The tempter confronted me for the first time. I could not speak. I could not cry. I could not even comprehend. He promised me the philosopher's stone its liquid pride. He made promises of knowledge and immortality. He provided me with things I never see or touch.

(You are a broken relic, a pathetic exuse of a human. It's your fault you constantly push everyone who tries to help you. The clock is ticking. I know you want it very much. You should be honest from the start. Stop this pity party and man up. You must atone for your sins and redeem yourself Fix your mistakes and take my gift.)

[Blessed is the person who resists temptation, for they shall wear a crown in front of Lord's Throne. Blessed is the person who weeps everynight because of his or her sins, for they shall be forgiven in His eternal kingdom. Blessed is the person who struggles against insanity, for they shall eat the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Life.]

He taught me many things. He taught me that this world is nothing more than a sadistic plaything for the sake of entertaining a higher power. The flame burns within each and every one of us--a desire to be free from its grasp. In the end we when there is no gods or godesses, we will beg in front of Death's mighty wings. And we are doomed to repeat the same mistakes again and again in an infinite loophole.

(Sweet dreams are made of these, youngling. I will never go away until you decide, for the seed has already been planted in your heart. This gambit cannot be uncanceled no matter what card you put on the table. Really, your persistence is disgusting. But worry not, sooner or later I will pull the linchpin.)

[Cursed is the person who tears soul from flesh, for they shall be burned in an eternal damnation. Cursed is the person who spreads lies and hatred, for they shall rot with their own inner demons in a painful way. Cursed is the person who refuses to bow down to his or her savior, for they shall not be spared when the sentence is carried out.]

[Banyuwangi, 03/06/18]