Milo's POV

It's been days since that phone call, and I've done nothing but cry and sleep. My mother forced me to eat a little bit, but I ended up vomiting anyway.

I've never felt more empty and hopeless. There's no way of getting him back now. I can't defeat someone or win a battle to get him back because he's actively choosing not to come home, and that hurts so much more than anything else.

I know he's trying to protect the coven, but the thought of never getting to see him again is ripping me apart. I don't know how I'm supposed to get over the love of my life.

I go days without saying a word, it's like I can't function, and everything around me is just falling apart.

At some point, there's a knock on the door.

"Come in," I say dryly, and my voice sounds raspy because I haven't spoken to anyone in a while.

It's Philomena. "Hey."

I don't reply and just keep staring at the wall.

"I just wanted to see if you're doing okay," she says with a concerned tone.

I blow air through my nose. "Oh, yeah, I'm doing fantastic," I reply sarcastically.

I can feel her look lingering on me. "Milo, I know it's hard for you, but I'm just trying to -"

I look at her. "Oh, you know? Do you now?" I snap at her. "You don't know what it's like, okay. You keep asking me how I'm doing as if I am doing anything better than awful! Just fucking let it be."

She's still looking at me and steps closer. "You know what, Milo? I know you're upset and going through a hard time, but I'm just trying to help you. Everyone is trying to help you and support you, and what do you do? You snap at every single one of us."

She's getting a little louder. "You think I don't know how you feel? You think I never lost anyone? You think I don't understand the pain you're going through right now?" She's borderline yelling at me by now. "You have no idea what others have been through. All we wanna do is help, and all you do is reject us and get mad at us. Think about what you're doing and how you make others feel with that." She turns around and leaves.

I stare at the door, tearing up. Fuck, she's is right. As much as it sucks getting yelled at, I really did deserve that. I let the tears fall and get up.

I wipe away my tears as I'm walking and find Philomena in her training room, sitting on a mat on the floor with her legs crossed.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" I ask quietly.

She looks up at me. "Sure."

I sit down opposite her and look at my hands. "I'm sorry. You're right. I-I... I've been acting like an asshole since Amon left a-and..." Tears start streaming down my face again. "I don't know, I don't usually act like this, I'm just so overwhelmed, and I don't know what to do, y'know?"

I look up at her and see that her face has softened. "I know," she says and pulls me into a hug.

I start crying more. "I'm sorry for the way I acted. I-I'm gonna try my best to stop acting like that and be nicer and actually be grateful for what everyone is doing for me."

"It's okay, I understand," Philomena says softly and rubs my back. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. I'm sorry too."

"It's okay, I deserved it," I mumble into her shoulder.

She just holds me for a while.

The weeks after, nothing happens. It's been a month since Amon left.

I'm still devasted. I've lost a lot of weight, and I rarely use my magic for anything at all. And with every day that goes by of him not coming back to me, the hope I have left gets smaller and smaller.

But I don't wanna accept the fact that he might never come back. I just can't. That's just... not a possibility. I don't wanna spend my life without him.

I contacted Elena and Mike, but they haven't heard from him either, so I have absolutely no way of finding him, and I don't know how to deal with that. I'm lying in my bed like so many other days when there's a knock on the door. "Come in."

Sophia walks inside. "Hey, I have important news. Cassandra had a vision."

I hold my breath. "About Amon?"

She shakes her head. "No, I'm sorry, not about Amon."

I exhale again and frown. "About what then?"

"The Onyx Coven," she replies, and my heart drops. Oh no. That can't mean anything good.

"What's gonna happen?"

"Well... they're gonna attack. We need to get ready to fight."

"I thought there's barely any of them left?"

She sits on the bed. "That's the thing. Apparently, they've found many new members again, and they've regained their power, plus they've got people like Caspian and Clio again.

I sigh and look down. I feel so weak. I don't know if I'm ready to fight. It's like all happiness is gone. It's been drained from me, and with that most of my self-belief.

"Milo, listen", she starts softly, "I know it's been really, really hard for you. But your coven needs you. You're still the leader. People look to you for guidance. We need you to fight this battle with us, okay? You're essential."

I don't reply right away. I look at my hands and make a few blue sparks emerge from them. I absently bite my lip, thinking about what's coming next.

"When is the fight happening?"

I see a tiny smile of relief on Sophia's lips. "Cassandra says it's in two days."

I nod. "Okay. Well... You know what to do. Prepare everything, and everyone."

She nods too. "Of course." She gets up to leave but turns around again before she reaches the door.

"You know, you're still a great leader. You might not feel like the best person right now, but you're going through a lot, and it doesn't make you any less worthy as a leader. Actually, I think it might make you a better leader even because even though you're dealing with so much pain, you're still willing to lead the fight of your coven. You should be proud of yourself."

She smiles at me and then leaves, and I smile a bit too. Hearing that makes me feel a little bit better.

Cause honestly, I am feeling kind of guilty. I've been neglecting all of my duties as a leader and my mom has just been doing everything for me. She said it's fine, but I still feel bad.

I take a deep breath. I haven't trained in ages, so I'm gonna go train now a little and make sure I still know how to fight. This is important.

And I know Amon would want me to lead this fight and to help the coven.

As I get to the training room, I find my mom there, talking to Philo. They look at me and smile a little.

"I wanna train a little," I say.

"I'll train with you," my mom replies with a soft smile.

Philo pats my shoulder. "I'll leave you two to it then." She leaves the room.

My mom turns to me. "Sweetie, how are you feeling?"

Like shit, but I'm not gonna tell her that. I just kinda shrug. "Could be worse, I guess."

She hugs me, and I have to hold back the tears. We let go again, and she cups my face. "You're doing great, okay?"

I smile a little, a few tears in my eyes. I blink them away, even though I'd rather cry in her arms right now. "Thank you."

"Should we train?", she asks, and I nod.

I nod. "Yeah. I haven't trained in ages. I kinda need to get back into it before it gets serious."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

So the next almost two days, I make sure I train and eat and sleep enough. I try to focus on the fight.

But I can't just forget about Amon for a while. He's always on my mind, no matter what I'm doing. He's always there.

But I'm determined. This fight is so important. None of us know how strong The Onyx Coven really is right now, but they must be powerful if they're gonna attack.

So, it's a little scary. What if we lose? What if they capture us or kill us? That can't happen. We have to win the fight.

This would all be a lot less scary if Amon was here. Not only is he great at calming me down, but he's also probably the most powerful sorcerer currently alive, or at least one of the most powerful.

But he's not here to fight with us, and I guess I have to accept that.

I have to keep reminding myself of the most crucial thing in magic - self-belief. And yes, I know you've heard it a thousand times, but no matter how often people say it or remind you of it, it stays incredibly important.

With no self-belief, you won't achieve the things you want. You won't be as strong as you could be. So, yeah. It's always self-belief. Always.