3RD PERSON POV

Y/N: Damn.....the alternate version of your enemies are similar yet they fucking hate the idea of the sex enpire so much they're joining in.

Toilets: SKIBIDI SKIBIDI

Everyone enthusiastically nod their heads including the toilets, everyone totaling in the tens of thousands and more as they look at a map.

Y/N: The only mission we have.....obliterate all the Black Dogs, liberate all the cities and provide them aid. Teleport there if you want cause their weapons and magic can't harm us at all.

Assault Warp Toilet: SKIBIDI SKIBIDI

They all agreed, everyone out for blood as they prepare their weapons-

Eri: Big brother I made a cookie for you.

Y/N's face softens as Eri hands him a rather delicious looking cookie. He eats it while one of the toilets shimmies over and pats her head with a metallic arm before they all look at him.

Eri: GO KICK THEIR ASS!

Y/N: *PPPFFFFTTTT*

Girls: ERI NO! YOUR INNOCENCE!

Saiko whistles and walks away, not wanting to be blamed for cursing in front of Eri while some of his girlfriends were also out for blood.

G-Man: SKIBIDI SKIBIDI?

TV-Titan:
.ETUC S'EHS .RETSIS DETPODA SIH SI TAHT :3

Later

???: Man! That was neat! Those women sure are tight!

All the men in the tavern joyously laugh, not noticing the toilets approaching.

???2: How about we take a shot at the princesses' knights since the princesses are gone somehow? We can surely-

*BOOM*

The two men were splattered on the walls, some kind of being zooming around and flying through people, killing them immediately.

Nun: D-DON'T HURT US!

*WHOOSH*

Glitch Toilet: ASKIB- *TWITCH*

In front of the toilet was fresh clothes piled onto the table before it warps away and the doors to the tavern cave in, revealing cameramen.

Cameraman: Hello there. We've come to liberate the entirety of Eostia from these scum. Here's some fresh clothes if you want. We made a makeshift shower to our left if you want to wash that Uh.........white stuff?

They huddled against the wall, fearing for their life as the camera men tried to calm them down.

???: H-How do we know you're not gonna rape us like the rest?!

Y/N: Because I am here to liberate your lands.

Y/N slashes a man's head off with his knife, his presence leaving them in awe as he gestures for the army to pass by with the camera men remaining.

Y/N: Y/N, mercenary working for the Creator god Jed.

???: *gasp* Working for god?

Y/N: More like buddies but he's a god-

They all bowed, thanking the lord before taking the clothes and heading to the shower while a toilet pulls up behind Y/N.

Buzzsaw: SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI?

Y/N: The land of the dark elves. Take control of the castle....and wear more protective gear. You can teleport now so focus on speed and defense.

It nods before flying away, slicing through Black Dog mercenaries miles away.

Y/N: Now where were we?

Later

Ruby: DIE YOU RAPISTS.

Y/N: YOU SEE, EVERYTHING'S GOING WELL OZPIN!

Ozpin:......Looks like Ruby's quite enthusiastic.

*SLICE*

A mercenary goes into view though Ruby slices him in half, laughing in a yandere like voice as she slaughters all the Black Dog members and monsters.

Blake: *horrified* W-What the- I mean sex empire is bullshit but RUBY?! SHE KILLS?!

Y/N spoke to Ozpin over the phone though several huntsman student teams popped out of nowhere.

Y/N: Ruby's what you call a yandere really.

Nora: Ah.....yandere?

Ruby: NORA I GOT PANCAKES!

Ruby became friends with Ren and Nora.

Nora's eyes widen like saucers, drooling as she stares at the phone screen where Ruby held
freshly made pancakes from Eostia with a metal fork.

Nora: GIMME DEM PANCAKES! GIMME THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruby throws them through a portal Y/N made, Nora wolfing it down in minutes while they watch Ruby happily slaughter orcs with no remorse.

Pyrrha: Um.....Ruby is-

Ozpin: A bit crazy yes. But under that she has a soft heart.......she's under the yandere effect.

Ren: *gulp* Who else?

Ozpin: Surprisingly Shouko is too sometimes. But usually Saiko, Kaede, Ayano, and Yuno are the yanderes of the girls. However, Ruby's the most dangerous.

Yang: *grin* Protective little sis. She means well though.

Blake: 'Kay.......'At least me and Pyrrha are on her good side along with Velvet.'

Coco: Damn bun bun.....you got a protector.....rather crazy one sometimes.

Later

???: WAIT HAVE MERCY! HAVE MERCY-

Dual Saw Toilet: SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI

Speakermen:

They all danced, the toilets swinging their heads around as the dual saw toilet slices into the man's stomach and guts him like a fish.

Camera Men: *point*

Y/N notices the camera men pointing to a tablet that showed the princesses and their knights surrounded by the Black Dogs in Geofu.

*WHOOSH*

Y/N: HELLO THERE VULT!

Vult: Ah....an unknown man I see. Judging from that ability, are you perhaps from an unknown kingdom like the Cuntry?

Y/N: Nope. And please look in the air for a moment.

Vult: What do you-

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Music began to play, confusing everyone though the Black Dog members scream as the speaker titan and camera titans appear out of nowhere along with various airships.

Y/N: BOMBS AWAY!

???: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT-

*BOOM*

Vult was knocked out by rubble before Ruby slices his legs off with her scythe.

Ruby: HAHAHAHA!

The TV titan also appears and from various portals appeared the toilets, speakermen, TV men, and camera men who marched forward, massacring all Black Dog forces while Ruby kills them happily.

Y/N: G-MAN TAKE OUT THE DRAGONS!

G-Man: SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI SKIBIDI

*BOOM*

Lasers shred all the monsters apart, more flying toilets, jet pack flying camera men and speaker men flying forward and cutting up everyone before they could get away.

Y/N: Now how about- wait who are you?

Kohaku: Who.....is he?

Renamon: Who are the new princesses?

Princesses: WHO ARE THEY?!

Y/N: Well these are my buddies. The speaker men, camera men, and TV men are my friends that kindly joined me in my mercenary quest. Same goes for the toilets.

Luu-Luu:.....So flying potty bowl with pew pew metal weapon is a friend?

Y/N: Well....if they're lot my friends we're acquainted. The bigger ones are the titans. They're-

*WHOOSH*

Y/N flashes and 5 black dog mercenaries who were about to shoot arrows suddenly had their heads chopped off.

Mercenary: BEFORE I DIE, I'D LIKE TO CONFESS I LIKE PINEAPPLE TOPPED BREAD (which is pizza) WITH CHEESE AND TOMATO SAUC-

Girls/Y/N/TV Men/Speaker Men/Toilets/Camera Men: HERESY!

*BOOM*

Everyone literally turns around, blasting the dying mercenary into oblivion with their weapons before leaving a crater with no remains of him.

Y/N: Wait why exactly are y'all here?

Guts: We want to help.

Erza: *thumbs up* Yup.

Rover: *BARK*

Y/N:.......Alright this way everyone.

The TV titan man makes a portal for the girls to go through as Y/N swings his knife, the shockwave splitting a mountain in half to reveal a Black Dog settlement as everyone marches to it while dancing.

Later

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Everyone:

Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while we sleep
We will find you

Acting on your best behaviour
Turn your back on mother nature
Everybody wants to rule the world

It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most

Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world

There's a room where the light won't find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind you

So glad we've almost made it
So sad they had to fade it
Everybody wants to rule the world

I can't stand this indecision
Married with a lack of vision
Everybody wants to rule the world
Say that you'll never never never never need it
One headline why believe it?
Everybody wants to rule the world

All for freedom and for pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world

Everyone finishes singing and dancing before attending to the women and men affected by the sorry excuse of an empire. Meanwhile the princesses and 4 new others head to Y/N who was trying to pull Rover away from a cat lady who squeaks and cowers in the corner of a building.

Y/N: ROVER!

Rover: *WHINE*

Cat Lady: G-Good d-doggy....

Rover's ears perk up and he licks the lady, earning a squeak before running away.

Celestine: Having a pet is surely useful-

Y/N grabs a scythe that nearly sliced a Black Dog mercenary's head off while Ruby had a crazy glint to her eyes.

Ruby: No killing?

Y/N: We're done here. He's gonna be a prisoner.

Ruby: Fine......we get Vult though.

Alicia: Wait hold on a minute! He needs to pay for his crimes!

Y/N: Trust me.....he's gonna be having a fate worse than death. I can kick him into a hellish version of the afterlife if I want to as well.

Celestine: *bow* Regardless, thank you for liberating Eostia. We are deeply indebted to you.

Y/N: Eh no biggie. This is just a regular Tuesday. Now if you excuse me I got dinner to cook for my sisters and girlfriends!

He flashes away, everyone heading through a portal though Celestine held a device and opened a portal.

Iris: Where are you going?

Luu-Luu: Y/N makes really good food so we're heading there.

Mel-Mel: Oo! Let me come!

Y/N:

A̴̩̦̩̦̫͉͖͜͝N̸̖̔̔̃̒͊́̓̎́̐̂̎̿͠D̶̡̧̥͈̫̟̉̍̈́̀͊̈́́̋̚ ̸̢̢̡͉̺̹͈̞̺̤̝̭̦̊ͅͅT̵̡̮͚͍͉̬͚̠́̅̅̀̃̀̑͘Ḩ̴̢̧̝̲͔̞̙͎̱̻͍̗̓̈́̆̓̈́͆̔̽̽̚͝͝͝Ȩ̷̢̣̞̩̩͙̹̥̤̃̉̀͊̓͛́̆̌͋̽̌̀͜͠Ŗ̸̳̻̩̠̟̯̬̏̑́̈́͐̎̓̆̆E̷̩̱̱͇̤̝̫͖̖̥̖̙͐̀̉̊̒̏͂̅͗̊̈́̒̅ ̴͉͕̰̱̱̠͕̽͐͊̄̒̑I̸̖̩̪̟̰͖̣̬̓Ŝ̸̬̩͈̱̝̥̟̾̈́͋̔͐̿͋̀̕͜͝͝ͅͅ ̷̜̬̝͆͛̍̔́̽̂͆͊̈́̚Ǒ̵̢͕͓͇̩͕͉̗͓͔͉͙̩̆͐̊̑̾͗͘̕N̴̯̉Ę̷̧̖̭̫̯̖͉̦̤̎͒̂̓͗̿̍̈́͜

Next Chapter:

Kill the Supernatural (1/2)

Carnage (2/2)

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