58

BELA

I woke up when I felt cool and warm sunrays hitting my face.I sat straight and clutched the comforter to my chest,I saw my balcony doors are open.

I dint close them yesterday?

I yawned looking outside and touched my feet.I paused when I felt a cold metal touching my feet.I removed the comforter and I was shocked.

My anklet!

I looked at it carefully,it's my anklet which Mahir gave me on our wedding day,which I removed it later on.But how did it reach here?Around my ankle?

My eye's widened when I looked at my feet carefully,my toe nails were painted in pink color.But I dint paint my nails since three months,then how?

My heart raced fast and my cheeks became warm when I realized.

Mahir!

Only Mahir can do this,painting my nails and this anklet...he came here?

I removed my comforter and walked towards my balcony door,they were not locked.I looked around from my balcony,there were no clues.

But...Mahir was here for real!

This anklet,which I left in our home is back on my ankle.And the nail polish,Mahir loves my nails to be painted.

That means my guess was right!

Last night the black car I saw near corner of our street,it was Mahir's.His black mustang.

I clutched my heart thinking about him.I sat on the chair and touched my feet,Mahir has touched my feet,he touched me.

My eye's watered thinking about him.I blinked back my tears and got freshed.This is going way too far now.

Mahir has come to see me last night and I dint knew!

I took a warm shower and went down.I don't want to be in this shell anymore.

"Vish..",I saw Vish and Vikrant.

"Belaa..",she said and I hugged her.

"Damn..I missed you so much",she sighed hugging me.

"Idiot,I missed you more",I sobbed hugging her.

"Hey..your baby bump is showing",I laughed touching her bump.

"Yeah..it's showing now",Vikrant smiled kissing her belly.

I was trying my best to not show them my tears,I don't want to spoil their happy moments.

"Everyone,come for breakfast",mom said and we looked at her.

"Bela..I need to talk a lot to you,but first I'm hungry..come on",Vish said taking me to the dining table.

We all were having breakfast,
"Uncle..now you can't stop me for coming here,I don't want to miss aunty's food",Vish said and we laughed.

"I will not stop you now",my dad smiled and I looked away.

"Uncle..I need to talk to Bela a lot,so don't disturb us",Vish said helding my hand and turning in the stairs direction.

"OK we won't disturb but..don't talk...",my dad was stuttering.

"I know uncle..Bela come",Vish said taking me to my room.

"Vish walk slowly and carefully",I said while climbing the stairs.

I still get nightmares about the fall I had,when my baby was inside me!

We got into my room and Vish closed the door,
"Hmm..so how is your health and the baby?"I asked putting my hand on her baby bump.

"We both are fine..and healthy",she smiled touching her baby bump.

"Third month right?"I asked and she looked at me.

"Yeah Bela..fourth month",she said and my heart pained.

I would have been three months pregnant by this time!

"Shh..Bela..don't cry",she hugged me when I sobbed.

"Bela..don't cry",she said rubbing my back.

"Even I was pregnant Vish..even I was going to have a baby..but..I lost my baby..I lost him",I cried hugging her.

"It's over Bela..we can't do anything about it.There are good times written for you,your baby will come back to you",she sobbed rubbing my back.

I cried for sometime hugging her and she kept comforting me,
"OK..it's OK..calm down now",she said and I looked at her wiping my tears.

"And this is why uncle dint allow me to meet you,he was right",she said and I sobbed.

"How are you feeling now Bela?"she asked checking my stitches scar.

"Yeah..that is fine now",I said and she kissed my forehead.

"And your health...I mean..your period and all?You are getting them without any problem right?"she asked.

"Yeah,starting one moth it was late..but now it became regular",I said.

"It's been three months Bela,since this happened and Mahir..you staying without him",Vish said and I sniffed.

"I think you had enough space Bela,he is going mad over there",Vish said.

"He is not the same Mahir he was,he is completely different now.He is drinking,smoking..he is waiting for you to come back..he is not sane Bela.Only you can make him alright",Vish said helding my hands.

"It's high time you should get back to him,he is broken.Even he lost his child,remember this",Vish said.

"I know Vish..it's not just my loss,even he lost his child..we lost our child and I'm still not ready to show my face to him..I killed our child..I killed him and how should I show my face to him?"I sobbed and she looked at me with a hurtful expression.

"But Bela..it was an accident.First,you dint knew you that you were pregnant and fell accidentally.And you dint kill your child..it happened..it's none of your fault",Vish said cupping my face.

"Not only in this matter Vish..this all would not have happened if I trusted Mahir in K's matter..it all started from there..and I'm at the fault",I cried.

"No Bela..don't think like that.Her chapter is over,don't think about it anymore.We all got to know what is the real truth and stop blaming yourself for all that.Now things are getting complicated,Mahir..he is spoiling his health Bela",she said and I looked at her.

"Yes Bela...I met him,in your home only.He is sitting in front of that intercom all the time,looking at fish bowl,a whiskey bottle beside him,a cigarette in between his finger's..I have never seen Mahir like this.

He stopped going to office,Andy uncle and Yuvi are handling the company without him,Vyom is taking care of your company's external affairs..and Annu,she has taken Mahir's complete work load upon her.He will become normal only when you will go to him Bela",Vish said.

He can't spoil his health like this.

"So think about it Bela,you very well know that he can't stay without you.Then why are you doing this?Shall I talk to your parent's?"she asked.

"No..it's not about mom and dad..I..I don't know",I said looking away.

"Bela..I just want to tell you one thing.If you want to grieve for your loss,grieve together.You and Mahir need each other..only you both can repair each other",Vish said and my thoughts were running behind Mahir.
******
Two weeks later!

"Dad..don't worry,I will be fine",I said having my breakfast.

"OK..but come back to home by evening,Rehaan will drop you",he said.

Today I'm going back to my cafe!

I had my breakfast and Rehaan came to pick me up,
"So how are you feeling after coming back?"Rehaan asked and I smiled.

"Feeling very good,I missed my cafe and my work",I sighed looking around.

"Our customers also missed Bela's food,her complimentry food..now they will be happy eating your hand made food again",Rehaan said and I smiled wearing my apron.

"Honestly Rehaan..I missed baking",I said mixing the batter.

"OK..so now that you missed baking,bake all the cakes today",he said and I laughed.

"Gladly..I would love it",I smiled.

We both baked many items today like before we used to do,
"This is the beautiful cake today",Rehaan said when I was putting the cake toppings.

I smiled and kept it in the freezer,
"Hmm..anymore orders today?"I asked removing my apron.

"No..our staff will take care,now you rest",he said.

"Come on Rehaan..I'm not tired",I huffed and he laughed.

I and Rehaan were talking in my cabin and one of our staff member came inside,
"Bela mam..there's someone to meet you",she said.

"Oh..OK,I'm coming",I said and got up.

"Bela wait,I will also come with you",Rehaan said seriously and I was confused.

We both walked to the hall and I saw Annu waiting for me.

Annu?

"God..it's her again",Rehaan sighed.

"Again?"I asked.

"Bela..she has been coming here since three months,regularly at this time,to meet you",Rehaan said and I was shocked.

"What..to meet me?"I asked.

"Yes..wait,she will not listen to me like this",Rehaan said walking towards her and I stopped him.

"Rehaan no..wait..let me talk to her",I said.

"Bela..no..she will talk about Mahir..and..no,you go inside,I will talk to her and come",Rehaan said.

"Have you allowed her to talk in all these three months?You and dad?"I asked.

"No..uncle used to send her away,daily.One day she was not listening and uncle tried to call the cops also.But Yuvi came and took her",Rehaan said.

"Then now it's time we hear her out",I said and walked in her direction.

She was shocked when she looked at me,
"Omg..Bela mam..you are back..you came",she said covering her mouth with her palms and her eye's were glistening with tears.

"Bela mam..how are you?"she asked helding my hand.

"I'm..I'm fine",I said removing my hand from her grip.

"Annu..please I'm tired telling you daily.Please go back..Bela is still not well..please go back",Rehaan said.

"No..I won't go back today.I saw Bela mam and I will go back only after talking to her",Annu said.

"Annu please,try to understand",Rehaan said.

"Rehaan..it's OK,I will talk to her",I said and she looked happy.

"But Bela..",Rehaan was saying.

"Don't tell to dad,swear on me",I said and he sighed.

"OK..go,but Annu..please be careful when you are talking to her",Rehaan warned and she nodded.

I walked back to my cabin and Annu sat in front of me,
"Bela mam...how are you?"she asked and I nodded.

"What do you want to talk,Annu?"I asked.

"Mam..first of all I'm sorry for what happened to you and Mahir sir..I'm really sorry",she said.

"Don't be,that's my fate",I said looking away.

"No mam..its not like that..actually",she said and I showed my hand to stop.

"Come to the point Annu,what do you want to talk?"I asked.

"Mam..Mahir sir,he is not good without you mam.Please come back to him",she said.

"Bela mam,it's been three months since all this happened and Mahir sir..he is not at all good mam.He is spoiling his health,only you can heal him mam..please",Annu said and my heart pained.

"Why do you care about us Annu?From when did you start caring for me?"I asked with a stern face.

"From the start mam..from the start",she said closing her eye's.

"Really?From the start,for me?You never talk to me,you have a history and how can I believe you?"I taunted her.

"You will be in headlines along with my husband,he will leave me and come to you when you have an emergency.He said he will tell about you but he never said.Now also you came for him or me?"I asked.

"Bela mam..there is nothing between me and...OK..mam I want to tell you about my most important person in my life.First,it's definitely Mahir sir,and second it's Shaan",she said and I was shocked.

"Shaan?"I was confused.

"Yes mam,Shaan..your friend.We both are going to get married next year",she said and I was amused.

"I never share anything about myself,but I'm telling this to you because you are taking Mahir sir in a completely wrong way.Mahir sir is very important to me and so are you.And I can't see you both like this,I beg you..please come back to Mahir sir mam",Annu said joining her hands.

"Please mam..Mahir sir is not being himself from all these months,I beg you.Even you are in pain,only he can heal you.Think about it mam",Annu said wiping her tears.

She looked at me one last time and left.I touched the diamond in my wedding chain and sobbed.

Our relationship,our marriage...it's getting complicated.It was not written like this,fate is playing with us.

And SPACE?

From my own husband,where I find my solace?

And since past two weeks,I daily see Mahir's black mustang near corner of our street,which stays there till early morning.

I know that I'm being watched by Mahir from all these days,and it pains me to see Mahir waiting like a thief to meet me.

It is true that not only me,even Mahir lost our child.He lost me also,first because of K and then this shocking accident we faced.

"Rehaan drop me at home",I said.

"Did she say anything?"he asked.

"No..she dint,she just asked about my health",I lied.

"OK come,let's go home",Rehaan said and I nodded.

"Bela..what are you thinking?"Rehaan asked.

"Nothing..just..you spoke to Mahir in all these days?"I asked and he sighed.

"Tell me Rehaan,you met him anytime?"I asked.

"Yes Bela,I met him",he said.

"When?What did he talk?"I asked gulping.

"Bela that..I actually..he was..",Rehaan was stuttering.

"Tell me properly Rehaan",I said and he sighed.

"One day I and Vish went to meet him,he was in your home only,completely...drunk",Rehaan said and my shoulders slumped.

"That day Mahir was not at all in his senses,he was completely drunk,chanting your name..I honestly felt bad looking at him in that condition",Rehaan said.

"Why dint you tell me about this Rehaan?"I asked.

"Bela..this happened last week.Daily he is drinking and smoking,Andy uncle,Sumitra aunty..they are trying their best to make him normal..but it's not happening Bela.His condition is getting worse day by day",Rehaan said.

"And I think you should talk to him",Rehaan said and my mind was clouded.

Rehaan dropped me at my home and I walked in,
"Bela..how was your day?"mom asked looking at me.

"It was good mummy",I said and sat beside her.

"Mummy..now what do you think about my health?"I asked.

"Your health..you are doing good beta.You are moving on from the pain",she said caressing my cheek and I was numb.

I'm moving on,but what about Mahir?

"Mom..where is dad?"I asked her.

"Dad is sleeping Bela,he will be up in some time,you get freshed and come I will make a coffee for you,go",she said and I nodded.

I went back to my room and got freshed.I changed my clothes and looked at myself in the mirror,I changed a lot.

I was combing my hair and suddenly my wedding chain fell from my neck.I immediately picked it up,
"Mummy...mummy..",I called her getting worried.

I ran downstairs shouting for her,helding my wedding chain in my hand,
"Mummy..mummy...",I shouted coming to lobby.

"Bela?What happened?"she came to me worried.

"Are you alright?Did something happen?"she asked cupping my face and my tears were flowing.

Why did my wedding chain fell like this?Many say it's a bad omen.

"Mum..mummy..my wedding chain",I showed her.

She looked shocked and took it in her hands,
"I was combing my hair and suddenly..it fell from my neck mummy..why....I'm scared",I said wiping my tears and she was examining it.

"Bela calm down...first calm down,come..sit here",she said making me sit.

"Mummy..please tell why did this happen?"I sniffed.

"Bela relax,you see this hook?This became loose,that's it..nothing else",she said showing me my wedding chain.

"But why suddenly?Will it happen like this?"I asked worried.

"Bela it's a wedding chain,and now it's been a year..so this may happen.Don't worry,it happens with everyone.I will go and give this to repair,OK?"she said and I sobbed.

"Bela there is nothing to worry,relax..OK?I will give this for repair and they will return it back by tomorrow,so don't worry about it",she said kissing my forehead.

I nodded touching the diamond in my wedding chain.I hope Mahir is safe!

"Bela..what happened?"my dad came back from him room.

"Nothing,her wedding chain..it became loose.I will give it for a repair,they will return it by tomorrow",mummy said and dad nodded.

She went back to kitchen and now I and dad were alone,
"Dad..where is my phone?"I asked.

"It's with me beta,it's offed",he said.

"I want my phone back dad",I said.

"OK..I will give you tomorrow",dad said and mom came back with coffee.

"Why not now dad?I want to talk to my husband",I said and he looked shocked.

"Bela..why now?"mom asked.

"He is my husband mom,it's my wish.I want to talk to him now",I said and they both looked at each other.

"Bela..not today,talk to him tomorrow.Now go and take some rest",dad said.

"I had enough rest and I'm tired of this rest dad.I just want to talk to my husband,now",I said wiping my tears.

"Bela..OK,I can understand.But just wait for one more day..please",dad said.

"Why dad?I have waited three months...I can't wait more.I want to talk to Mahir...now",I shouted.

"Bela..he is drunk now.He won't be good when he is drunk,I'm not stopping you from talking to him,just not now,but tomorrow,please beta",dad said and I closed my eye's.

I wiped my tears and went back to my room.I will not talk to Mahir tomorrow,I will go and meet him.

I will go back to my Mahir!

MAHIR

I gulped one more sip from my Jack Daniels whiskey bottle and shaked my head.I feel everything around me is spinning.

I puffed my cigarette and looked outside from our balcony,
"I and...mumma..we both used to..spend a lot of time here...in..each others arms...feeling warm..and..cozy..here..on this couch",I talked to our baby golden fishes.

"We both...you people used to...be..here in lobby..and I and mumma...we both in our room..we both...",I blushed thinking about our love making and gulped another sip.

"You know babies?Mumma...she used to sleep in my arms..like a cute..sleepy panda..messy hair..and I..I used to slowly kiss her forehead,cheeks nose and her lips.

Her lips..they are so sweet and the way she kisses me",I blushed thinking about her lips.

"Her lips..",I laughed looking at our fishes.

"Even she..opens and closes her mouth...like you both..when we..make love.She used to held me tight..so tight that I don't know where I end and where she begin..that close when I was with her..I miss her",I choked.

"I miss Bela..I miss her love..her touch...the way she feels me and the way I feel her...I miss it",I sobbed wiping my tears.

"And babies..don't worry that dadda..he is drink..drinking like this..mumma is not with him na...so..dadda feels alone..so..he..drinks..to overcome that loneliness",I smiled ticking the bowl.

"I'm..trying to meet her daily..but I could only stare at her..balcony from all these days...mumma has sent you both here right?Tell her..that dadda needs her...we need each other damn it",I shouted kicking an empty whiskey bottle.

I lifted the bottle in my hand and drank,gulping the sour liquid into me.This soreness is needed in my body,I don't care even if I die.

I'm dieing daily looking at our stairs,where Bela fell down and she was in pain.The way she dragged herself to this table,the whole floor was covered with blood,our intercom,our broken fish bowl and our...our baby!

I was never ready for a kid,but the moment I got to know that Bela was pregnant,my heart raced a marathon.The feeling,our replica's inside her..made out of our love.

Our baby was our love!

Mine and Bela's love,it was growing inside her.We were pregnant,she was having morning sickness,craving for apples like me,like me?

My baby was craving for apples?

Because Bela hates apples and I'm the apple lover.So,the baby has gone on me..means my daughter,it would be her?

"My daughter...our daughter was..my baby had my taste..I would have a daughter right?"I cried tossing the cigarette harshly on the ash tray.

"We were about to have a daughter..because daughters..are..close to fathers and..son's are close..to mothers..and our baby was craving for apples like me...so..my baby..it must be my daughter only..my daughter..I lost her..I lost her...my baby...",I cried.

I gulped some more alcohol and tears were flowing from my eye's,settling on my beard.I don't know what is going on in my professional life,my work,my responsibilities...I don't know anything.

My focus is only on Bela,I want her back!

That day,a little bit of trust would have not costed all this,breaking our beautiful relationship into pieces.

But it was even my mistake,I said I was like an open book to Bela,but I had some hidden pages too.

Even some open books have hidden pages!

Annu is a hidden page,K was a hidden and faded page,which costed all this,costing my love,my baby,my life.

This has become messy!

I lifted the bottle to my mouth and gulped the rest in one go.I threw the bottle across the room and shook my head.I was feeling dizzy all of a sudden.

Now the alcohol started getting into my head.I blinked again and again,I felt my chest burning.I rubbed my hands on my chest and looked around.I'm sensing something is going to happen to me.

I felt my chest tightening and my throat burning,my head feeling heavy.I took another cigarette and lit it,I puffed it and coughed immediately.

I tossed it aside and searched for water around me.I looked around and stood on my legs properly,I slowly walked to my kitchen and opened the fridge.I saw water bottle and grabbed it,I don't know from how many days I stopped drinking water and started drinking alcohol like water.

I took a sip of water and coughed again,I felt my chest tightening and felt a difficulty in breathing.I walked back to the lobby and slumped on the floor beside the intercom.I was feeling dizzy and I could see black dots all around.

I dialed the first number I saw in it,I need someone right now.I don't want to die without meeting Bela,even if I die,she has to be the last person I see.

"Hello..Mahir sir?"I heard Annu's voice.

"An..Annu..",I groaned helding my chest.

"Mahir sir...what happened?"she shouted.

"I..I don't know..my chest...it's getting tight..I'm..not able to..breathe...Annu...",I groaned.

"No..I'm...coming..Mahir sir..please drink some water..try to take deep breathes...I'm..coming",I heard her voice and my vision was getting blur.

I kept the intercom aside and I was able to hear her faint voice.I held the coffee table and slumped on the floor,
"I just want to see you before...I die Bela...just once",I groaned clutching my chest.

My breath...I'm not able to breath,I'm loosing my consciousness.I have been struggling like this since past fifteen minutes and I know I'm loosing it.

My eyelids were getting heavy and I looked at the door when it opened.I saw my family standing along with Annu.

"Mahirr...",my mom shouted coming towards me.

"Mom..I'm..chest..",I clutched my chest and my dad took me in his lap.

"Hey...Mahir...Mahir open your eye's",he was patting my cheek.

"Mahir...open your eye's..look at us",Vyom shouted slapping my cheek slowly.

"Mahir sir..get up..look here",Annu cried splashing some water on me.

"Mahir...Mahir",mom shouted taking me in her lap,that was the last thing I remember.

I blacked out!

BELA

Yesterday night I dint see Mahir's car outside.Now even he must be tired waiting for me like that,he was coming here daily since three weeks and no one have any idea about it,except me.

I took shower and got ready wearing a saree.I just felt like wearing it today,Mahir loves me in saree's and I'm going to meet him today.

I applied a pinch of vermilion and looked at myself in the mirror.I slowly removed the cloth near my stomach and looked at it,my baby.

I caressed my stomach and sighed,
"I'm sorry baby",I said and wiped my lone tear.

I looked at my neck and remembered about my wedding chain.I went downstairs searching for my mom.She was setting the table,
"Mummy..",I called her and she looked at me.

"Bela...",she smiled coming towards me.

"You look so..beautiful",she said cupping my face.

"My wedding chain...where is it?"I asked.

"Bela I gave it for repair yesterday,they will give it back by today evening.Don't worry",she said.

"But I want it now mummy..I want to wear my mangalsutr",I said.

"OK I will call them,if the repair is done I will tell them to send it to our home or your cafe.You are going today right?"she asked and I nodded.

"OK..first come and have breakfast",she said and I sat.

We all had breakfast in silence,
"Bela..today I will also come with you,I'm getting bored here",dad said.

"OK..dad",I said.

I and dad reached our cafe,I was writing today's specials on the board and dad was talking to Rehaan seriously.I went back to kitchen and baked my stuff,it started raining outside now.

"Bela..there's a parcel for you",Rehaan said coming inside.

I nodded and cleaned my hands.I went out and saw a person waiting for me,
"Bela Sehgal?"he asked.

"Yes,that's me",I said.

"Mam your wedding chain is ready now.We have repaired it",he said giving me a box.

"Thank you",I sighed in relief and he nodded.

I went back to my cabin and wore my wedding chain.I kissed the diamond and sighed caressing it with my fingers.I feel Mahir is always with me when I have this wedding chain around me,the one he tied around my neck,looking into my eye's with lot's of love.

I blushed and kissed it once again.I went back to kitchen and took out cake toppings for the cake.The cake was ready and I came to the hall to place it in the showcase,I saw dad and Rehaan talking seriously.

"Yes uncle,they took him to hospital last night.I spoke to Yuvi",Rehaan was saying.

"Now how is he?What is the problem?"dad asked worriedly.

About whom are they talking?

"Uncle..Mahir..he has been drinking a lot and his body got dehydrated and because of smoking,he faced a difficulty in breathing,now he is in the hospital,I just hope he is fine",Rehaan said and my heart dropped into my stomach.

I felt weak all of a sudden and dropped the cake which was in my hands.Dad and Rehaan looked at me,they are shocked.

Mahir...he is in hospital?

"Bela..nothing..nothing happened to Mahir..it's just...",dad said and my tears were flowing.

"Bela..I spoke to Yuvi..he is fine now..Mahir is fine",Rehaan was saying and I stepped back.

"Bela..no..listen to us",dad said and I stepped back.

"No..no...Mahirrr..",I shouted and turned back,running out of the cafe.

"Bela...Belaaa...",I heard their faint voices.

"No...Mahir...I'm coming...Mahirr...",I shouted running on the road and it was raining,drenching me.

"No..Mahir..nothing..nothing will happen to you..nooo...",I cried running on the road.

I don't know in which hospital he is in,I was just running like a mad person on the road,shouting his name,and everyone were looking at me shocked.

"Mahirr...shh...aahhh..",I tripped because of wet road and fell on the floor.

My palms are burning,
"No..Mahir..",I sobbed lying on the road and people on the road were looking at me amused.

"Bela..Bela get up",Rehaan came and tried to make me stand.

"Rehaan..Mahir..I should go to him..I should go",I cried and he cupped my face.

"OK..OK..let's go in car..come..come",he said making me calm and I immediately got into the car.

Dad was driving in full speed and I was sobbing clutching my wedding chain.Mahir is not well,he needs me.My Mahir needs me and I need him too.

We reached the hospital and I got down from the car and ran inside,
"Bela this way..",dad said and I wiped my tears running in that direction.

I halted when I saw my family member'standing outside a room,everyone looking worried.I ran towards them and all were shocked looking at me.

I wiped my tears and saw Mahir lying on the bed through this door,Annu was shedding tears standing beside the door,
"Mahir...",I cried covering my mouth.

"Mahir...",I sobbed and stepped forward to go in.

"You get the hell out of here",I heard a voice and I felt a hard push on my chest,making me fall on the ground.

I fell on the floor,
"Bela..Bela...",dad and Rehaan held me.

I looked at her and I was shocked,
"Just stay away from Mahir sir",Annu spatted with anger.

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