Long time no see, huh? Well, this time we're talking about a goddamn goose.

So my hometown is really trying to seem like a decent city, when it really is a village with a constantly increasing crime rate. Just when you start to think that you're in a big city or something, a flock of sheep block the street or you see a chicken walking on the sidewalk.

(Seriously, though, about the crime rate: one time I was on the train with my mom and sister and one lady asked us where we were heading, and when we said our hometown, she literally ran away, I'm not even exaggerating! She immediately got up and changed seat, scrambling on her feet! Anyway...)

Near my dad's house, there's this small house with a yard, where a goose lives. I don't know who owns it, but I see that goose every morning when I'm going to school and it bloody hates me. It keeps quacking or whatever whenever I pass by and may or may not be glaring at me. Now, I don't know how geese glare, but what that goose does is pretty close to a glare.

One day, I was walking by with my cousin, Jojo, and my squishy (love ya) and Jojo found it was a great idea to approach the goddamn goose. The goose bared its teeth and made a terrifying hissing sound, so we kinda took off running after that.

The problem is that ever since that happened, the goose has started hating me even more.

I've been terrified of the thought that, one day, I'd look over at the enclosed yard and notice that the goose was gone, then turn around and see it charging at me.

So today, I was on my way to school and there was this lady (God bless her) that was walking her two dogs. She was kinda ahead of me and as I was passing by the goose's evil lair, I checked to see if it was there and guess what?

It was standing on the sidewalk, staring at me with a look that said "I'm free and you're about to be brutally murdered."

I froze in my place, gulped and was about to run when that lady with the dogs noticed my horror and told me she'd walk me further down the street, saying that the dogs would keep the goose away.

Everything worked out in the end, but I did make it to school alive, so maybe I should have let the goose kill me? I dunno. That would have been one hell of a story.

Here are a couple of photos (one taken today, from afar, and one from better times, when the monster was behind bars). The quality is kinda bad because, please understand that I can't bring myself closer to that thing than I have to.

(I had to adjust the lighting and contrast in the second one, because the beast wasn't visible)

Anyway, that's all for today. The point of this story? Stay away from geese. They're going to haunt your dreams and try to kill you.