"Hey," Conner's voice came as quiet as the moment.

I laid on his bare chest, focusing on his hand as it stroked up and down my back, spreading tiny little fires through me. I tilted my head to meet his gaze. He locked on me as though reading my mind. It was so consuming that I held my breath. When my lungs screamed for air, I relieved the tension by letting my eyes fall to his lips. As though he could read my mind, they crashed into mine again. But a commotion downstairs and voices interrupted us.

"Fuck" slipped through Conner's lips as he rolled away from me while pulling on his jeans. "Stay here," he growled. His harsh tone caused me to hug the sheet around me for protection.

The warmth of his proximity drained from me as he paced to the door, but he stopped. His shoulders rose and fell with a deep breath. In a blink, he was back to me. His touch, despite conveying urgence, stunned me with its gentleness. 

"Please," it was an apology and a request all in one word, causing me to melt into his touch.

The playful boy vanished, and he was back to the Conner I recognized, the dutiful protector. I nodded my head in acceptance as he leaned in and kissed my forehead. Then, in another blink, he was gone.

The argument echoed through the apartment. Conner's mom was drunk, as was her boyfriend. His mom seamlessly floated between arguing with and defending both the men in her life. I didn't envy her position, but her son would win over a drunken boyfriend.

"Just get out of my house, man," Conner was struggling to keep his voice even, and the effort instead filled his words with exhaustion. This was clearly a rerun he was hoping to avoid.

"This isn't your house, kiddo." The man's voice was antagonizing but then changed to a sickly coo. "You don't want me to leave, do you, Sue?"

My stomach churned, and a shiver went down my spine.

There was a moment of silence. "Connie, maybe you could spend the night at Danny's?"

My heart shattered; Conner's mom chose a drunk boyfriend over her son with such callous ease. I frantically dressed, intent on getting Conner out of there. He must have had the same idea because when I pulled on my second shoe and looked to the door, he was there, leaning against the doorjamb. He was so stunning in the moonlight that I again forgot to breathe. Wordlessly, he held out a hand to me. He didn't entwine his fingers like Danny, instead his hand wrapped around mine in a tight, protective hug.

We rode in warm silence. Conner reached for me as soon as we settled into the car, and I clung to him, hoping to provide any solace I could. So many times, I had gazed out the window at the world passing me by, but my world was no longer out the window. I leaned into him as he slung an arm around me, welcoming me in. It was all so effortless I thought to myself as Conner's thumb moved back and forth over the back of my hand. I was in a movie where the plot was written; a happy ending lay in the future. Even so, something nagged at me; this wasn't my movie.

My house was dark when we arrived. I slipped my flip-flops off and took Conner's hand that was reaching out to me yet again. The cool grass felt wet on my feet, but it was just the ground missing the sun. The thought sent sadness through me, longing for the bright warmth of the sun as well. Conner paused at the doorway.

"Stay with me," I enticingly whispered, afraid he would say no.

"I can't," but as he spoke, he drew me to him.

His height made it was easy to meet his gaze, but I struggled to rip my eyes from his lips. He kissed me in a way that was a goodbye. It was sour and painful, as though I was biting into a lemon when expecting an orange. Instinctively, I pushed him away.

"Where will you go?" The fight in me was clear.

His arms encircled me tighter, fortifying his resolve.

"Just don't go," I begged.

"I have a place to go," but reluctance filled his voice.

"If I ask you to come in for a little while..."

"I'll never leave," the right side of his mouth curled in a half-smile.

I had spent so much time on his piercing green eyes and push-button nose; how had I missed his lips? It was all I could think about now. How they felt on mine, trailing down to my chin and along my neck. They would tickle most provocatively.

"Come in for a little while," I leaned in and kissed him, but this was wanting.

We tumbled through the doorway, tangled in each other. I barely detached myself to close the door and hit the outside light I had left on before leaving for the evening. I could still see Conner, illuminated by the moonlight. Shadows cast across his features, echoing his brow and strong jaw. I longed to be wrapped up in him again, to feel a part of this romance movie. As though he could hear my thoughts, he was there, effortlessly picking me up as I nuzzled into his neck. I shifted deeper into his arms with every step, and then the soft comfort of my bed hit my back. I knew better than to expect him to crash into me; he caught himself on his elbows with barely a brush against me once again. His kiss was so intense before he rolled to my side as he kicked his shoes off. Conner nestled into the pillow, just like Danny. I half-expected him to ask me about the red balloon.

We laid in silence for a long time as I rested my head on his broad chest, listening to the thump of his heart. His palm gently smoothed my hair.

"Tell me something," I broke the silence.

"The little dot over a lowercase i is called a tittle."

Confusion on what he just said filled me, and I looked at him in shock at his sudden sense of humor before we both burst into laughter. My stomach ached before I could stop, and then I let myself collapse back to his chest.

"Emma, we can't tell him."

I knew he was talking about Danny, about reality. The humor had drained, and the knot was back. My movie had ended, and now my mind was free to wander. It was hard for me not to drift to Danny even before Conner had pulled me there with his admission. This room felt as much Danny's as mine, but I fought the direction of my thoughts. I wanted this to be just us, just Conner and Emma. I wanted it so badly that tears welled.

Conner's palm smoothed over my hair again. I hadn't realized my emptiness, but it wasn't just Danny. I had been lonely for so long it ran deep. Even as I lay tangled in Conner, the loneliness was still seeping in like the cold in the last days of summer. I burrowed deep into his chest, but he tugged me up. I resisted by delving into his neck instead.

"Emma," flitted in his breath.

He kissed my cheek and nuzzled my face softly to get close to me. I let him in and welcomed the feeling of his lips on mine.

"I'm sorry, Emma." He broke away, and his fingertips were back to smoothing my hair.

I regained myself, wiping tears away.

"We'll figure it out," he soothed as he curled around me, pulling us tightly together.

I clung to him and focused on his breath hitting my neck. He was so beautiful it hurt and so gentle in his every movement. He knew what I needed before I did. I couldn't fall asleep for fear I would wake up without him and have the whole evening be a dream, like red balloon. I lay in his arms, trying to push all the reasons I'd lose him out of my mind, trying to push Danny out of my mind.

The sun rose so slowly in the morning. I watched as the sliver of sun peaked in from my curtains and crept closer to where I lay tangled in Conner. Just as the light was about to touch us, his fingers twitched around mine, the softest of squeezes. I rolled over to catch his tender gaze; I wanted to be the girl in his eyes forever. He cupped my face before pushing a tendril of hair behind my ear. We gazed at each other for a painfully long time before we both broke.

He was on top of me; I could feel the heavy weight of him this time. He let his body sink into me. I was ready to support him. I needed his weight to hold me down to this world. To keep me from floating so far away that no one could ever reach me again. The knot of our bodies and the sensations we produced convoluted my mind. This was real, I told myself.

"Where will you go?" I asked from the bed as I sipped my coffee.

He had just stepped out of the bathroom. I didn't hear his answer at first; the peaks and valleys of his chest distracted me, recalling his smooth skin beneath my touch.

"Huh?" I realized he had answered while I lost.

"I have a place to go when this happens."

"Does this happen often?"

"Define often?" It was a sad joke, and he flashed me a mournful smile as an apology.

I tried not to pity him. He wouldn't want it, but he saw through me.

"She doesn't mean to be this way." He slid next to me on the bed and took the mug. "She has a problem. When she's sober, she's amazing; captivating; everyone wants to be near her."

I couldn't help but think of Danny and his consuming nature that drew people to him.

"Come on. We don't want to be late for brunch," Conner downed the last of the coffee.

"I can't do brunch this week. I'm officially going to be a graduate." A stretch escaped me and I realized that I probably should usher Conner out soon as my parents were bound to be home. Now that I had started coffee, they were guaranteed to be up soon as well.

A broad smile spread across Conner's face. He shared them so sparingly that I almost forgot how cherub his face looked when he let his lips genuinely curl up. "Congrats!" He leaned in and gave me a lingering kiss. "Guess that means you'll be at project grad tonight?"

Each year, the high school put on Project Graduation for the graduating seniors. It was an all-night field trip designed to keep kids from throwing a rager. The idea was good, except it just meant the rager would be the next night.

"Oh, of course; Sarah and I have so many dear friends to say goodbye to." I meant it to sound sarcastic, but Jacob came to mind as I worked through the words, and there was a slight catch in my throat.

"Hey, thirteen years is a long time to have people around; even if you don't like them, you can still care about them."

Conner's words bounced in my mind. There were bonds with these people, even if I didn't enjoy their company. It was a validating thought.

Conner left as soon as we smelled bacon frying, a telltale sign my parents were up and about. I showered and headed upstairs to find my parents stumbling through breakfast prep. They didn't have the natural ease of Nana in the kitchen, and the comedy show was undoubtedly going to be better than the food.

"Honestly, we're two well-educated people; how can we not follow simple instructions?" My mom was in awe of the failure as she set a plate of smoldering pancakes down on the table.

"How can pancakes be burnt and raw at the same time? It's a riddle." My father poked at the still oozing slabs.

"We could go out," I offered.

"I think that's safer for all of us. We wouldn't want food poisoning on your graduation day." The pancakes still distracted my father as he spoke.

"I'll call the Sommers and see if they want to join." My mom had spoken out of reflex before she sunk back into her chair. "Oh, wait. I'm sorry, Emma. We can go by ourselves." Disappointment saturated her tone.

"No, we should invite them. Just because Jacob and I broke up doesn't mean we can't still have breakfast." At least I hoped it was true. And if he was still mad at me, there would be the buffer of a bustling restaurant.

My mom didn't argue; she just popped up to call.