(thank halsey and haikyuu!! for helping me write this chapter! enjoy!)

Brendon: So, my boyfri- wait, is he my boyfriend?

Camera Man: Huh?

Brendon: [panicking] I don't think Dallon and I have even established a title yet!

Camera Man: Uh, does it matt-?

Brendon: Do I call him my 'boyfriend' or 'the guy I'm seeing'?

Camera Man: Can you just tell the story already?

Brendon: I am in the middle of a f**king relationship crisis right now!

Camera Man: [sighs] Just roll the clip...

—

"Um, Daichi and Suga are obviously banging."

"While I respect your opinion Ashley, have you considered Oikawa and Suga?"

"Seriously?! Daichi and Suga are basically the  parents of the team! How dare you say Oikawa and Suga?!"

Dallon watches in amusement as Ashley and Brendon argue over some anime they have been binge watching recently. While he himself has never been a huge fan of anime, he had to admit that their conversation sounds pretty interesting.

He walks over and wraps an arm around Brendon's shoulder, "so, what are you two arguing about this time?"

Brendon, for once in his life, pushes off Dallon's arm and shoos him away. Dallon gapes at the action, because Brendon has never rejected him before. He always wants him to touch him in some way.

"Babe, you're hot and all, but us intellectuals are having a conversation right now," Brendon replies.

Dallon huffs, "last night you asked me if the moon was made out of cheese."

Ashley snorts and Brendon glares at her before turning to Dallon and smacking his peck.

"It looks like rotten cheese, okay?!"

Dallon rubs his bruising peck while Ashley cackles behind them.

—

Dallon: Kids, the moon is made out of rocks, not cheese. Please do not harass NASA for a trip to the moon just so you can try and eat it. That's how Brendon got the government spying on him.

—

Ryan whistles and picks up the ringing phone, "Pete's Treats, Ryan speaking."

An older woman's gentle voice rang through the other line, "uh, yes. Do you have apple pie?"

Ryan furrows eyebrows. He was not too sure if they do. It doesn't help that Pete likes to randomly change the menu with letting anyone know.

"I actually do not know ma'am. Let me ask!"

Ryan puts the phone down and turns to the employee next to him, "hey Dallon, are we serving apple pie?"

Dallon furrows his eyebrows, "I'm pretty sure we're not."

The woman on the other line's voice rings out loudly, causing both men to jump from their seats in shock.

"That's too bad! 'Cause mama wants her apple pie!"

Dallon's eyes widen and his face turns red in a split second while Ryan remains confused. Quickly, the taller man jumps out of the stool and makes a beeline for the door. He attempts to lock it, but is too late when the door slaps in his face.

Ryan jumps and covers his mouth to hold back his laughter while Dallon is on the floor and clutching his—already bruised—nose in pain.

A short woman, shockingly shorter than Ashley, stands like she is six feet tall. Her hair is brown with red color tips and long bangs that frame her face. She's wearing ripped jeans and a vintage band tee under her leather jacket. They are complete with a pair of spiked, black boots. To top it all off, the woman is wearing the most obnoxious jewelry known to mankind.

When Ryan examines her face and meets annoying, familiar blue eyes, he puts the pieces together. His eyes widen and his mouth hangs open.

—

Ryan: That is Dallon's mother?

Dallon: [face red from embarrassment, sighs, mumbles] That is my mother...

Lucille: Hello sweetheart! My name is Lucille, but you can call me Hot Mama. [winks at the camera man]

Dallon: [from outside] Oh my god, shUT UP MA!

—

Ryan places the bag of peas against Dallon's nose while gently cradling the back of his head.

"So, that's your mom?"

Dallon glares and flips him off. Ryan just giggles and pinches the back of his neck in revenge. Dallon winces and pouts at him.

"Yup, that's her..." he says. His face burns bright red, "why is she here? God, can't she go one day without trying to torture me."

Ryan snorts, "stop feeling sorry for yourself, and actually feel sorry me! I basically have to deal with two Dallons today!"

Dallon punches him in the stomach.

—

Lucille: Well, what can I say? I'm Dallon's hot mother. [grins] Of course, everyone just thinks I'm his smoking hot sister. [flips hair] Not my fault that I'm still rocking it at forty two.

Camera Man: [staring, smirking] Nice!

Dallon: [growls, slaps the back of Camera Man's head] If you value your d**k, I suggest you shut the f**ck up before I **** ** ** *** **** *****, *** **** **** **** ** **** ** **** *** **** ** *** ** *****.

Camera Man: [swallows hard] Y-Yes sir...

—

Dallon trudges out of the back office and glares at the sight in front of him.

His mother is chattering away with Ashley and Josh. She is showing them her rose tattoo on her forearm. The two employees stare at it in fascination and excitement.

"That is freaking amazing! Look at the details to it!" Ashley says.

Lucille smirks, "you think that's cool? I'll show you my favorite one!"

The older woman turns around and reaches for the bottom of her shirt. Dallon's eyes widen and he quickly jumps in front of his mother to cover her.

"Okay, that's enough! Get back to work before Pete gets back from Patrick's and whines about us slacking off again."

The two employees pout, but nod and walk off. Dallon sighs in frustration, turns around, crosses his arms, and glares at his mother. She just grins back up at him innocently.

"I'm just trying to get to know your friends!" She says.

Dallon huffs, "they are not my friends. They are my coworkers."

Ashley gasps in mock hurt from somewhere out on the floor, but Dallon ignores her. Lucille snorts and punches Dallon's arm playfully. Her son grabs his arm as pain shoots up from the hit.

"Aww Dally, still have that stick up your a**, huh?" She says.

Dallon groans and rubs his face, "just explain why you're here, then leave so I can get back to work."

Lucille pouts, "am I not allowed to see my favorite son?"

"I'm your only son."

"See! You won your way by default! You're welcome."

Dallon's eye twitches.

—

Dallon: If this is how Ryan feels about me, I apologize.

Ryan: [snorts] Yeah, he's not actually sorry.

—

"Uh-huh, what's the real reason?"

Lucille sighs and bites her lip. Her eyes were shining with a look that Dallon was too familiar with. He narrows his eyes back at her and shakes his head.

"No way."

His mom whines, "but Dallon! He's out for good this time! No coming back! We need you, bud!"

Dallon just shakes his head even more, "I told you that I would never even touch the strings again. What makes you think I would actually go through with this?"

"Because you love your mother?"

Dallon gives her an unimpressed look, "uh-huh."

—

Lucille: [sighs, twirls hair around finger] One of the bad traits that my Apple Pie gets from me. While he is blessed with my amazing, good looks and charm, he is also cursed with my stubbornness. Oh! Also, back pimples.

—

While watching Dallon being tortured by his mother is very entertaining, Ryan forces himself to get back to work on his story.

He chews at the eraser of his pencil as he stares at the blank notebook sheet. The sheet stares back at Ryan and mocks him and his frozen brain. Ryan sighs and chews his eraser harder.

"Do you eat erasers?"

Ryan jumps and turns to his right. Lucille is sitting, a little too close for his liking, and staring at him in fascination. He looks at her, then down at the pencil in his mouth, the back at her.

He takes the pencil out and spits out the shavings into the trash can behind him.

Lucille just sits patiently while he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and adjusts himself to be more comfortable. Ryan finally looks at her when he's settled.

"No. I just have a bad chewing problem when I have writer's block," Ryan replies.

Lucille grins, "get laid! That usually draws inspiration!" She pause. "Well, it usually does for me anyway."

Ryan grimaces at the mental image.

He shakes his head then smiles politely, "thanks, but I'm not really interested in that right now."

Lucille shrugs, "no pressure. What about trying a new setting?"

"Huh?"

Lucille scoots closer to him, "listen, I'm a writer too! My inspiration for writing comes from either getting laid, reading, or trying a new setting!"

Ryan frowns, "a new setting? Like, a simple walk in the park?"

"Sure, you can be basic, or you can take a spontaneous trip for a little bit of inspiration!"

Ryan's eyes widen, "wh-what?! A spontaneous trip?! Th-That-!"

Lucille holds her hand up, which shuts Ryan up immediately, and chuckles, "just a thought kid, calm down. Yet, from my experience with traveling across the country, a new scenery gets the wheels turning like never before."

Ryan bites his lip. He lets the thought sink in.

"A-A good idea, but I don't think it's for me..."

Lucille just shrugs, "suit yourself. Have fun reading Shakespeare then!"

She walks off, leaving Ryan to stare at his blank notebook with more thoughts littering his mind.

—

Ashley: Dallon's mom is so f**king cool!

Josh: [nods] She showed us how to dumpster dive!

Ashley: [holds up a dirty sweater] I got Taylor a new sweater!

Josh: [holds up a raccoon] And I got Tyler and I a cat! I'm naming him Ronald!

Ronald the Raccoon: [growls]

—

Dallon glares as his mother spins around in the stool next to his seat. He sighs, and rubs his face in frustration as she kicks her legs in the air.

"Why? Why are you like this?" He groans.

Lucille continues spinning, "you mean a joyful spirit and wonderful human being? Beats me kiddo. Definitely didn't come from your Nana, she was a real b**ch."

"May she Rest In Peace."

"Rotting in the ground for sure."

Dallon snickers, "don't speak ill of the dead, Ma."

"Doesn't stop you from trashing your father."

"Hey! Pops had it coming! Left for milk and never came back!"

The mother and son burst out laughing at that. Lucille pats her son's arm and rests her head in his shoulder. Dallon rests his head on top of her's. Their hold each others' hands and their fingers intertwine. Dallon hums in content as the duo watch customers come in and out.

"I'm still not doing it."

Lucille sighs, "I know. Was worth a shot though. You have some real talent, Apple Pie."

"Thanks, Ma. Yet, I don't think I have the guts."

"Bullsh**. You're my son. You automatically have more guts by association."

Dallon snorts at the comment, "gee, good to know my courage comes from inside me and nothing else."

"Exactly, my little Apple Pie."

Dallon kisses the top of his mother's head before leaning over to her ear. Lucille leans up so she can hear him loud and clear.

"I'll give you some of my weed if you leave," Dallon whispers.

Lucille jumps out of the stool and fixes her clothes. She turns to her son and grins at him.

"While I love seeing you and everything honey, mamma's gotta go! She has a few errands and men waiting for her!"

Dallon grimaces at the sentence. Lucille just smirks at him.

"Ciao, sweetie!"

Dallon just snorts, "in the flower pot, right?"

"You know me too well, my little Apple Pie."

—

Lucille: [shrugs] Free weed is free weed. I'll ask Dallon again another day.

—

The end of the day has come and the shop has closed down. Everyone has grabbed their belongings and make their way to the exit.

Everyone except Ryan.

Ryan is sitting at one of the booths and scrolling on his laptop. Josh walks over to him and smiles at him.

"Are you coming, Ry?"

Ryan looks up and smiles back at his coworker, "you all go ahead, I'm going to lock up. I just need to finish reading this before I leave."

Josh nods and waves at him, then heads out to meet Tyler at his car. Ryan sighs as he watches his coworker skip out happily and jump into his fiancé's arms. He smiles at them fondly and chuckles.

Ryan tears his eyes away from the couple and back to the screen. He bites his lip as he clicks on a link.

The camera man from outside zooms in on the screen, and captures the page Ryan is checking out.

"One way trips to New York City."

(of course, this is NOT dallon's real mother. the thought of using anyone's real parents/siblings makes me uncomfortable. so, dallon just has a crazy and lovable fiction mom! hope you enjoyed!)