XII. Insane tea party club

Today they had decided to order tteokbokki, which meant that they also had to order gimbap as well. At the insistence of Hyenomi, they got both tuna mayo gimbap and another type which was made entirely out of shredded egg omelet, since protein was, in his words, "the key point."

"Wahhh this is so good," Jjim said before anyone had even chewed their first bite, fretfully closing his eyes as if the excellent taste was too much for him to handle. Since his mouth was full, it sounded a bit like he said "NYAHH" instead.

Hyeonmi, who had stuffed an egg gimbap into his mouth, saw this and hit Skip on the arm repeatedly while motioning at Jjim. "He hasn't even tasted it," he said, simultaneously provoked and incredulous, his hand in front of his mouth in case the egg gimbap tried to escape.

"Yo we got some tteokbokkisss," replied Skip, half to himself. He was still unwrapping a pair of chopsticks.

Deulgi, who had started poking around in the tteokbokki, pulled out a fish cake and stared at it intensely without making any motion to actually put it in his mouth. "Whooooooaaaa.. oh my god.. this is so delicious," he said, exaggerating his facial expression so it appeared he had experienced something so divine, it caused him physical pain.

Jjim sighed desolately. "You guys don't appreciate my excellent food sense."

"I really can't live without this," said Daisy, his voice also muffled by simultaneous chewing. "Whichever Korean invented this, they need the Nobel peace prize."

"This causes world peace?" said Skip. "We should order it more often."

"I like the cheese one with the tuna gimbap," announced Deulgi, who had set off to try various combinations of tteokbokki with gimbap, since the sauce slightly spicer than usual.

"Bro, did you order the spicy one?" Hyeonmi asked Jjim, kicking his leg under the table. Jjim, who was busy trying to stack rice cakes and fish cakes by skewering them on a single chopstick, responded by trying to stomp on his foot.

"NO, it's supposed to be the normal flavor," said Jjim. "Original."

"OG SPICE," said Skip, again to nobody in particular, with what he presumably thought was an American accent.

"Bro, that your stage name?" snorted Daisy.

"YO IT'S YA OG SPICE," announced Skip, for some reason pointing to his chopstickful of glass noodles as if he was eating 24 karat gold chains instead.

Pideulgi made the bad decision to drink water precisely as this was happening, since as soon as Skip gestured to the noodles, he nearly choked. Quaking with suppressed mirth, he made a sound a bit like a whining dog, which Hyenomi, who was in his usual seat across from him, also thought was hilarious.

Sunny had started reading off of his phone. "Do you think eating tteokbokki ''strengthens bonds of fraternity between peoples"'?" he asked.

"Oh yeah," said Daisy, clutching his heart with an expression that was both peaceful and tortured. "I'm about to explode with fraternity." He started to scoot his chair closer to Sunny, who looked disgusted.

"I think this sun is cold and distant," said Skip, "The sun is in another galaxy."

"Here, take my fraternity," demanded Hyeonmi, who had picked off the cheese from the top of the cheese tteokbokki, put it on a tuna gimbap, and was now holding it in front of Delugi's face. He ate it in one bite, attempting to say "thanks bro", though it sounded more like a muted assortment of random consonants.

Simultaneously both of them clutched their chests, Pideulgi chewing in a way that could only be described as tragic. "Ahhhh, the fraternity," groaned Hyeonmi.

"So much fraternity," wailed Pideulgi, somehow managing to look exactly like those theater masks. Through fake tears, he reached over and just started patting Hyeonmi's face.

"That answers that question," said Skip. "Why, are you looking up if we can nominate tteokbokki for a Nobel prize?"

"Correct," said Daisy, who had been looking over Sunny's shoulder. "Apparently the World Food Organization won the Nobel prize two years ago."

"In that case," remarked Skip. "I think we should make a foundation to give tteokbokki to people."

"I think they'd love it," said Jjim, who was digging through the tteokbokki sauce to find another fishcake.

"You'd love anything if it was free," pointed out Sunny.

"WoTtoGi," said Pideulgi, reaching for another gimbap. "World Tteokbokki Givers."

"Whoa, rabbit," said Jjim, making yet another pun and laughing as if he could not believe he was so funny. "You want to name our organization something that sounds like 'Whoa, rabbit'?"

Hyeonmi snorted with laughter.

"'Whoa, Tokki'," said Skip, shaking his head disbelievingly.

"The logo can be a rabbit eating tteokbokki," said Pideulgi. "It's a rare brand."

"Please be in charge of logo design," said Skip, clapping him on the forearm.

Hyeonmi, who was also still brainstorming for the hypothetical tteokbokki organization, said, "Wouldn't you need more protein? We should include some meat or something." Evidently, he was concerned about people's muscle mass.

"Put protein powder in it," said Jjim, through a mouthful of egg.

Daisy started losing it again. "'Put protein powder'.. unbelievable," he said, slumping over the table as if the ridiculousness of this comment had deleted his skeletal integrity.

"I think we just lost all our customers, bro," said Skip.

"I thought it was free?" said Sunny. "Are we charging people now?"

"Not for that we aren't," snorted Skip. "We'd probably have to pay people to eat that."

Sunny was trying very hard not to laugh by repeatedly drinking water. "This is more like the No-Thanks peace prize," he was lamenting, now eating a slice of pickled radish.

Daisy was bursting into laughter again just as the door to their meeting room swung open. For some reason, some other student had staggered into the room, laden with, inexplicably, several takeout bags of what appeared to be bubble tea.

"Is this the calculus club?" he said, somewhat breathlessly. Laboriously, using an arm laden with the beverages, he attempted to use his hand to push his glasses back up his nose, a bit of his silver hair plastered to his eyebrow.

Pideulgi looked up in surprise at the familiar voice, while simultaneously Sunny suddenly went into a fit of hysterical laughter, his head falling onto his arm. Everyone around the table stared at him, extremely confused as to why this was so funny.

Skip looked somewhat apologetic again, but before he could say anything, Sunny emerged from losing it into his elbow, tears of mirth in his eyes.

"Yooo you're really coming to calculus club?" he hiccuped, using one hand to rub his eye.

"You told him this was calculus club??" said Pideulgi. "Oh my God." Laughing at the entire situation, he got up and started trying to unladen his best friend by taking some of the bags. "You brought bubble tea??" he said, directing the question at the newcomer.

"I just figured I should bring something," he said. "I'm assuming since you're here too that this is not calculus club."

Pideulgi laughed in reply. "Yeah, I don't think anyone can understand even geometry here, except for Skip, probably," he replied.

"I am not a math major," called Skip from where he was trying to clear a space on the table to put the tea. "It's business and chemical engineering—"

"Sunny is a menace to society," said Daisy, also getting up to help.

"I'm sorry, but his facial expression was 100% worth it," said Sunny, still cackling to himself. "He literally looked like Alice walking into Wonderland and seeing the caterpillar with the hookah."

"Have you seen that movie recently?" demanded the new friend, calling over to Sunny from where he was now searching through the bags with Pideulgi. "Alice sees a whole lot of other stuff before the hookah caterpillar."

"I didn't know you knew people," said Daisy, looking at Sunny with some surprise. "Everyone knows you though."

"Because he's the school's only living ghost," said Jjim, who did not seem perturbed by the sudden change of events and was still eating tteokbokki. "You should not dye your hair white, you'll blend into the wall."

"Hey, I have blood," protested Sunny. "Ghosts don't have blood—"

"Wouldn't the talking flowers be more shocking than the hookah caterpillar?" asked Hyeonmi objectively. "I mean it could be that the caterpillar wants to do a hookah but flowers aren't supposed to talk."

Skip started losing it. "What kind of caterpillar likes to do hookah??"

"Caterpillars could have different traditions in other parts of the world," said Jjim solemnly, clearly gleeful at the bizarreness of the discussion.

"When on Earth did he tell you this was calculus club?" said Pideulgi. He was still laughing after hearing the debate about hookah-huffing caterpillars.

"We have class together," protested the other. "He's trying to take advantage of the fact that I like math. I feel targeted."

"I just thought," said Sunny, languidly leaning back in his chair with satisfaction at his master plan being successful, "that since we needed more than 6 members..." he trailed off and looked at the silver-haired math student, laughing again.

"This really is Alice in Wonderland," said Daisy, marveling at all the bubble teas. "Is this a tea party, or what?"

"Who's the Mad Hatter?" said Hyeonmi, looking around the table.

"Skip," said Daisy, Hyeonmi, and Pideulgi in unison.

"I am NOT going to dance on the table," warned Skip.

"Who said anything about dancing on the table?" snorted Jjim.

"He does that in the movie—"

"Didn't hatters in the old days get mercury poisoning?" interjected Sunny.

"Yeah they didn't know much about chemical safety in those times," Skip replied. "Hey, Alice in Wonderland, thanks for bringing this tea. Sorry this isn't calculus club."

"What is this club?" he asked, more confused than disappointed.

"They are not really sure," said Sunny, as if he was the only sane one. Hyeonmi grinned off to the side like the Cheshire Cat.

"Hold on, I'll introduce everyone," said Deulgi, who was herding his friend over to an empty space next to his seat. "It's kind of tight on this side with three people but it's even worse on the other side because it's the wide shoulders section."

"The Gym Bros," snickered Daisy, scooting over closer to Sunny's end of the table to make space.

"The founder of the club is Skip," Deulgi was saying. "Wait, who do you know already?"

"Just you and Sunny," replied the newest recruit, looking around the table. "Nice to meet you."

Everyone murmured something normal like "Nice to meet you" in return, except for Jjim, who aggressively pointed to the spread of tteokbokki, which had been forgotten for a few minutes in the chaos. "Wonderland guy, eat," he said, using his whole arm to push the food slightly closer to the other side of the table.

"'Won-der-lan-d' has too many syllables," said Daisy. "Ay yo, Won Do." He nodded seriously, posing again like he was in a streetwear ad.

"AY YO WON DO," crowed Hyeonmi, rediscovering the egg gimbap.

"So apparently you're Won Do now," said Deulgi, "watch out for playing cards I guess."

"What's wrong with playing cards?" asked Skip, "I like Uno—"

Jjim immediately started saying that he was the king of Uno but Deulgi started waving everyone off, saying, "No, not the action of playing cards, like actual cards, you know, with suits."

"Oh, like heart, diamond, club," said Skip. "Yeah they could be dangerous if you're in Wonderland. I heard they're violent."

"What's the last suit called?" said Hyeonmi, crinkling up his nose as he tried to recall the name. "Spear?"

"Spades," said Sunny automatically, somehow overhearing the conversation.

"Anyways, Skip is called Skip because he always skips class because he's a genius," continued Pideulgi after the momentary change of topic.

"I am not a genius," protested Skip. Everyone ignored him.

"You know Sunny," Deulgi continued, indicating to the end of the table at the opposite end of Skip.

Won Do shot Sunny an exasperated look from behind his wire-rimmed glasses.

"Next to him is Jjim, because he literally was in here eating jjimdak without anyone noticing at literally the second meeting so we adopted him. He's seeking refuge from the troubles that come with apparently being the most handsome guy at school."

"What do you mean 'apparently'?" said Jjim indignantly, his chopsticks pausing before he took a bite of an egg.

"We know you're handsome," said Daisy.

"Yeah," supplied Hyeonmi. "You're the face of this group. Other than Deulgi."

Deulgi modestly looked off to the side for a split second at this comment, before replying "If I'm being told this by the volleyball team captain, then it must be true."

Hyeonmi shot him a double thumbs up, scrunching his nose up again.

Trying to continue introducing everyone, Deugi took the opportunity to say, "Then there's Hyeonmi who is literally just always eating brown rice because he has to get buff so he can beat up volleyballs."

"Let's get it," said Hyeonmi.

"There's me, and I'm Pideulgi," he said, "because SOMEONE—"

"—me," piped up Hyeonmi, helpfully.

"—thought I looked at pigeons—"

"—didn't you see one once though? the pigeon eating the half-eaten bowl of spicy noodles?" said Won Do, apparently remembering an incident.

"Yes, that was weird," Pideulgi agreed.

"Can pigeons digest wheat?" asked Sunny interestedly.

"Why, do you think you may be a pigeon?" asked Daisy with very little concern.

"If You Think You are a Pigeon, Read THIS!" said Skip, as if he was reading clickbait.

"Bro, bro," said Hyeonmi, nudging Skip again, "you know those articles that are like, "'You Won't Believe What Happens To Your Body If You Eat ONE BANANA Every Day'?" He didn't say much more than this, because at this reference, everyone present burst into a chorus of laughter.

"Just one banana," wheezed Skip.

"Then there's Daisy," finished Pideulgi, still wiping at his eyes from the banana joke. "Always looks fresh and I think he collects shoes. He's like.. a poetry student?" He looked to Daisy for confirmation.

"Yeaaaaah," said Daisy, immediately reaching out to clap hands with Won Do.

"I don't think I'm allowed to leave this club," said Won Do finally, looking around at everyone and trying to stop laughing. "Is there any tteokbokki left?"

"Can someone pass me a bubble tea with jellies in it?" asked Jjim. "Thanks for this," he added to Won Do.

"This one—?" said Sunny, who had seized the one nearest to him and was holding it up to the light experimentally in an attempt to discern whether or not it had jellies.

"No, the green one," he said, trying to reach over past Daisy's elbow.

"If I'm the Mad Hatter," said Skip, who was stabbing at a brown sugar milk tea with his straw, "Then someone has to be the rabbit with the little clock."

"I don't care as long as I'm not the hookah caterpillar," said Sunny, "It's bad for your lungs."

Won Do, who started this conversation to begin with, just laughed incredulously at his tea.

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