BELA
Mahir,he is still in pain.
Because he is hiding it well,doesn't mean he is not hurting.I can feel it!
I need to pull him out from this pain.He is balling up all his emotions since that day.I need to talk,make him normal.
This house was just a house all these days,it's going to change now.We will start everything fresh,again.
Mahir was sleeping like a baby in my embrace,the longing we had for each other since all these months,it's showing.
I moved my fingers in his hair and he snuggled into my chest,I smiled and kissed his head.This was the best sleep I had in all these month's.
I smiled when Mahir kept his leg over me,I looked at him and he was still sleeping.I'm watching Mahir like this for the first time,a fully grown beard,no haircut and looking all weak.
I kissed his forehead and hugged him.I should make him back normal,I have to fill the void I created in all these months.
I have to bring my husband Mahir Sehgal back!
I saw the time and it was seven in the morning.I slowly came out of his grip and kept a pillow near him,I smiled when he snuggled into it.
I adjusted the comforter properly and walked to our room's balcony.I saw our balcony's floor filled with beer cans,cigarette butts.It was not at all clean.
This showed me how much Mahir was spoiling his health,almost slipping into a trauma.
I tied my hair in a bun and started cleaning the mess.I completed cleaning our balcony and came back to our room.I opened the closet and saw all his clothes scattered.
He won't keep them properly when I'm there,how can I expect him to keep it neat and tidy when I'm not present.
I sighed and started folding his clothes,I dumped the worn out clothes in the laundry room and kept all his belongings properly.
I took a shower and dressed in one of his white shirt.I smelled his shirt and smiled,
"This scent..Mahir..you make me a jelly",I smiled wearing his shirt.
Mahir was still sleeping,I filled a water bottle and kept it on our bedside table.I went downstairs and cleaned another balcony too.
I don't know from how many days our kitchen was not used!
I cleaned our kitchen and walked back to our room to wake him up,
"Mahir..",I patted his cheek.
"Baby..wake up",I said caressing his lower lip with my finger and he slowly opened his eye's.
"Good morning",I smiled ruffling his hair.
He smiled and opened his arms for me,I blushed and laid flat on him,hugging him,
"Good morning Bela...hmm..",he sighed hugging me.
I caressed his chest and kissed his shoulder,I looked at him and smiled,
"You slept well?"I asked moving my fingers on his beard.
"After months,yes",he said and my heart constricted.
"Every night I always imagine that you're lying here with me,one arm around me and your body pressed up against mine,it helps me to sleep",Mahir said removing my bun and ruffled my hair softly.
"And I had the best sleep yesterday,with you",he said and I hugged him.
"I've been sleeping like this all these months,thinking that I'm tightly tucked in your arms",I said and he kissed on top of my head.
We were silent,listening and feeling each others heartbeats.I blinked back my tears and got up from him.He sat straight and smiled looking at me in his shirt,
"This is more comfortable..",I said giving a sheepish smile.
He smiled looking away.I took the water bottle and gave it to him,
"Brush and have this water,complete it",I said standing in between his legs.
"Hmm..OK..",he said hugging my stomach and I kissed his head.
He is not leaving me only,
"Mahir..baby..get freshed..I will get a coffee for you",I said and he pulled back.
His cheeks were wet with tears.
No.
"Please..get freshed",I said wiping his tears and he nodded.
He went to the washroom and I walked back to kitchen sobbing.I touched my stomach and sobbed,this pain is being killing us both.
I won't allow this to affect us both more,especially to Mahir.
I wiped my tears and made a coffee for us both.I took out some fresh apples and sliced them in a plate.I took the tray and saw the lobby's balcony slider open.
I walked to the slider and saw Mahir sitting on the couch,drinking water.The weather was pleasant today,sun shining bright but still the chilly winds on.
I smiled and went to him.I kept the tray on the table and sat beside him.He was going to take an apple but I swatted away his hand,
"First complete this water",I said and he rolled his eye's drinking water.
He was dehydrated,drinking that poison all these days!
"How are you feeling now?"I asked and he nodded.
"Hmm..you are not looking good with this beard,hair..you need a haircut",I said caressing his beard and he laughed.
"You say I always look good,then you didn't like my hair and beard?"he asked and I laughed.
"No..I want to see my old Mahir back,just the way you were",I said looking into his eye's and he gave a sad smile.
"Drink",I said giving his coffee.
We were drinking coffee and he was eating his apples in silence.I'm not craving for them anymore,it was my baby craving for them.
I blinked and looked at Mahir,he was silently looking at the city,
"Mahir..baby you need a haircut",I said and he looked at me.
I smiled and held his hand,
"Come..",I said taking him to our room.
I made him sit in our balcony,
"Are you going to cut my hair now?"Mahir asked and I smiled.
"No..wait here",I said and walked back to our lobby.
The salon people were on time.I tied my hair in a bun and walked them up to our room,
"Here..you know how he looks,make it back normal",I said and he nodded.
I so want to chop Mahir's hair with my own hands,but he is a model.I can't mess with his style.I was looking at the salon guy cutting Mahir's hair and Mahir smiled looking at me.
"This is our Mahir..",the stylist said looking at Mahir and we both smiled.
"No..no..wait",I stopped him when he was going to put foam on his beard.
"Uhm..haircut was enough,thank you",I said and Mahir looked confused.
"OK..sure mam",he said and I paid him.
The guy left and now I and Mahir were alone,
"You said you don't like my beard?"Mahir asked rubbing his beard and I smiled.
"Yes,and that's why I want to take care of it",I said sitting in his lap and he was shocked.
I smiled and pushed him back on the recliner,he kept his hands around my waist when I was straddling him,
"What a view",he said and I blushed.
"Shh..quite",I smiled and he smiled gripping me tightly.
I applied foam on his beard and started shaving his beard slowly.All the time,he was staring at me.
At times,his eye's even watered while looking at my stomach and I know he is controlling his best to not burst out,
"And now..this is how my Mahir looks",I said removing the cloth from his chest and showed him a mirror.
He smiled looking at it and looked at me,
"See..how cool you look now",I said.
"Now take a shower and come,I will make breakfast for you",I said and he smiled.
I kissed his forehead and slowly pecked his lips.He cupped my face and rested his lips on mine for a long time and slowly took my lips in,smooching and nibbling them,
"Mhmm...hmm..",I moaned in his mouth when he was sucking my tongue.
I pulled back feeling breathless and rested my forehead against him,
"Mahirr...",I panted helding his shoulders.
His warm breath was fanning my face and he was glowing,
"Take a shower and come..I will make breakfast..",I said and he nodded.
I got up from him and he went to our room.I removed his clothes and went to cook breakfast for us.Every time I look at our stairs,I'm shivering.
But again,it was an accident!
Not a bad memory which I will allow to eat us both,no!
I made paratha and cranberry juice for him.His body needs to cool down,all this alcohol and smoking,it was too much.
He came back in a vest and sweatpants,I was setting the table,
"Come..",I said and he sat on the chair.
I sat beside him and served in his plate.He was eating silently when I was feeding him.I too had my breakfast and now we both were sitting in our lobby,looking at our baby fishes.
I was resting my head on his chest and he was looking at those fishes silently,
"Mahir..you should take your medications",I said looking at him.
"Hmm..yeah",he said and looked away.
I took out his medicines and gave him.And then I remembered,even I should take my medicines,
"Mahir..I will be back..just a minute",I said and he nodded.
I walked back to our room carefully and took out my medicines.These medicines are for my blood loss and now I am stable.My body feels a bit weak.
"Bela..",Mahir saw me taking medicines.
"What..what is this?"he asked gulping.
"Mahir..no..it's just..",I don't know whether to tell him or not.
MAHIR
She is still taking her medications,she had a huge blood loss,
"Mahir..no..it's just..",Bela said and I walked to her.
"Oh..you are still on medications",I said taking that tablets strip.
Bela took it from my hand and kept it in the drawer,
"Mahir,now I am completely fine.These..they are just for my weakness..nothing else",Bela said and I sat on the bed.
This is all because of me.Her health,it took a major turn.Her body became weak after that miscarriage,
"Baby..look at me",Bela said cupping my face and stood in between my legs.
"Mahir..now I am completely fine,I'm really fine.Three months under medications helped me and now..I'm fine",she said wiping my tears.
I kept my hands around her waist and snuggled into her stomach and sobbed,
"Baby...Mahir please",her voice was breaking and she was caressing my head.
"Bela..our baby..our babyy..",I sobbed hugging her stomach and she also sobbed.
I pulled back and pulled her shirt a bit up revealing her shorts underneath.I opened the bottom three buttons of the shirt and looked at her stomach.
"Mahir..no..don't..",Bela sobbed cupping my face.
"No..Bela..our baby was in here..yours and mine..our love...my baby",I cried snuggling into her stomach.
"Mahir please...don't cry..please",she sobbed and I cried kissing her stomach.
"My baby..she..she was with you even when I was not...she was with you...but..she..she left even before meeting me...my baby...my child.....",I cried and Bela dropped to her knees.
"Mahir..I came out of this..with a lot of difficulty...please..don't take us back again..no..please",she cried cupping my face.
"No Bela...first..I'm sorry,I'm not your worthy.You kept apologizing to me..but I..I didn't budge,I hid things from you in a wrong way..then K,your health..I didn't care when you were crying,puking..morning sickness..it's all my mistake...and our baby..how?"I cried resting my forehead against hers.
She sobbed and I slumped on the floor beside her.She held my face and I was still sobbing,
"Mahir..look at me...please",she sobbed making me look at her.
"No..no..I can't",I said looking away.
"Mahirr...look at me...",she shouted making me look at her.
"Just..look at me..please..please",she sobbed resting her forehead against mine and I sobbed.
"Mahir...it's not just you,we both were at fault.I made a mistake..you made a mistake..we suffered equally..we are not meant to suffer more...no...please",she said and I cried hugging her.
"Bela...my love",I cried hugging her tight and she sobbed in my arms.
"Why did you leave me Bela?You know that I can't live without you..then why did you leave me?"I cried pulling her onto my lap.
She sobbed in the crook of my neck and I sobbed hugging her tight.She pulled back and looked at me,
"I'm sorry Mahir..I was blank..I was in a shock..I didn't knew how to react..forgetting everything around me..you..I..I was just blank.I needed space to come out of this pain",she cried.
"Space from me Bela?We both are one,if you are broken...I'm broken equally..and how can I live without you baby?"I sobbed and she cried.
"I'm sorry Mahir..I'm sorry for pushing you away when we needed each other the most..I'm sorry,I shouldn't have done that..I made you suffer more",she cried touching our noses.
"I..I was in pain,emotionally and..I didn't knew how to deal with it..I just go mute..when I face something like this..that is just me..being me..but..I realized,this is not how it should be.I'm sorry for this Mahir..I'm sorry,I will never do this mistake again..never",she sobbed and I wiped her tears.
I cupped her face and caressed her scar on the forehead,
"That day..you fell..and this cut..stitches..how?"I asked.
"I..I was in our room,cleaning your closet.Then I saw a file..all those proofs which you collected against K,I got to knew everything..how she played us,especially me.I was trying to call you but..you were not available.I took that file and I was coming to you..in a hurry..I tripped and..fell flat on my stomach",she cried helding her stomach and I sobbed looking at her.
"I hit my head..and my stomach..I felt a very bad pain..right here",she sobbed pointing at her stomach and I kept my hand on her stomach.
"I..I started bleeding..in between my legs and that pain was not stopping..I..tried to call you..but still your phone was off,I called dad with a lot of difficulty...and next I woke up in a hospital,looking at you",she cried and I sobbed hugging her.
"Mahir..I..I was pregnant..we were pregnant and I didn't knew..almost a month..this accident happened because of my carelessness..and our baby...I'm sorry Mahir..I killed our baby...my baby",she cried and I shaked my head as no.
"No Bela..you didn't kill our baby..no..no..don't say like that",I said rubbing her back and she cried in my arms.
She cried for a good time and I sobbed comforting her,
"Bela..look at me",I said and she looked at me.
Her face was red and swollen due to crying,
"Baby..don't take me in a wrong way,but how...how our baby..you were on pills right?Then our baby?"I asked and she sobbed.
"Our last day in Maldives...we were informed about your award and it slipped from my mind..that day..I forgot taking pills..and I...we..our baby happened",she sobbed.
"Bela..our baby was not planned,but was made out of love.I couldn't even take in the fatherly feeling when I was informed about it...I couldn't reminisce that moment even for a single second..the doctor told..you had a miscarriage..I couldn't meet my baby,not even once.She was with you all the time..but I couldn't meet my baby..I couldn't",I broke down again and she sobbed.
"Mahir..our baby was inside me physically..but..he was attached to you emotionally..a lot",she said putting my hand on her stomach and I looked at her.
She nooded looking at me,
"Yes Mahir..he was just like you,I could feel his hunger..the same hunger which you have..I felt you..my cravings for apples and the food you eat..I was eating all your favorite food..it was you..he was just like you,like his father",Bela sobbed and I got up,making her sit on the bed.
I snuggled into her stomach and cried,
"I'm sorry baby..we couldn't take care of you..I'm sorry..",I cried and Bela sobbed.
"Mahir..it was an accident..and unfortunately we lost our baby..and I realized..we didn't kill our baby.Our baby..he just left us..he left us to make us meet again..to make us meet again..like this",Bela cried.
"We are really sorry baby..mumma..and dadda..both are sorry..so sorry,you and mumma were in so much pain and..I..I couldn't help you both..I'm sorry",I cried.
"Shh..Mahir..please..don't cry..please",Bela sobbed rubbing my back and I cried my heart out.
I wiped my tears and looked at her,
"Bela..maybe that time..I was not ready to become a father..but you always wanted to become a mother.But..we lost that little moment..we lost it.But..I will make sure..nothing like this will happen again..never..I won't let anything happen to you..I won't",I sobbed hugging her stomach.
"Mahir..look at me..please",she said cupping my face and I looked at her,
"You..you are ready for a baby?Again?"she sobbed.
"Bela..I don't make love to you because I want a baby.I want a baby because I love you",I said cupping her face.
She sobbed and kissed straight on my lips.I closed my eye's and moved my lips against hers.She shoved her tongue inside me and I sucked her tongue,sucking and nibbling it.
I want to feel her taste for all my life,just like this!
BELA
"Mahir..let's..let's move on..this is not us..not us.Let's move on and start fresh...everything..again",I sobbed cupping his face and he nodded.
"Just tell me one thing..why..why did you come to see me daily?Waiting for me without a blink..and I knew it..it was you..why Mahir?"I asked.
He gave a sad smile and a sarcastic one too,
"You think..I will fold my hands and sit silently in our home?Sulking all day?I will come to you wherever you are,how hard your parents try..I will still find out about you..how will I live without you?"Mahir asked and I sobbed.
"Mahir..that day in cafe..you were not to meant to be treated like that..you are my husband..a big star..that was wrong what dad did..I'm sorry from his side..I'm really sorry",I said.
"Bela..don't be.It's just not your cafe,it's mine too.Why will I feel bad when my father-in-law pushed me out?He is your dad,he is like my dad too and he already apologized for that.Now don't be sorry for it..don't",Mahir said.
"No Mahir..your health..it worsened because of me,what have you made yourself?You were never like this,not going to office,not eating and sleeping properly,drinking and smoking?
Why would you drink alcohol like water and smoking again?You were that angry on me?"I asked him.
"It helped me to grieve for my loss..you were..you were not beside me..that helped me to grieve",Mahir said and I sobbed.
"Now..it's not going to be like that,we will start everything fresh again.We will be back as we were,all normal",I smiled resting my forehead against his and he nodded smiling.
"Yes baby..we will start everything again,all normal.I will..I will stop drinking and smoking..I will stop it.I will get back to my work..my routine..everything",Mahir said.
"My Mahir was never like this.All weak,I've always crushed on a Mahir who was all lovely,easy going and loved that Mahir who used to take care of me and himself.And work,you will get back to work..only when you feel",I said and he smiled.
"Dad..he postponed his retirement because of me,I think I should get back to work.I don't know what is happening in our company",Mahir said.
"Dad said don't worry about it,I will not allow you for office till you become normal,like you were before,all healthy",I said and he smiled nodding his head.
"Bela..I just want to tell one thing,will you listen to me?"he asked cupping my face and I nodded.
"I will give you as many as babies you want,but don't ever push me..don't push me for them..I can't bear it.I can't stay away from you anymore.Please Bela..I can't",Mahir sobbed helding my hands and my heart pained.
"Mahir..hear me out.I will never push you away for our kids.Even if we have kids in future..you will be my main priority,you will always be my first love..it's always you..only you",I sobbed kissing his forehead.
"I love you Bela..and I missed you",he said hugging me.
"I missed you more...and I love you till death do us apart,I love you Mahir.mi love you",I sobbed hugging him.
We both were sinking in the moment,forgetting about the world.
It was just me and him,sharing our pain,our grief,our sorrows!
And this is called peace!
*****
Few weeks later!
"Yes..come on..35..36...37..38..39..40..oh my god..how many you will do?"I asked Mahir.
He was doing push ups with me sitting on his back,
"I can do...many..count Bela",Mahir groaned and I giggled.
"OK..41...42...43..",I was counting while he was doing push ups.
Mahir has been doing better in all these weeks and he will start going to office from next week.
"And it's done...",Mahir said and I got up from him.
His body getting back to it's shape,his abs started showing again.His body all sweaty with this workout,turning me on.
Better I don't talk about his body!
"Come on,your turn",he said.
"What..no.I'm good with my Yoga.I don't need any workouts",I said stepping back and he smiled coming towards me.
"Mahir..I did my Yoga in the morning..I will not do any workouts now",I giggled.
"I'm not asking for a workout..just..do some pull ups,stretch your body..I will help..I mean..acro Yoga",Mahir smiled coming towards me.
"No..I'm OK with normal Yoga..I don't want acro Yoga",I giggled running away from him and he was laughing ruining behind me.
"Mahir..I don't want to..stop",I laughed when he caught me by my waist.
"I'm loving our evening workout sessions,some acro Yoga helps..us..to make our bond more strong..",Mahir said nuzzling into neck and I giggled.
"Shh..Mahir..stop",I giggled when his hands were trying to pull out my sports bra.
"Baby..no..please",I moaned when he was nibbling the skin on my shoulder,and his hands playing with my assets.
"Bela..did you realize something?"Mahir asked hugging me from behind and I nodded helding his hand.
He sat against a wall,making me sit in between his legs,
"What did you realize?"he asked.
"We..we both dint make love..since..all these months",I said kissing his hands.
"And baby..it's not like..I don't want to touch you or..I don't love you.I'm just concerned about your health",Mahir said kissing on my shoulder.
We met our doctor in this month for my regular check up.The doctor said I'm doing all good and,and my reproductive health is also good.He said we can try for a baby again.
"I know Mahir..my health is your first priority.And my health is all good now,you will never hurt me,I know baby",I said looking at him.
He held my jaw and took my lips in his mouth,nibbling and smooching my lips with his.I cupped his face and turned towards him,kissing the hell out of him,
"Baby..I love you and I mean it in every way.I can understand your pain and your guilt.But it's OK,you will be needing time to get back normal,it's OK..I understand",I smiled kissing his cheek.
He is still feeling guilty to touch me,every time I try to get close to him,he avoids me.He is still in that bag of guilt,and I will bring him out of it.
MAHIR
Post all these weeks,I've been doing good with my health.I stopped drinking and smoking,I'm eating all healthy food made by Bela.Working out on my body,helping her to workout.
We are getting back,becoming all normal.
We met our doctor few days back for Bela's check up.I've been very careful with Bela when it comes to her health.We cuddle,we sleep naked in each others arms too,but we are not making love.
And Bela's doctor said now it's safe for our intercourse.We can try for a baby again,but my heart was still not at ease.Every time she tries to come closer to me,I'm pushing her away with the guilt I'm having.
And each time,I see hurt in her eye's.But she don't show up to me,she is trying to make me normal,putting her hundred percent.I don't want to hurt her with my actions like this,but somewhere I'm hurting her.
"OK..how about a warm soak?"I asked and she blushed.
"A warm..soak?You mean..",she was suttering.
"Yes,I mean..you and me..in a warm soak",I said nibbling her cheek.
"OK..yeah",she blushed.
"I will get the bath ready",I said kissing the side of her head and got up.
I walked back to our room smiling and went straight to our bath area.I filled the huge tub with hot water and opened the curtains of the glass door.It's raining outside,and the whole city was looking doomed with this foggy rain.
I checked the temperature and discarded my clothes.I threw a vanilla bath bomb into the tub,Bela's flavor.It spread like a white snow,filling the washroom with its vanilla scent.
I got into the tub and was waiting for Bela,looking at the city.I heard a commotion and turned around.Bela was standing in a bathrobe,looking at me.
I smiled and forwarded my hand.She blushed and removed her bathrobe,dropping it on the floor.My eye's bulged and my mouth went dry looking at her like this.
Not like it's the fist time!
She held my hand and got into the tub,she sat and rested her back against my chest,
"God..this feels so good",she sighed resting her head on my shoulder.
"It feels more good when you are with me",I murmured,kissing her cheek and massaging her breasts slowly.
"Mahir..Annu is a brave girl",Bela said and I sighed wrapping my hands around her.
"Yes Bela,she is.She has gone through a lot.I've seen her worst days and I'm happy that she found her true love now",I said rubbing her arms.
"I never knew..Annu had a past..which is this scary..I really feel sorry for her and you..you made us all proud.You are the best Mahir,you are the best",she said and I smiled.
"I love you",I said cupping her face.
"I love you more,a lot",she said and I smiled kissing her lips.
It's just matter of time,everything will get back to normal if there is a purity in the relationship we share.
She is still my person,my one and only love!
She is a queen who invested her trust and loyalty into a peasant like me,and I will never let her down!
_________________
Hey guys!
Few more chapters and the story is coming to an end😄
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