ELYSTIA

The last time my belly was knotted so tightly was when I got on a ship to leave my family behind. When I left Terra, the only world I've known my entire life.

The Captain with the giant hands that showed me so much pleasure has punched me in the gut.

I run to Sidra and find her chatting with an entertainer a few tents from her own. She stops her conversation and stares at me with concern. "Elystia? What's wrong, honey?"

I wipe my cheeks and grasp her hand. "I need to talk to you in private. Let's go to your tent. Now."

She follows me without another word, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"What happened?" She asks as soon as the tent flaps drop. "Elystia? Did... did he hurt you?"

I fall to my knees and drag my hands through my hair, sobbing as my heart bleeds with pain. I pull at my hair, hoping it will distract me from the heartbreak.

"No," I sniffle. "No, but...oh, god. Do I forgive him? Forget this? What do I do?!"

He lied to me. He kept me in the dark so I couldn't make my own decisions. But...he has done so much for me since I joined this camp. He showed me that he cares. I'm torn. Terrorized by pain I didn't know was possible.

"He's a... a royal."

"What does that mean?" Sidra asks, kneeling beside me and rubbing my back. "Calm down. It's going to be alright. Breathe."

"He's related to the queen, Sidra!"

Her hands freeze as she connects the dots. Zairo is our blood-enemy.

"How...how did you find out? You must be mistaken. He's a captain, Elystia. He works in a dusty camp, surrounded by sweaty men and skimpily dressed women. Royalty would be in a shiny palace."

I wish she was right. But Zairo admitted it himself. He wouldn't lie about this. It has been tearing him up for the past few days.

Seeing my heartbreak, Sidra gasps and covers her mouth. "No...no. Do you know what his people did to ours?"

She looks at me as if I'm guilty of something. As if she's angry.

"Of course I know!" I shout. "That's why I'm here, losing my fucking mind."

She rises and paces the tent. "His people kept us in the dark. Kept us from trading with the rest of the world. They're the reason everyone on Terra is brainwashed to stay on that fucking island! Why we barely have books."

"I know, I know."

"When did he tell you?"

"Just now."

She rolls her eyes and slaps her thigh. "So he didn't tell you before he fucked you. Of course he didn't. That scheming bastard. He knows how to uphold his ancestors' lifestyle."

I came to Sidra for comfort and reasoning, but I'm only finding more anger.

"Don't call him that," I whisper.

"Look, Elystia, I love you as a sister. But if you're going to keep fucking that colonizer, then I don't want to be a part of your house play."

She goes to the corner of the tent and rummages through a sack.

My heart drops to the pit of my stomach as everything goes to hell. "What are you doing?"

"I'm leaving the camp. I'm sorry. But I can't serve a man with that rotten blood. I can't disrespect my ancestors. I came to this camp because I thought it was home to soldiers working on a good cause. I don't have an option of choosing a queen, but I can choose which Captain I serve. And that man is not it. So do as you wish, but I'm out of this camp. Fuck him and all his favors. Fuck his lies and entitlement."

I shake my head, tears streaming down my face. "Please don't ask me to choose, Sidra. I'm begging you. Please!"

"I'm not asking you to do anything. Do as you wish. Do what makes you happy. But I won't stay here to support you and your colonizer."

"Sidra," I cry. "We need to stop and think about this. We can't just jump to conclusions. His ancestors wronged ours centuries ago."

"I'm happily jumping to conclusions. I don't care that this happened centuries ago. If they never trapped us on that island, I would have never suffered—" she chokes up. "You don't know what it was like living with my father!"

I purse my lips, unsure of where this conversation is headed. I don't know much about Sidra's past, this is true. But there's clearly a lot of pain there. No wonder she was so eager to leave the island.

"What happened?" I whisper. "Tell me. This isn't just about me. You matter, too. I'm here for you."

"I'm sure you mean that," she says as she wipes her cheeks. "But until you decide which path you'll follow—mine or your Captain's, then I think we better put this friendship on hold."

What have I done? The day just keeps getting worse.

Maybe I shouldn't have brought this truth to light. No. I did the right thing by telling Sidra. Keeping Zairo's bloodline a secret would have made me an accomplice.

But I don't know where to go from here. I grew to love this camp. I found purpose in it. Leaving it and Zairo would gut me.

But what about Sidra? She is the last resemblance to family that I have left. She's still young and needs someone to stick beside her. We came from the same precious and place, descendants of Terra, and we should stick together to brace this unknown, dangerous world.

But that would mean leaving the camp. Can I bring myself to walk away? Would Zairo allow it, or lock me away?

Sidra keeps rummaging through her things, hellbent on leaving.

"I'm going for a walk," I mutter as I try to calm my breathing.

"Alright. I'll wait. I won't leave before saying goodbye to you."

She's really serious about this, then. She's ready to drop me and all the friends she has made in the camp to honor our bloodline. Her dedication makes me feel weak. Makes me feel guilty for hesitating.

I walk outside with my head low, waiting for a familiar dusty set of boots to cross my path. But Zairo stays away, giving me space. Sidra does the same thing.

I walk around aimlessly, unsure of where I'm going. Like a ship lost at sea. Maybe that's what should have happened when I left Terra and sailed to the mainland. Maybe that would have spared me the heartbreak of meeting and losing Zairo.