I. Waning Moon

             Cold-blooded
         Venomous tongue
      Ice burns in my veins
       As my wings bloom
         Towards the sky
            Forevermore

What kind of a sick world
   Do you force me into?
    A body for a prison
In gravity's gargantuan lure.

Nay. It's all a just fan(tasy).        The line breaks.           Right now.     The wor(l)ds splinter apart.   O n e.     B y     o n e.                                 WHY?
J          e r c h a n c e                           f     I want to sleep
  u      p         e            t o d-r-e-a-m    ou   But I can't
   s   a           l             u                         c     I want to (die)
     t      m   (p)      e      brutu?        s  uk   But how?

I forgot how to sleep. I forgot how much I wanted to love and be loved by another. I am … nothing?

I am an outsider? NO! I AM
NOT -- worthy of guiding and giving wisdom and joy?
A(N) -- little brat who isn't grateful for his/her gifts?
OUT -- hahahahahahahahahahahahaha. pathetic.
SIDE(R!) -- with whom? Tell me. Tell me. Tell me!

II. Coronal Ring

Hey, hey, sing this elegy for me and me alone!
Flawed, wronged, alienated, feeling too much
I am but a phoenix's ashes in a frozen tundra
My soul miss the balmy touch of redemption

[Springbreeze, Springbreeze, I call upon thy might
In thy jaw my heartstrings weave their last breath
Milky field of pearls and a dome filled with stars
Soon thy fairest being shall sprung unto existence]

Hey, hey, leaves from the golden vine, I am thee!
We both seek to embrace the sea of redemption
Yet our sacrifices remain unsung in the oblivion
Because in time, all things will be worth the price

[Oh, Star-Kindler, would thou light my path?
In the depths of night let my soul be free
For this destiny I will bid thou all farewell
And pray that you'll remember me hereafter]

Hey, hey, don't weep, sing this epitaph for me!
You, my reader, are my most beloved legacy
Even if someday you forget to remember me
My poems will sing the loudest of your deeds

III. Eve of Light

O Hope! My heartstrings trust thee with all I have
Sacred is that veritable picture, never disintegrating
O Hope! Spare me my strength I know I didn't have
If I am to pursue thy heavenly tune, never let me go

How sounding this is!
What a pure sound it hoists up
What darkens as it ringing
Is veritable as it sounds

Why does it ring? Why does it come?
I ask for advice, O magnificient sound!
It's coming! Bigger! More confusing!
Domineering as it torches the sky

A hope, it hopes, I hope too
It bestows waves beyond the stars
It dissolves the ashen clouds
And they say it's not for me

O Hope! In another time we would be one
In another place we would be immortalized
O Hope! Does thy light guide or blind me?
It wasn't supposed to lead me into these.

[Banyuwangi, 29/07/19]