You know, sometimes I feel different
Not good different
Weird different
When the world woke up in the morning
And opened their curtains
I woke up and drew mine even tighter
As if I was afraid of too much light

They say the morning light
Brings hope for a better day
And I used to block out hope
By drawing the curtains of my mind
To filter out the light, the hope
To filter out happiness
Letting only a little slip in
As if too much happiness
Would scald me
Like the scorching summer sun

Then when you came in
You were like the winter sunlight
Warm, pleasant, enjoyable
And I drew up the curtains again
Afraid of being happy even for a while

But you aren't just the sunlight
You are the wind
That pries apart the curtains
To take a peek at me
The real me, fragile and vulnerable
And day by day I let you
I'd get up and draw the curtains slightly
To let you enter
Into my room, my soul
And steadily flying in, bringing in hope

And day by day
I opened the curtains wider
And threw open the window panes
Letting the light and the wind
Flood me everyday
Basking in the effervescent warmth

But as I said
Too much happiness can scald me
And life smiled from afar
Not a happy smile
But a grin that gave a premonition
Of some bad things waiting to happen
And I ignored that signal
Because I was so busy drowning
In your mellow warmth
That I was ignoring the summer coming
Bringing harsh sunlight

I used to open the curtains for you
And the storms of the world
Would leave my room ravaged
And then you had to come in
Wrap me in your peaceful presence
And heal me over again
Piece by piece

It's so not right
That the world leaves me broken
And you have to mend me
Everyday every moment

I don't like being a China doll
Living in a glass house
So vulnerable, so breakable
But I don't know how to mend myself
Because I can't trust hope
I don't know if happiness exists

But then you're the one source of hope
A belief that sometimes happiness exists  
And it can be a person
The hope that makes me
Open the curtains of my room everyday

Cause I know the storms will be there
The storms will push in
But at the end of it all
There will you sunlight and hope
A peaceful presence waiting for me
You waiting for me at the end of a long day  
And I guess that's enough
That's really enough for me to hold on
For one more day
One more moment

🖤🖤🖤