"There is no way I'm going down there," Rina said, glaring at Anat.

Lunch had finished. Most of the dishes sat washed and stacked, and small groups had paired off in the cramped space, whispering to themselves.

Anat crossed her arms. "You need to. When did you last forsake yourself?"

Rina's hand went to her chest. The crystal was warm beneath her skin, a slight itch building around it. Her cheeks burned. She struggled to meet Anat's eyes.

"You haven't since we left the city—I know that." Anat continued, oblivious to, or not caring about the way Rina shuffled her feet or turned to face the curtain that separated them from the rest of the room's inhabitants. "It's only one more floor down."

Rina calculated how long it would take her to cross the hall and climb the stairs. Coming down here had been a mistake. She should have known she'd be pressured into going further into the ship's unnatural bowels. Unfortunately, her legs were stiff as boards. She wondered if they would bend if she made a run for the exit.

"Rina! Are you listening to me?"

Sara placed a mug down with a thunk, neatly folded the cotton towel she'd been using, and walked around the table. "Anat is right, Rina," she said, voice even. "This change is a shock to you—I can see it in your eyes—which is why you must join us. We can't let our emotions build-up, particularly when we have nothing to funnel them into."

Shaking her head, Rina rubbed at her chest. It was starting to burn. Though the skin was long since knitted together, the old wound was a hot line. "I'll...maybe I can do it from the cabin."

"So it's true, then," spat Anat. "You have been with the captain. First Olav and now..." Anat's words dropped off as she shook her head, disbelief painted across her face, and Rina wanted nothing more than to melt into the shadows. Sweat coated her. Her hands felt strange, the air thick. Her throat tightened to the point of pain, but at least this kept her nausea down.

"I can't believe Mai even chose you. And the gods know why you were picked to teach the girls. You're nothing but a slut who gets what she wants when she should have been—"

"It's not like that, Anat! How could you think that of me? How?" Rina thought she would choke on the words. Her head spun. If she didn't find a way to stay down here, everyone would assume she was... The memory of kissing Fin, and his hands on her swept through her mind's eye, followed by that one kiss with Olav. Oh, gods! Maybe they were right.

"Enough, Anat."

Black blotches moved across Rina's vision, interspersed by those yellow lights, interfering with her sight. But she recognised Sara. "Can't you see she's panicking? She must have a phobia."

"Sara, she needs to get over it." The words came forced through Anat's teeth, harsh and frayed. "Magister Media said we had to do daily forsaking or—"

A slash of Sara's hand silenced Anat.

"I know what she said, but speaking to her like this won't get her to the chapel." A hand squeezed Rina by the shoulder. "Will you let me help you, Rina?"

Rina's heart tripped. The walls closed around her. She reached out and yanked back the curtain with a screech of metal on metal. A hush spread through the mess as the remaining sailors stared, then, quick as the lull had come, it disappeared, replaced by sniggers and course language.

She breathed deep, the sense of space filling her lungs. The air was still stale, but a few of the porthole windows were open, and tendrils of salty sea air tickled her face.

A steady palm settled on her back. "It's safe down there, Rina." Sara's hand began to move in smooth, sure circles. "Mai would never let harm come to us—especially after we were chosen by him. He has a purpose for us. For you. Trust in him. I can show you how to teach your mind this truth. Will you let me?"

Sara wore a serene expression, her brown eyes soft. A diagonal line of light causing them to sparkle. A cooling calm wrapped about Rina, like a silk sheet from the weavers guild. She realised that Sara was doing this—using her power. Did she even know she was? So much of what they did was unconscious. After the Magisterium identified their skills, they funnelled them into their allocated jobs—telling them what to do while preventing them from understanding.

Perhaps that was Mai's plan. The thought swirled in her mind. What if he had decided to show some of them how to harness their power, so they could wield their ability consciously—without being consumed by the taint? She wanted this. Bad. Yet she would need to trust Mai, and part of that was attending the chapel deep down in the ship.

She bit her lip. The prospect made her heart lurch again, and the urge to flee returned.

"Rina." With Sara's voice, another cool wave washed over her. "I promise I won't let any harm come to you. Nor will Mai. You do trust him, don't you."

Of course, she trusted Mai. She did. She did. She—

A loud sigh escaped Anat, arms still across her chest, resting with her hip against the table. "She obviously doesn't, Sara."

"I do!" Rina rounded on Anat. "I bloody do. So shut your trap, you—"

"Rina!"

The command in Sara's words left Rina with her mouth gaping. She closed it, teeth clacking together like a hoe against pebbles.

"Anat, we have a little while until today's ceremony. Be of some use and take the others. We'll meet you.

With a half-roll of the eyes, Anat turned away from them and herded the Denese, Mehdi grumbling about needing to trudge up and downstairs.

A pair of small kitchen boys entered the space as this went on, the roll of wheels on the floorboards announcing them, and took away the dishes. They raised their brows when Sara patted the table and told Rina to lie on it, their curious faces and the clunk of wheels over the uneven surface accompanying their departure.

Rina stared at the table.

Sara patted it again. "Up you get."

With a shrug, she sat on the table and edged her way to the centre and lay down, the wood hard against her spine.

"Close your eyes."

She did.

"Imagine you are surrounded by light."

Rina swallowed a snicker. She didn't need to imagine that—her hallucinations grew more and more each day. Sometimes she didn't even notice them any more.

"Tell me when you are ready."

Rina nodded.

"Now imagine you can breathe that light in through your nose." Sara paused a moment. "All the way down your throat, through your lungs and down to your stomach, letting it fill the space. Drop into that moment. Into its protection. Mai's protection. Now breathe out slowly, letting the air drain from your mouth, keeping Mai's light within you."

They remained in the room a while, Sara continuing to guide Rina through the meditation. Having her repeat it while seated, and then standing, until the tingling left her fingers and the sense of connection with Mai brought a feeling of safety and security.

She could do this. She would not let fear get in the way of her path. She would go to the chapel, forsake herself and show her dedication.

☆☽○☾☆

A/N:

Thank you again for reading. I hope you don't mind the chapter parts—it's the only way I will be able to manage weekly updates. Also, a special thank you to everyone kind enough to give me suggestions for improvement. I haven't had the chance to go back and address many of these yet. I will, though! 

As I write, the magic system continues to evolve into something more cohesive in my head, and this may lead to inconsistencies from earlier chapters. 

Any idea how the magic works in this world? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Cheers—Jas xoxo