The Tribute Centre was polished and clean, but nothing special. I'd heard tributes saying in their interviews before how incredible their rooms were and that the grandeur of the Capitol was unlike anything they'd seen before, but as I glanced around our quarters, I didn't understand what the fuss was about. Sure, it was a step up from District 10, but almost anything was, especially after spending my time there in Drew's little house.

"Woah..." Decimus said as we entered and he immediately flopped down on the crushed velvet sofa. I wrinkled my nose, noting that the awful material was at least three seasons out of fashion. Drew saw me looking around and crossed his arms.

"What, is this not to your liking, princess?" he sneered. I bit the inside of my cheek to stop myself from screaming at him.

"It's fine."

"Fine?" Drew laughed at me cruelly. "Your spoiled attitude really has no end, does it? Next you'll be calling the food bland just because it's not a ten course dinner every night."

Valeria rolled her eyes at our bickering and went to sit with Decimus, who was watching our argument unfold with curiosity. Of course, he had no idea that Drew's disdain for me had come from way before we stepped on the train to the Capitol.

"I have no issue with where we're staying...it's just not what I expected," I said tightly. Drew took a step toward me.

"Let me guess. You heard the other tributes talking about how luxurious it is here and how lucky they felt to be in a place like this. And you can't relate, can you?"

"You're rich in your own right. Don't make this about me," I snapped at Drew. "What do you want me to do, pretend this is the best place I've ever seen when I'm used to a higher standard of living?"

"I think you should just be grateful that you've got a roof over your head and food to line your stomach. I seem to remember you not having any of those things not so long back."

Decimus was still watching, chewing his thumb. "Did you live on the streets in District 10, Aurelia? Is that why we never saw you around?"

Drew seemed to realize he'd said too much and he began to pace, not meeting my eye. But I wasn't done talking to him. I jabbed my finger in his direction.

"You're my mentor now. It's not your place to criticise me, you're supposed to guide me to victory. But if you want to play it dirty, then maybe I should point out that I'm not the one who made my fortune by killing other kids."

Drew's eyes were blazing as they raised to meet my own.

"But your father did," he snarled. That was the last straw for me. Even though he was right. Even though I was finally getting to a place where I could understand his anger and hate for me, it still felt out of line. How was I supposed to defend myself when all he saw in me was my father?

I stormed from the room without another word. I headed down the corridor and found my room, kicking off my cowboy boots as I headed toward the bed. Lying down and looking at the ceiling, I knew that he was right in some ways. Perhaps I didn't appreciate my surroundings the way I should. But he didn't have to bring it up in front of everyone. He didn't have to drag me down another rung of the ladder just to humiliate me. I'd be dead in a few weeks, and surely that would be humiliation enough for me?

I found that tears were stinging my eyes and I wiped them away. I didn't want to wallow in self-pity. I didn't want to think about how I'd been led to believe my life was perfect all along when something dark was happening in the shadows. Why had I never considered how my father made his living? I knew he was a Gamemaker and yet it never clicked inside me that his job was to find entertaining ways of killing children. My mother, so disapproving of my father for reasons I couldn't fathom, and now an enemy of the state...was she on to something? Is that why the Capitol wanted her gone? If she had just followed the rules blindly, would we have carried on in our own way forever, blind to the damages we were causing?

Looking back, I want to believe that I would've come to my senses after seeing the destruction we were causing, but it's impossible to know. Some of us are lucky to be gifted a choice between an easy life and a righteous one. I was spoiled, cruel at times, blind to the misfortunes of others around me. I could easily have chosen to turn a blind eye.

I think, looking back, if my mother had never been taken away, I would've lived in the Capitol in peace forever.

But I couldn't separate my hurt from my morals at the time. I lay in the Tribute Centre, wondering why it was so hard to know my own privelege when I was being handed a raw deal. I was in the same position as the other twenty-three, but we couldn't have been more different. 

I sniffed as I moved over to the window to look out at the city I once called my home. I'd never have my boutique. I'd never see my friends again, or marry someone like Cicero just for appearances. In the fleeting weeks left of my life, I wouldn't have time to fall in love, to develop as a person, to learn my limits and my morals better. Time was ticking, slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. No matter how I tried to cup it in my hand, it kept escaping through the cracks of my palms. Those other twenty-three kids were facing the same emotions...except their lives were never good in the first place.

I heard the doors open behind me, but I didn't turn around. Drew silently at the window, looking out at the city. Both stubborn creatures, I knew neither of us would be willing to apologize, especially when we were both right in our own ways. Drew's eyes grew cold as he took in the Capitol.

"I remember the first time I saw it," he murmured. "It was the most incredible thing I'd ever seen. Like Decimus, I felt somehow lucky to get to see it all. When you grow up somewhere like District 10...well, you either live and die there or you get shipped off for the Hunger Games and die in the Capitol instead. We don't have the freedom to roam." He turned his head to me. "Though when I think about it...neither did you. You're all caged in...taught to believe that the Capitol has everything you could ever need. But you're changing, aren't you? Now that you've seen more...you're changing your mind."

"Maybe," I said quietly. Drew sighed.

"I don't like to pretend that District 10 is anything special. But remove the Peacekeepers...remove all the Capitol vans that come and take our produce away...and we'd be left with a community. Left with family and friends and just enough to get by. No greed...no exploitation. I don't think you ever got that in the Capitol, did you? If you took away your money and your status...you're as lowly as any of us. That's why you're here. You're just a number in the thousands. That's how they see you."

I laughed. "Did you come here to make me feel even worse about myself? Because if you did, it's working."

Drew squeezed his eyes closed. "No. No, that's not what I intended. I always mess these things up. What I'm trying to say...is that I look at you sometimes and I'm angry because of the idea of what you had. But in reality...maybe I'm lucky. In a way...it's you I feel sorry for."

"Well whatever your reasoning for that, you can keep your damn pity to yourself. I don't need it. I need you to get me through the Games...and I need you to stop finding ways to hate me if I'm going to make it."

"Aurelia...I don't hate you. And I'm sorry for the way I keep lashing out...the Games...this is a very tense time of year for Victors. We have to live through all our pain all over again. I spend every night of the year having nightmares about coming here...and each time I have to watch more and more kids die. But maybe this year...maybe we'll have another Victor. And then maybe...maybe next year, we can get through this together."

I looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. How could he possibly pity me when he was the one so broken? At least I lived a good life. Perhaps it was destined to be a short one, but my nights would never be filled with dreams of the horrors he endured. If I survived, maybe I'd return to the Capitol and bury my sorrows in drugs to help me sleep peacefully. I could go back to the way things were before.

Maybe.

"If you want me to get that far, you have to be on my side. Faithfully devoted to helping me get through. Do you understand? Because if you don't...I won't make it." I paused. "And then you'll be alone again."

"I'm not going to let you die," Drew said gruffly. "Not on my watch, Aurelia Thorne."