Chapter 10

If it weren't for their shadows darkening the purity of the whitened walls, I would have never noticed them leaving. My eyes try to adjust to the night as I slip off the couch and tiptoe across the carpet. Bogdan and Kelly hover near the door. I clutch my arms across my chest with a shiver.

Their red eyes flash to me without warning. I know it's in their nature to hear me, to smell me, before I say a word, but this behavior still catches me off guard. My gaze lingers on Bogdan before falling on the face of my best friend.

Kelly's fangs are elongated, his eyes a brighter red than I've ever witnessed before. They're practically glowing. It's not like I wasn't aware of what happened to him, but the weight of Kelly becoming immortal is finally sinking in. Tears sting my eyes as I watch them both stare back at me.

My best friend is gone.

Gone is my protector, the one who stuck up for me against the bullies during high school. Gone is my best friend who spent countless hours with me laughing and talking. Gone is a community musician. Gone is my hero.

Kelly brushes the bangs away from his face, a gesture he unknowingly used to do as a nervous habit. The tears hiding within the confines of my eyes slip down my cheeks, making my view of them become blurry. My chest burns with the desire to walk to Kelly and give him a hug goodbye.

But I can't.

I know I can't.

I keep my feet planted where they are and give both a nod of acceptance. This isn't what I want, but there's no other option. They can't stay, and I can't leave with them...even if that's what my heart secretly is begging me to do. They wouldn't take me if I asked to go with them, and even if they did, leaving this society behind would be a gesture I could never take back.

Kelly opens the door, and muted light spills into the apartment. Bogdan whispers something to him, and Kelly gives a clipped nod before gracefully moving into the hallway. My vampire remains at the doorway. His torso is rigid and still, and he cocks his head to the side after a few seconds, listening to something far too soft for the human ear to detect.

Then he looks at me. His red eyes are far less potent than Kelly's. He takes a few steps towards me, and I hastily wipe away the tears from my eyes.

"You cry, human?" Bogdan asks when he reaches my side.

"Yes."

He gets closer to my face, his red eyes searching my features with such a calculated concern. Having him this close to me stirs the same desire within me that I felt in the bathroom with him earlier tonight. My stomach tightens with desire, and a nervous sweat breaks out across the palms of my hands.

"It's hard to see him go," I explain after a few beats of silence. "He was my best friend, you know? I'm going to miss him."

Bogdan's quiet for a moment. "That feeling will change, eventually. All emotions are fleeting, human. The sooner you learn that, the happier you will be."

He turns to leave, and in a moment of panic, my arm shoots to grab him by the crook of the elbow. There's no way I could make Bogdan stick around if he didn't want to. His strength is powerful enough to break our couch in half if he really wanted to.

But he remains in place, staring at me with widened eyes.

I swallow hard. Is this the first time I've touched him of my own, free will? Bogdan has touched me a number of times, but each one has been cold. Impersonal. This time it's me touching him, and it feels different. I loosen my grip from his elbow, and my fingers trail up his chiseled arm.

The blood in my veins pumps into overdrive. I don't know what I'm doing, but I can't seem to stop myself. My hand slides behind Bogdan's neck. His lips part in wonderment when I stand on my tippy-toes and lean into him, kissing him without pause.

His supple lips brush against mine, and everything around me vanishes. All I can hear is the blood pounding against my ears. All I can smell is his erotic scent. And all I can taste is him, a seductive sweetness that I never knew existed.

It takes everything in me to pull away. When I do, the truth and reality of what I've just done terrifies me. Bogdan's eyes snap open, the redness in them now brighter than they were before. His nostrils flare, and I back away with a hard swallow.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. "Please. Keep him safe."

I don't wait to hear what he has to say in response, because I have a feeling whatever it is will only ruin this magical moment for me. Instead I turn away from my vampire with a hurried goodbye and scramble into the bathroom.

I lean against the back of the door and close my eyes, attempting to get my breathing under control. What on earth was I thinking? I just kissed a vampire – my vampire. Something like that could get me banned from society.

It isn't until I hear the front door close that I can find the strength to calm down. Bogdan and Kelly are gone. Even though I know Kelly is safe in this new form, I have to grapple with the harsh reality that my best friend is no longer here. He is gone now, probably forever. They both are.

The thoughts flooding my mind cause more tears to spring to my eyes - tears of confusion, tears of fear, tears of guilt, and tears of longing – all for the immortal men I don't want to live without...but have to.

____________________

The clattering of dishes stirs me awake. I squint towards the kitchen and notice Fiona's pink slippers have been replaced with her brown sandals. They scrape against the tile with purposeful footsteps. The refrigerator door opens and closes, and then the brown shoes scuffle to the sink.

I open my mouth to call out to her, but the taste of Bogdan's kiss still lingers across my tastebuds. I swallow down the taste, reveling in it for my own, private of moment of bliss. He probably hated the kiss. Who am I kidding? Of course he hated the kiss, but he indulged in it long enough for me to have that moment with him.

I shake myself out of my daze and force myself onto my feet. With a heavy yawn I trudge towards the kitchen. This isn't the time for me to have dreamy, pathetic thoughts about an immortal. This is the time for me to be here for Fiona, to be a support to her when she needs it most.

"Good morning," I say.

Fiona's hair is smoothed back into a bun, pinned to her head with precision. She's wearing her nicest pair of black pants and an off-the-shoulder shirt that shimmers when she walks. She glances over her shoulder and looks at me with a distant smile.

"Morning, Finn. I'm making oatmeal. Want a bowl?"

I scrunch my nose and slump into the nearest kitchen chair. "Oatmeal?"

Fiona lets out a laugh that doesn't sound believable. "It's brain food. I thought it'd be good to get me back into the swing of classes."

"Classes?"

It hasn't even been a full day since Fiona found out about Kelly. Hell, less than 12 hours ago she was huddled into a ball of heartache and distress over it. But now, all of a sudden, she's ready for school?

I open my mouth to object, but then I remember the way my mom acted years ago after my grandpa died. For a few hours she couldn't stop crying. After that, she just acted like nothing happened at all. I couldn't understand why, but after time had passed, she explained it was her way of dealing with the pain.

It was her way to begin the journey of healing.

Fiona sets a bowl of steaming oatmeal in front of me and smiles – a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Class is in half an hour, Finn. Eat up."

I stare at the bowl of mush and grimace. I want to ask Fiona how she's doing. I want to know if she's upset Kelly left without saying goodbye. After all, when she fell asleep last night, Kelly was still here in the apartment. It might not have been the 'human' form of Kelly, but at least he was here. She had to be hurt seeing him gone in the morning without so much as a goodbye or a note.

"They left in the middle of the night," I say.

Fiona stiffens at the sink. Then she takes a hesitant bite of oatmeal before going back to her dishes with a shrug.

"I figured they would."

"I don't think they knew how to say goodbye."

She doesn't respond.

"Listen, Fiona – "

"Stop!"

She spins around. Her face glows with a radiant shade of pink, an outward expression to showcase the anger and disgust filling her internally. But I can't ignore her eyes – her now hollow eyes brimming with sadness.

I find myself dropping my gaze to my bowl of mush.

"Kelly is gone," Fiona says with a wavering voice. "He was gone the night you two left town."

I nod, knowing right now my words aren't wanted. She sucks in a staggered breath.

"And that...that thing that was here last night? That wasn't Kelly. And it never will be. Do you understand?"

Her question sounds more like a desperate plea, one I'm not sure how to answer. I didn't know how Fiona would react to all of this, but she's talking about Kelly like he wasn't here last night. He was, though. He might not be the Kelly she remembers, but he's still Kelly. He has to be.

"That thing that was here last night," Fiona continues, a dark edge layering her tone. "Was vile. Those monsters took my boyfriend from me, Finn. So now I have to fight even harder, in Kelly's honor. He would have wanted me to."

"Are you sure about that?"

Fiona's eyes turn to slits. "Open your eyes, Finn. This revolution is happening, and it's growing by the day. By the minute. Even if you were blind to it, Kelly wanted this revolution for all man-kind. After seeing what they did to him, now I can honestly say I do too. And I will never stop fighting until we get it."

While she talks, my heart sinks lower and lower. I knew Fiona and Kelly had been a part of this anti-human revolution, but with everything that happened, I assumed it would pull her away from the revolution. Not push her towards it even more.

I stir around my oatmeal, watching as the gooey substance thickens into an inedible blob.

Is what she's saying true?

Would the old Kelly have so little understanding for the vampire population that he'd want Fiona to turn her back on him? If that's the case, what would he think of me for what I did last night with Bogdan?

...would he turn his back on me too?