{Chapter 23}

Aubrey lay in bed that night with a strange feeling in the pit of her stomach. She ached for that pillow wall to be gone and for Wade to hold her in his arms. Rolling onto her back, she sighed. That kiss did nothing but cause a complication. A lovely, sweet-feeling complication, but a complication nonetheless. Sitting up, she gave up all hope of sleeping. The moonlight poured through the curtain on the window above the head of the bed and lit the space in front of her. Leaning over, she looked to see if Wade was asleep. He was laying there, wide awake and staring at the ceiling.

“You can’t sleep either, love?” he asked.

Aubrey shook her head, trying in vain to ignore the new meaning behind that endearment he gave her.

“Guess I’m too tense right now” she admitted.

“Something wrong?” Wade sat up beside her.

Aubrey diverted her eyes. When had he started taking off his shirt when going to bed? Thinking back, she remembered him doing so for the past few days. Not that she minded at all, however.

“Nothing’s wrong, Wade. Nothing at all.”

“Are you missing your family?”

“No?”

“Sore?”

“Not much.”

“Did I do something?”

Aubrey smiled at him. “You didn’t do anything, hon.”

Why did that name come out?

Wade leaned his head against the headboard of the bed. “I don’t know why I can’t sleep either.”

“After all, it’s not like we have to get up early or anything,” Aubrey said sarcastically as she rested her arms on the pillow wall.

Wade sighed and rubbed his eyes. There was a brief silence.

“Aubrey, do you think we should’ve… in this situation….”

Aubrey knew what he meant. “Yes” she stated.

Wade looked at her. “You have no idea how confused I am. I’ve asked God to help me know how to provide for you, how to make this place your home. I’m running out of ideas, honey. If you want to go home, then you can go. I’ll pay your way.”

Aubrey stared at him. He thought she would still want to leave him even after she had given him her first kiss? No way.

“Listen here, Wade Dylan. Like it or not, you’re stuck with me. I don’t just kiss anybody, you know. There was some thought put into that. No sir, I’m not going anywhere” Aubrey laid back on her pillows.

She could have sworn that she saw Wade smile.

“As you wish, then” He rolled over and put a pillow from the pillow wall over his head.

Aubrey reached across the gap and took his hand in hers before closing her eyes and eventually drifting off to sleep, comforted by the steady grip of his hand.

**********

Wade got up and dressed the next morning, the early morning sun pouring through the window behind him. He checked to make sure that Jay was still sleeping. He walked around to the foot of the bed where he and Aubrey slept and saw her getting up.

“Why don’t you sleep for a while longer?” he asked, kneeling in front of her.

“What about the chores?” Aubrey rubbed her eyes with her knuckles like a child would do, making Wade smile.

“Don’t worry about them. It won’t kill us to do our job for once” Wade assured her.

Aubrey shook her head. “No, I’ll go.”

Wade stood and laid her back down. “You’ll stay home today, okay? Neither of us got much sleep last night.”

“Then why don’t you stay home?” Aubrey tried to get up again, but Wade stopped her.

“Because I took yesterday off. Now if I find you down there I’ll be obliged to bend you over my knee, okay?” Wade said, teasing her.

Aubrey smoothed a few frizzy strands of hair out of her face. “Fine” she muttered groggily.

Wade took his hands off her. “I’ll see you later.”

Aubrey nodded and sighed, appearing to be asleep again. Her hair was frizzed and slightly tangled, her cheek had her handprint on the side of it from where she had slept on her hand, but she was still the most beautiful woman in the world to him. She had a heart of pure gold.

He rubbed the side of her face with the back of his finger and smiled. “How I love you,” he whispered.

He bent down and kissed her forehead, then her nose, and turned to leave. Now was one of the times he wished he didn’t have to work with ugly, smelly cattle all day.

**********

“Sorry I didn’t make it up here Monday, Libby” Toni sat cross-legged across from her little girl’s grave, twisting a blade of grass between her fingers. “I got caught up with the boys and I went to town on Tuesday. Don’t guess you mind, do you?”

No answer came from the little wooden cross.

“Didn’t think so. Well, how’s Heaven this year? Tell your Grandpa I said hey and that I’m still going by ‘Toni’” Toni smiled.

She missed the child, and she hadn’t even met her alive. Sandy was an amazing blessing, but she still felt like a part of her was missing.

“You okay?” Erik appeared beside her and sat down.

Toni nodded. “McBride, I want another kid.”

“A w-what?” Erik sputtered.

“Another kid. Sandy’s two years old now,” Toni said. “I think it’s time for her to have a sibling.”

“Toni” Erik groaned.

“You don’t want one?”

“Of course I do. Sandy was just so terrifying. You were bleeding like a stuck pig and cryin’… I don’t know if I can go through that again without passing out” Erik admitted.

Toni laughed. “You won’t even have to be in there this time, hon.”

“Last time you wouldn’t let me move and you looked like you were about to kill me for doing that to you” Erik said.

“Come on, Erik. Please?” Toni batted her eyelashes at him, the fast movement causing something to get in her eye. She blinked a few times and rubbed her eye.

Erik arched an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know, Toni. I think we should think and pray about this some before we decide.”

“I agree” Toni nodded.

“About ready to head home?” Erik asked.

Toni looked over at him. “I suppose.”

She stood and lovingly touched the wooden cross. “I love you, Libby,” she whispered.

Erik’s hand clasped over her shoulder and she put her hand over his, blinking at the tears stinging behind her eyes. She turned to leave, sending a glance at Ben Smith’s grave. Erik tipped his hat to the grave and helped Toni mount her horse before straddling his own.

“Hope we never have to add another person to this place” Toni said.

“Me either, hon. Let’s go” Erik turned his horse and made a clicking sound.

Toni followed shortly behind him with one final glance at her daughter’s grave.

**********

Erik caught Sandy up in his arms once he reached home and gave her a hug. Sure, he wouldn’t mind having another child. He just wasn’t looking forward to the whole birthing process again. Toni had slapped him so much it felt like he was one big bruise by the time he held little Sandy in his arms. On top of that, she had blamed him for making her have a child. Toni was the one wanting the child in the first place. Toni was usually a level-headed person, but when she was in labor, not a rational word came out of her mouth. Erik was just worried that she would be stuck that way.

“Where’s Jay?” Sandy asked.

“He stayed home today with Miss Aubrey” Toni told Sandy from her place next to Erik.

“He okay?” Erik asked her.

“Yeah, Wade said that Aubrey didn’t sleep well, so he made her stay home. I’d say them boys got used to her doing their chores for them, the bums” Toni smiled.

Erik loved his wife’s smile. When he had first met her, she hardly showed it. Then after she had accepted the Lord, she let him see it more often. Though Erik wished she would wear it all the time.

“I’ve gotta get to work, pumpkin” Erik poked Sandy gently in the side.

Sandy wriggled out of his arms and Erik set her down.

“Yeah, get to work, you lazy galoot” Toni teased and socked him playfully on the shoulder.

Erik smiled and kissed her. How he loved her, orneriness and all.

**********

Aubrey grinned at her little home, all fixed up with the sheets washed and pillows fluffed, the tablecloth cleaned, the floor swept, the fireplace cleaned, and the stove polished. It had taken her all day, but it was worth it.

She looked down at her hands, covered in black polish. She began washing them and heard footsteps on the porch. The door opened, and Wade entered.

“Did I see Jay building something out there?” he asked.

Aubrey was still scrubbing her hands with her back turned. “I gave him some of the boards that were leftover from the barn. I hope you don’t mind. He was awfully bored.”

“No, I don’t mind, I just…” Wade stopped talking when she turned around.

“What?” Aubrey looked down at her dress, blackened with soot from the fireplace.

“What did you do all day?” he asked, looking around the room.

Aubrey listed off all she had cleaned and dusted, counting with her fingers.

“You’ve been busy, huh?” Wade smiled at her.

Aubrey nodded.

“Well, you have soot on your nose, you know that, right?” Wade smiled at that.

Aubrey rubbed her nose and saw the black on her freshly washed fingers.

“You’re making it worse” Wade grabbed a dishtowel as he walked toward her.

“I didn’t even notice” Aubrey tried to look at her nose, making her look cross-eyed.

Wade shook his head and smiled, cleaning the tip of her nose with the dishtowel.

“Thanks” Aubrey said.

“We couldn’t have anything messing up that pretty little face of yours, can we?” Wade touched her nose with his finger and walked back to the door to remove with hat and chaps.

Aubrey blushed. She looked around for something to do to conceal it.

“What’s he building?” she walked to window to watch Jay.

“I have no idea” Wade threw his chaps over the back of a chair and walked to stand behind her and watch Jay as he tried carrying a board with Sadie running around his feet.

“Guess we’ll find out soon enough” Aubrey shrugged.

She felt Wade’s arms encircle her waist, and the movement caught her off guard.

“I love you,” he whispered.

She turned in his arms and faced him, looking up into his beautiful eyes. “I know,” she whispered back.