As Bethany cried her bottom lip quivered, the same as a baby pushed past endurance. Her eyes became glacier blue under the sheen of water, constant, yet allowing the tears to flow without pause. In that moment, in seeing her own reflection in the bedroom mirror she understood the depth of pain that had been sitting below her skin.

"I will never be the one a guy chooses, someone will always be first. I've lost every one of my friends , Samantha to the new rich girl that moved to town, Dahlia because of my tongue. Everyone else left when my money did. Maybe I was sent here to realize what friendship actually meant. But I hadn't had any realization, the only thing I did know was that it was every man for themselves out here. Or maybe I'm just being emotional right now, either way, having my feelings brushed aside, hurt." She said quietly.

She sat there on the bay window looking out. Her mind raced with endless questions and memories. One memory stuck throughout the years and she grimaced when now she couldn't push it away.

“You know Bethany has the hots for you right?” Asked Logan

Bethany paused next to the bleachers as she listened to her friends talking about her.

“What?” Javier replied giving Logan a playful push.

“I'm serious man. She follows you around like a lost puppy. She looks at you like you're something to eat” said Logan

She winced. Was she really that obvious. All along she thought she was doing well hiding the fact she had a humongous crush on Javier. She has since the day his grandfather moved him to town. How could she not? His Spanish accent was like warm chocolate dipped on your tongue. His face? Oh my, God took his time when he made that one, his body? She shivered as she took a peek at him.

“I hope it's not like that, you know she's like a sister to me” Javier replied as he dribbled the ball pass Logan

Bethany’s body went numb.

“Yeah I know you only have eyes for Isabella.” Said Logan in an annoyed tone. “You always get the good ones”

“Yeah, she beautiful though isn't she? Her eyes are out of this world” said Javier

“No arguments there. Poor Beth didn't even stand a chance. She such a plain Jane. For a girl with money you'd think she would at least dress up a little” Logan complained.

“She's alright” Javier lightly defended.

“So you love Isabella?” Asked Logan hesitantly

“Um...yeah. I guess I do.” Javier replied

She couldn't stick around to listen anymore. She ran from the gym and headed for the bathroom. She locked herself into the stall and cried her heart out.

Bethany leaned her head against the window as a sob escaped. The memories seem to be pouring in at the wrong time.

She quickly washed her face and headed towards her locker. With her head buried inside she search for her history book. The next thing she knew is she heard cheering. She looked up just in time to see Javier and Isabella walking down the hallway in her direction, holding hands. What she didn't know is Isabella saw her standing there and grabbed hold of his hands.

She looked at their joined hands then slowly up at Javier's face. He was looking at her. A single lonely tear escaped down her cheek. She saw him pause, his brows knitted as he saw her tear.

She took a step back, Isabella wrapped her arms around his neck, he looked at Bethany, Bethany's heart began to race, Isabella kissed him, Bethany turned and ran, her bag slipped from her shoulder but she didn't stop to pick it up.

Bethany clenched her fist in her lap as Javier's face was replaced by Jordan's. Jordan with that woman gently touching his face. The action had brought back so many painful memories that once again she had turned and fled.

“But I have to do this!” She screamed at her grandfather

“No sweet pea you don't. This is about a boy. You shouldn't change your body for him to notice you” he replied

“It's my body!” She argued

“And you're my grand baby. You'll only regret this later on.” He warned her.

Absently her hands moved to her chest, she felt her breast, breast that was now designed, shaped and molded by surgery.

“I won't regret it!” She said stubbornly

She regrets it. Her hand fell away from her breast.

“Is this boy worth all this? If he only notices you when you change your body, is he the one for you?” Her grandfather reasoned with her.

“Yes” she cried

No. She shook her head and wiped at the tears as the memory went on.

“I will not give you my blessing, I believe one day you'll find the man you'll truly love and though he might accept you for what you want to turn yourself into, I know he will be missing out on a amazing girl. Be yourself sweet pea. He will find you in time.” He told her sadly

The doorbell rang and he walked over to open it.

“Javier…”

She shook her head at her grandfather when he turned to look at her.

“I’m afraid she's not up for visitors son”

“She left this at school”

“I'll be sure she gets it”

Bethany walked over to the window and watched as Javier climbed into his car and left.

Shaking her head as though it would stop the memories she looked out the window and saw Jordan making his way across the yard to the stables. A few minutes later he immerge on his horse and rode off through the gate over into the pasture.

Her eyes shifted to the side again and became glazed with a glassy layer of tears as she watch him ride further into the distance. As she blinked, the tears dripped from her eyelids and slid down her cheeks. She bit her lip tightly in attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth; my heart sank. 

Her lower lip quivered as words slowly made their way out of her mouth. “He's lonely too…” She began, yet what followed was engulfed in the tremors.

I'll save him, but who's going to save me?