"Ok guys, get your shit together please." Marth sighed. "We're supposed to be wholesome today because the author needs a break from writing gore. And also he felt bad about writing yet another gory chapter that he was gonna publish on the 15th as a birthday present for one of his friends. So instead he's writing this. Also, he apologizes for all the gore in the recent chapters."

"Marth you can't just SAY things like that-" Link protested.

"Yes, I can. Now stfu, we have wholesome stuff to get to." Marth flipped his hair (does he have enough hair to flip? Idfk) and glared sassily at Link.

"Maaaaarth are you reverting to your fanon personality?" Pit asked, hanging half off the couch and smiling. But because he was upside-down, just like Claude taught him, it looked like a frowny face.

Frowny face emoji.

"Nah fam, not even I will stoop that low." Marth wrinkled his nose in disgust and turned to face the camera. He clapped his hands and said "OKAY ANYWAYS."

Robin, who was unsurprisingly skipping his therapy session, rolled his eyes and kept scrolling through Twitter.

"He's totally going back to his fanon personality." Link whispered conspiratorially, leaning over so Pit could hear him better without Marth overhearing.

"Well fuck." Roy said. "I don't like fanon Marth. He's too much of a diva and not enough of a mama. I like mama Marth better."

Sheik snickered, but he tried to keep his expression neutral as he flipped the pages of his book.

"Hey, Sheik, what are you reading?" Roy asked, in an attempt to carry the discussion away from fanon Marth and to something more interesting.

"Eh, not much." Sheik shrugged and kept reading.

Lmao maybe he's working on his Kakashi impression and reading hentai.

"It better not be one of your nerd books again." Robin said.

"Says you." Sheik responded casually.

HA, GOTTEM

Much to everybody's surprise, instead of getting angry, Robin laughed. Like, genuinely laughed.

The rest of the boys just stared as Sheik started laughing too.

"Who are you and what have you done with Robin???" Link asked incredulously.

"I walked right into that one!" Robin wheezed, trying to catch his breath and failing.

Sheik was laughing too hard to respond.

"This is weird." Roy whispered, subtly edging closer to Link.

"Kinda." Pit agreed.

Finally, both Sheik and Robin calmed down enough to breathe without immediately breaking into laughter again.

That didn't last long lmao

The room was dead silent for a minute until Sheik said "Robin, how many alternate accounts do you have on Twitter?"

"Uhh... I'm not telling you that."

"You must be overcompensating for something then."

LMAO GOTTEM (again)

Robin stared at him for a good half second before saying "Bruh what are you smoking? I'm not overcompensating for anything. Just ask the stupid girls I hook up with on a daily basis."

"Nothing lol" Sheik stuck his tongue out at Robin and cackled. "I feel great, and you're overcompensating, I'm sure of it :D"

"LMFAO ok buddy." Robin rolled his eyes and tried to repress the urge to laugh again. Then, he turned to Ike and asked "Bro can I have what he's having? He must be high as fuck right now, he never does this."

"Fuck no." Ike replied. "I'm pretty sure he's not on drugs??"

"Just my anti-depressants :D" Sheik laughed again. "And everybody says don't share medicine. Didn't you learn that in health class, Robin?"

"Bold of you to assume I actually paid attention in that class when it wasn't about the reproductive system." Robin said smugly.

"Well, I still don't think my medicine would be good for you. Sometimes it makes me feel worse, so who knows what it'll do to you?" Sheik pointed out.

"Wait I thought you only had most of the side effects when you take a double dose?" Link asked, clearly concerned and a little worried.

"Yep!" Sheik nodded enthusiastically. "Sometimes I take more because it makes me think less the more I take. But then when I do think, it's usually negative thoughts. Also sometimes it makes me sleepy."

"Jesus fuck, man." Link sighed and shook his head. "Are you sure you're not trying to overdose?"

"Nah, I know my limits. I'm not gonna overdose or something."

"Out of curiosity, how many pills would you have to take to make it a lethal dose?" Robin asked.

Sheik shrugged. "I dunno."

"Wait I thought you said you knew your limits-" Link protested.

"Whoops."

Ike watched the whole exchange with mild concern in his eyes. Robin's question had unnerved him, to be honest.

But that's not important because they're supposed to be wholesome this chapter, so fuck off with your thoughts of doom, Ike.

"My god, you're a crackhead today." Roy laughed and patted Sheik on the back after he told a particularly weird yet funny joke.

"Yeah, but I promise I'm not on drugs-drugs. I'm just really happy."

"Sounds like something someone who's been doing drugs would say." Robin muttered. "I have experience with that, actually."

"Robin shut up, you're not supposed to be a druggie until-"

"ROY SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU'RE GONNA SPOIL SOMETHING IMPORTANT!" Marth yelled.

"SORRY MOM!" Roy yelled back.

"Hmph." Marth did a very good job of looking insulted. Of course he wasn't actually insulted, he embraced his role as the group mom. He just wants to look after his crackhead children.

Well, except Robin. Ain't nobody got time for an abuser lol

"Ok but seriously, I haven't seen you this happy in months." Link said to Sheik. "It's nice and all, but like... what's going on?"

"Something finally went right." Sheik said simply, then shrugged. Then he subtly gestured to the camera, which Pit was dutifully holding, and put a finger to his lips.

"I see." Link nodded wisely. He ruined it by leaning closer to Roy and muttering "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Idfk, don't ask me."

"You're no help."

I kinda ran out of ideas so like... idk. Bring on the tweets!

SOCIAL MEDIA ROUNDUP!