1 month earlier

Cade gasped and staggered to his feet, nausea roiling through his stomach like a coiled snake.
"Again!" the counselor shouted. "Three more."
Down he went, flat on his belly, then up into the push-up

position, an awkward hop into a crouch, and finally the jump straight into the air, his hands pointed at the sky.

Burpees, they called them, a terrible, full-body exercise that used his own weight against him. Cade had thought the name funny at first. It wasn't funny anymore.

"Down," the counselor barked. "Faster."
Cade went down.
It had been so stupid. Gobbler had tripped him up in the canteen, sticking out his leg when Cade walked past. Cade hadn't been looking, too focused on finding his table among the crowd.

Usually, he sat with Eric. Not beside him, but at the same table. Even though Eric pointedly ignored Cade, he was safer territory than the others. Having somewhere to sit made Cade's life a little easier.

In any case, when Cade had fallen, he'd smacked his face on the floor. Just a minor bruise on his cheek, but the war- dens had seen it later that day and threatened him with punishment if he didn't tell them who else had been involved.

But the kids here didn't rat on one another—the code of silence was ubiquitous, and those who broke it were duly treated with contempt, even violence, by all if they were found out. Cade kept his mouth shut, and he was given a month on "punishment duty."

For the past four weeks, each lunch break and evening, he was put through his paces: push-ups, star jumps, and of course the dreaded burpees.

He'd do the interval courses at full tilt, only to be told to run back to the start and do it all over again.

The red-faced counselors would scream in his face for min- utes at a time, daring him to do anything other than stare straight ahead, his body rigid and at attention.

One had bellowed their job was to break him down so they could build him back up again. But Cade didn't think he needed breaking, or fixing for that matter. Most of the students didn't.

A garbled voice came from the counselor's pocket radio, jarring Cade from his thoughts. The blood was pounding too hard in his ears for him to hear it.

"Two four," the man replied. "Sending him now."

Cade, suddenly able to stand still, swayed on the grass. Then, in a sudden bout of nausea, he puked. 

"You're done," the counselor said, wrinkling his nose. "Now run back to your room, and I better not see you slow down on the way."

Cade stumbled away, forcing himself into a half jog as he wiped his mouth. He watched the other boys, tossing around a ball out in the yard. Though he wouldn't have had the courage to ask to join in before, he still felt a pang of jealousy.

The counselors there had separated him from the others, just as they had done to Spex a few months earlier. It was a strange mix of detention and solitary confinement, with his lunches brought to his tiny new room, and his evenings spent alone there too. The only time he spent with the other students was in class.

At the time, he'd scoffed at the punishment. Hell, he'd even wondered if he'd prefer it in there. Time to himself, away from Finch and the others.

Now, staggering back into his room, he hated being there. The drip, drip of condensation from the air vent was almost intolerable, yet it broke the heavy silence that had been his downtime for the past month.

Cade had thought he would be able to meditate. Write letters in his head. Plan his life. But instead, his mind raced, endlessly. He couldn't calm it, even when he did his homework, such as it was. He could hardly sleep.

The regret over what had happened seemed to bounce around his skull, while anxiety squeezed his chest like a vise. His parents, loving though they were, had believed the school. The police. That it had been him.

This, in many ways, was the most painful part of all. The injustice of being falsely accused still hurt. It made him rage, at least in private. Scream into his pillow.

But though the judge had practically forced his parents to send him here, the way they had acted after the incident had not. Disappointment and resentment, as if he had let them down. When none of it had been his fault.

Still, he missed them. Punishment duty also meant no con- tact with parents. No calls, visits; even letters had to wait until after.

Cade's belly rumbled despite his recent vomiting, and he pushed away the angry thoughts. Food would be arriving soon. He ate later than the others, and the food was always cold when it was delivered.

The portions were at least generous—likely they scraped up the surplus of what was left in the cafeteria after the main meal. And there was no Gobbler to steal his meals.

In the midst of such misery, he had made a decision. That he would not let himself waste away. That he would stay healthy. They had taken his freedom, his joy. But they would not take away his body.

So, each day he ate all his food. His workouts, as he tried to think of them, at least now served some purpose beyond punishment.

Already he was seeing results. He was filling out, and this time without that paunch around his middle. He had been in terrible shape before, in part due to the jalebis and other Indian sweets his mother used to send to him at boarding school.

Now, his stomach was flat and his chest wasn't. His arms now had definition and didn't hang like a scarecrow's from the sleeves of his blue uniform. Even now, he admired his new shape in the room's small mirror. No Hercules, but no scrawny beanpole either.

The door rattled, and Cade looked up, startled from his reverie. It swung open, creaking on its hinges. A teacher stood there.

"Come on," the man said.

"Am I going back to the dorm?" Cade asked, glad that pun- ishment duty might be over with but sad to lose his private room.

"I said, come on," the man snapped. "I won't ask again."

Cade shrugged and hurried after him. It took a few more minutes of walking to see where he was going. Visitation. The small room where parents could see their kids.

Cursing the timing, Cade licked his hands and tried to fix his hair into some semblance of decency for his parents.

He was sweaty from the workout, and he knew he likely stank.

The teacher stood at the window in the visitation room, and Cade sat down on the ragged old sofa, his parents oppo- site. A coffee table scattered with leaflets of smiling kids lay between them.

He felt a mixture of joy and sadness fill him when he saw them. His father gave him a thin smile as he entered the room, but neither spoke until he had sat down.

"How are you, Cade?" his mother asked, putting a hand on his knee.

She seemed so tired. There were fresh lines on her face.

"I'm fine," Cade said, putting on a brave face. "I've been exercising. Want to see my guns?"

He lifted his arms and tweaked his bicep. She forced a smile at his cheesy joke, but Cade knew her heart wasn't in it. His father was no better—he looked haggard. Why didn't he say something? He just wanted to hear his dad's voice.

"We understand you've been fighting," his mother said.

"I tripped, that's all," Cade said quickly, hearing the worry in her voice.

She shook her head. "You don't need to lie, Cade."

Cade felt a flash of anger. The same anger he'd felt when his father had first spoken to him after he'd been arrested. Asked him if he'd done it.

"I'm not lying," Cade said, trying to keep his voice calm. She sighed and looked away, as if holding back tears. "How have you guys been?" Cade asked after a moment of awkward silence.

His father paused, and he saw his parents exchange a glance. It was only then that he noticed the distance between them. His father sitting behind her rather than beside her. The way she leaned away while he was speaking. They'd been arguing. He knew it.

"We're hanging in there," his father said, giving Cade a tight-lipped smile. "Talking to your old school, seeing if they'll take you back."

Cade took a deep breath, resisting the urge to let his temper run away with him.

"Don't waste your time," he said. "They think I did it." 

"They said they might consider it, if we pay full price."

"Don't," Cade pleaded. "We can't afford it. And everyone there will treat me like a thief."

"Cade, we can't just give up on your education!" his father snapped. His mother flinched at the noise.

"What's done is done. Don't let it cost us any more," Cade said, ignoring the pain in his father's eyes.

"If you don't go back, what does your future look like?" his father asked. "You'd be lucky to get into a community college, let alone a top university. This isn't another few months, this is your whole life!"

"Shut up about that, all right?" Cade snapped back. "You think I don't know, you think I don't—"

Cade forced himself to calm, taking several slow breaths. He hadn't realized how angry he had become. He'd worked so hard at keeping his emotions hidden from the others, but now it was all spilling out on the people he loved.

Shame heated his cheeks, and he wiped the moisture from the corners of his eyes. What was he becoming?

"We're doing it," Cade's father said. "Soon as you get out."

"It's not like I can stop you," Cade muttered.

He sat there, staring at his hands, until his father cleared his throat.

"So," his dad said, avoiding Cade's eyes. "You must know why we're here."

Cade stared at him blankly. "Because you heard I was fighting?"

He saw his father take his mother's hand, and her pull it from his grip. The sight was like a knife in Cade's heart. They wouldn't be arguing if it wasn't for him.

"No, Cade. It's about me," his mother said. "I'm not going to be visiting as often."

"You're not?" Cade's heart quickened.

"Didn't you get my letter?" his mother asked, and now he could see her anger too as she glared at the counselor behind them.

"I've been on 'punishment,'" Cade whispered. "Remember?" His mother took in a sharp breath.
"What's happening?" Cade said quickly before she could ask about it.

"Money's been tight lately," she said. "What with the

fine for the laptops, the fees for this place, I'm going back to work. It's full-time, and with the drive up here being so long . . ."

Cade felt his heart quicken in his chest. The visits were painful for him, true, but they were the only thing that reminded him of the outside world. That there was a life wait- ing for him, if he could only get through this.

And his mother, having to go back to work? She loved being retired. Had worked hard her whole life just so she could.

This was all his fault.

"We'll still call every week, okay?" Cade's mother said. "We love you."

Cade closed his eyes, trying to fight back the black wave of despair. This wasn't fair. None of this was.

Tears sprang up in the corners of his eyes, and he turned his face away. He couldn't let them see him cry. 

"Love you guys," he whispered.

They had driven a long way to see him, but he couldn't bear it a moment longer. He stood and nodded to the counselor.

"Cade," his father called, his voice almost pleading. He didn't look back.

Author's Note: I will be uploading a chapter every day until June 20th! But if you're enjoying the book and want to read the whole thing RIGHT NOW, you can buy the hardback in Barnes and Noble, Amazon or Books-A-Million, and the eBook on Kindle, Kobo, iBooks or Google Play!