Sometimes, the long paths do not take you to your favourite destination.

-----------------------------------------+----------+----------+--------

                   Chapter-43

Do you know? When I was a child I've always adored the sky beyond its limit because at that time I didn't know that it does not have any limit it is neverending like infinity.

Those ruffly bundled up clouds whenever looked at me they would be made my mind High, so high that I would get thrilled about it, and think about everything which I don't have.

Now! I know I'm being stupid by recovering all those things which had happened in the past. And I've no idea why I'm thinking all these things at this moment in time...

But still, I couldn't back away from the hollowness of my chest. Every time I thought that someday I will be able to fly high in the clouds with only eagerness waiting to achieve, the only truth to be told, only miles to wander to find That missing spot from my chest. That unsettling cramping of my heart to fade away.

But who would have thought? I was living in a delusion?

Who could have thought everything was a lie in my life! Just a complete lie.

I was hoping to change my end without knowing about the beginning?

And only today I realized how stupid I was to fall in all those lies, to fall in all those traps, to fall from a high rollercoaster into nothing, and be still paranoid at the same time.

All those splurgy fainted images of myself were floating into my head. Whenever I search for my father, to those millions of time when I cried for my mother belongingness, to those subtle ways of asking her about my father.

And in reply, I only got her own story of her which she believed which she plastered in my head to make me believe and sometimes she tells me that he is dead that she is the only parent for me to care.

And just like a lost sick puppy, I would believe everything she has said to me.

And if that was not enough that sublet imaginary bubble has popped one day and the shame took me over. Shame! Yes, it was the same for me which encouraged me to find him all alone.

But things couldn't have been simpler like this before. I thought... I thought! The fucking I thought I know everything that I'm doing but here revoking at this moment I realized I don't!
I don't bloody know who the hell I am? 
And who is this guy?

My heart is beating, just beating in the plumpness of the numeric rhythm of numbers so fast that I couldn't even think straight.

All those things after he came into my life was planned?

Don't be stupid!

I'm not being stupid because I'm stupid. Stupid enough to not realize what the hell is happening around my surrounding.

"Amanda! Amanda!"

A fainted voice entered my hearing and there was all black in which I was lying. I was surrounded by darkness and nothing.

The rise and fall of my chest make me wonder if I'm going to die, is this the end of my life? Is this how I am going to die without knowing anything? Without actually being married,  or without having anything real in my life.

Shut up! You are being overdramatic. This is just a small panic attack, not a god damn it a heart attack.

Oh. So, I'm not going to die.

"Wake up now! Otherwise... Otherwise... I'll kiss you right here right now!"

If he wanted to kiss you he shouldn't have said something like this. He will just do it without asking about it.

No! The hell inner voice can you just be silent for a moment I don't want a kiss right now. The hell after all the things he is seriously suggesting it.

My eyes were heavy, and my head was spinning still his voice echoed through my heart like it is going to rip it out into different pieces.

A voice in my head is saying me to trust him, but other than that a larger part of my voice is telling me to back away before the truth hurts me for no good.

Still,  I don't have any choices left maybe he is right and maybe he knows about my father. Comprehend, I don't have any idea where he is or not have enough time to find him here. Maybe he can be my key to finding him maybe he is my only hope, and at this moment the only thing I needed the most is hope.

Relectitevly, I met my eyes with his which were already looking at me. Ignoring all the blissfully stars of the sky, ignoring the chime of rust full wind, and ignoring the waves of an ocean.

He ignored all the things just to get lost in the devotion of my eyes...

"H- how?" I shuttered.

"Oh Amanda, you still have no idea about anything do you?

I have no clue what he had said or what he said at this moment. It's like everything has just changed between us. A silence, not the dangerous one but the silence of expecting things and just looking into eyes fell between us.

His head was slit in one motion from side to side as he shook his head while thinking something brave enough to fully focus on that.

"After all those clues, after all the things you still have no idea about anything.." it was like he was talking with himself now more than me, and before I could mutter anything or do anything he forcefully grabbed my shoulders, "can't you see that I care for you damn it."

Wait for what? Care for me?

God damn it! Why is he so complex? At one moment, he was ravishing me with the truth and in the next moment, he was so close to being ready to break my heart into millions of pieces as if he had not done enough damage.

And what was the saying he has said? That we belong to each other?  was he saving this statement to be spoken then he hadn't been roaming around in the streets with kissing all the girls.
Or he had not had the title of a Playboy!

It's like a game. Deep and dead with mystery. Because you still have no idea what is going on around you.
Still, at least he knows about your father so let's go with that detail first.

I hold his hands. abruptly, when he was lost in his world.

"Please! I want to see my father. I want to meet him, Cole... Please help me.." I sobbed.

I didn't want to cry but I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't hold myself from breaking up myself ahead of him.

I---I'm feeling so vulnerable at this moment, and this strange place has everything to consume me in it. These stars gazing at me never knowing about anything just looking at me and this wind has engraved me its energy has something warm in it. The beach and its sand are comfortable than anything in this world. It like I would always rely my life on it, and this weather is so warm everything is so perfect, so demolished perfect that I'm afraid I would forget about everything I would get lost in it.

You know that's the thing about heart, it always demands what it wants ignoring all other reputations in it.

He didn't look at me took out his phone from his pocket and tapped something furiously in it. Hardly, able to keep up the stinging effect of my heart I stood up giving pressure to my foots ready to demolish the sand beneath me from the entity of my vicious made up mind.

He still didn't notice me. His jaw was clenched, veins were popping out from his neck and arms and there was something wrong in this situation with him.

It's like he... He was something else now, a dangerous one, and I might be very mean, or very selfish to do this but I have no choice except this.

I bowed down and grabbed his collar with both of my fists, so hard that it wouldn't be going to budge from that hard place.

Swift fully, I forced him to make eye contact with me, but still, he was not ready. As my touch flinched him he shivered with my contact.

Enough of this!

"I want to see him! Do you understand that? I want you to take me to him."
And with that, I didn't look right or left, I didn't look in his eyes, I didn't care about the stars and the mildly wave of air near us, I didn't care about the rhythmic wave of the water.

I only cared about the urgency to see David Parker.

***
It got more chilly and dark and sitting beside him in the front seat of the car everything started giving me goosebumps.

I think I might have gone bitchy because he has not spoken any word to me. There was no music playing inside the car, no reputations were being made by any side of us only the sound that came inside is the rise and down of our breathing.

His hands have flinched tightly at the steering wheel as he is going to budge that out from the car.

And above that, there were no cars around us. Not even any other vehicles; only a long path which we were following in silence. And it is disturbing because I may have a feeling that this silence is a dangerous one, a silence of before storm... As something big is going to happen...

What if he is going to kill you?
Or worse than that abandon you in the long lost middle of the dark????

These thoughts were started flowing in my head. Just to suppress the truth I thought that I should ask him. It's not that he is going to kill me, and what if he tried to do it? I have enough strength to fight against him after all I'm the smarter one.

Really?

Shut up! "Uh, Cole are you sure this is the way ahead to my Father's?" I fidgeted in my seat trying not to show any console dance on my face.

He didn't say anything, but what question he would expect from me?   There are no houses, no store buildings, no pavements, and not even a single human. Well, maybe humans are missing because it is the time of night, overwhelmed by the chilly atmosphere of the wind.

He didn't answer; in fact, he didn't even glance at me. Only speed up his car at the verge of breaking all the barriers between wind and the speed.

Maybe he is trying to challenge the wind, its flow. Maybe he is just trying to overcome himself by whatever thoughts of his.

For the first time in my life, I felt afraid of the result. I felt afraid of the outcome, I've goosebumps on my skin. And my heart? You better not want to get there... How much it is thrusting in my chest. How much it is making me sick.

But the urge to ask, the urge to know what is going to happen in these some future moments of life wanted me to ask once again...

"Are you not going to listen to me? Tell me if you are going to kill me so that I can fight with you."

I shield my arms ahead of my chest and gave him my death glare. If looks could kill he would be dead, or maybe I would be?

I don't know.

Somehow, the tone of my voice and the repulsive nature of this incident got his attention. And only for just a tiny little bit of moment I saw something in his eyes which  I never thought I would see in my entire life...

Pity!

Yess. That's what I see.

Still, I don't have any idea why?

A strange silence enveloped us when his black SUV halted to stop.

My heart was beating nonconstancy rising up and down against my willpower.

The scene was dead as our mutual understanding. There was not even a single house, not the stars were gazing at me, nor was the wind mildly floating in the air. Only a hunting scene was there to greet me in its power.

There is something strange about this world, and more than that something strange about gravestones,
They stood so cruelly, strangely against the wisdom of the modern world without expressing their truth. They have power, dare to break you down into millions of pieces.
Yet, somehow I ended up standing ahead of the gravestone in which David Parker was scribbled in it.

------------------------------------------------------------------+-----------------

Finally, after the long wait, I got the time to published this chapter

Hope you enjoy it❤❤❤❤

Though don't forget to do votes and make comments💕❤