TW: Mention of suicidal thoughts

Amon's POV

I don't know how long it's been since I broke the curse. Everything is a little blurry, and I'm still unsure what I should do next.

I don't think I can go back. I would just put the whole coven at risk. I don't think I can deal with that right now. I just walk for a while and eventually get to a town. I see a payphone and decide that maybe it's best to call Milo.

I didn't even think payphones still existed, to be honest. I don't have any money with me, but that's fine. I have magic. I dial Milo's number and anxiously bite my lip as I wait for him to pick up.

"Hello?" He sounds suspicious. My heart skips a beat when I hear his voice, and I tear up immediately.

"Milo," I say softly.

"Amon? Oh my god, are you okay?"

I take a trembling breath. The realization just sunk in that I have to tell him that I'm not coming home. "Yeah, I'm... I'm okay."

It sounds like Milo is crying. "I was so worried. What did they do to you?"

"They put me under some sort of curse, but I broke out of it and got away."

He sniffs. "I'm so happy to hear that. Where are you? When are you gonna be back?"

I feel a pit in my stomach. "Milo, I... I don't think I can come back."

It's silent for a few seconds. "What? Why- why not?"

"You saw what I did..." I gulp. "I-I hurt you so badly, and then I killed Alvina-"

"But that wasn't you!" Milo interrupts me, and he sounds borderline hysterical, which hurts my heart. "You weren't in control, and now everything is fine again."

Tears are streaming down my face by now. "Nothing is fine. She's dead because of me. They used me as a weapon. What if that happens again? It's way too dangerous for me to come back, maybe the curse isn't fully gone yet, and I'll just cause even more pain."

"No, we can figure this out. You're gonna come home, and we're gonna figure this out together. Amon, please..."

His voice cracks, and it's hard for me not to just start sobbing. "I can't. I'm sorry."

"You can just leave me! I need you, please. I don't wanna be without you!" He's yelling by now, and I feel sick from the pain in my chest.

"I can't risk hurting the people I love again. I'm doing this because I love you more than anything, and I'm sorry, I truly am. I wish I could come home and that everything would be just fine, but that can't happen."

"Amon, please..."

"I'm sorry," I breathe, "Thank you for everything."

"No, please, you can't... you can't leave me, you're everything to me."

I whisper one more "I'm sorry" before I hang up. I walk for a few minutes, into the woods somewhere, before I break down crying.

That was the hardest and most painful thing I've ever had to do. I cover my mouth so I don't throw up, and I turn on my back. The pain in my chest is so bad I can barely move anymore.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

A few days later...

I step through the stream to get to the other side. My boots get wet, but at this point, I don't really care anymore about anything.

I've been walking around in random places for a few days now. I've lost track of time because I keep jumping around in different time zones.

I barely eat, I barely even drink anything, and I don't really sleep either. I'm a mess, and not just physically.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about what to do next, but in all these hours of pointless wandering around, I couldn't come up with a single thing.

And to be honest, some bad thoughts have crossed my mind. There seems to be no way back to happiness for me. There's no way out. All I see in front of me is pain.

So I keep thinking that maybe the easiest thing to do would just be to end it all, to jump from a bridge, or to throw myself into a wild river.

But there's this tiny spark, that glimmer of hope that still keeps me going. I feel lost, devastated, broken, but I haven't quite given up yet. I'm close to it, I can't lie, but something still keeps me going.

I sit down on a big rock next to the stream and just watch the water flow. I close my eyes and listen to the sounds around me, the birds, the water, the trees in the wind. Tears start slowly streaming down my cheeks, and I just let them.

I feel so alone. I have no one left. No one.

"Amon."

I flinch as I hear a deep, soft voice behind me. I open my eyes and turn around and see an old man in front of me, a gentle smile on his face. I look at him, confused.

"Who are you?" Usually, I'd get ready to defend myself. But I don't care that much about dying right now, and I have no strength anyway.

He sits down next to me. "My name is Osiris. I am also a sorcerer."

I look at him for a few seconds. "How did you find me? And how do you know my name?"

He chuckles softly. "Well, I am - if I do say so myself - very advanced in certain fields of sorcery. I felt that a lost soul was wandering through these woods. And from what I've heard from The Crimson Coven and from the way you look, I assumed that you really are the great Amon Poe."

I look down. "I'm not that great," I mumble.

I feel his look linger on me for a while. "Come with me," he says eventually, "I'll give you something to eat. And I think I might be able to help you."

Maybe on the first day after I left, I would've gotten excited about him saying that. But right now, I'm too drained to get my hopes up. I don't wanna get disappointed.

I look back at him for a few seconds, and he holds out his hand. I grab his hand, and he pulls me up. He's pretty strong for his age. Probably a magic thing.

Osiris lets go of my hand again and creates a portal. We step through it and arrive in front of a house. We still seem to be in the same forest. He leads me into the small, wooden house. It looks a lot bigger on the inside, and I have a suspicion that might also be a spell.

The house is nicely decorated and gives off a warm, inviting vibe. A fire in a fancy fireplace is filling the place with light and warmth. I breathe out deeply and release some of the tension I've been holding in my body.

"Sit down," Osiris says and gestures to the dining area. I sit down and he puts two sausages, mashed potatoes, and broccoli on a plate and puts it down in front of me. He also fills a glass with water and puts it on the table too, and then smiles at me.

"Eat. You'll feel better."

I smile a little. "Thank you."

I start eating, and it's quiet for a while. "You've experienced a lot of pain recently," Osiris suddenly says, and I glance up at him. "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

I take a deep breath and then tell him about the whole situation and why I'm here. I don't know if it's smart to confide in a stranger, but what do I have to lose?

I start crying a little as I tell the story. When I'm done, I just stare at my plate, a few tears still falling. Osiris puts a hand on my arm, and I immediately feel calmer. I don't know why he has that effect, but he has to be very powerful.

"I am sorry you had to go through all that, Amon," he says, and in his friendly green eyes, I can see sadness. I just nod and sniff.

"But all hope is not lost," he keeps going, "I can help you. I can teach you to strengthen your mind and to control your power and return home."

I look up at him, surprised. He sounds serious about this. "Really?"

He smiles at me. "Yes, really. It will take a bit of time and a lot of hard work, but I know you can do it. You're powerful."

I keep staring at him. "How do I know I can trust you?"

He's still smiling. "That's a good question, and you have every reason to distrust a stranger like me. Would it help if we made a vow?"

I think about it for a few seconds. "Yeah."

"Well, go ahead, you know how to do it, don't you?" He chuckles a little.

"Uh, yeah." I take a deep breath and take his hands. "Say your name out loud."

"Osiris."

I wait for him to say more. He chuckles. "I don't have a last name."

"Oh." I smile a little. "Uhm... do you vow to help me control my powers and strengthen my mind, so I can return back to my normal life without taking advantage of me or going behind my back?"

He looks into my eyes. "I vow."

A purple glow rushes through my veins and crosses over to Osiris' arm. My look follows it.

"Est effectus voti in hoc," I add quietly and let go of his hands. I look up at him. "What- what now?"

"Well, I think it's better if you finish your food and get some sleep before we start this whole thing."

I nod. "Okay." I finish my food, and then he shows me to the guest bedroom.

"Get some rest, Amon." He smiles at me.

I smile back at him a little. "Thank you. For... all of this."

"No need to thank me," he replies, "it's what the world owes to you after what you've done." He smiles at me one more time before he leaves and closes the door behind him.

I let myself fall on the bed and take a deep breath.

This better work. It's my only hope... My last hope.