Chapter 33 iMiss Those Days

"I don't want you to be alarmed, but your face is starting to resemble an overripe tomato," Zach stated.

Keeley's hair dragged across the carpet as she hung off her bed and shrugged.

"Is this some sort of new yoga practice?" he questioned. "You know, where you try to find your lost Zen or something?"

More like trying to piece together her broken heart. She contracted her abdominal muscles and raised her head. Zach stood in her bedroom doorway. His arms and feet were crossed as he leaned against the doorframe. "Now's not a great time, Zach," she told him. "I'm busy."

He eyed her upside down position. "Yes, you look positively bogged down with heavy thoughts."

She couldn't even muster a sarcastic remark. "I'm not in the mood to talk. Leave me alone."

Ignoring her wishes, he stayed where he was. "And yet you called Nicky to come over. Sounds like you want to talk to someone."

"Don't be difficult," she pleaded. "Not today. Not right now."

He thrust his lower lip out in an attempt to gain sympathy. "You can't make time for your favorite sibling?"

"You're my only sibling."

"Why must you always focus on the details?" he sighed.

"And why must you always overlook them?" she shot back.

"Because I don't want an ulcer by the time I'm twenty."

Since he obviously wouldn't let the issue go, she planted her hands next to her ears and braced herself. With one giant push, she flipped herself off the bed, over her body, and landed on her knees. After straightening her clothes, she propped her elbows on the edge of the bed and gave him a bland look. "Is there something particular you wanted to discuss or are you just bored and wanted someone to talk to?"

"I wanted to check up on you. You looked upset when he dropped you off. Did something happen?"

"Yes. Something happened," she answered flatly. She didn't want to talk about what happened with Talon, especially not to her brother. Which is the reason why she called Nicky.

"And that would be...?"

Keeley felt herself bristling at his question. "What exactly do you want to know?" she asked. The look she sent him was downright glacial. "Do you want to know that we had an argument? Or are you more interested in the fact that I found out about the photos he sent? Or maybe what you really want to know is if we're still together? Well, you can rest easy tonight, Zach. We broke up. No more evil Talon running amuck with your sister. That should make you ecstatic."

He drew in a deep breath through his nose and let a noisy exhale through his mouth. "I won't lie. It does. But I hate that it's at the expense of your happiness. I never wanted you to get hurt, Keels."

"But you wanted him out of my life," she stated rather than asked.

"Absolutely," he said with vigor. Zach unfolded his body and strode across the room. He plopped down on the opposite side of the bed. "He was never good enough for you. You deserve a guy who's going to cherish and respect you. Someone who understands what a treasure you are."

The harsh look in her eyes softened as she breached the space between them and squeezed his hand. "Thank you, but I'm not completely helpless. I can take care of myself."

"I'm not denying that. You're one of the most capable people I know. But JT has an uncanny ability to fool people. He presented himself to you as a different person than who he really is. I didn't want you caught up in that."

"Then why didn't you tell me all this to begin with? Why did I have to found out about what he did to Claire through him?"

Sighing, he leaned back, put his hands behind his head and settled into the pillows. "Like I said before, I have a lot of regrets about how I dealt with Claire. The biggest one was what happened after he leaked those photos. Everyone kept taunting me about getting JT's seconds. I was angry and embarrassed and..."

"Your pride was hurt," she filled in.

"A little." He paused, and then admitted, "Okay, maybe a lot. I hadn't realized she took those photos and shared them with him. And I had a hard time dealing with the snide remarks and constant harassing I got in the locker room. So instead of supporting Claire and standing by her like I should have, I ignored her." He bit out a curse. "I sound like a complete dick, don't I?"

"The biggest," she said, not sugarcoating the answer. She climbed in bed and stretched out next to him. 

"I hate myself for how I reacted," Zach continued. "In the beginning, she called and texted wanting to talk to me, but she stopped when she realized I wasn't answering on purpose. That's when I started to comprehend how badly I messed up. I called her repeatedly to apologize, to tell her how much I cared, even went to her house to beg forgiveness, but she refused to see me. However, she did send me a text right before she moved. Told me she didn't know what hurt more—the knowledge that I used her to win a stupid football game, or the fact that I wasn't there for her when she needed me the most."

He broke off as he tilted his head further back and swallowed. It took him several moments to be able to speak again and when he did, his voice was rough and uneven. "Then she asked if I would do one thing for her. I instantly agreed. At that point, I would have down anything to prove how much I still cared. I thought she was going to ask me to beat up Harrington or have me admit in front of the whole school what I did. But she didn't want any of that. " A look of disbelief and admiration crossed his face. "The only she wanted was a single promise. So I did it. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone what happened. And up until today, I kept my word."

Keeley let his confession soak in. A part of her understood, even respected, his motivation to keep his promise, but the other side of her wished he'd been upfront to begin with. It would have saved her hours of worrying and contemplating. Not to mention, she could have avoided a whole pile of misunderstandings.

"I have a question," she said, rolling onto her stomach. She propped her right elbow on the pillow and rested her chin on her hand. "Talon told me she said he was too intense, that's why she started liking you. But if she felt that way, then why did she send those photos?"

The ends of his lips turned down into a slight grimace. "I think she was always insecure about her relationship with JT. There were a ton of girls chasing after him and she thought the only way to keep his attention was to do something provocative. She knew it was a mistake as soon as she sent them, but once they're sent..." he trailed off and shrugged.

"What I don't get is how she can go from liking him so much she sends him revealing photos, to thinking he's too intense and cheating."

"Don't quote me on this, but the feeling I got from talking to her, was that he wasn't always so intense. It wasn't until later on in their relationship that it became too much for her."

Keeley could see that. Talon hid his intense personality behind a façade of jokes and arrogance. It wasn't until he started to trust a person that he revealed his true nature.

"I always thought their relationship was unbalanced," Zach added. His voice turned low and thoughtful as he contemplated. "Claire's personality is very understated, while JT is this huge, unstoppable force. He couldn't help, but run her over. The two of them together just didn't mix."

"But you and Claire did?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I find that hard to believe. You're exactly like Talon."

His upper lip curled into a snarl. He rolled over and showed her his back. "Why don't you just stick the knife in right now?"

"Come on, even you have to see the similarities."

"We're nothing alike," he adamantly stated, rolling back. "Harrington is the waves you see during a storm. He crashes into things and pounds his way through them until he gets what he wants. Take Claire for example. She's a delicate flower."

A delicate flower? Keeley thought to herself. Wow. He must really have it bad for this girl.

"She couldn't withstand that type of pressure and wilted." He slapped the back of his hand against the palm of his other hand. "What Harrington needs is someone who has the backbone of steel, someone who's not going to cower. He needs the clash in order to keep himself interested. Trust me, even if Claire had stayed with him, they wouldn't have lasted much longer."

"And you?" she prodded. "What force of nature describes your personality?"

He puffed out his chest and sent her a crooked grin. "I'm like the wind. I can be wild and unsettled, but restrained when I want to be. That's why I am a good balance with Claire. Instead of making her bend to my will, I surround her and let her blossom naturally. I act as the background while she's the true star of the show."

Stunned by his insight, she leaned over and stared him in the eye. When he didn't so much as blink, she poked his nose and then pinched his cheek.

"Oww!" he yelped, shrinking back. "What was that for?"

"Just making sure it's really you in there."

"Who else would I be?"

"Aliens would be my first guess."

"And that required poking and pinching?" he griped, rubbing his skin.

"Stop being such a baby. You get tackled every day for football. I think you can handle a little alien testing," she told him. "Besides, it seems perfectly reasonable to me when you suddenly start spouting all these philosophies."

"I don't know why you're surprised," he sniffed, pointing his nose in the air. "After all, I am the smart twin."

She gave his stomach a good whack. "That's up for debate."

"Is it?" he asked with a small smirk on his face. "Let's take a tally. Who has made the honor roll every year since middle school?" He made a big show of raising his hand while Keeley kept hers down. "Who has never had to hire a tutor?" Again, Zach raised his hand while Keeley rolled her eyes. "Who has never gotten below a C on a test? Who has—"

"Enough," she exclaimed, throwing a hand over his mouth. But that didn't stop him. He continued to talk, though his words come out muffled. She turned her ear towards him and said, "What is that you said? Keeley is the smarter and wiser twin? And she's also better than you in every way and you're lucky to have her as a sister?" She forced his head to nod up and down in an exaggerated motion and then sent him a blinding smile. "Aw, how sweet and kind of you to say, Zach! I don't mean to brag, but I always thought I was the better twin. It's reassuring to know you finally noticed it too."

In one smooth motion, he grabbed the pillow under his head, swung it around and hit her smack dab in the face. Before she could react, he jerked out of her hold and pinned her down. An evil smile graced his face as he treated her to a condescending pat on the head. "You have it the other way around, Keels. You're the lucky one. But don't worry. I won't hold this against you. You will always have the privilege of saying you know Zach Brewer. And who knows? Maybe I'll even let you be my assistant when I become rich and famous."

"How generous of you."

His shoulders heaved as he let out a long-suffering sigh. It sounded as if the world's problems were resting on him alone. "I know, but that's just the type of brother I am—caring and oh so, giving."

A wild burst of affection developed in her chest. "You're an idiot," she announced with a smile.

"Maybe," he replied, releasing his hold and dropping onto his back once again. "But you're the idiot's sister."

A beat passed, then she said, "Think of how proud Mom must be."

They both paused, and then in unison turned to look at each other. Rich brown met rich brown in one moment of silliness. The corner of Keeley's mouth quirked and that was all it took. Peals of laughter filled the room as they let themselves go.

"We haven't done this in a long time," she observed, when they finally calmed down and stopped laughing.

"I know." He turned his head a little so he could look at her. "Do you remember when we were little and you were afraid of the dark?"

Keeley puffed out an amused laugh. "I would wake up in the middle of night and hear noises."

His dark eyes twinkled with delight. "You would run into my room and swear there were little ninjas dressed in all black hiding under your bed waiting to grab you and take you away."

"I would force you to grab your light saber and fight them till I was sure I was safe again," she added fondly, the memory a good one.

"Then we would crawl into bed and I would tell you stories until we both fell asleep."

"I miss those days," Keeley sighed wistfully.

"Me too. I loved fighting imaginary ninjas." He pretended to grab a light saber and swing it around, slicing the air in various patterns. "I felt like such a badass."

Amused, she watched as he made zooming noises with his mouth as he proceeded to kill more bad guys. He was so goofy sometimes. It had to be the biggest misconception about him. While Talon hid his intensity, her brother hid his dorkiness.

As he pretended to power down his sword, he added, "But what I miss most of all is how you would look at me—like I could conquer the world."

"I still do," she insisted.

"It's not the same. You use to come to me when you had a problem. Now, you order me out of your room and call Nicky." He flashed her a quick grin, but there was sadness in his eyes. "It seems the only time I have your full attention is when I call you to pick me up from a party."

Stunned by this revelation, she scrambled to find something to say, but nothing came out except a loud squeak.

"It's okay." He patted her hand. "I get it. Girl solidarity and all that jazz, but sometimes I wish you would turn to me when you're having a rough time."

"I didn't know you wanted me to," she managed to say. "You're always so busy with football and friends. I didn't think you wanted to be bothered."

"I don't know if you remember, but I use to be pretty mean to Nicky when she first started coming over."

She snapped her fingers. "I do remember that! You got in trouble all the time because you would bury her stuff in the backyard and never call her the right name."

"It's not because I had a crush on her like everyone believed," he explained dryly. "The reason I acted that way was because I was jealous. After you met her, I ceased to exist. It was always, 'Nicky this' or 'Nicky that.' You found a new best friend and I was demoted to just being your brother. I hated that."

"But—But you had football. You signed up for the summer camp that year and I never saw you."

He snorted. "The only reason I signed up for football was because I needed something to occupy my time. You were too busy with Nicky to hang out and the one time I tried, you yelled at me and told me to go away." He shrugged. "So I did."

The depth of emotion in those last three words astounded her. He was really hurt. He'd carried around this wound for years and never mentioned it. "I always thought that summer was a turning point for us. We started to drift apart and talk less. I thought it was all due to football. I never realize I was partly to blame."

"You aren't. By the end of the summer, it was due to football. I fell in love with it. I devoted all my time to playing and before I knew it, we had our separate interests and they didn't overlap."

"I should have tried harder though. I'm sorry, Zach." Especially because he did try.

He waved away her apology. "Like I said before, I get it. I can't talk clothes or boys or whatever you two giggle about. But I do wish you'd let me slay some of your imaginary ninjas again. It would be nice to feel like you rely on me, instead of the other way around."

"Wait," she said, her lips thinning. "Have you been purposefully drinking at parties so I'll come pick you up?"

He rolled his eyes. "Of course not."

"Good. You worried me there for a second."

His grin turned sly as he added, "However, I may or may not turn down the other sober drivers so you'll be forced to spend time with me in the car."

"Do you know how many times you've disrupted my sleep?" she cried in outrage. She jabbed his stomach again. "Here's a thought, doofus—walk across the hall to my room and ask to spend time with me!"

"Eh," he replied. "Pretending I needed a ride seemed easier."

"In what planet is that considered easier?" she exclaimed.

He fluttered his lashes as he tried to charm away her anger. "But I felt so loved."

A knock on the door interrupted her comeback. Her mother poked her head inside and smiled when she saw the two of them. "I was wondering where you were, Zach. This reminds me of when you were young."

"We were just reminiscing about that," Keeley told her.

"All I can remember is the panic I felt the first time I saw Zach's empty bed. I ran to your room to see if you were gone as well and instead I found the two of you fast asleep." Smiling, she shook her head slightly. "Anyway, Nicky's downstairs waiting for you, Keeley."

"Why didn't she come up?"

Her mother's expression turned wry. "I think the plate of homemade cookies distracted her."

"Typical," Zach snorted. He swung his feet off the bed and stood after their mother left. "I'm going to go hang out with some friends."

She stopped him before he made it to the doorway. "Zach, wait. I don't want you to leave this way. I mean I have to go, but—"

"It's fine," he said, cutting her off. But if his tone was any indication, it was anything but fine.

"Are you free tomorrow? Maybe we can hang out? Just the two of us?"

"I'm busy," he clipped out. The instant her face fell, he softened his tone and cast her an apologetic look. "There's a scrimmage game after school. How about we plan something this weekend?"

Her face visibly brightened. Her relationship with Talon might be over, but the relationship with her brother was getting better by the minute.

Her mother's face peeked in again. "I don't mean to interrupt, but Nicky's going through my cookies at an alarmingly fast rate and I'm starting to get worried."

Concerned, Keeley pushed her way through the doorway and bounded down the stairs. She came to a screeching halt when she saw her best friend. It looked like she was having a melt down. Mascara streamed down her face and she had a cookie fisted in both hands. She sniffed in random intervals as she alternated her bites between the two.

"What happened?" Keeley asked, rushing to sit down beside her.

"H-He wants t-to m-marry her," she stuttered, throwing her arms around Keeley's neck and crying into her shoulder.

Keeley stroked her hair as she tried to understand what Nicky was saying. "Who wants to marry who?"

"M-My mom," she cried, tightening her hold.

A sinking feeling took hold. She'd been so wrapped up in her own problems with Talon she forgot Nicky was meeting the man her mother was dating. "He told you this?"

"O-One of h-his daughters did." She hiccupped. "Said he really loves her a-and she hadn't seen her dad so infatuated before."

"Shhh," Keeley whispered in a soothing tone. "It'll be okay."

"No, it won't! I don't w-want a stepfather."

Keeley wracked her brain trying to think of the right thing to say. "How is the guy? Is he nice?" Nicky's shoulders moved, but Keeley couldn't tell if it was a shrug, or an accidental movement from crying. "What about his daughters? Do you like them?"

She pulled back slightly. Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, she said, "They're o-okay I guess. But what do I know? I just met them."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw her mom place a tissue box on the table. Sending her a silent thank you, she grabbed the box and held it out to Nicky. "This might be a false alarm. They may not get married at all. And even if they do, it could turn out to be the best thing that's ever happened. Does your mom seem happy at least?"

Her features softened. "I've never seen her happier," she whispered.  

"That's the important thing, right? And look at the bright side. You're leaving for college next year. If they do marry, you don't have to live with them."

"That's true." Nicky's brows pulled together as she took another bite. "And he didn't seem pushy. You know how I hate pushy."

Keeley nodded solemnly. The reason Nicky didn't like a pushy person was because she was pushy herself, but Keeley decided to keep that thought silent. "Tell me everything that happened this afternoon. Start at the beginning."

She listened as Nicky described all the awkward moments. It wasn't until an hour later that she asked, "Why didn't you tell me you were meeting him when you came by the shop this morning?"

A slight blush colored Nicky's cheeks. Ducking her head, she fidgeted with one of the cookies. "You seemed so down. I didn't want to burden you with my problems."

"Nicky," she said, squeezing a hand. "Your problems are my problems. This is a two-way relationship. You can't keep on giving without expecting me to give as well. Lean on me a little. I have big shoulders. I can take it."

Nicky lifted her head. Her cheeks creased as she grinned. "You do have abnormally broad shoulders."

Feet thudded down the stairs. By the sound of them, she knew it was Zach. She cringed as he ambled into the room. The last thing she needed was for Zach to say something insensitive and bring down Nicky's mood. She sent him a silent message through their twin bond. She could only hope he understood it.

She held her breath as he paused behind her chair. He stilled for a brief moment. She could feel his surprise as he took in the scene. Then a half-beat later, he continued on and moved past them without a word. She thought they were in the clear, but suddenly he stopped short. Sending her a puzzled look, he asked the last thing she expected.

"Keels, why do you have cookie crumbs in your hair?"

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