Routines are interesting. Sometimes they happen deliberately, like pizza and movie Thursdays or brunch Sundays, and sometimes they tumble into place as easy as the falling of dominos.

"Emma, tell me about the red balloon tattoo." Danny's voice was thick with sleep.

He had shown up late Friday evening. A musk of cheap beer, weed, and cigarettes clung to him. I didn't mind; it was a pleasant change from Jacob, who would go nowhere alone. Neither of us had spoken of the hazy kiss after the beach and, after a week passed, I wasn't even sure it happened.

Danny had poked the red balloon a few times throughout the week, but this time, in his sleepy innocence, so close to that dreamy haze, I knew he was really asking. It was silly to have a literal man of my dreams. It was even more embarrassing that I thought Danny was that man. My hesitation was apparent even as he was trailing off to sleep.

"Please," he prodded.

I loved when oncoming slumber caused his bluster to shrink to a gentle purity.

With a heavy sigh, I reluctantly began in a low voice. Secretly, I hoped Danny would fall asleep before he absorbed my words. "I was young the first time I had the dream." I was glad that Danny's eyes were closed, so he couldn't see the foolish smile I didn't hide. "It's not even a dream. It is more like a flash that you have just before you wake up. I think that's what makes it feel so real. I'm in his arms. They're long and slender, but also strong and comforting. I have my head bent into his chest. My heart feels so full I think it's going to burst. The moment feels so real, so validating. Everything leads to that one quiet moment, but I don't see it coming until I'm right there in the middle of it. Just before I wake up, I glimpse a red balloon tattoo on his torso."

"Just a balloon?" Danny's distant inflection signaled he was closer to asleep than awake.

"Just the balloon. Everything else is blurry."

"We'll find him, Em. That red balloon is your glass slipper." And then his breathing became even and rhythmic.

It was all so effortless for him to promise me a fairy tale, but it hit like a punch. Danny wouldn't waver from friendship, and somehow, I always agreed. The thought of entirely losing him was a fate worse than friends. I suspected his reconfirmation over the past couple of days had been because he remembered the kiss, but still wouldn't dare bring it up. Instead, my heart just ached, wanting more of him, but knowing I'd never have it. Part of me hoped the pain would make me bitter and angry, so much so that I'd push him away, but every pulse only made me fall deeper.

"How can you deal with that?" Sarah was no longer infatuated by Danny's antics and showed it by letting annoyance saturate every poolside conversation that included any mention of him.

"I hate going out. It's nice that he comes to see me. Otherwise, I'd be a shut-in." I tried to sound light and didn't bring up the kiss.

"I'd never let you be a shut-in. And you should go out. You're young and hot. You can't just be his sidepiece."

"Sidepiece?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah, you know, the spare," Sarah spoke so casually she clearly didn't realize how offensive she was being.

"I'm not a sidepiece. We're friends. We're family." Family didn't feel right, but it was closer to the facts than just calling him a friend.

"Well, I think you should come out; tonight."

I knew I was going to lose this battle, but hoped not responding would make it go away.

"I saw Conner last night." Sarah's tone was baiting, and I clenched my jaw tightly, trying to stifle my growing hatred of Conner. "He's still single." Her words came out in a mocking song now.

"Shocker," I was desperate for apathy. Hate was too strong of an emotion for him. "Did you go after him?"

"No, of course not."

"You can. I'm not interested."

Sarah let out a single laugh that enraged me.

"What?" I was boiling from Sarah's dismissiveness, but also annoyed at how much emotion Connor was stirring.

"Nothing, it's just you both seem to take about one minute before letting me know you aren't interested. Little heavy-handed on the protest. What happened between you two?" Sarah flopped her magazine down as she spoke. This conversation had her completely invested compared to the chatter about Danny.

"Sarah, I just got out of a five-year relationship, and if I were looking to get into another one, I wouldn't be doing it with emotionally unavailable Conner."

"Rule one of a breakup, you get one day per year."

"You just made that up."

"Yes, I did. But it's a good rule. Besides, Connor is not emotionally unavailable; he has a lot of emotions." Sarah was baiting me again, and I raised an eyebrow to allow her to continue. "There's brooding, of course, but sometimes he mixes in annoyance or anger. My favorite is sarcastic brooding."

"Given this a lot of thought." 

Sarah made it clear she disapproved of my observation by picking up her magazine again. "Em..." Sarah twisted in her lounger; she always struggled with silence, but it must be serious if she'd risk an uneven tan. "Danny is seeing girls."

Sarah wouldn't let me break her eye contact. She just stayed trained on me, looking for any hint of emotion, but I didn't let her see any.

"When I say seeing, I mean, he's getting plastered, hooking up with girls, and then stumbling here to crawl into your bed."

I didn't need the additional explanation, but it caused bile to rise in my throat.

"Em, talk to me."

"I know what you want to hear." I wanted to pull my sunglasses down and not continue, but Sarah wouldn't let it fly. "But it doesn't bother me. I'm mean, I'm not thrilled about the getting plastered part, but Danny and I aren't anything but friends."

"Fine, come out tonight. Conner said that Kyle is having people over so you can hang with Danny and his harem."

"Sarah, I hate parties, and Kyle gives me the creeps. Plus, we graduate tomorrow."

Sarah just shot me a look.

There was no argument in me; my mind swirled around Danny too heavily, so I just gave in. I didn't even remember agreeing but must have, begrudgingly. At least agreeing allowed me to slide my sunglasses down to dwell on the idea of Danny with other girls.

Time always seems to tick faster when you want it to stand still. Perfect moments of warmth or laughter that you want to pause and live in forever are gone well before you realize how special they were. Or, in my case, the minutes preceding a dreaded front-row seat to Danny's hook-ups passed in the blink of an eye.

Sarah left me to get ready with a stern warning to look hot. I didn't care; if Kyle was there, I'd go for the full coverage look. I opted for jeans and a t-shirt, hoping that Sarah would give me a pass since the shirt was V-neck and fitted. It also was purple, Danny's favorite color. I smiled to myself as I thought of the way the word purple rolled off his tongue. Somehow the Ps sounded different when he said them, and the L enticingly lingered. A stabbing feeling quickly replaced the smile. I grabbed my phone; as usual, Danny picked up on the first ring.

"I have good news and bad news."

"I don't do well with bad news, Em." His words mingled with the sound of city traffic.

"I'm going to Kyle's party tonight with Sarah. I guess Conner invited her. They're friends now."

"Wait, is that the bad news? Are you bummed to spend time with me outside of your cave?" I could see his eyebrow raise through the phone.

"It's not a cave, and you love it here." Danny laughed at my childish protest.

"I do. So, what's the good news?"

"I'm wearing purple."

"Baby girl, we need to have a conversation about good news, bad news, and just facts."

Danny's teasing made me feel better about the party. Maybe I'd have fun- maybe Danny would see me out of the friend zone.

"I was planning on heading there now; what are your plans?" Danny shattered my thoughts.

"Yeah, I have to pick up Sarah, and then we'll be over too. Do you want me to pick you up?"

"Nah, I'm good. Lily is with me. I'll see you there." My heart raced when he said Lily. I knew I had no right to be jealous. Danny and I were just friends.

Danny interrupted my thoughts again. "Tonight's going to be a good night. I'll see you there."

"You look miserable," Sarah observed as she slid into the car. 

I responded with a half-smile, mainly because there was no sense in arguing. "Were you waiting out front?" 

Sarah had popped out of the house before I had even pulled into the driveway. "Yeah, Sammy is a nut tonight. What do you think of this lip gloss? Is it too pink? I don't want to look twelve, but it feels kind of fun. Right?"

"It looks fine. What's up with Sammy? He okay?" I tried to release my annoyed energy by drumming on my steering wheel.

"Yeah, Daddy-O's got it." Sarah was still working on her lips.

"Did you just say Daddy-O?" I couldn't help but smile at the bizarreness.

Sarah shot me a look. "Easy there. Tonight is going to be amazing." That was code for Sarah had a boy she was targeting. "It's going to be a Daddy-O kinda night; get onboard."

I clung to my annoyance for as long as I could, but Sarah was so ridiculous I couldn't hold out long. Instead, I convinced myself it would be fun. Danny wasn't the only boy out there. We were just friends, so I was free to meet other guys. The plan seemed obvious.

"Give me the gloss," I resolved.

Sarah smiled and handed me the tube. I swiped some on before pulling out of the driveway, more confident about the evening.

"I'm right; it's a fun color," Sarah concluded, looking at the shade on me as we both dissolved in laughter.