while ed was telling everyone some random thing to distract them from noticing zuzu & crymini bringing an unconcious & injured santa (even though they don't know it's really him), jacob noticed that the injured santa was carrying a red box and decided to find out what's in it and why he has the box later until after the party ends

after the party, we see jacob, his sisters & mom, harem & his friends (both human & demon) in front of a door as vaggie decided to speak

vaggie: ok, sweetie, what seems to be the problem?

she asked, but jacob didn't say anything, but instead he opened the door, revealing santa, who's wound is being treated by zuzu & ed as everyone's eyes widened

apple: jacob, who's this?

coco: and why does he look like some guy from the matrix movies?

they both asked as jacob sighed

jacob: to be honest, i don't know who he is. he just fell from the sky and crashed into out backyard.

he said

matt: could it be that he was skydiving?

he asked, making everyone deadpan at hearing what he said

tom & his girlfriends: really?

they asked until they hear santa waking up

santa: what happened? (then remembers) WHERE'S THE BOX!!!??

he asked while being scared until he sees jacob bring it out

jacob: you mean this? (peaks into it) what's in it?

he asked as santa tried to reach, but groaned in pain

santa: no. don't look into it, you must destroy it.

he said, shocking everyone that he wants a gift to be destroyed

everyone: WHAT!!!??

they asked in shock until tom realized something

tom: wait...who are you anyways?

he asked

santa: i'm santa.

he said his name, making the gang confused

steve: you mean, as in ''santa claus''?

santa: no, santa mcmurfy. YES!! santa claus. (groans in pain)

he groaned as he clutched onto his wound

ace: come on, you don't even look like him.

josh: yeah, from what jacob & everyone else told us about christmas and the holiday mascot, he's all fat & junk.

lucy: and that he smells like cookies.

mabel: and that he's got rosey cheeks.

they said with adorable smiles

dipper: but your cheeks are more bruised colored.

zack: and you smell like blood and that you stepped in something.

denzel: and the fact that you're not dressed in the holiday code.

he said as he fixed his glasses

tord: i agree, you look more like either a resistance soldier from terminator or someone from the matrix movies.

he said as everyone else agrees with him

santa: well, sorry to disappoint you, but i was just shot at and fell 500 feet and then crashed into the mcfoley family's backyard.

he said as he sighed, and sees jacob shocked that he knew where he is

santa: and besides, all that other stuff was made up by advertising companies. Trust me, i'm the real santa claus.

he said as he sees everyone glaring at him, trying not to believe what he's saying

(like this, and please don't ask how i got this pic)

loona & CJ: prove it.

they both said while glaring at santa

santa: (sighs in frustration) OK, look, those two are jacob mcfoley & zuzu ergon, i've been getting letters from them since they were little. when jacob was 13, he wanted a full suit of real life iron man armor, or to be specific, war machine's armor from iron man 2 since he thinks that war machine's mini gun shoulder attachment looked really cool...and last year, you wanted a video game console that's a fusion of a PS5 & an XBOX SERIES X.

he said, making jacob & his sisters shocked at hearing that he knows what jacob wanted back then, along with his harem & everyone else

santa: as for zuzu, well, back when she was 12, she wanted a gaming laptop of her own design of which she named ''Leonidas XL'' with a cooling system and red & blue light up features.

he said, also making zuzu shocked as she & jacob looked at each other in disbelief, tom dropped his flask and sees one of his girlfriends faint before he caught her and everyone else staired at santa in shock

bobby: oh my God, I GOTTA TAKE A PICTURE!!!!

santa: you can't.

he said

lucy: why not?

santa: because the world can't ever know that i exist. it's a universal law that needs to be followed.

lucy: but you're santa claus, as in the ''real'' santa.

mabel: yeah, you're the only person who know basically every letter you've ever gotten from us, even jacob & zuzu.

zuzu: yeah, and what gives. how come we never got them?

jacob: exactly what my alpha girlfriend said.

they demanded

santa: look, it's against the rules to give dangerous gifts, even magical ones too. but as for the gaming stuff, we didn't have the technology to make them, so i'm sorry.

zuzu: ok that's totally understandable.

jacob: and as for my war machine armor gift, that's a rule you have to follow? that sucks.

santa: you have no idea.

steve: ok, so you're the REAL santa, but what happened to you before you crashed here?

charlie: and what's in the box jacob said you...

she trailed off as she noticed that jacob wasn't holding it

charlie: jacob, where's the box?

she asked as jacob & santa noticed that the box is missing and santa started to freak out, but when moxxie looked behind him, he grew a worrying face as he spoke

moxxie: uh, guys?

he said as he got everyone's attention and see blitz looking into the box and started tearing up and murmeriing about..this

blitz: (murmering ''please don't take my family away'')

he continued murmering as moxxie looked at millie, knowing what to do...which is take the box away from blitz and when she did, blitz started to freak out, making loona restrain her adoptive dad

loona: JACOB!!!!

she yelled as jacob walked over to blitz and grabbed his shirt

jacob: GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!!

he yelled as he slapped the bitch out of him (deadpool reference), making blitz recover and groan

blitz: what happened?

he asked as zuzu walked up to him

zuzu: ''what happened'' was that you looked into that box and started saying, and i quote, ''please don't take my family away''. and then jacob got you out of that trance by slapping you on the face.

she explained, making blitz rub his cheek (which is where jacob slapped him)

jacob: ok, santa, what was in that box?!

he demanded as santa sighed

santa: actually it's not what's in the box, but the box itself that matters.

he said as he started a flashback

santa: it all started a few months ago, i was approched by my lead toy designer, quillgin.

jacob: wait, as in that elf from regular show? didn't he die or something.

santa: yes, but someone brought him back to life, i don't even know who. anyways, he told me he made a breakthrough on a new version of his life's work, which he said will be better than the original. the idea was simple, an empty box, that when opened, will give anyone what they desire the most, like a gift or bring a dead relative back to life.

he said as flashback santa looked at the blueprints given by quillgin

santa: and like before, the key component was dark magic.

he said as the scene showed quillgin creating the new box with the exact same way he did with the first one, then the scene changed with santa looking through a one-way window, showing a focus group family testing the new box out

santa: we then used a new focus group to test this new box out, but as i suspected, like before, it had a power over people. and it brought out the worst in them out. because of that, i ordered that this new box quillgin made to be locked away forever and any work to it be destroyed so that way it won't happen ever again.

he said as the scene showed two elves wearing hazmat suits destroying quillgin's research on the new box and burning it as one of them was using a flamethrower as quillgin tried to reach into his office, but santa pushed him to a wall

santa: and i should've know he'd become evil like all those year ago, hungry for revenge.

he said as the scene showed quillgin glare at santa before running away

(flashback end)

as santa finished his story, jacob, his family, friends & harem were stunned & shocked after listening to santa's story

jacob: oh god.

???: you said it.

as everyone turned around, they see God sitting on a chair reading a book called ''a christmas carol'' in big bold words. but this time, he was reading the book in his true form as he sees everyone stare at the celestial in shock

everyone (except santa) GOD!!!!????

they screamed in shock

god: that's right.

he said as he closed his book and got up from the chair he was sitting on

santa: God, it's been a while.

he said as god looked at him and smiled

God: the same applies to me, old friend.

he said

verosika: wait, you two know each other.

God & santa: yep, that's right.

kiki; why didn't you say that you knew santa?

she asked to god

God: you never asked.

he said as he shrugged his shoulders, and making everyone look at each other and realize that it's true that they never asked him that he knew santa or not

everyone: oh yeah, that's right/fair point/i feel like an idiot.

they all said indistinctively

end of chapter, hope ya'll liked it.