Chapter 96: Veterans Day (part 6)
after jacob and charlie finished explaining to the gravity falls group abut earth and the heliverse merging togethor months ago, ford lowered his gun down and said
ford: huh, so that explains why there are so many of you walking around and not attacking anyone of us.
he said
apple; so you're not gonna shoot us?
she asked
ford: oh no, now that i understand that you're nothing like what i thought, that's a pretty good reason on not to shoot you since you all seem nice.
stan: well, i'm keeping my eye on the one with the x eye over there.
he said as he referred to vaggie, obviously
vaggie: hey, i may have an x for an eye, but 'm not deaf!!!!
she yelled as jacob calmed her down
jacob: sorry about that, she has trouble trusting guys besides me since, well, it's a long story.
he said as he and vaggie smiled at each other until charlie spoke up
charlie: um, not to interrupt but we have a timeline to save.
she said, making everyone remember what's going on
God: oh right, here you go jacob.
he said as when he snapped his fingers, a stop watch teleported in jacob's hands
steve: huh, kinda reminds me that watch the spy uses in TF2.
God: that's because this stop watch is based off of it, but instead of bringing the spy back to life, this one works exactly like a time machine of any kind.
he said, making dipper realize something
dipper: wait, if our timeline changed, how come we aren't affected by it?
he asked, making everyone wonder why is that until octavia gasped
octavia: my dad's spell. after my dad proposed my hand to jacob and used his magic to make his house bigger, he must've casted a barrier to protect everyone in it, just in case something like this might happen.
she explained as ford remembered something like this
ford: of course, it's just like the wierdness barrier back in gravity falls to prevent bill from escaping and taking over earth with his wierdness.
he said, making God scoff
God: ugh, i remember that evil dorito, he caused nothing but trouble for my children until i decided to banish him to his prison dimension, like i did to his friends as well because they comitted a lot of multiversal crimes, and i mean A LOT.
(KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK)
as everyone heard knocking coming from the front door, summer and dia looked at jacob
summer: are you expecting someone, sweetie?
jacob: no, but i'll check anyway.
he said as when he opened the door, he sees two familiar looking agents that you all know and somewhat like, agents 1 & 2
jacob: can i help you two?
agent 1: yes, we were told that something was going on in your home and we would like to ask you if there are demons in here.
he asked to jacob
jacob: really? sorry to tell you this but i haven't seen any.
he lied, not wanting to get them in trouble with nazis or citizens of this timeline as agent 2 got into jacob's face
agent 2: look, we know that they're in here mr-
she was cut off as jacob said
jacob: ok, first of all...i haven't seen any demons. second, i never seen any of you before and thirdly, can you not put your pretty face in front of my handsome face, ma'am?
he said, making agent 2 blush and her heart beat rapidly as she backed away from jacob while she giggled under her breath
agent 1: well, my name is agent 1 and this is my partner agent 2.
he said as jacob raised an eyebrow
jacob: well you're out of luck because those codenames are already taken and are used by splatoon characters, move on with better codenames or something like that.
he said, making agent 1 angry
agent 1: HEY, WE LIKE THOSE CODENAMES AND WE'RE NOT CHANGING THEM!!!!!!
he angrily said
jacob: ok, but how did you get them?
he asked
agent 1: 1, the government gave us those names and 2, we're part of an organization called DHORKS.
he said, making jacob laugh like this
jacob: OK that has to be a very stupid name, well have a nice day.
he said while laughing until agent 1 stopped the door with his foot
agent 1: look we know you have them?
he said sternly until stan walked into the scene
stan: hey, there aren't any demons here except us and his family, so beat it.
agent 1: ah stan pines, i see that they let you out of jail, despite your crimes of scamming people and other crimes that just go on.
he said, making stan glare at agent 1
stan: ok i don't know how you know about that, but you better back off.
he said while glaring at the agent
agent 2: (whispers) should we use our takagol skill on stan?
she asked while whispering until agent 1 yelled at her
agent 1: NO WE'RE NOT DOING THAT, REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!!!!??
agent 2: oh.
jacob: hey back off of her dude, she's just doing her job.
he said angrily
agent 1: YOU. STAY OUT OF IT!!!!
he yelled at jacob as agent 2 was shocked at seeing jacob stand up to her partner as she was blushing rapidly and her heart was pounding
jacob: look, even if you do have a lead on if i have demons here, then where's your proof? huh?
he asked tauntingly, making agent 1 smirk as he pulled out a cage, revealing angel dust's pig, fat nuggets.
as jacob sees fat nuggets, his eyes widen in shock that agent 1 does have a lead as he thought
jacob: (thoughts) FUCKING SHIT!!!!!
he mentally yelled as agent 1 said
agent 1: this thing appeared out of nowhere as it was searching for it's owner and it led us here. so tell us....do..you...have them?
he asked sternly and before jacob or stan spoke, angel dust entered the scene, grabbed fat nuggets and said
angel dust: FAT NUGGETS, OH DADDY MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!
he said happily, until he opened his eyes in shock, realizing he screwed up as he sees jacob having a pissed off look on his face, then turned around and sees jacob's harem, friends and family having the same pissed off looks as well
angel dust: oh (laughs nervously)
as he laughed nervously, agent 1 smirked
agent 1: gotcha.
he said menacingly and before he walked in, jacob slammed the door on his face
agent 1: (screams in pain)
while he was screaming, jacob locked the door, walked towards angel dust and slapped him across the face
angel dust: OW!!! what was that for!!??
he asked to a pissed off jacob
jacob: WHAT IN GOD'S NAME WERE YOU THINKING!!??
vaggie: YEAH, DO YOU WANT US TO GET TAKEN TO A DEATHCAMP!!!!!?????
she yelled as everyone looked at her, making her confused
vaggie: what? they said that on the history channel yesterday.
she said, making everyone understand on how she knows that as jacob looked at god's hologram and asked
jacob: ok God, how do i make this watch work?
God: just say the month, day and year of where you want to go, press that button and said button will do the rest. now i must go, ciao.
he said his goodbyes as jacob followed god's instructions to get the watch working
jacob: ok, um....January 9th, 1940.
he said the dates and as he pressed the button, nothing happened
everyone: what?!
they said in unison
verosika: why isn't anything happening?!
jacob: i don't know, who do you think i am, doc brown from ''back to the future''?!
he asked sarcastically, making verosika & her crew confused
verosika & crew: what?
they asked in unison
zack: just an old, but also iconic movie franchise about time travel and stuff like that.
he explained as old man mcgucket said
fiddleford: have you tried winding it up?
he said, making jacob look at him funny
jacob; what are you talking about, old man?
kiki: yeah, what are yoy talking about?
she and jacob asked
fiddleford: what i'm talking about is that there are instructions on the back of it saying how to start it up, say tha date and it will take you to the time period you want to go. look.
he said as when jacob turned the watch around, he sees the instructions on the back of it, meaning that mcgucket was right and that made jacob angry
jacob: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME, GOD!!!!!!
God: (in jacob's head) sorry.
he apologized
sallie: well, at least the old man helped us with our problem. what else could go wrong?
she said as soos had wide anime eyes and said
soos: um dudes, they're bringing something big to get in.
he said as he pointed at a group of agents holding a battering ram and are marching towards the house and then see agent 1 pulling out a megaphone and spoke through it
agent 1: WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED, LET THE DEMONS GO AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!!!!!
he demanded as jacob looked at denzel
jacob: denzel how many years will it be from this year to 1940?
he asked to denzel, who calculated the answer in his head and said
denzel: about 82 years.
he answered, making jacob and the group smile
jacob: good.
he said as the door broke down and before the agents rushed in, jacob winded up the watch and said
jacob: January 9th, 1940!!!!!
he yelled the date as shockwave pushed the agents out of the house, the watch floated in mid-air and spuna round rapidly while the agents outside groan in pain. but when agent 2 got up, she was shocked at what she's seeing as she growled and ran towards them as agent 1 called out
agent 1: agent 2, NO!!!!!!
he called out to agent 2, who didn't listen as she jumped into the house before it vanished in front of the agents, making them shocked and confused at what they witnessed
random agent: WE HAVE TO CALL THE GOVERNMENT!!!!
agent 1: no....we deal with this ourselves.
random agent: what, sir but with all do respe-
he was cut off as agent 1 slapped one of the agents
agent 1: I SAID WE DEAL WITH THIS OURSELVES, GOT IT!!!!!!????
agents: yes sir!!!!
they said in unison as agent 1 secretly took out a phone, dialed a number and spoke into it
agent 1: it's done, agent 2 is out of the way. and i believe that the magic the demons and jacob mcfoley used can travel though time.
???: good, i vant your team to go back and prevent these demons and traitors from changing the past back to it once was, got it?
agent 1: got it....heil hitler.
hitler: heil.
he said as he hung up, and agent 1 got in his van and drove off as the screen went dark
end of chapter, hope you liked it.
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