B) Talk about the future (wanting to be a hero)
You know, that honesty from this hero took me a bit by surprise. I really didn't expect him to tell me that at all. Somewhat it felt different. I don't know... I wanted to tell him a bit as well but I was not sure if I should do it. For one, I didn't really trusted nor knew this guy for long and yet here we were talking about things he would probably not share that easily. He was still doing it and I didn't know what to think about this. I mean... I kinda felt .... I... I don't even know. I could understand where he was coming from and why he felt like this and I could tell that he would understand me but this was just all too sudden for me.
Me: You think things will get better?
Tsukauchi: Why not?
Me: I don't know.... I don't even know what I want to do anymore.
Tsukauchi: Hmmm... then don't think about it.
Me: What?
Tsukauchi: You are still yound Izu. There is no need for you to break your mind about this.
With that he ruffled my hair and this was the moment I realised that he didn't expected me to say anything. The reason why he told me his story was to tell me that he knew exactly what I was going through. He wanted probably to make me feel more at ease and besides he was not asking me about how I wanted to try to kill myself just minutes earlier. This was just.... different, I guess.
Me: Then what should I do?
Tsukauchi: How about taking it slow for now and let life be as it is?
Me: You mean do nothing?
Tsukauchi: That is not what I said.
Me: Then what did you mean?
Tsukauchi: I meant for you to do things you like and just don't think about it.
Me: But what do I like?
I think that was a wrong question since he just looked at me for a second before starting to laugh. Yeah, this was probably a stupid question but I couldn't help and ask since I didn't really think about it much. It just slipped out of my mouth and it was not even a lie. I didn't know what I liked right now. Everything seemed just a waste of time and even if I would do something, I had a feeling that it would end up being something stupid.
Tsukauchi: Hmmm... how about comming with me to work tomorrow?
Me: You have to go to work?
Tsukauchi: No, I took some days off but I think you might like it there.
Me: Why?
Tsukauchi: You have a lot of hero figures.... you seem to like them but you know who are better than heroes?
Me: No?
Tsukauchi: Police officers.
Me: Pfff-
Tsukauchi: I am not lying! It's true! It's way more intersting and entertaining then you think.
Me: Alright... then let's do that.
Tsukauchi: Say... do you want to become a hero or work in a hero agency?
Me: I wanted too.... but that would be impossible.
Tsukauchi: Quirkless thing huh.
Me: Yeah.... it was a stupid and ridiculous dream.
Tsukauchi: HEY! Don't say that. If you want to, I'll help you out. Of course it is up to you but I can give you a small push to get into UA if you want that.
Me: No thanks.
Tsukauchi: Alright, alright, but you know you can tell me everything.
Me: Thanks but I don't want to be a hero anymore.... they failed soo much. It would remind me of my mother too....
Tsukauchi: You don't have too. Just be who you wanna be.
Me: You think I can be like you?
Tsukauchi: Like me?
Me: yeah...
It was a small yeah but his story was kinda inspiring. I really didn't wanted to be a hero anymore. Then again, I know that my mother would want me to actually do something I like and I always wanted to help people and be a hero but now.... what was I supposed to do without a dream? Without a tallent? Without my mother?
I was lost!
I didn't know what was what and what I should do anymore.
Yet his story inspired me enough to think..... I mean Tsukauchi had a point here. He was nice and he is strong unlike me. Maybe, just maybe, if I would try to be a bit more like him... maybe I would become at least something.
Tsukauchi: Hmmm... but I don't think you can be like me.
Me: Oh...
It hurt hearing that but he was right.
Tsukauchi: You would be an even better detective than me.
Me: Huh?
Tsukauchi: I've seen your hero analysis and I have to say I am impressed. You may not have a quirk but your analytical skills are top notch.
Me: Oh...
Tsukauchi: Don't oh me! I am not lying. I am really impressed with them. They are soo in-depth too. .... You know what?! I am carving some ice cream right now. What about you?
Me: Not really.
Tsukauchi did nodge me a bit and there was no saying no and I realised that. He definitely was different and for some reason he also encouraged me a bit more. Perhaps I could try do some more analyses for now. It would at least take my mind off and I would feel calm. They were the only thing I really enjoyed doing and he was right. I really needed a bit of time off from everything. My mind was in a chaotical state thanks everything what happened today too.
I just needed time.
Only time would tell if I would still continue with my prior plans or change them.
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