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The cat's picana

Chapter 2: The Muttley Cook

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Victor presented himself to Father Esteban who was a Spanish priest and although everyone tells me that such nationality for a priest in Latin America is the height of the clichés, it is based on a very concrete past reality when Spain was an exporter of priests and the image of Generalissimo Franco.

Father Esteban had a plump constitution in his youth, but now age gave him a bill and a slim figure was all that was left of the once soft individual. He was characterized by being pious and understanding with the sins of men due to his old age that with each passing year, forced him to eat less and less. However, the man of God seemed to recover the appetite of yesteryear every Christmas Eve and his gastronomic demand was always oriented to a good picana.

As Victor with the handsome and gallant that he was, he immediately gained the trust of the priest and the old nuns of the place, something that did not happen with Renato, the black cat that saw him when the rascal took off the priest's suit that he had taken from the cathedral of La Paz.

Renato was very diligent in his work of catching mice, in fact, he was so efficient, that in all his years of service, never in the church or in his atrium, someone complained of the presence of any rodent.

Since the feline discovered him removing his priest's disguise as soon as he arrived at the church, he did not allow himself to be deceived and from that moment on he had him watched very closely.

Victor at first believed himself to be a fox in a henhouse when "the chickens" roamed the cunning fox to claim his attention, you know, forbidden fruit is always the best. Of course Renato stopped all the advances on both sides and the sly fox always abstained at the end of having a snack of one or two hens.

One day, the abusive thought to shelter in the darkness of the night and to leave his confinement, it would not be very difficult, after all, in Copacabana they always cut the light to the ten of the night and everybody put to sleep.

"Enough of that of not letting yourself be tempted by the pleasures of the flesh," thought the satyr with human skin, as he walked down the steps of his monastic cell. When he thought he was safe to commit the sin of carnal union before holy matrimony, he stepped on the tail of poor Renato.

The meow was so strident that Father Sebastian woke up with the palm of his hand on his chest and believing that the day of the final judgment had arrived.

But the candles on the priest's candlestick did not uncover the Messiah and his legion of angels, but Victor rubbing his ass.

"Hey, I swear I can explain this, Father Sebastian."

Well, one and a thousand explanations came but the old man knew that the young man was lying and so he let him know.

"Young Toro, to sin is human, but to forgive is divine."

The libidinous had been saved.

"Damn cat, he's going to pay for it," he thought, imagining one and a thousand ways to kill the diligent little creature.

Where he could not ruin the rascal's plans, it was in full mass; Renato was forbidden to enter the religious ceremony and therefore, the rogue gave himself his August by stealing what he could each time alms were collected.

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Taking advantage of Christmas Eve, the jerk traveled to Yunguyo and gave himself the life of a sybarite with the money destined to buy in the market, the necessary elements to prepare a rich picana.

"And now, what am I going to do," he thought desperately, after all Father Esteban and the nuns eagerly awaited the picana.

Needless to say, he had to save by buying things, fortunately, among so many human defects there had to be some virtue, and in his case it was the good cuisine with which our father had blessed him.

"Well, to kill two birds with one stone," he thought with malice as he did not forget his dark oath to the innocent kitty.

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The good night arrived and with it a good wine... Not consecrated for obvious reasons and of course, the main star: a rich dish of picana, which all the nuns opined that it tasted delicious and Father Esteban seemed that it tasted a little different this year, but still, he considered that the traditional dish of Bolivia was delicious.

"How strange, Renato usually shows up at this hour, when I see him I'll give him a bit... Are you sure you don't want a piece boy?"

"No, Father Esteban, my stomach hurts, I think I ate a lot before the picana, forgive me."

"Don't worry, son, remember: to make a mistake is human, to forgive is divine."

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After the holidays, and still no news of Renato. Father Esteban celebrated Mass and, as always, the scoundrel Victor appropriated the alms, when a voice was heard from above.

"A sin of seven that you have committed I have to announce well measured and you will reap what you have sown, you, who are not repentant ... For getting your employee pregnant, the next Christmas night you will be my picana".

All the parishioners looked up and turned their necks everywhere in a futile attempt to discover the origin of such a mysterious voice, which by the way and according to the comments of the believers once they left the church, was heard a bit feline.

Father Esteban was somewhat upset by what he thought was a joker, without noticing Victor's strange face.

"No, it can't be, he was certainly a joker. A coincidence, after all, I am not the first nor am I going to be the last to impregnate a moron", he thought while the weight of the stolen coins distracted him from thinking darker things and did not pay attention to the ominous warning said at mass.

CONTINUARÁ...

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