Chapter Forty Three
GEORGINA
The scene I find when I enter the lab melts my heart. Madison and Levy are both in the small bed, cuddled against one another. Madison's head is on Levy's shoulder, sleeping between his comforting arms. They look lovely, they have always been like siblings to each other and making sure to keep each other safe no matter what.
"How is she?" I ask with my eyes on her through the glass. She looks so small.
"Far from good," replies Wen. My eyes tear away from Madison to him. "Her liver has worsened to the point where she vomited blood this morning. Her kidneys aren't any better, and she has tachycardia..." he shows me her organs on the screen. All of them are flagged with red. Some of them are more urgent than others.
"A transplant," I say quickly and he raises a brow. "A transplant would give her more time."
"A transplant of what, Georgina? Of a body?" he asks, scrutinizing my words. I know. "We don't even know what's wrong with her."
"Her liver needs immediate attention," I reply quickly and he lets out a laugh shaking his head.
"Then what Gina? Her heart? Her kidneys? Her lungs?" he asks making me realize that what I am saying is foolish.
"There must be something we can do," I say, my eyes filling with tears as I think. He sighs.
"I think the best thing you can do now is to prepare for what is imminent." The thing I really didn't want to hear comes out from his mouth. I break instantly into a million pieces.
"Why are you saying that? That can't be true... there... there are thousands of things we could try, she's strong..." I try to put myself back together. "We can't give up."
"We are just going to make it worse if we keep going blindly," he replies. "We are hurting her more than we are helping, Georgina."
"But..."
"The only thing we can do is to ease her pain and get her as comfortable as we can during the time she has left," he says and I shake my head. I begin to hyperventilate at the same time I am shivering.
"No, I need to do something Wen, she's my child," I cry and that makes him pull me in a hug I never thought I would receive from him and less after what I did, but I need it. I need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay even when it is not, to stop the pain and guilt in my chest, to help me to survive this. I am going through so much stuff at the same time; raising a child on my own without the help I had like I did with Madison, the hours of studying to find out what's going on with my daughter, her health, the war against the labs and the divorce. I lost the control of my life in a wink and taking it again would cost more work than what I could ever imagined.
The alarm of the control panel begins to sound with intermittent beeps again and again. Wen's head whips towards the screen and releases me. The screen is bathed in red with a flashing WARNING sign. I turn to look directly at Madison who coughs inclined over her legs, spitting what seems to be more blood over the bed sheets.
I stay frozen looking at the terrible image in front of me while Wen analyzes the situation before calling for Sean. They both sweep into the room. Levy is awake and on his feet, his hand on Madison's back without knowing what to do or say, just like me.
I force myself to walk and the glass opens when the sensor detects me letting me in. "Gina," says Levy with relief over Madison's terrible coughs. I run straight to my daughter.
"I am right here Maddie," I say the best I can, holding her hand which immediately grips mine. All while she keeps coughing..
"What's going on?!" says Levy paled right before Sean comes in pushing the respirator car. The bracelet on Madison's wrist continues beeping scandalously without stopping to announce that something is clearly not right.
"Fluid on one lung and the other doesn't seem to be helping," explains Wen now with his gloves on and pulls Madison carefully to rest her against the inclined bed. "Try to calm down," he tells her calmly, putting the little tube on her nose to connect her to the respirator. "Control your breathing."
"I can't," she cries with effort.
"You couldn't talk or cry if you couldn't," he makes sure to tell her before Sean brings the mask closer to anesthetize her but when she sees it she shakes her head crying and trying to move away.
"No, I don't want to fall asleep, make them stop please," she begs to me.
A lump forms in my throat. It's not the best way, she could not wake up, but if they don't take out the fluid of that lung she wouldn't have the odds in her favor either.
"You are going to be fine," I say with my voice quaking and she cries like a little girl refusing but her strength is not enough against Wen who gets to put her the mask and leaves her unconscious in less than five seconds making her hand to finally let go of mine.
MADISON
I wake up with my mother's head deeply asleep next to me.Her hand grips mine like a vice, as if I would otherwise disappear at any moment.
My head hurts so much along with my right side. Not surprising, since I am literally looked up to a tube that connects me to a small machine on the floor that must contain the fluid that cause the terrible pain.
As soon as my mother wakes up, her eyes watered while forcing me a smile. She is full of pity and there's no way she can hide it. The make-up on her cheeks show the paths her tears left before drying out. She's suffering, probably even more than I am. We are giving Wen everything he wants, and more.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"Good," I lie the best I can making her smile.
"You were never good at lying," she says passing her hand over mine with love while she sees them together regretting something. I can tell by the tears that begin their way to the floor.
"Mom... don't do that," I say and she shuts her eyes like that way she won't let the tears out.
"I am not doing anything," she says, her voice breaking.
"It's not your fault," I defend her and that just get her to look away from me starting to cry. I wish I had the strength I need to throw myself right into her arms to comfort her for the guilt that is finishing her. "It was Wen."
The words leave my mouth like the steam from a pressure cooker. When they do, I wish I didn't let them out. "What?" She stares at me.
"What happened in Seattle?" I say trying to erase my words and she shakes her head.
"What did Wen do?" she insists and in my mind I can see the proud smile of Wen for getting exactly what he expected. I can almost hear his applause.
For the first time I order my body to go into a state of crisis, unleashing anything of the thousand symptoms I have experienced: fever, vomit, tachycardia, faints, anything. Anything that could activate the bracelet to let them know something is wrong and make her forget what I said. Something that could free me from this conversation that would not bring anything good for us. But it is useless, because my stupid body refuses to obey.
"Madison..." she pressures when I say nothing and avoid eye contact.
"Forget it," I say pressing my stomach like it hurts making a grimace at the same time, all while I look at her from the corner of my eye. "It hurts." I fake the best I can and she leans back on the chair's back crossing her arms.
"The bracelet is not making any noise," she says, refusing to believe me and I wrinkle my face a little more to give it a more realistic effect.
"Maybe it ran out of battery," I say forcing my voice trying to cheat on her and she just raises an eyebrow from her place.
"Madison if you don't tell me what's going on, I am going to make him tell me and he is going to lie. What happened with Wen?" she asks again, all authoritarian-like.I leave my act aside and pout like a little girl.
"He would tell you the truth as long as it distracts you... that's what he wants," I mumble looking away but still seeing her with a confused frown through the mirror.
"Distract me from what?" she asks making a gesture for me to reply to her talking through the mirror, from where she clearly knows I am seeing her. Stupid room without privacy.
"From the case," I say closing my eyes with a grimace for letting the truth get out of my mouth. Then there's silence. She looks at the bed lost in her thoughts trying to figure it out on her own. I turn to look at her in person and when she finally gets it she looks at me and I don't really know what to think of her look. Part of her seems like she wants to cry and the other shouts with the anger inside her.
"Madison, what did you do?" she emphasizes each of the words to make sure I get them well but even that way I understand nothing. What did I do?
"I... didn't," she raises her hand as soon as I try to reply.
"You are going to tell me exactly everything what happened. Did you understand?" she orders with her eyes furiously boring into mine. I look at her like if I didn't know her and the truth is--I don't. I had never seen her this way before, so...furious and apparently so upset at the same time.
"Every-thing," she breaks down the word when I can only look at her, perplexed.
"That is what he wants. Can't you understand?" I say making my voice break and that's all she takes before she stands up, throwing the chair to the floor. I jump at the noise that almost makes my head explode.
"How can I understand something that you are not even telling me? I don't give a damn about what he wants Madison!" she shouts making me close my eyes for the pain it sends to my head. Now the bracelet decides to beep. She quickly takes my wrist and just when I think she's going to check what's wrong, she takes it with both hands. She pulls it out to the sides throwing it to the floor. It hits and cracks one of the mirrors.
I look at her impressed without knowing what to do or say while she begins to cry out of desperation while looking at me. "Talk to me please," she begs me sitting down on the edge of my bed and taking my hand again. I gulp, still unsure, but force myself to speak with no other option.
"He did this, he made me sick," I reply and she looks at the ceiling closing his eyes like she expected it.
"How?" she says without looking at me and I bite my lip even though she can't see me, "Madison..." she forces me to continue.
"When he found us in LA," I begin, remembering it, "he injected a blue liquid in my neck." She gets her eyes back to mine insisting for me to keep talking. "He said that way he would end up with all this." Saying it is really hard and not for the fact that I found it hard to talk but for what it really implies. Despite of all what I have been through till now, saying it out loud makes me feel it so real and I don't know what to think. "He said you wouldn't be able to track it and that it was going to make me fail like an old car till there was nothing left of me." I repeat his words with my eyes full of tears for the incredulous look on my mother's eyes.
"He gave you Ixtradumixin?!" she nearly shouts.
"I didn't have the time to ask him when he was putting the damn thing on my neck," I reply.
"Don't use your stupid sarcasm on me now, Madison," she growls. I gulp. "You let him do that? Madison, that thing is a deadly serum! There's no cure for that! How could you let him?!"
"How could I? What was I supposed to do, mom? They had a gun and they had Levy and Dylan and Alison." The tears begin to flow one after the other from anger and desperation. She shakes her head with her eyes closed, like it hurt her to see or even hear me.
"You were supposed to be smart," she sighs. Those words hurt like someone stab me with a knife in my head. "You need to learn how to take care of yourself before wanting to save the world! How could you be so stupid?" I look at her without knowing what else to say just letting the tears flow. "Why didn't you say anything?"
"Because that is what he wants!" I reply tired for having to repeat it so many times. "He wants to take your attention away from the labs. Can't you just get it?"
"Of course he is going to distract me Madison! You are my daughter! I need to take care of you!" she says desperately.
"You need to take care of me? You have never taken care of me." I let out the words. "You say you want to but that's not true. You aren't doing all this for me, or the kids--you are doing it for yourself. And you are so scared of failing that you make others do it for you! You used me to take Alison away! I didn't even know what I wanted to do, I was so lost. You didn't care, you didn't bother to tell me that I was going to become Wen's property if I helped you because you knew I would have refused right then. I am done playing this shit. I am done being everyone's puppet. And you are right... I better stop thinking of others before I think of myself. Thanks for being the example on how to do it."
"You don't get to blame it all on me," she barks, getting closer to me. "I did my best trying to protect you from this part of your life. I may have not gave you the life you would've wanted but at least I kept you safe and alive, that's all I cared about. I am sorry I couldn't protect you from this, for thinking you wanted to fix this mess. If I knew it would have ended up this way, believe me, I would have never ask you to do that! I would never ask you to do anything I think you couldn't handle. If I did, I am sorry for expecting that much of you," she talks with disgust, anger and pain at the same time and I feel like I have lost every human sense of me, like I am not longer capable of feeling anything. I look at her hurt eyes, thinking of what I want to say. Instead, a totally different thought leaves my mouth.
"It's incredible you know? I would've never thought you'll ended up being just like him," I reply right before her hand hits my face. I certainly didn't see that coming. She regrets it the second her hand touches my face. It is the first time in my whole life that she has dared to do that and just like my face hurts right now her heart must ache the same way.
"I care about you, way too much, even if you can't believe it. That's why he uses you against me," she explains the best she can while I just look at her, unable to recognize the person I thought I knew. "I am just so mad at the fact that you gave him the opportunity to do so. God, I don't even know who are you anymore, but I can assure you I am nothing like that monster," she says crying before rushing out the room.
EDITED BY: JadeFoliage
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-MF. Hernandez
Next chapter: March 29th, 2019.
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