the back of the group, Anna was so happy to see that she cared enough to visit. Hans had not come back until they had all gone. He seemed to be far more respectful of Abe now, asking permission to come in and check on mother and child. He had made it plain though, that he would remain in Germany as long as they did. Their goodbye was not going to be right away.

Anna finally looked up from Caleb, catching her husband's gaze. She smiled back at him, beckoning him over. Happily obliging, Abe came and enclosed them both in his arms. He buried his nose in Anna's hair, joining in with Anna's humming. Smiling, she stopped, turning so that she could press her ear to his chest. They swayed together, reliving such a special moment with a new found appreciation.

Then there came a gentle knock on the door, both of them glancing up in confusion. Abe kissed Anna's head, going to answer it. He tugged open the door, his expression lifting.

"Hello Freda," he said, keeping his voice light. Anna looked up eagerly, Freda stepping into the room at Abe's invitation.

"Good morning," said Freda, shooting Abe a genuine smile before her gaze settled on Anna. There was a strange silence, both of them simply staring at the other.

"I will leave you alone," said Abe gently, Anna nodding gratefully as he shut the door behind them. Anna lay Caleb down on the bed, gesturing for Freda to take the seat opposite her. She did so, looking down at Caleb as she did.

"He's so beautiful," said Freda, reaching out and touching his hand lightly.

"Did you want to hold him?" asked Anna. Freda nodded, lifting Caleb and cradling him in her arms. She rocked him gently as he gurgled, Anna's heart swelling as she watched the two of them. Her eyes brimmed with tears, Freda noticing.

"Why are you crying?" she asked, Anna letting out a huffy laugh as she wiped them away.

"Because I love you both so much," she managed, Freda smiling at her. "I know you're angry with me..."

"Not anymore," promised Freda. "I wanted to tell you that when I first saw you. But then I saw you with your husband, and I was jealous."

"I understand," whispered Anna. "I'm glad you're here now." Freda suddenly looked sad, her gaze focused on Caleb. "Darling, what's wrong?"

"I came to tell you," she began, sniffing back her own tears. "The verdict." Anna's heart pounded in her chest, but she tried her best to remain composed. "Guilty," said Freda, "of course. He's to be executed."

There was a long silence. Anna was pleased, and ultimately relieved. But there was a strange pang in her heart. Sitting here with Freda made her remember the strange family dynamic they had had. She was worried for her.

"I'm really sorry, Freda," she said finally, moving her chair closer so that she was beside her. She wound her arm around Freda's shoulders, Freda smiling at her through teary eyes.

"It's all right," she mumbled. "I know he deserves it. Not just for his war crimes... but for everything else."

"He was still your father," soothed Anna. "You're allowed to be sad."

"I've known what a monster he was for years," returned Freda, looking at Anna. "The night you lost the baby is etched in my mind for ever. I tried to ignore it at first, but that's just because I couldn't face knowing that my father was an awful man. He'd never been awful to me."

"He was a good father," agreed Anna, but Freda shook her head.

"He never protected me against my mother," she reminded her. "The only parent I ever had that looked after me properly, was you." Anna squeezed Freda's shoulder, her bottom lip trembling. She felt so guilty. Her poor darling girl. "It's why I was so angry at you," she whispered. "You'd always looked after me, and I missed you so much."

"I missed you too," replied Anna, her voice thick with emotion. "I'm so sorry my darling; I never wanted to hurt you..."

"Anna, it's all right. It took time, but I really do understand." Freda rested her head against Anna's cheek, nestling into her. "You still found a way to look after me. You sent me to Helga. That saved both of us. After she lost Karl, I think she needed someone. And so did I." Freda looked up at her. "You have no idea what you really do for people, Anna. I am grateful for you every day. So is Oskar. He told me to tell you he misses you too. Eric doesn't remember..."

"I miss you all so much," cut in Anna. "You were my whole happiness in that house."

"I know," whispered Freda, blinking away more tears. There was another pause. "I just wanted you to know that we are all okay. Truly, we are. Mother is better. She found us somewhere else to live so we didn't have to stay with Grandmother. She's met someone new too. She seems happy." Anna smiled, nodding.

"That's good."

"It's better for the boys," confirmed Freda. "When they moved, I stayed with Helga. I was happier there. I felt closer to you; you grew up there, and it made me happy to feel a part of it."

"I never deserved you Freda," said Anna, Freda smiling.

"Yes, you did. You made me into who I am today." She looked down at Caleb, stroking his head. "He's very lucky to have you. So is your sister... and your husband." She looked back at Anna, both of them grinning. "He's lovely, isn't he? Your husband."

"Abraham," sighed Anna wistfully. "Yes, he is."

"Very tall. Very handsome," confirmed Freda, Anna giggling. "He's even nice to Hans..."

"Just about," interjected Anna. "He nearly throttled him at least twice."

"I think that's understandable," commented Freda, taking Anna's hand. "When do you go back to America?"

"Next week," said Anna. "Abe wanted to wait until Caleb was a week old, so he'd be a little more sturdy for flying." Freda nodded.

"If we stay here for a while longer as well, can we spend some time together?" asked Freda. "I know how unlikely it is that we will see each other again. And letters simply aren't the same."

"Of course we can, my darling girl. Of course we can." There was a pause. "Freda?" asked Anna, noticing the turn in her.

"Can I ask you to be a mother to me one last time?" she whispered, looking at Anna.

"Of course, my love. What is it?"

"He wants to see me," murmured Freda. "Father, I mean." Anna sucked in a breath. "I want to say goodbye, but I'm afraid to go. Helga says she'll go with me... but she doesn't understand..."

"I'll take you," said Anna quickly, before she thought too much about it. "We'll go together."

"Thank you," whispered Freda as she smiled gratefully. They said nothing else, both of them sitting close together, happy to be at peace again... at least for a moment.

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