It took me a couple seconds to process this, and I was left mutely shaking my head, denial making me speechless. “That can’t be…why would she…why would I…”

Jai shrugged. “You said it would interfere with the guardian’s duty. It’s always been that way. That’s the way it has to be. Horace and Manda didn’t exactly break the rules, but they were indulging in feelings, and it’s part of what made them sloppy as well. I think Horace thinks it’s his fault. He pursued Manda for awhile, back when everything was good. It was their secret, and it distracted them. Without all three of us on our finest…at our best at all times…” he slumped in his chair. “Well…you know what happened…”

“That can’t be it though,” I stammered. “I mean…he can’t blame himself for what happened. I’ll tell him…”

“No,” Jai darted a look over at the sleeping Horace, his voice a sharp whisper. “Please don’t. Don’t say anything to him. He’d be angry with me.”

I nodded reluctantly. “I think those are stupid rules. I’m sorry she…I…made them. Can’t I revoke them? I can change my mind, right?”

“When you get your memories back you may feel differently.” Jai steepled his fingers together, sighing. He gave me a long look and his intense gaze made me fidget in the wooden chair.“This isn’t going to be easy, Kali, we won’t be just walking in and grabbing the Kronos portal. This might get messy.”

“I know.” My voice dropped to a whisper, and on the table top my fingers curled into fists. “Jai? I’m scared…I mean, really terrified. What if the guards know it’s me? Or what if the instruments don’t come at all?”

“They’ll come.” He smiled. “Don’t worry, you’ve tested them many times. I can remember once, years ago, you experimented by casting them into the sea of eternity. We thought they were gone, but a week later they were back again, didn’t even rust or smell of salt.” 

“What’s the sea of eternity?” I was pretty sure I’d never heard of it before. “I’m guessing it’s not one you  can go swimming in.”

“You wouldn’t want to.” Jai grimaced. “It’s beautiful, but deadly. Things go missing in the deep waters, usually forever.”

I shivered, thinking it all sounded terrifying. And we were going to storm some kind of castle and fight this demon guy or whatever, just so we could go back there. To a place that sounded every bit as alien and terrifying as the soul suckers. I wasn’t sure if it would be an improvement.

Jai hesitated, and then to my surprise he reached across the table and placed his hands over mine. His hands were big, covering both of mine completely, and his touch was warm. It gave me a pleasant shiver, sitting there with his fingers locked around mine. I found myself staring into his dark eyes and wondering if Lady Time had forbid herself from relationships with her guardians. It seemed likely.

Apparently I’d been a killjoy.

“Tomorrow,” he whispered, “will be fine. I’ll be there with you. I’ll make sure you’re okay.” He smiled, and it made his eyes crinkle at the edges. “Besides, a perk to being time personified is that you can’t die.”

I mused this over, grateful that he was still gripping my hands. “But what about you? Can guardians die?”

“Yes, but we won’t. It will all be fine.”

I chewed on my lower lip, anxiety rippling through me. “You sound so confident.”

He grinned. “We’ve been doing this for a long time.”

“I keep forgetting that. I keep forgetting that you remember, even if I don’t.”

His grin faded a little. “We’ll get your memories back, don’t worry.”

My memories. I tried to imagine a bunch of new memories pouring into me, centuries of thoughts and things that had happened. Would I feel like someone else after that? “I don’t…I’m not sure I want them.”

“I know it seems that way. I know it’s scary, but you’ll need them, Kali. It’s the only way you’ll be able to use your powers.”

“I dunno,” I said, defensive. “I seem to be using some of them…I mean, the instruments work for me…” I trailed off. “Okay, the hourglass. What does the scythe even do anyways?” I sat back when Jai released my hands, a little disappointed.

“Your blade symbolizes the harvest. It’s also a deadly weapon. Anything that falls to that blade stays dead.”

“I don’t get it.”

“They don’t go to the afterlife. There is no death and rebirth for them, if they happen to be immortal. It’s effectively an end.”

“Could I kill Thanatos with it?” I leaned forward, feeling excitement rush through me. “I mean…forever?”

“Yes,” Jai said. “But in order to access the blade’s power we need the memories. That’s why I’m so determined to get them. Manda thinks we can just exile Thanatos, cast him into the next realm, but it isn’t enough. We have to take care of him more permanently.” 

I gripped the edge of the table again, knuckles white, and Jai leaned over in his chair and bumped my shoulder gently with his. “Hey, try not to worry. You should get some sleep.”

He stayed where he was, with his shoulder against mine, for longer than strictly necessary, and I could feel the heat of his skin through his t-shirt. I had the mad impulse to reach out and grab hold of him, to stick my fingers in his long blond hair. Maybe I was just being needy because I was scared, but I really wanted him to hold me. Maybe he could lean down and brush his lips over mine and…

Jai didn’t do any of that, instead he stood up, placing one hand on my shoulder, sending tingles down my arm. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

Being put to bed like a wayward child hadn’t been in my fantasy.

I sighed and allowed him to escort me back to the bedroom. The fact that he placed the palm of his hand on my lower back as he did so, made things a little better. We paused in the doorway and he trailed one finger over my upper arm, for just a split second before pulling away.

“Goodnight, Kali.”

“Goodnight.”

I cut a wide path around Manda, who was still clutching her knife and snorting and snuffling in her sleep, and crawled between the sheets. I could tell by the long shadow he threw, that Jai stayed in the doorway for a several seconds before turning away. I listened to his footsteps retreat and then there was silence.

There was no way I was going to be able to sleep tonight.

We were up and moving the next morning. I watched Manda load the jeep with supplies. Somehow she’d found someone to fix the windshield, and she was crowing over the bullet proof glass, banging on it with her fist as if this somehow proved it was bulletproof.

Horace loaded the back with supplies from the bar. Packages of peanuts and beef jerky were added to our supplies, along with a cardboard box that held two sets of army fatigues. Jai rifled through the box and shook out one of the shirts, examining it critically. “This is gonna be way too small for you, Horace.”

“The other is an extra large,” Horace grunted, stuffing the last box into the back.

I was shifting from foot to foot, nervous and excited. But mostly nervous. After some debate we’d decided that we’d be able to sneak my hourglass in, and it was in Horace’s duffel bag. Of course, the scythe was way too big to disguise, so we went with the original plan of leaving it behind to catch up later. Horace had squirreled it away, stashing it underneath the sofa in his suite. He said if anyone found it, it would be useless to them anyways. It would vanish right out of their hands if they tried to use it.

I couldn’t help grin a little bit, picturing that. Imagine picking up a grim reaper type blade and then having it simply fade away in your hands?  That would give you a bit of a scare!

“I think that’s it.” Horace slammed the door shut and came around the other side of the jeep, holding the door open for me. “I made sure there’s clear spot for you and Jai, it’s going to be a long ride.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks, Horace.”

He blinked, like he was taken aback that I’d addressed him by name or something. “Ah..uh, you’re welcome.”

I slid across the seat, wedging myself in between boxes and bags. Jai climbed in beside me, and I sort of wished that Horace hadn’t left us so much room. I really wouldn’t have minded being squished up against Jai.

Seriously, get a hold of yourself. I couldn’t seem to help it, I’d been thinking things like that since last night. Maybe it was the way he’d looked at me, or the way he’d brushed his finger down my arm like that, but I kept wishing it wasn’t like this. That we had a different set of circumstances, that there was time for this to develop into something….

That this wasn’t weird or forbidden…

But I made the rules right? Does that mean I can break them? I was probably a terrible Lady Time. Very irresponsible. Besides, when I got all my memories back I would probably be different. I probably wouldn’t want to be with Jai anymore.

“Okay, get in, get the clock, get past the veil.” Mada repeated what she’d been saying for the last hour, like she was ticking off a list in her head. I was beginning to think she was more like me than I’d originally thought.

“Probably won’t be that easy,” Horace muttered. He climbed into the front seat, scanning the road in front of us. It was just starting to get light outside, and the shadows were receding, showing off the grim reality of the city all around us. Horace was on the alert constantly, telling us the suckers were bad this time of the morning. “Coast is clear, looks like.”

“Too bad,” Manda said. “I would have liked to make pancakes this morning.”

“Gross, Manda!” I protested, and Jai chuckled.

Horace pulled the street map from the glove compartment and unfolded it on his lap. “It’s what, a five day drive?”

Manda shot him a sideways look. “You forget who you’re driving with?”

“Four days then,” he said, and carefully folded the map back up, slamming the glove compartment shut.

“Seat belts,” Manda said. “