Warning: Swearing (Uncensored), Violence, Deaths and sexual things (Revealing clothes, sexual jokes etc)

Names
Talking
"Thoughts"
Talking though a radio, communication or something alike

Inside of the studio involves an azure blue stage with a spinning wheel on it. Then, a young woman appears on stage, which made the crowd claps for her. The woman who looks like sixteen years old girl with long black hair tied up in a ponytail with a red tie, blue eyes and very pale skin. She wears a modest black ninja garment. (A/N - This isn't really what I look like; I just based my appearance on my picture and I prefer to keep my true self a major secret. Sorry)
Kuno: Hello hello hello! My name is Phantom Kunoichi, yours truly and the hostess of the game show; THE CHALLENGING WAR OF BLAZBLUE!!! Today, we will meet our thirty-three contestants that will be joining us in this crazy-ass show. First, we will meet the male lead of the beloved fighting game, BlazBlue; he is the SS class criminal, wanted by the NOL, who is basically the corrupted government who rules the world with an iron fist and he is the wielder of the Azure Grimoire. He is rude, abrasive and has a mouth that makes even put the Angry-video-gamer to shame, but underneath all that tough façade, he has a heart of gold and willing to sacrifice his own life for people he really cares about, meet...RAGNA THE BLOODEDGE!

Then, Ragna came out of a purple portal and the audience starts clapping. He walks towards the stage while waving his hand at the crowd.
Ragna: Yo Kuno, what's up?"
Kuno: ... (Blushing)
Ragna: Umm... (Wave his hand over her face) Hello, I'm talking to you, Oi, Wake the fuck up!
Bald formally dressed man: She wants you to wait for the other contestants.
Ragna: Wait the fuck a minute...I don't remember the contract saying I'm in some competition...

???: BROTHER!!!
Ragna: Oh...dear god...anything but fucking HIM!!!

Then, Ragna turns and suddenly, got tackled by the blonde-haired man.
Jin: Brother! I am so happy you're here! Now I can kill you right here and now!
Ragna: (Being strangled) Help...me...
Kuno: BOB! Save him! (A/N-I know, not the most creative name I could think of, but whatever!)
Bob: On it (Grabs Jin away from Ragna)
Jin: HEY! Let me go at once, you bastard!!!
Ragna: (Breathing heavily) Tha...Thank...Thank you...Oh my god... (Gets up)
Kuno: (Sarcastic) Ladies and gentlemen, Jin Kisaragi, main deuteragonist of the franchise, the hero of the Ikuraga war and a major of the NOL.
Jin: Hey! Don't be sarcastic you unholy whore!
Kuno: ... Said by an idiotic incestuous brother who can't get a single pussy because he is so damn focused on his own brother.
Jin: ... I am not going to say anything. All I can say is that you are a fat ugly pig who should be baked.
Kuno: Anyways, next is our shy little female lead who is the former lieutenant of the NOL and the 'Successor of the blues', meet...NOEL VERMILLION!!!
Jin: FUUUUUUUUU.....
Ragna: Oh thank god, someone who isn't a complete pain in my ass.

Then, Noel appears out of the portal as she waves both of her hands at the audience who is clapping at her.
Noel: Umm...hello everyone.
Kuno: Hey there, Noel, welcome to my show.
Noel: Hel- Wait a minute, show and major Kisaragi?!
Jin: ...Hello...trash...
Noel: I...I never thought you would be here! I thought I was going to some poetry club! Please tell me you gave away your weapon to the security!?
Jin: ...Yes, they refuse to allow me in unless I give away my weapon for "safety reasons". Right now, I WISH I didn't give away my Yukianesa.
Noel: (Gulp) Oh! Ragna, thank goodness you're here.
Ragna: Yeah, me too.
Kuno: Anyways... Next is our local gothic loli vampire who hates drinking the blood of humans and her werewolf butler who is a badass elderly...meet... RACHEL ALUCARD AND VALKENHAYN R. HELLSING!!!
Ragna: Oh come on! Not the old man and rabbit!

Then, Rachel and Valkenhayn appear on stage and the audience clap, which...strangely confuses them.
Rachel: That is quite odd...I thought I was going to have some private tea party. Valkenhayn, are you sure this is the right location?
Valkenhayn: Well, this should be the place; at least, that's what the map in the mail says.
Kuno: Oh, well I didn't exactly lie about that; I just didn't add the whole game show part.
Rachel: You...you trick us? Well, not going to deny, that was pretty sneaky, but still... I still can't believe you trick us.
Kuno: Yea...it's the only way to convince you guys to be in this show
Rachel: (Sighs) Seriously?
Kuno: Seriously. (Smile cheekily)
Rachel: ...I'm going to bother...
Kuno: Anyways, next is our two local catgirls; one is really cheery and another is a mad scientist, the red devil and the 11th Murakumo unit... TAOKAKA, KOKONOE A MERCURY, TAGER AND LAMBDA!!!

Then Kokonoe, Tager, Lambda and Taokaka enters the stage, with the pink-haired scientist and the red devil tilt their heads in confusion, along with the blonde-haired artificial human and Tao just jumps around.
Taokaka: GOOD GUY (Tackles at Ragna) Good guy, give me food!
Ragna: This isn't the time to have food, Tao!
Kokonoe: What the hell! I thought we are going to some science fair? Yo Lambda, is this the right place?
Lambda: Analysis; this seems to be the right location.
Tager: I think we were tricked, Miss Kokonoe.
Kokonoe: Oh for the love of... (Sarcastically) Great, we got the black beast here, just wonderful.
Ragna: (Sarcastically) Nice seeing you too...Kokonoe.
Kokonoe: ...
Kuno: Anyways, next we have our resident yandere, our favourite squirrel girl, brainwashed mum and Dr Fanservice... NU, MAKOTO NANAYA, NINES AND LITCHI!!!
Ragna: (Scared) ...What...
Kokonoe: Mu...MUM!?

Nu, Makoto, Nines and Litchi appear on stage.
Litchi: Huh? I thought this is a hospital where I help out some ill children? Did I get lost? (Doubles check her map) That is so weird...
Makoto: NOELLIE!!! (Runs over to Noel and hugs) Holy crap! I am so glad you're here! I was told that Terumi kidnaps you and I got so worried that I ran all the way here to save you and-!
Noel: I'm...I'm okay Makoto...umm...can you let me go?
Makoto: Oopsie Daisy, my bad (Lets go of Noel)
Noel: Thanks, and besides, Terumi isn't here... I hope.
Nu: RAAGGNA!!! (Jumps at Ragna)
Ragna: Nope! (Steps away from her, which she fell to the floor and he hides behind Tager) Stay away from me you crazy bitch!
Nu: But Ragna! Nu wants to be with you...forever...and forever...
Ragna: Nah ah! You are NOT stabbing me tonight, no way!
Nu: But I want to be inside of you!
Ragna: ... "I am SO not dealing with this crazy shit!"
Nines: ...Kokonoe...
Kokonoe: ...Mum...
Kunoichi: Next is the young vigilante, the worst mad scientist father ever! The failed Black beast and the sweet cinnamon roll... CARL CLOVER, RELIUS CLOVER, ARAKUNE AND CELICA A. MERCURY!!!

Carl, Relius, Arakune and Celica appear on stage.
Carl: What the! Why are YOU here, Relius?!
Relius: I may ask the same of you...umm... what's your name again? No matter, I honestly don't care.
Kuno: Wow, I know you're a terrible father, but you forgot your own son's name...that is completely monstrous...then again, you do see humans as just tools, so I'm not shouldn't be surprised.
Arakune: A...ure...A...ure....AZURE!!! (Attacks Ragna)
Ragna: OH SHIT!!!
Kuno: BOB!!!
Bob: On it! (Grabs Arakune by wrapping his arms around his body and put it in a beaker)
Arakune: L...O...Me...
Litchi: Excuse me! Don't put him in some large beaker!
Kuno: Hey! My job is to make sure none of you guys are injured or else I'm gonna have to pay for medical bills! Anyways...
Litchi: ... (Still a bit angry)
Kuno: Next is our local mercenary nicknamed 'Butt-floss', Ninja butler, A womanizing rebellious general of NOL and the one with three souls... BULLET, HIBIKI KOHAKU, KAGURA MUTSUKI AND PLATINUM THE TRINITY!!!

Bullet, Hibiki, Kagura and Platinum appears on stage.
Bullet: What the hell!? I thought this is a soldier training camp.
Kagura: I thought this is a party of hot babes! What the heck?! Oh, (Smiles) hey Ragna!
Ragna: Huh? Oh, hey, Kagura.
Kagura: How are you doing, man?
Ragna: Nah, nothing much except the fact we're in some FUCKING GAME SHOW!!!
Kagura: ...(Turns to Hibiki) Hey Hibiki, are you sure this is the right place?
Hibiki: Yes general, this is the place according to the map.
Kagura: (Eyes widen) ...Were we tricked? (Calms down) Oh well, at least we have some fine babes if I say so myself (To Noel) especially you, Miss Vermillion.
Noel: (Blush) Huh?! Well, I...
Jin: Why do you constantly flirt with women, especially the trash-pig?
Kagura: ... (Walks over to Jin and punch him in the gut!)
Jin: Gah! (Collapse to the floor)
Kagura: That's what you get for calling a woman trash, especially someone like the pretty Noel.
Jin: ...Owww...
Noel: Kisaragi, are you okay?
Jin: ...Go...go away...bitch... blah! (Became unconscious)
Kuno: Welp...that was something, then again, he IS going against a general, so that is to be expected.
Platinum (Luna): Oi! You told me this is a candy buffet! Not a party for paedophiles!
Ragna: Oi, shut up you bratty bitch!
Platinum (Luna): Bring it on, Ragna the Loli-edge!
Ragna: Grr... IM NOT A FUCKING LOLICON!!!
Kuno: Oi! No fighting! At least, for now.
Ragna: Good, I'm gonna enjoy beating the crap out of you, brat!
Platinum (Luna): Let's see about that, pedo!
Platinum (Sena): Luna, you gonna make him angrier than usual!
Platinum (Luna): And do I look like I give a fuck!
Platinum (Sena): I...I guess not.
Platinum (Luna): Good.
Kuno: Next is our favourite bombastic ninja, the steeled samurai, the woman with a sense of justice and feminine like male dancer... BANG SHISHIGAMI, HAKUMEN, TSUBAKI YAYOI AND AMANE NISHIKI!!!

Bang, Tsubaki, Amane and Hakumen appears on stage.
Amane: Huh? I thought this is a dancing class?
Bang: LITCHI!!! (Runs towards Litchi) Litchi, are you okay?! I was told you were kidnapped and-
Litchi: I'm fine, Bang! I was never kidnaped in the first place...though; I guess everyone was trick in here one way or another.
Bang: What?! Who dares trick us?! Who is this unjust trickster?
Kunoichi: (Hands up with a derpy look) I did it. (Kitty smile and dots eyes expression)
Hakumen: Why on earth did you invite the Black beast here?
Ragna: And why the hell are you still an ass?
Hakumen: Well, I make sure I'll-Oh wait...I gave my sword to the security...damn it...
Tsubaki: Noel? Makoto?
Makoto/Noel: TSUBAKI?! (Runs up to Tsubaki and hugs her)
Tsubaki: Woah! Makoto? Noel? What are you guys doing here? I was never told you guys would be here.
Makoto: We were trick into some game show or something like that.
Tsubaki: What?! I was told this is an important, private interview. (Notices Jin)...What happened to Jin?
Makoto: Well...he got hit by some object or something.
Tsubaki: ...I hope he's okay.
Makoto: Yeah, don't worry about it, he should be fine.
Tsubaki: ...Yeah, you're right...I hope.
Kunoichi: Next is the blue-haired spear-wielder, the brunette high scholar with the Hunter's eye, the mad dog and the guardian of the Azure gates... MAI NATSUMI, NAOTO KUROGANE, AZREAL AND ES!!!
Everyone: WHAT?!

Mai, Naoto, Azreal and Es appear.
Azreal: Well, I'm quite disappointed that this isn't a fighting tournament, but there are so many fighters here, so this will satisfy my hunger.
Naoto: Oh god, why do I have a feeling this place will get VERY crazy very soon
Ragna: (Jokingly) Hey 'Uncle'
Naoto: Don't call me! Just because you're technically my nephew, that doesn't mean you can call me uncle, besides, it makes me feel old.
Ragna: Yeah, well, deal with it!
Es: Mmmm...This must be part of the will of the Azure. In that case, I would gladly take part of this strange event.
Mai: Hi Makoto, Noel and Tsu, how you guys doing?
Noel: (Surprise) Mai! What are you doing here?
Mai: Well, I was told I am entering a game show with you guys, so I got excited and, well, here I am.
Tsubaki: So you weren't trick to be here.
Mai: Huh? What do you mean by trick? (To Kuno) Kuno, what the hell did you tell my friends?
Kunoichi: Oh, you'll find out, next is our sadistic masochist, Ragna's master, sociopathic god and the goddess of death herself... HAZAMA HONOKA, JUBEI, YUKI TERUMI AND HADES IZANAMI!!!
Everyone (Except Azreal, Jin, Arakune and Relius): ARE YOU SERIOUS?!

Ragna: You know what, fuck this place, fuck Terumi, fuck you, I'm fucking getting out of here!
Noel: Anything but Terumi, Relius and Izanami, ANYTHING BUT TERUMI, RELIUS AND IZANAMI!!!
Makoto: Don't worry Noellie, I'll protect you!
Tsubaki and Mai: SAME!!!
Kokonoe: FUUUUUUUUUUU.....
Rachel: Welp...how do commoners say nowadays, oh yes... We are screwed.

Hazama, Terumi, Jubei and Izanami appear on stage.
Izanami: Well...well...well, what do we have here; sad, pathetic little saps that will be sacrificed.
Terumi: Wow, there are a lot of victims I could troll with, let's see...oh, hey Ragna! No, no, no, oh yes, no, no, oh its vampire bitch, yes, totally, oh what's up Relius? And its complain bitch AKA doll face AKA Noel Vermillion AKA Mu-No-12-.
Hazama: I thought this is a torture game show?
Jubei: Hey Ragna, I didn't expect you- (Notices Konoe and Kokonoe) ....
Konoe: ...
Kokonoe: ...
Kuno: Well, this is quite an awkward family reunion, so...now that everyone is here, I can finally get to the 'truth'. (Confuses everyone except Izanami, who is just smiling, and Terumi, who is holding back his laughter) The truth is...this is a game show...except not your typical one with the quizzes and stuff.
Litchi: Wha...what do you mean by that?
Kunoichi: I meant that this game show is where all of you will have to do very dangerous challenges like...jumping into a big fat hole or have a paint shotgun war!

Everyone (Except Azreal, who is grinning, Hazama, who sadistically smiles, Terumi who started laughing along with Izanami): (Gasp) WHAT?!
Kuno: But...if you don't kill me AND do this challenge, I found a very special object that can grant any wishes your heart desire.
Everyone: SERIOUSLY?!
Kuno: Dead serious.
Tager: You're not toying with us, are you?
Kokonoe: Yeah, for all we know, you could be lying to our asses.
Kuno: Relax, in fact, I have it right here (Shows them the object; which is a glowing golden seed) I like to call it the 'wishing seed' which will grant anybody anything they desire for just one simple wish.
Everyone: Wow...
Kuno: Now will you play my game?
Everyone: (Unsure, but nodded anyways)
Kuno: Good, now this is the rules; there will be a lot of challenges that have very different from each other to make this show more fun and unique, but there is one rule that will stick out.
Tsubaki: And that rule is?
Kuno: I have a 5-star hotel set up for you guys to sleep in.
Ragna: Seriously?! (Smiles) That's so awesome.
Kunoichi: But here's the catch; the winner will not be taken part of 'Wheel of shame' while everybody else will have to take part of it and it's purely random.
Naoto: Wait a minute, what will happen to the contestant who gets chosen
Kuno: Simple, you'll be kicked out of here and are not allowed to take part of the game show anymore.
Everyone: WHAT?!
Kuno: Hey! Look at the bright side, at least you'll be staying at the 5-star hotel all day and have a tour to spend your time or whatever you guys want to do, but on the other hand, you can't have the ultimate prize sadly.
Rachel: Well, I loathe the idea of losing this game and besides, this idea sounds quite interesting, don't you agree Valkenhayn?
Valkenhayn: Well-said, milady, though out of my mere concern, I strongly suggest you stay open-minded just in case we ever lose.
Rachel: ...You have a point there, Valkenhayn, I should keep that suggestion in mind.
Valkenhayn: Thank you milady.
Kuno: For tonight, all of you will be staying at the 5-star hotel and afterwards, all of you must rely on your wits, strength and everything else you guys got...except for your weapons and your ars Magus unless a challenge allows it.
Mai: That...explains why the security took our weapons away.
Azreal: However, I still have my strength, so...
Kuno: Hey! You are not allowed to use your powers unless the challenge allows it! If you dare cheat, you will send to a place much worse than getting voted out; the dumpster! And if you guys try to kill me, then not only will you guys get into prison, as my will; I'll have this wishing seed completely destroyed.

Izanami: Foolish mortal, you may be able to get the others arrested, but as I am the former Imperator of the NOL and the goddess of death, it will be impossible to achieve.
Kunoichi: Sure, but the seed will get destroyed as the result of my death AND this is the only one available to this world, meaning if this gets destroyed, your wish will never be brought to life.
Izanami: ...Sneaky little mortal.
Kuno: Now get ready for our first challenge because that day will have a very big event coming up. Also, I manage to get some ubers to take you guys to the 5-star hotel, but don't break anything or else you guys have to pay with your OWN money! Got that?
Everyone: (Nodded)
Kuno: Good. Now go while I talk with the audience.
Terumi: Looks like I better find a way to fuck with everyone's minds tonight, ha ha ha!
Jubei: I have a bad feeling about this, Ragna.
Ragna: YOU THINK?!

Then, all of the contestants left.
Kuno: (To the audience) now you get to know our contestants a little bit. I will explain the rules; - the challenges have to 'all for themselves' so not teamwork and stuff.
- All of the characters must be involved.
- You are allowed to invite one guest character depending on the challenge-No OC guests! Sorry (Example; having everyone wear hats while being chased by Soldier from TF2 or keeping their pizzas away from Chica from FNAF. Just to name a few examples)
- The challenges don't have to be original; you can based it off from something if you don't have any originals. For example, the examples I made are from one of SMG4's videos.
- No sex challenges! Because I don't want to make any sex scenes in any of my books, sorry, but that's how it runs here.
- It's comedy, so don't take anything serious and I will make a bunch of references to other series, so I will put a mark and a number so that I can link you guys to the references, just in case.
- Have fun and be wild with your challenges, besides those rules, make any challenges! Heck, maybe the food fight from RWBY vol 2 and the King's game from Persona 4 will be good challenges! I hope you enjoy this chapter and laugh even a least a bit. So next chapter is where the book really starts, so please a challenge in the comment section and I will pick it randomly to give everyone a fair chance. I hope you enjoy this, my ninja clan. Kuno out!
Audience: (Claps their hands as Kuno and Bob left the stage)

Kuno - I do not own those characters besides Bob and...well..me. The contestants belong to Blazblue, created by Arcs system Works.