i close my eyes and try to breathe.
i'm drowning in a sea
that's made of bedsheets
and chipped-glass tea.
feet planted flat on
the floor, hands closed,
nails pressing into palms,
teeth gritted tight.
it's as though there are
voices in my head:
a crowd that screams
when i feel like i'm crumbling.
i'm sticking myself together
and yet keep falling apart.
i'm alone in the dark.
i'm alone in this space behind
my eyelids, between my teeth.
i'm drowning in this body,
in this loud mind,
people far away and out of reach.
i cannot speak.
i cannot see.

will someone drag me out again please?