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[43]: "Jealous."

"So these are your desks." Jeanne Mitchell gestured with one hand, a smile on her long, neatly made-up face. She was a tall, thin woman with caramel skin and nice, dark curls that framed her oval face, and she wore a bespoke pantsuit that emphasized her importance in the company even before she'd introduced herself.

I looked at the aforementioned work area, feeling a low hum of excitement course through me. The hall we were seated in was sort of a bullpen, with cubicles that separated each intern. However, the rows of cubicles mirrored each other, so you weren't completely isolated. All you had to do was turn around or lean back a little to get in a quick word with your cubicle-mate. I had been looking forward to meeting them but their chair was currently empty.

I guessed the fact that Gideon and I were married must've been what resulted in this seating arrangement because while our chairs and desks were directly opposite from each other—facing each other, even—there was a cardboard wall separating us, and you couldn't talk or do anything unless you were standing up.

And standing up to steal a quick kiss in the middle of a busy office wasn't exactly workplace etiquette.

"Great." Gideon surveyed his own desk, offering a quick nod of greeting to his cubicle-mate, a red-haired girl who looked about our age.

Ms. Mitchell leaned close, "No one on this floor, except me, of course, knows who you are. While it's your decision whether or not you'd like to tell people, I'd strongly advise staying anonymous." She lowered her voice further, glancing between the two of us, "People have a tendency to feel skittish around top management."

Top management? More like, the damned major shareholder and owner of the company—well, heir to the owner, but that was just semantics.

The boss' boss' boss' boss.

"Got it," Gideon said confidently, while I just nodded. I mean, Marshall and Gideon and even Jeanne Mitchell might think it, but I wasn't under any delusions about taking over. I'd be happy with a neat management job and a nice paycheck.

Ms. Mitchell gave us a curt smile. "I've left a few files and appropriately named folders in your computers. Today, we'll start with something simple, the basics of which you must've already gone through in school. I want you to review the given balance sheets of one of our branches, compare growth trends to relevant changes in marketing, and find out what might've been the problem. Also, I'd like you to simultaneously go through and understand how it has affected our tax returns."

"Alright." I nodded.

"I understand there might be questions. You can feel free to talk about them to your fellow interns or you can wait until the hour is up to ask me. If I'm not available, my associate will be happy to help you."

"Thank you," I smiled.

"The pleasure is mine." The woman whirled and briskly walked away, making speed-walking across a slippery smooth marble floor in five-inch stilettos look like nothing.

Gideon and I took our respective seats. I'd just started clicking through the various folders on my desktop when a person fell into the chair behind mine with a heavy thud. I spun around with an excited grin, only to be met with a tired-looking man who must be in his forties easily.

"What are you looking at, kid?" He glared, "Yeah, I'm an intern too. Deal with it." He shook his head, spinning away and muttering under his breath, "Fucking 2000's kids."

Ooohhh-kayyyy.

"Sorry," I murmured, not really meaning it. Shaking my head, I went back to clicking on each file to first see what they were all about when I heard the familiar, yet strangely out of place sound of Gideon laughing quietly.

It took me a beat to understand that it was only out of place because Gideon rarely laughed that way in public. Immediately, I was filled with a sense of accomplishment, but that quickly vanished when I realized that if I was sitting here silently, what was making him laugh like that?

"I mean, who does she think she's fooling? There were huge newspaper announcements and millions of pictures on anyone who was anyone's social media." The wry note of humor in the female voice was followed by another amused chuckle from Gideon, "I'd have been there myself if I hadn't been at Cairns that week."

I tried hard not to listen in, but my attention kept going back to the chatting couple beyond no matter what.

Focus, Harvey, you're here to learn new things—

"Oh, Cairns." A spark of interest, "Beautiful beaches. I always loved the Australian beaches better. The green-blue water and white sands." A wistful sigh. "And scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef—!"

"Right!" The girl exclaimed, "Schools of colorful fishes everywhere! It's so—"

"—magnificent."

"I was going to say fantastic but that works, too."

Another laugh that slid over me like silk.

"It's even better when you have a winter home over there." The girl added.

"Of course. I was just there last November but I can imagine it was pretty warm during December too."

And so it went on.

For the next two hours, Gideon and mystery rich girl kept talking about the various places they've been to across the globe, in low voices that seemed to be reaching no one except me. Considering the work Ms. Mitchell had assigned us was something Gideon would've completed in under fifteen minutes, I couldn't shoot him a quick text to focus on the work without sounding like a possessive partner.

I tried as much as I could to tune out their nostalgic voices, trying so very hard not be jealous about the girl's dip in a rooftop hot-tub that'd had an undisturbed view of the Eiffel tower—apparently, Gideon had done that too, though, with whom was not discussed—about having so much fun in the Swiss alps that they'd completely lost track of time and had to be ushered away by the employees to get the last cable car down, and how they both felt like they had to go see the Vatican Museum again because once was definitely not enough.

It seemed like they agreed on everything.

Thankfully, the tasks assigned were not that hard for me either because I thought I'd lose my frickin' mind.

Sitting through those two hours felt worse than getting my nails pulled one by one. Slowly.

Finally, when the huge digital clock above announced in a mechanical voice that it was 9 pm, the interns logged off, while the other half of the floor stood up to leave for their short break. The evening shift's employees were gonna be here till 12, so they probably needed their coffee fix.

"Hey, babe." Gideon noticed that I'd stood up first, because the girl had her attention fixed on my husband, her hands waving about animatedly as she was still in the middle of comparing her skydiving experience at South Africa and New Zealand.

"Hey . . ." I blanked out for a second when I took my first proper look at Gideon's cubicle-mate. At first, all I'd noticed was the lustrous red hair, but what I'd failed to see earlier was that she was drop-dead gorgeous.

Like supermodel level gorgeous.

And she didn't even seem to be making that much of an effort besides some basic makeup from the looks of it. She was just dressed in a simple shirt and trousers combo that looked like something she'd hastily picked out of the latest Gucci collection on her way out.

". . . who's your new friend?" I pasted on the friendliest smile I could muster under the circumstances. I knew I shouldn't feel insecure, I mean, Gideon had admitted that he had feelings for me that went beyond friendship, and he could be dating anyone in the world—like say, a duke or even a princess—but he'd chosen to be with me so that had to count for something, but this uneasy feeling that was bubbling unhappily in my gut?

That was definitely jealously.

Gideon looked at me for a second too long before turning back to introduce us, and I had a feeling that I'd just let the cat out of the bag. "Alyssa, this is Harvey, whom you've already heard about from all the news articles, and Harvey, this is Alyssa Hammond, daughter of Ian Hammond."

The name struck a chord immediately, "Hammond as in Hammond Inc.—"

"Hammond Inc., yes, the resort chain across the globe." Alyssa finished for me, grinning in an easy-going manner that I disliked for no reason at all. "There was an incident—a party that got out of hand—I'm a freshman at Cal-State like I already told Gideon—and this is the price I have to pay. Interning here for six weeks."

"How nice." I mirrored her wide smile, while on the inside I was thinking, 'Six weeks? Six more weeks of this?'

Gideon stood up—finally—followed by Alyssa, who grabbed her purse and slung it over her shoulder. We walked in the direction of the elevator, and I was hoping I wouldn't have to talk or hear one more word from Alyssa Hammond when—

"So, Gideon, where did you two go on your honeymoon?"

Great. More questions.

"Uh," Gideon looked at me before chuckling, "We didn't actually. School was about to start so we didn't have the time."

"No honeymoon?" Alyssa looked like she might have an aneurysm. "But you could've just skipped a few days of school! Or gone the week before your wedding—I mean, who cares. It doesn't have to be after."

"Right." Gideon shrugged, while I was rewinding back to our pre-wedding days with amusement. Right, a honeymoon before would've been the exact thing that resulted in one of us murdering the other. I was surprised when instead of just leaving it at that—I mean, one-word answers were pretty much his patented 'thing'—Gideon elaborated further, "But Harvey is very independent and doesn't let me spend money on him."

He did not just say that to a stranger.

"Oh." Alyssa glanced at me in sympathy, and her expression conveyed her thoughts clearly. 'What a poor boy. Can't even afford a trip to Bora Bora.' "But it could take years."

They just wouldn't let it go, would they?

"I'm a patient guy." Gideon took my hand and gave it a squeeze. "Whatever he needs."

Way to make me sound like a dirt-poor, trash-bag who married you for money, Gideon.

Well, that is technically what you did, an evil voice whispered in my head. So.

Oh my God. That thought was so out of the blue, yet rang so true that I felt it right down to my bones.

As long as I was married to Gideon, I could never prove to him that I really loved him. That my heart would shatter beyond repair if he ever wanted to end this because he was the best thing that had ever happened to me. That I loved every single thing about him—and not just his looks—from his beautifully generous heart to his protectiveness and sometimes, I even loved the way he'd get possessive. I loved how he found beauty in everything and showed it to the world through his art. I loved how he tried to see the best in people even when he pretended to be some grouchy, people-hating, anti-social person. I loved how he fearlessly called out people who bullied others.

And I loved that he loved Rory like his own.

On top of it all, I was in love with the way he let me be the one to have glimpses of that part of him that was vulnerable and trusted me to be by his side despite the number his parents did on him.

But Gideon would never believe any of that wholeheartedly. He'd never see how I'd been in love with him and denying it my whole freaking life, right from when I'd first laid eyes on a hesitant dark-haired boy who'd been subtly scowling at everyone at that birthday party all those years ago, as if he were on the outside looking in. I'd instantly wanted to take him in my arms, make him my best friend and love him so hard that he felt protected from all the ugly things in the world.

Too bad he'd said he didn't want to be my friend, but that was a story for another day.

He was never going to accept any of that, though. I couldn't really blame him because someone who really loved you was an equal—a person who stood beside you and helped reduce the weight that the world put on your shoulders. It was most definitely not someone who mooched off your family assets and made you a father at eighteen because his baggage was too much to handle on his own.

It was also not someone for whom you'd have to make a million sacrifices like live with a baby all through college, spend spare evenings babysitting instead of partying and wait for five fucking years to go on a fucking honeymoon.

Oh my God. What have I done?

I've trapped Gideon into this thing he didn't even want in the first place.

"Babe?" A hand on my elbow shook me out of my reverie. I swallowed, feeling my limbs shake and quiver as if I'd run a marathon. Looking around, I took note that we'd reached the underground parking lot, and tried to make my voice sound as normal as possible when I said, "Yes?"

"Alyssa just asked us to dinner. What do you say?"

More like Alyssa asked you to dinner, Gideon.

"Uh," I stared at him blankly, unable to form a polite reply in light of my realization. It felt like I'd just been struck by lightning, and soon I was probably gonna curl up in a corner and start rocking back and forth.

"Maybe next time, Ally." Gideon smiled politely at her and took my hand, leading me to the car. I followed blindly, doing my best to take deep breaths and get over myself, because if I compared 'putting food in Rory's tummy and giving him a good life' to 'me feeling like shit and getting rejected by Gideon soon, Rory would win any day.

It wasn't the time to be having a pity party for myself when there was an infant who had no one except me to depend on.

Oh, how I wish my family hadn't abandoned me completely.

I miss you, Mom and Dad. I miss you, Alayna.

"Harvey." Gideon's voice was firm and loud like he'd been repeating my name several times. I realized we had buckled in and his hand was on my thigh, squeezing, "Babe, what's wrong? Are you okay? You know you can tell me anything."

"Yeah," My smile was shaky at best, but it was all I could summon, "Yeah. I'm just—you know, a little jealous."

It wasn't exactly a lie, but more like a gross understatement that was akin to saying a tiger was just a kitten.

You belong with someone young and carefree and rich like her.

"Jealous of whom?"

I cocked a brow.

"Alyssa!?" Gideon laughed like the thought hadn't even crossed his mind. "Right." He waved a mock-lecturing finger at me, "You better be careful or I'm running away with her." He carried on laughing, putting the car in drive and shooting Alyssa's white Aston Martin a wave as she pulled out too.

"Jealous of Alyssa," Gideon mumbled under his breath, chuckling more while I reached out and switched on the music system to fill the awkward silence.

You have no idea, Gideon.

No idea.

Question: If you win the lottery, what's the first thing you would do with the money?

I'd travel the world. Then worry about savings later.

Fun fact: One amazing thing happened while I'd gone AWOL. I traveled across Europe a little.

London, Paris, Brussels, Volendam, Cologne, Frankfurt, Zurich, Innsbruck, Pisa, Venice, Rome, and the Vatican. Man, those were the days. It just made me want to travel more. :)

NEXT UPDATE: June 6

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