Chapter 11

Objectively, she knew what had just happened to her, but the wonder was still there. She hadn't even known if her body was capable of that kind of release. She felt both enervated and languid at the same time. She wanted to bask in the afterglow, but she also wanted more. She was greedy and wanted it all.

Her eyes opened and there was Seth, a Cheshire grin on his face. "Doc, that was amazing. You should see yourself. You're glowing."

She threw her arms around his neck, tears choking her, clogging her throat and making her unable to speak. Would he understand or would he think she was crazy? When he pulled her closer, she had her answer.

As time elapsed, she became aware of him pressing against her hip. She sniffed and then pulled back. "Can we...?"

That quick easy grin was back. "Oh, yeah, Doc, we definitely can. It's going to have to be a little unorthodox, though, because my arms won't support my weight."

Her smile diminished. "Should we even be doing this?"

"Oh, Marco gave me the green light when I saw him today."

"I didn't know you saw him, you didn't come to the office."

Seth shrugged. "He came by after you left." He grinned. "He gave me strict lecture about safe sex."

She felt the blush start at the tip of her breasts and go all the way to the roots of her hair. He leaned down and placed a kiss to her nose.

"It's okay, Doc. Colton brought me a fresh box of condoms three weeks ago, just a couple of days after you moved it."

"After he met me, you mean."

She was grateful and ticked off at the same time. She hadn't even thought about birth control. Or about protection from all the other bad things that could happen.

"Reach into the bedside drawer, there should be one sitting right there."

To her surprise, it was, in fact, sitting right there. She held it up.

"Well I didn't want to be struggling with boxes and stuff. I just wanted to get to the next step."

She faltered.

He must have read her expression because he reached out to take the foil packet from her trembling fingers. He opened it carefully and removed the contents. She took the packet and started to twist it in her fingers as she watched with rapt fascination.

"So you hold the tip between your fingers and then roll the rest down."

"Because the..."

"Semen," he prompted.

Could her blush get even darker? "Semen," she repeated, "has somewhere to go."

"Top marks, Doc."

"Oh, I aced sex-ed because of the physiology, I just never thought I would regret not having practiced rolling on a condom."

"The next time, you do it."

Her eyes flashed to his. "The next time?"

He grinned. "Well, I'll need a recovery period, but then yeah, we'll do it again. A whole bunch of times. Colton bought in bulk."

She closed her eyes in utter embarrassment. She was such an intensely private person so knowing that Colton and Marco were aware she was having sex was unfathomable. How could she possibly go to work tomorrow?

Actually, tomorrow was Saturday.

They had the whole weekend to themselves. She opened her eyes. "How much of a dent can me make in that box by Monday do you think?"

His hazel eyes darkened with desire. "Well, factoring time to sleep and eat, I think we can make a good go of it." He reached out to snag the hair at the back of her neck and tug her to him.

"Kiss me, you wicked woman."

This kiss was teasing and joyful. He nipped at her lower lip and she raked her teeth along his tongue. There was jousting, parrying, and general play. When Seth reached down to her, he found her slick and ready. So she felt him nudging her hips towards him. He was lying on his back, encouraging her to move over him.

Her lips broke from his, but she understood what he was asking. It was terrifying, arousing, and she needed his help to guide him to her. Discomfort was her first thought. Not pain, but definitely not pleasure. Inch by agonizing inch, she drew him into her. His teeth were gritted and she knew she wasn't doing this right. She was about to pull back when his hands reached for her hips, holding her in place.

"Breath through it, Jocelyne. I know it feel strange, but your body is built to handle this."

Tears filled her eyes. Not from the pain, as that was receding, but from his gentle and encouraging words. So she closed her eyes and took deep lungful gasps of air. The intrusion became part of her and she accepted rather than fought.

When she shifted, though, something shot through her. Her eyes snapped open and she met Seth's knowing grin. "Now comes the fun part."

His hands encouraged her hips up and then down. Then he repeated the process. There was a rhythm to this. A rhythm as old as man himself. This was how pleasure was wrought and this was how babies were made, so that meant all things were possible.

She placed her hands lightly against his chest, using it to catch the rhythm and then letting herself go. Her body was building again, as it had before. Her being was thrumming with need while her soul was ready to fly. So when he pressed his thumb to her intimately, she let go, arching her head back, basking in the sensation of intense pleasure.

In the back of her mind, she felt Seth hold her hips in place and pump into a couple more times before he stilled. Distractedly, she realized that if there hadn't been a condom between the two of them then his seed would be pumping into her.

At least one of them had a level head.

Still, understanding that it was over, she eased herself off of Seth. His eyes, which had been squeezed shut, snapped open and he held open his arms. She took him up on the invitation and lay beside him, taking the proffered warmth of his embrace.

After a minute, he shifted. "I hate to do this, but I need to get rid of the condom."

This time, she was more fascinated than embarrassed so she sat up. He was definitely smaller now that the erection was gone. She had done that. She had been a vessel of bliss for him. Together, they had found a kind of nirvana. She had never believed herself able of such delight.

She would always be grateful for this moment.

So, with great care, she removed the condom.

"Tie off the end and then you can put it in the garbage pail. I'll make sure to take it out tonight because I would hate for one of the dogs to get into it."

"They've been very quiet."

"Oh, yeah, well I think they know what's going on and know better than to disturb us."

Jocelyne giggled and then went back to his arms. She pulled the sheet over their sweat-slicked bodies because she knew they would begin cooling quickly.

She lay her head on his chest, facing away from him, and then placed her hand on his abdomen. An abdomen taut from exercise and hard work. The last month had been brutal for him and he'd been chaffing at the bit. She hoped tonight would help curb that restlessness.

"I want to thank you." Her voice was soft and her breath hitched. This was really hard, but it needed to be done.

She felt him press a kiss to her hair. "You don't need to thank me. I would say it was mutual pleasure."

Stilling her hand, she tried again. "If not for you then I would never have known."

Now he held himself still. "You said it wasn't rape."

Not now, she told herself, not after something so beautiful. She would not let Morris into this bed.

"It wasn't, but it definitely didn't feel like that."

"He hurt you." A statement, not a question.

She tensed. "I should never have brought this up."

His grip on her arm tightened. "Pretending it never happened doesn't work, Jocelyne. Did you ever get counselling?"

Pushing up from his stomach, she turned to face him. "It wasn't rape. Why would I need counselling?"

"Because you've never gotten over what happened."

How could she? She'd had to live with this day in and day out. Every few weeks it had been repeated.

"Please let me go."

His eyes were on hers, searching for something she couldn't give him.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

That cinched it and he let her go.

She all but fled the room.

If he ever got a hold on the bastard who had hurt her, he would have to kill the man. To hell with laws and morality. Anyone who inflicted that kind of misery deserved to be put in a cage or even worse. And then Seth had made it worse by trying to force her to talk about it. Jocelyne might not think it was an issue, but it was. Every time he touched her, he was afraid of hurting her. Of bringing back some ugly memory. Her pain was right below the surface, threatening to come out at the most inappropriate time.

On the other hand, he had coaxed two orgasms from her. When she let go of thought and just felt, she was capable of anything. Would she let him show her again or had his big mouth condemned him to a life of chastity?

Then the door opened and Jocelyne walked in. She was buck naked and carrying two protein shakes.

"For energy," she said simply. "Before we go for round two."

Sunday dawned early, but the sunshine from the past few days was a memory. There was a thick fog enveloping the Hills and there was a light drizzle.

Jocelyne cuddled just a little bit closer. "Tell me we don't have to get out of bed."

Seth's chest rumbled with a chuckle. "We don't have to get out of bed. Except nature is calling."

"You first," Jocelyne said. "Then you can make breakfast while I take a shower."

He groaned. "I don't know why you're bothering. We're just going to get sweaty again."

She grinned. "Probably, but I still want to act like I have some standards."

Cracking an eye, he considered her. "What do standards have to do with showers?"

Patting his chin, she rose. "You can figure it out. Now hurry up." When she rose, however, her movements were slow and fluid as she scooped up her robe. He could watch her all day, he thought. He had always known she was stunning, but now that he knew her, he realized her beauty was secondary. Her mind was a vast and wondrous place and he loved it when she let him in for those quick glimpses. There had been lots of sharing, but Seth could admit it had mostly been superficial. She still held herself apart. Inch by inch, though, he was unwrapping the layers. Peeling away the protective shield. Maybe, someday soon, she might come to trust him.

So, on that thought, he swung from the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

"I'm going to let the dogs out in the backyard," he heard her say.

"Sounds good, give me a minute and the bathroom's all yours." He offered her a grin. "Actually, since I suspect you might be sore from our...exertions...why don't you take a bath?"

Her eyes lit in pleasure. "Yes, we have been...exerting ourselves. I would love a bath."

"So I'll start breakfast when you get out. Bacon and eggs?"

"And toast with honey?"

"And toast with honey," he confirmed. "I'll be right back."

When he came out from the bathroom, she was waiting for him, grin on her face. "I plan to use up all the hot water."

"Have at it." He pulled her close and gave her a thorough kiss. He was already reacting her, even though it had only been about twenty minutes. His recovery time with her was amazing because with a word, a look or a nod, she would be ready for him. He had never been with anyone so responsive or so free with herself, now that she had shed the past. Backing her against the wall in the hallway, he pressed himself to her. "A taste?"

She pulled back and laughed. A hearty and rich caramel-coated laugh which hit him in the chest and skittered downwards. "Maybe after breakfast. A girl has got to keep up her strength." Still, just as she was stepping away, she reached down to cup him and give him a light squeeze.

And she expected him to cook? He was liable to burn the bacon and overcook the eggs while he daydreamed about what was coming next. She was inventive, he thought, as he pulled on his jeans, leaving the button undone. Anatomy had been her best class at school and he could see why.

He was stretching when the phone rang. His cellphone. His chest always tightened when it did. So he snatched it up and answered on the second ring.

"Jacobs."

"Is she there?"

"Colton?"

"Is she there?"

"Yeah, she's having a bath." Seth was now completely awake. "What's going on?"

"Are you near your computer?"

Seth moved to the desk in the corner of the room and, phone pressed to his ear, he booted up his laptop. He snagged the chair with his foot, dragging it over so he could sit. "Okay, the computer is up and running. What's up?"

"I'm sending you a newspaper clipping and a file. I'm coming over."

Seth pulled up the email and quickly scanned the contents. His heart leapt to his throat.

"Can you give me a couple of hours?"

There was a very long pause. "I'm coming over at ten."

"Yeah, we'll be ready."

"See that you are."

Seth was about to disconnect when he said, "thanks for coming to me first."

There was another pause. "I would hope you would return the favour should our situations be reversed. Ten o'clock." Then the line was disconnected and Seth was staring at a computer screen while his world crashed in around him.

She was humming a tune off-key when she came out from the bathroom. She was wearing the robe and was drying her hair with a towel. It was all so domesticated, he thought.

Once she spotted him, she gave him an open smile. "I hope you've started breakfast because I'm starving."

He could only stare.

Then the smile slipped. He was able to pinpoint the exact moment she realized the jig was up. There was guilt in those eyes. Guilt he had seen before, but had always dismissed. She was running from someone who had hurt her, he had told himself. It had never occurred to him that she had been the one doing the hurting.

"It's nice to meet you, Dr. Morin."

She stiffened. "Don't call me that."

He simply raised an eyebrow. "Don't call you by your name? Your married name?" He pulled the baggie containing her wedding rings from his pocket and dropped it on the table.

What colour was left in her face drained.

"I was getting a divorce."

"You don't need to lie to me to try to make me feel better." He gave her a level look. "Because you know I would never have gotten involved with you if I had known you were married."

"But I-"

He held up his hand. "Don't bother. Don't say anything or I might strangle you before Colton gets here."

Her hand grabbed for the lapels of her robe, tugging them closer.

"Colton's coming here?"

"Yeah, in about an hour." He pulled the keys for the truck from his pocket and placed them on the table next to a set of her clothes he had picked out. A blouse, a pair of jeans, a sweater, the running shoes and the powder blue lingerie set.

"I'm going for a walk."

She stepped forward and he stepped back.

"I don't understand." She looked truly bewildered.

"Get dressed. Then you make a choice. You run with about an hour's head start or you wait for Colton."

Her eyes were wild. "You can't be serious. I mean-"

This time he took a step forward, anger twisting his features. He pounded his fist on the table and she jumped back. "Your choice, Doctor Morin."

With that, he turned and walked out, leaving shards of his heart trailing behind him.

How long he walked, he couldn't say. He'd taken his watch off on Friday night and hadn't bothered to put it back on. When he was in Jocelyne's arms, time had no meaning. It had just been one continuous sensual journey of ecstasy.

He picked up a stick and threw it. Mac bounded after it, but Charley hung back. The cast had come off, but he still wasn't quite up to snuff. Now, his energy was starting to flag and Seth knew it was time to go back. Back to an empty house. A cabin full of memories. The greatest irony was that Jocelyne was the only woman he had ever brought to the space. There hadn't been a lot of them, but he had always gone back to their places. The cabin wasn't much to look at and he'd worried they would judge him because of it. It was funny how he'd never thought that the doctor might do that. Somehow, instinctually, he had known she would fit into his life. And she had.

She had warned him, but he hadn't listened. She had said the day would come when she would have to move on, but he'd told himself he would find a way to convince her to stay. Well, more fool him.

Would they take her back to Québec right away? There were no jurisdictions in Canada. If someone wanted you and the people who caught you didn't, then you went. Fraud in BC was definitely trumped by manslaughter in Québec, so there wouldn't be any quibbling over her.

Manslaughter.

Oh, she wouldn't call it that, but, according to the law, it was exactly what she'd done. She'd killed a person. Hastened a natural death. According to the law of the land, it was a crime. A couple of months from now it might be legal, but it hadn't been when she had administered the lethal dose.

His gut tightened. The details had been sketchy, but what had been clear was that the widower of the victim wanted no part in the whole affair. He didn't think Jocelyne should have been charged and he wanted her to be released. His pleas might carry weight with a jury, but they wouldn't free her.

If she was in custody.

Maybe she had taken the truck and run. Ray would kill him, of course, but insurance would cover the theft. Ray would get a new truck and they could put the whole thing behind them. She was smart and wily. She had disappeared once and she was more than capable of doing it again. He'd given her an hour's head start. She had enough time to get to Vancouver and then take a bus or a train. Or she could head north. No one would think to look for her in Northern BC or in the Yukon.

How long could she have lived in Mission City if he hadn't interfered? Would Colton have dug so deeply if he hadn't been concerned about Seth's well-being? Her only mistake had been saving Frank's life. He had to make sure the Crown Prosecutor knew about that. She could have run, but she had stayed and saved a man's life. It didn't erase her past crime, but it did show she wasn't, at heart, a criminal. And Seth had known that, deep in his gut.

How long before he forgave himself for his wilful blindness? She had warned him and he had cajoled. She had tried to tell him and he had cut her off.

Both dogs were by his side when he stepped into the cabin. The truck would be parked out front and Seth knew he needed to go look but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Then he glanced at the kitchen table.

There was a piece of paper weighed down by his keys. He picked it up, hoping for some kind of explanation, but there was only one word. Of course he didn't want her apology and she had probably known that, but she'd done it anyway. He was about to step away when he glanced one sandal and one hiking boot, left carelessly on the floor. They never had gotten around to cleaning up all the shoes she had let fly. Despite himself, Seth grinned. She had spunk in spades, even if she didn't know it. She would fight this and she might even win.

The grin faded. Even if she beat the rap, her life would never be the same. She had run when she should have held firm. She should have let the justice system do its job instead of leaving. Now she was never going to be a doctor again.

How would he face life if he couldn't be a cop? It was all he'd ever wanted and it was the only life he knew. He dropped to a chair. It didn't matter if he felt sympathy for her or not. She was a criminal and he had been bound to uphold the law. That was all there was to it.

Nothing else mattered.

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