you love me with your eyes closed. you do not see the mess, the broken strings, the soft, suppressed sadness. you do not look for the flaws or the harsh mind, that pities and despises itself with every breath.

you love me with your ears covered. you do not hear my sobs nor the poison that drips so easy from my mouth. you don't listen to the nails that rake across my skin, the tap of anxious feet, the swallow when i am about to ask someone to help me.

you love me with your hands gloved. you do not feel for those cracks that have damaged my lips. you do not feel for those bruises that stain my chest, you can't feel the shiver that i can't stop myself from performing.

you love me, i know you love me. it's there, in your words, your smile, even when you remain silent. you love quietly, without anger or resentment. your soul is something so soft that i am afraid to darken it with mine. even when i give you nothing, when i keep trying to deny you, you smile, and softly, you continue to love me.

you cannot know how shattered i am. the countless times i fell to pieces, the parts of me that got lost somewhere along this winding road, sinking into the mud. there is no beauty in my eyes. there is no comfort in my hold.

you do not know how many nights that i should have spent sleeping but instead dreamed of you. you do not know how hard i try to stop you from giving me every fractured inch of your soul.

i thought it was less dangerous to let a dreaming sleepwalker like you to keep on imagining, than wake you up and marr your rose-tinted glasses.

but i did not consider the danger of falling asleep myself.