All We Are
••• Feel Safe •••

i don't even like it,
i don't know which side is worse,
just because you own it,
it doesn't make you feel safe, feel safe

•••••

the storm.

TW: panic attack, feeling of dread, nausea

I woke on the first morning of the new year with a killer migraine and a dream that slipped out of my fingers too fast for me to remember.

Hiding from the too-bright mid-morning sun that leaked through the porthole window, I stuck my head beneath the blanket and groaned. The migraine pulsed behind my eyes with vicious bite, thudding within my skull like a soldier's procession. The pillow I squeezed around my face did nothing.

I closed my eyes and replayed the events of the night before; my 'love' slip-up, Lloyd's powers not hurting me, and our connection that guided my own. That fleeting feeling of being powerful was incredible, our combined abilities the stuff of fiction, but the pain of using it made me reluctant to do it again.

My hand snaked beneath the blanket and felt around my neck. The dragon pendant was still warm to the touch.

Eventually, after another twenty minutes of suffering and smothering myself with my own body heat, I poked my head back out. Dust motes danced in the ray of light overhead. I watched for a handful of minutes, entranced, before the rumble of my stomach drove me to my feet to search for clothes.

When I shuffled into the kitchen I found Lloyd alone, standing at the oven and cooking something that dragged me forward by my stomach - but not of our tugging. I smelt the wafting scent of a cooked breakfast with a happy hum. The scene was surprisingly domestic. I could get used to it.

"Morning, sleepy," Lloyd greeted with a glance my way. His smile grew when I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my head between his shoulder blades. "How are you feeling?"

My head reminded me of my state with a rather potent throb. I winced.

"Still sore," Lloyd guessed with a sympathetic murmur. "Thought so. There's feverfew on the table."

I retreated to grab the small pile of leaves on the kitchen island and chewed them hurriedly. They didn't really stop the pain, but they did shorten how long it hurt for. I appreciated the addition of paracetamol and a glass of water, and downed those, too.

"Thanks, hero." I went right back to my position of hugging Lloyd and felt his body soften into my hold. I watched him scoop some fried eggs and wilted spinach from the pan and onto a plate. "Where is everyone?" 

"They went for a hike on an island not far from here," Lloyd supplied. "We didn't want to wake you."

"You could've," I murmured guiltily. "Sorry for making you miss it." But thank you for staying with me, anyway.

"I wasn't about to leave you here alone," Lloyd said, as if it were normal and I didn't have friends who absolutely would've left me alone. Still, I warmed at his thoughtfulness. "Besides, my parents called this morning. They saw the readings from your pendant."

"Oh, right." I forgot they could see that. "What'd they say?"

Lloyd shrugged, switched off the stovetop, and turned in my arms to face me. "The same as what I said last night - conduits are known, but not in people. They want to do some testing when we get back."

My expression soured. "Ah." I didn't really want to do anything else with my powers at all, actually, though I knew it was a futile wish. I didn't have of a choice.

Lloyd read the hesitation on my face and gently smiled. He cupped my cheek and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"I'll be with you every step of the way," he promised.

That eased my fear, if only a little, and I tried to reassure him with a nod. I'm not sure it worked so well.

I stepped back to let him finish sorting out breakfast and pulled out the plates when he pointed to where they were. My stomach grumbled unapologetically as I watched Lloyd dish up the food, and I blushed at his amused smile. We grabbed our plates and ascended the stairs to eat on the upper deck.

It was definitely mid-morning, and the world was astonishingly silent save for the gentle lapping of the waves. I could barely believe how blue the sky was, how far the gentle ocean stretched. It felt as though we were the last two people alive.

Lloyd took a seat and crossed his legs. I sat beside him, probably a little too close, but he knocked his knee against mine so I knew he didn't mind. If anything, he appreciated the proximity. I did, too.

"How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Like the dead," I answered monotonously as I pinched up the wilted spinach with my chopsticks. He snickered. "I think I had a weird dream."

Lloyd turned his attention away from his breakfast. "Yeah?"

I nodded. The spinach tasted dull on my tongue. "I can't remember it, though. You know that feeling when you've had a dream but it escapes you? It's that."

He hummed thoughtfully and took a bite of a strip of bacon. A seagull perched on the masthead and cawed, ruffling its wings. I inhaled the salty air.

"Weird dreams are common for our side of the world," Lloyd said. "It's usually the fates trying to deliver a new prophecy." He shrugged. "Sometimes it's just our ancestors giving a warning or telling us to do something... kinda like with Uchū and your mom."

"I thought you said you didn't believe in ghosts?"

Lloyd sent me a lopsided smile that made my heart skip. "I don't. Ghosts are said to be stuck on this plane, which isn't true. Spirits exist in the afterlife, above the cloud kingdom. That's where the fates live, too."

"The fates are people?" I asked in confusion.

"No," Lloyd chuckled softly. "They're not spirits or people. They're embodiments of magic that we don't really know how to explain. They rule over the cloud kingdom." He glanced at me questioningly. "Do you remember a face from your dream?"

I shook my head. I couldn't remember anything, except for the faint feeling that it was important.

"Maybe someone's trying to contact you about your powers," Lloyd suggested. "The barrier around your mind could have opened to them after you used it. You usually need to meditate to do that, but you're not exactly our common case."

My smile was weak and thin as I poked at my food. "Nope."

Lloyd nudged his shoulder with mine. "My favourite uncommon case."

This time my smile was a little more genuine and entirely flustered. Lloyd's grin grew at my turn of mood. It was ridiculously easy for him to make me feel better.

I knew that the ninja were all a never ending ball of energy, but perhaps Lloyd appreciated an odd slow morning. After eating breakfast and washing our dishes, I sat with my back against the mast and read a book I brought with me. Lloyd's head rested on my lap as he dozed in the sun. My hand played with his soft hair, attention split between the story and his content face.

I never wanted this peaceful moment to end - me with a book in hand, Lloyd safe and unhurt and asleep on my lap. There were no injuries hurting him from his job, no distractions, no-one else around for miles. I hoped we had a future full of moments like these. It was hard pressed to find an occasion as perfect as this.

Eventually I gave up on my book and took the opportunity to relax. The sun was hot but not too hot, not yet, and the unhurried swells of the ocean created a soothing white noise. I took to carefully curling Lloyd's shaggy hair with both hands, and he must've enjoyed it, because he didn't wake.

I traced the contours of his face with a fingertip - his hairline, where the strands were almost white-gold in the sun, along the curve of his temple and along the soft hair of his light brown brow. Down the slightly crooked line of his nose to the tip, lingering over the parted, plush bows of his full lips. His gentle breath caressed along my fingers and gathered upon my palm. I was overcome with the need to kiss him.

I was too slow, however, as my finger was suddenly caught between his teeth. My startle was weak. I was getting used to how Lloyd could move at the speed of sound, silent as a mouse. But my heart did stumble over itself at his lidded, molten-honey, teasing gaze, and it hurtled further when the sun glinted against the fangs that I still swore weren't there a few weeks prior.

"Did I wake you?" I asked with an apologetic smile.

Lloyd released my finger and repositioned his head on my lap with a swallow. His eyes closed again. His lashes curled over the freckles of his cheeks.

"Never was asleep," he murmured.

"I find that hard to believe."

"I was meditating."

I grinned down at him. "Tell that to the snore I heard."

Lloyd's lips pursed before curling into a smile. His eyes opened again and found me. "Book boring?" he asked.

I glanced at my discarded novel. It wasn't. It was actually very enamouring, full of adventures and mystical powers and love interests. It was the kind of book I usually loved to read. But Lloyd was a better adventure than what were merely words.

"No," I answered, and lifted my hand from his hair to flick the pages of the closed book. He deftly grabbed it and brought it back to his hair. I smirked at his unspoken request and resumed playing with his locks. "I just wanted to do something different."

Lloyd sent me an astonished look. "You? Want to do something other than read?"

"I'm not one-dimensional," I said with an amused roll of my eyes.

He sat up, though his hand on my wrist kept my fingers in his hair. It was highly amusing, and equally adorable - the legendary green ninja loved his hair being played with. I supposed we had that in common.

"What do you want to do?" he asked.

I tilted my head in thought. What I wanted to do was kiss him until I couldn't breathe, but I was too shy to request such a thing. There was also something else I wanted to do, spurred on by the tale I was engrossed in not twenty minutes prior.

"Can I see your elemental dragon?" I asked.

Lloyd's brows raised. "I thought you didn't really like it?"

"'Afraid of a mythical beast the size of a bus' and 'not liking it' are very two different things, Lloyd."

"Touché." He let go of my hand and got to his feet with an arm outstretched. The air before him simmered, before glimmering with green light and solidifying into the massive beast I'd wanted to properly acquaint myself to.

Lloyd stepped aside and allowed the dragon to barrel past him and straight into my prepared hands. Its purr was so low and loud that it rattled my bones and rumbled the ship. I tried to calm my racing heart, but it was kind of hard to when my survival instincts were yelling at me to run.

"It's really not supposed to do this?" I asked, breathlessly in equal parts awe and terror.

Lloyd leant against the mast and crossed his arms, watching the dragon nuzzle into my hands with great delight. "Nope. It's not sentient."

I frowned in disbelief. It seemed pretty sentient to me. I slowly rose to my feet and walked backwards around the deck, and it happily followed like a puppy. A smile grew on my face.

"What's its name?"

"Doesn't have one."

I glanced at Lloyd. "You haven't named him? That's mean." I looked back at the dragon and tilted my head. It rubbed its cheek against my palms with a chitter from deep within its throat. "Cookie Cutter."

Lloyd sent me an amused look. "I'm not naming my dragon Cookie Cutter."

I pursed my lips in thought. "Post Stamp."

"No."

"Couch Cushion?"

"Now you're just being silly."

I shot him a smile from over the dragon's head and Lloyd rolled his eyes back at me, before blurting my name when I walked backwards too fast and tripped over myself. I landed on my back with a gasp. The dragon promptly fell to the deck and planted its chin onto my stomach, and a large huff of air escaped me with a wheeze.

Lloyd broke into a laugh at my bewildered expression. I giggled as my shock passed, and stroked the pleased dragon's nose. A cloud of smoke escaped his nostrils.

"You really should name him," I said breathlessly. Lloyd crouched beside me and patted the spot between the beast's eyes.

"Keep brainstorming," he said with a glance down at me. The sun glinted behind him. He looked like Apollo. "Just as long as it's not Tax Payer."

I giggled again, thin and straining beneath the weight of the dragon's head. "That's a good one."

"You would think that, wouldn't you?" Lloyd shook his head in soft exasperation.

The others returned halfway through the afternoon. Zane showed us the pictures he took of the island and Kai recounted his daring duel with a spider he swears was the size of a small dog. We'd already begun to cook dinner by the time the team had sufficiently filled us in on their excursion.

Then, unlike last night, I didn't immediately pass out from exhaustion. Instead I watched the ceiling for hours as the stars slowly spun overhead, grasping for sleep but only snagging the ghost of it. Even the gentle singing of the waves couldn't rock me into slumber.

Having had too much experience with nights like these, I knew that I would stay in bed staring at the ceiling until the sun rose, and I also knew that I would be so bored and frustrated that I'd want to cry. Wanting to avoid that, I slipped out from under my blankets and ventured out of my room while pulling on a hoodie.

As my head poked through the neckline, I startled upon seeing Jay sleepily dragging his feet through the hallway. I hadn't even heard him still be up. The bags under his eyes looked a mile deep. I'd never seen him so calm and docile - it was almost unsettling.

"Hey, Y/n," Jay whispered. In his hands and curling steam was a cup of what smelt like chamomile tea. "Trouble sleeping?"

I smiled weakly. "Yeah. You?"

Jay closed his eyes with a look of pain that only someone with a sleep disorder could make. "Yep. Want me to wake Lloyd?"

My eyes widened. "Oh, no, you don't have-"

But Jay had already turned and was kicking the door to Lloyd's room without a care. "HEY, wake up!"

I had to press my hand over my mouth to smother my shock. The door opened seconds later and a bleary-eyed, messy-haired, scowling Lloyd poked his head out.

"Jay!" he hissed. "Why the hell-?" Lloyd cut himself off when he saw me standing behind the master of lightning, cheeks hot from trying to keep my giggles quiet. His pissed look fell into amusement, and then concern. "What are you doing up?"

"She can't sleep," Jay answered. "So be a good boyfriend and keep her company."

Lloyd's green eyes jumped back to me. I shook my head and raised my hands in denial. We both were blushing at the word 'boyfriend.'

"We're not- you don't have to-" I stammered.

"You are, you do, good night." Jay then promptly left the conversation.

Baffled, I watched Jay slip into his room without another word. Sleep-deprived Jay Walker was blunt. If I wasn't so embarrassed, I'd be laughing.

My attention returned to Lloyd, who seemed to be just as flustered. "I'm fine," I assured. "I'm just going upstairs for a bit."

He shrugged and stepped out to join me in the hallway. "I'm already awake. I'll come with you."

Well, it wasn't as if I was about to say no to spending time with Lloyd. I offered him a small, grateful smile in agreement.

When we reached the upper deck I sighed in delight. There was no light pollution to compete with the stars when you're out in the middle of nowhere, and the perfect constellations and far-away planets gleamed like a blanket of precious gems. The moon sat in the centre of it all, full and shining.

I tipped my head back to take it all in. Not even in Jamanakai did I ever see the stars remotely this bright and clear. Nor at my grandparent's in Nom, nor at my father's base. I'd never seen something like this before.

My attention turned from the night sky when Lloyd spun my shoulders around so I faced him. I smiled at attention, waiting patiently, before furrowing my brows when he spread his arms out wide.

"Punch me."

My smile fell. "Excuse me?" I spluttered.

"Punch me," he repeated. "I need to see where to start your training."

I stared at Lloyd in disbelief. "It's the middle of the night."

"I fight in the middle of the night all the time." He nodded with more insistence. "Punch me."

"I really-" I got cut off when Lloyd's fingertips jabbed into my side with blurring speed. I yelped at the tickle shock and sent him a scowl. "Hey! I don't-"

"Just one punch," he goaded. "It'll be over faster if you just punch me instead of complaining."

I gave Lloyd a bewildered frown. Was this what happened when he didn't use up his energy fighting bad guys? Couldn't he just do laps around the ship instead of asking me to punch him? I supposed everyone had their red flags.

"What if I just wanted star gaze in peace?" Punching the guy I was dating wasn't exactly peaceful or romantic in my books, but clearly Lloyd thought otherwise. Was this how ninja courted way back when? Did Garmadon ask Misako out by karate chop?

"If you don't punch me, I'll have to do something drastic."

"Like what?" I challenged.

"Like saying that Batman's better than Iron Man," Lloyd said with a cheeky grin.

Not my emotional support traumatised middle aged rich man that's better than his emotional support traumatised middle aged rich man. "You just crossed a line."

Lloyd held his arms out wider and prompted me with a smirk and a raise of his brow. I groaned loudly and launched a fist towards his chest. He caught it before it could make contact.

"Whoa!" Lloyd said with an alarmed grin. "You'll hurt yourself doing it like that."

"How?"

"This." Lloyd moved his hand to my wrist and straightened it. "Your momentum was strong but your fist was overextending." He held my arm at the elbow and drew a line to my knuckles with a finger. "You want this to be a straight line. Try again."

I took a step back from him and lifted my fists, only to have my feet nudged at by his.

"These need to be more shoulder width apart," Lloyd instructed. "And at less of an angle. You don't ever want to be fighting anyone unbalanced. That's how you lose power."

I begrudgingly accepted his adjustments. I had wanted to start training, but not in the middle of the night. I flinched when Lloyd placed his hands on my waist to twist my torso. My cheeks warmed when they lingered.

"Do you get this handsy with your other students, master Lloyd?" I commented sarcastically.

"Only the ones who get snappy when they can't sleep." He touched the bottom of my chin before he stepped back, and that small token of affection took the edge off my irritation. "Try again."

I punched Lloyd's chest. He didn't even stumble back or grunt from the impact, and maybe he was onto something because while I didn't like using him as a target, I couldn't deny that the punch felt solid. My eyes widened in surprise. His grin brightened.

"That's better!" Lloyd praised. "Do it again."

"I'm not exactly fond of using you as a punching bag."

"This is what training's all about," he reasoned. "If you can't get comfortable doing this in a controlled environment, how are you going to be able to do it in a real battle?"

"In a real battle, I won't be fighting the guy I'm dating," I dryly reminded.

Lloyd hummed in thought. "I guess not."

"So, we're done?"

Lloyd nodded and swallowed the space between us with a step. I stretched my arms up to embrace him, pleased I'd won my peace back. And then in less than a blink my legs had been swept out from under me.

I shrieked in shock at the sudden change of orientation. The only thing stopping me from having landed hard on the deck were Lloyd's arms holding me in an extravagant dip. My heart raced to make up for the beats it missed. I gasped to catch my breath. Lloyd watched me, equal parts serious and amused.

"Lloyd!"

"Lesson number one," he began, "never let yourself be distracted."

Still reeling in confusion, I snatched at his shoulders like a drenched cat clawing from a bath.

"You gotta be ready for anything, at anytime, no matter who it is you're fighting," Lloyd continued. "Even if it's someone you thought you were close with."

I couldn't tell whether to be more flustered or annoyed. But when I thought deeper about what he said and the off cadence behind his words, as if he'd experienced something like that before, I felt my frustration fall from a burning rage into a simmer. My hands flattened on his shoudlers from the claws they just were.

"Lloyd..." I began faintly, "have you been betrayed?"

Lloyd blinked at my observation, before wordlessly dropping to his side and pulling me with him to the deck. I landed on his stomach with a gasp. Just when I was beginning to think I wasn't getting any more heart attacks, he proved me wrong again.

"Yeah," he answered, and it might've just been my imagination, but I swore his voice had gone quieter. He avoided my gaze. "More than once. Occupational hazard of being me."

I went silent. I couldn't imagine how that felt; to trust someone, and then to have that trust get completely shattered. Lloyd's expression had gone withdrawn, regretful, as if he'd shared too much. How he would look when he learnt who my dad is. How he'd look when I broke his trust next.

I bent down and kissed the bottom of his chin. He smiled at me, warm and grateful and completely oblivious, and the pit in my stomach deepened. My arms snaked beneath his neck to hold him tight. Tight enough to mask my tension of guilt.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

He didn't ask me what I was sorry for.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

I woke at the break of dawn with a thick blanket tucked tightly around me.

Briefly confused at the expanse of pink-gold sky above me, it took a few moments for my brain to wake up and recall falling asleep beneath the stars with Lloyd on the upper deck. What I couldn't recall was retrieving the blanket or a pillow before I fell asleep, so I concluded he must've gotten it for us.

The thought of his care made me smile. Then it faded as I remembered our discussion last night.

I had to tell him. I needed to stop cowering beneath the what-if's and stop stalling. The longer I waited, the worse it would get.

But when I sat up and found him crossed legged on the dragon's bust of the Bounty, closed eyes and meditating and beautiful and all mine, I felt that little bit of resolve shatter. I couldn't do it.

I turned away from him and folded my arms tightly across my chest. I'm a coward. I was a coward and I was weak and I couldn't even use my powers without causing a fuss and I complained too much and-

A breath gathered too fast into my chest. A faint shower of unease settled over me, and my spiralling thoughts silenced like a hush over a crowd. The back of my neck prickled.

"Y/n?"

My gaze rose to Lloyd. He'd leapt from the dragon figurehead and had approached with silent footsteps, but I was too consumed by this baffling sensation that I didn't startle at his sudden appearance. I watched him with the startled eyes of a deer.

"Are you okay?" Lloyd asked. His expression curled with worry. "Did I upset you last night?"

I shook my head. I couldn't find the words to explain this, or reason as to why I was feeling it. Lloyd tilted his head with a concerned frown and crouched before me.

"What's wrong then, sunshine?" he murmured as he placed his hand on my forehead. It fell to cup my check. I leant into his palm, desperate for comfort. His frown deepened.

My heart felt weighed down by lead. It sunk through the ocean. It caved through the rock at the sea floor. Just as I had too much air just before, now I couldn't seem to get enough.

"I don't know," I whispered.

"Is it your powers?"

"I don't know."

Troubled, Lloyd took a seat at my side. He slung an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, and I buried myself into him, his warmth, his scent, him. As if he could shield me from whatever it was that had me so unnerved. As if all these terrible feelings would just disappear so long as I hid myself.

Lloyd didn't know how to fix whatever this was. I didn't either, so we sat in silence while he thought and I panicked over something I wasn't even all that certain of.

This wasn't my usual anxiety. This was something entirely different, and that made my fear so much worse.

I spent the rest of the trip uneasy.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

A few days after we returned from our trip, Lloyd asked if I wanted to help set up Master Wu's new tea shop with the rest of the team. I agreed.

The subtle dread I'd felt that morning on the Bounty hadn't left, and it would only intensify when I was away from Lloyd. I'd confided in my mother about the situation but all she could say was to use the exercises she taught me when I'd get panic attacks.

But those were short bursts of intense, uncontrollable emotion. This was ever-present. I couldn't do those exercises for all hours of the day.

I was practically waiting at the entrance when Lloyd arrived to pick me up and when I opened the door for him, I dove headfirst into a hug. He wasn't surprised by my attack, was ready for it even, and held me tight. Ever the ninja.

  "Still not feeling better?" Lloyd asked into my hair. I shook my head. "A distraction will help."

Mum leant against the doorframe behind us. "Call me if she gets worse."

"I will."

Aunt Rose's car pulled into the driveway just as Lloyd and I stepped down from the patio's steps after saying goodbye. My hand tightened over Lloyd's when I recalled that she'd never met him, only Simon had, and I hoped that she wouldn't react poorly. I doubted she would, though. Aunt Rose was the sweetest person I knew. It was kind of stunning how terrible Simon came out to be.

Aunt Rose exited the car and scurried over to pull me into her classic, lung-squeezing hug. I coughed dramatically.

"How's my darling girl?" she coed, holding my cheeks. "Are you still settling in well?" Rose peeked at a hesitant Lloyd, and then at my hand still firmly clasping his. The devious smile that spread across her face soothed my worry. "Looks like you've settled in very well."

I blushed. "Auntie-" but I cut myself off with an amused sigh. There was no point. She was too much like my mother.

She squeezed my nose before I could talk any further and turned to the boy beside me, who was subtly growing smug at my embarrassment. "You must be Lloyd. My little sister told me a lot about you." Rose patted his shoulders and turned serious. "If anyone gives you trouble, you call Y/n, okay? She'll give 'em a few warning shots."

Lloyd raised his brows. "Oh?"

"I'm pretty sure that's illegal," I quickly said, and promptly turned the conversation before it could go in a direction I wasn't yet prepared for. I squeezed Lloyd's hand. "We should get going."

Rose's nose scrunched at me with a big, happy smile. "Enjoy your date!" She poked a finger into Lloyd's chest and scowled. "You better be good to her." And then she swept aside and rushed towards my mother's open arms.

  "She's nice," Lloyd commented. "I see why you love her so much."

I smiled softly. "She is." But I couldn't quite appreciate her presence fully - not with my stomach still turning nervous circles, as if I'd been stalked and was about to get pounced on by a tiger.

The sound of a car door shutting made both of us look towards Rose's SUV. My smile dropped. Simon.

"Let's go," I muttered, and began dragging Lloyd to where Nya's pet-project-truck was waiting at the curb. He wordlessly obliged.

I shot Simon a glare over the hood of Rose's car as we passed and then faltered at the look on his face. He usually went out of his way to torment me, but this time it was like I wasn't even there. He stared at Lloyd with such a strange, venom-filled expression that I felt my unease worsen until my knees felt weak. His yellow eyes were unblinking, like a snake who's spotted its next meal. He looked like he wanted to slice Lloyd into pieces and run his white hair red with his blood.

That uneasy feeling of mine tripled in intensity with such vigour that I felt as though I'd been hit in the back of the head. I almost stumbled. Lloyd didn't notice the way Simon was looking at him, but he did notice the way my entire body had stiffened.

Simon's chilling gaze dropped briefly to me and it landed like a knife through my eye. He turned to follow his mother inside before Lloyd could track my frozen stare to my cousin's strange expression.

"Y/n?" He placed a warm hand on my back and frowned at how tense I'd become. My muscles were taut like I was preparing to bolt.

Lloyd peeked behind us at Simon's retreating figure. His arm slid around my waist and he pulled me forward to walk, and my stiff legs made it challenging but he was strong enough to force them to move. He dropped his head to mine as we half-hobbled to his truck.

"Did something happen?" he quickly asked. He yanked open the door and the shrieking hinges made me flinch. "Did he say something to you?"

I had just enough control over my mobility to shake my head. I didn't know why I reacted so viscerally. Simon hated everyone - so why did his glare at Lloyd make me feel like he was going to kill him? He wasn't some kind of psychopathic murderer, just an asshole.

Lloyd gave me a look like he was entirely lost on what to do, and I wanted to both laugh and cry because I was exactly the same. I managed to step up into the truck and sit in the seat, eyes bleary and unseeing, and in my next blink we were halfway down the street.

Lloyd held my hand. He changed gears with his wrist.

"We need to talk to Wu about this."

That tore me from my disquiet state. "But he's so busy with his tea shop."

"Then we tell my parents," he said.

My gaze fell to the floor. I just wanted this feeling to pass, not make a big deal out of it. It was probably just some evolved form of anxiety. Super anxiety.

"They're also busy..." I murmured. If I become a burden and they start to dislike me, I think I might just shrivel up and die.

  Lloyd sighed, and regret rocketed through my body. It was as if he could read my thoughts. I grimaced at the words that I'd already predicted he'd say next;

"If you don't believe yourself to be important enough to be taken care of, then how can you look after yourself?" he asked. "You're not a nuisance, Y/n, you're part of us. My parents would want to know if something's bothering you."

I rested my forehead against the cold window of the door beside me. How could I explain to him that I struggled with my own meagre self-worth before I'd even met him? How could I find the words to tell him that after hearing about my place in his world, it only got worse?

Lloyd grew up knowing he was important. I grew up believing I was another face among the crowd, that it was better to be quiet and easy. That kind of mentality doesn't just fade overnight. His insistence, his family's open arms and their boundless care pushed me out of my comfort zone. It wasn't a bad position to be in, but it certainly wasn't easy to get used to.

I sunk into my seat. The uneasy sensation had turned into the feeling of my muscles rolling beneath my skin with each shiver of dread. Something was impending. I just didn't know what.

"Sorry," Lloyd murmured when my silence stuck for a beat too long. "I just don't like seeing you look down on yourself."

I ducked my head with guilt. Great. Now he was apologising to me. He was the last person who needed to do that. The only response I could give was to squeeze his hand tight and hope that it elevated his worry a little, but of course it didn't. The rest of the drive went by quietly.

Wu's tea shop sat at the base of the Wailing Alps in a clearing closer to Nom than Ninjago City and was just as remote as the monastery. The tea shop was a hour car ride south, though I could imagine that it'd take no more than fifteen minutes by dragon.

I felt my awe conquer my prolonging fear at the sight of the place. Just like the monastery, Wu's tea shop was majestic. We passed by rows of tea bushes of various types, where a few monks with cane baskets were picking the leaves under the circling sails of an old wooden windmill. The truck passed beneath a torri gate and parked at the edge of a large, circular court yard with an elegant flower-like design made of river stones embedded in the cream-coloured concrete.

I stepped out of the truck and was immediately hit with a wave of summer warmth. The air was just was fresh out here as the Monastery, and almost seemed to tickle the hairs on my arm with magic. This must've been another place that Uchū liked to visit.

At the end of the courtyard was a building that looked like a smaller, beige version of the monastery, complete with curved roofs and pillars. On the very top roof was a large cut-out of a teapot. Two smaller storage buildings sat on either side of the yard, bordered by a stone wall that ran along behind them. Branches of maple trees peeked from over the top and swayed in the breeze. A waterfall from the mountain overhead crashed behind the tea shop and created a pleasant background noise.

But what was really amazing was the team, all dressed in white shirts with the same logo as the teapot cut-out with Steep Wisdom beneath it and not looking happy about it. They even had teapot-shaped hats on their heads. Lloyd and I shared baffled looks.

"Is this a fashion show?" he asked as we crossed the courtyard to where they were complaining amongst each other.

"Good! You're here." Nya stuck out a folded shirt and extra hat to Lloyd. "Join us in humiliation."

Before Lloyd could come up with an excuse to not do that, his phone buzzed. He checked before relaxing into an amused grin and giving a helpless shrug.

"I would love to, I really would," he began sarcastically, "but I've got a mission. There's been a break-in at the museum."

Jay, Kai and Cole groaned. Nya hung her head with a whine. I went cold with an eerie sense of trepidation at the thought of him leaving.

"Will you be long?" I asked.

Kai chortled. "Worried that you'll miss him too much?"

"Aren't we good enough for you?" Jay teasingly pouted. I would laugh along if it weren't for the fear currently wrapping my throat into sailor's knots. Zane frowned at my unchanged expression.

"Are you well?" he asked. "You are more anxious than usual."

My hands tucked tightly behind my back and gripped each other tight enough to strangle. "I'm fine." They could all tell I was lying. My cheeks flushed at their varying gazes of doubt.

"She's not," Lloyd corrected. "It might be her powers playing up again. Can you look after her while I'm gone?"

I jumped when Cole leant his arm on my shoulder. "'Course, man."

Lloyd relaxed. "Thanks." He turned his attention back to me and brushed a thumb along my cheek. "I'll be right back. Promise me that you'll talk to my mom about what's going on."

My eyes fell away with reluctance, but how could I keep denying him when he was so concerned? If he kept looking at me like that, I might prematurely pledge him my undying loyalty on Uchū's honour. "... okay."

Lloyd's face turned into a relived smile. He pecked my forehead and bade a quick farewell to us all before summoning Post-It Note the dragon (name pending) and flying back towards the city. I was too nervous to even be embarrassed by his kiss and the way Kai and Jay coed at us.

I watched him until he disappeared. The tugging sensation in my stomach almost dragged me forward, as though I was caught in a gale and struggling to stay upright. My nose tickled with impending tears of frustration.

Cole's hand squeezed my shoulder. He frowned when I peeked up at him. "You alright, buddy? What's going on?"

I helplessly shook my head. "I wish I knew."

"Will wearing this make you feel better?" Jay grabbed Lloyd's unused teapot hat from Nya and held it out for me. That managed to pull a smile to my face.

"Sure." I placed it on my head and cracked a forced grin. "I feel better already."

Even Zane chuckled at my dry comment. I had just enough time to be a teensy bit proud beneath my torment before Wu approached with a stack of papers.

"Ah, Y/n, how nice of you to join us," he said with a warm smile that wrinkled his face. "Misako is helping Garmadon stack the shelves inside if you would like to talk with her."

He'd obviously overheard. I nodded. Definitely no backing out now.

"Now, if we want to make this tea shop a success, then we've all got to do our part." Wu handed out stacks of paper which promoted Steep Wisdom to the team. "Remember - no powers. We do not want one of you revealing your identity. This is a civilian mission, not a ninja one."

While the ninja groaned and summoned their dragons, Wu led me inside. He was grinning to himself in amusement, like the teapot hats were just some kind of practical joke, and that made me smile, too. Nothing like teasing the ninja to make you feel better.

"Y/n!" Garmadon cheerily greeted when we entered, standing at the top of a short ladder as he stocked shelves. He brightened when he saw my new hat. "Ah, I see you've embraced the beauty of my pot-head. I designed it myself."

"Please, stop calling it that," Misako begged as I giggled. "You're a terrible influence."

"If it works, it works."

I placed the hat on the counter and bent to help Misako pull packets of pre-made tea out of a cardboard box. She smiled at me in thanks. An old record player spun a disc of classic music, but even that didn't calm me.

"Why did you want to start a tea shop?" I asked Wu before I could get encouraged to talk to Misako. Stalling was my best ability.

Wu set me with a gentle, patient look like he knew exactly what I was doing. "With Lloyd now skilled enough to teach classes and Garmadon assisting me with the ninja, I find myself with an abundance of spare time that I did not know what to do with."

"Now he's tea shop rivals with Mistaké," Garmadon said with a snicker. "You have no fear when it comes to that woman, brother."

Wu leant his hands on his staff and closed his eyes contently. "I am simply selling tea. It is she who sells magic."

  Magic? I thought back to the time I met her and agreed that she could definitely be one to have an involvement in the mystic arts. She had that mysterious, scary vibe of an old lady who knew much more than you'd ever guess.

"I didn't know Lloyd taught classes," I said. I supposed him telling me that he taught martial arts before I knew about him being the green ninja wasn't entirely a fib. "Is that why the monks call him Master Lloyd?"

"It is, though he hates the name," Misako chuckled. "He finds the status of it uncomfortable."

I shook my head in disbelief. "How does he even have time to do homework?"

Garmadon snorted. "You think he's ever done his homework? That boy may be dedicated to his job, but his grades are terrible." He yelped when Misako threw an empty box at him. "What? We all know it!"

"He tries his best," Misako chastised.

My smile faded as their bickering grew into a fuzzy hum. I stared at the tea container in my hand as the bad feeling in my gut began to grow and grow, blooming forth like a plague. My hands began to shake. My sight went blurry.

What was going on? Why was I feeling so terrible? My stomach turned so violently that I both wanted to faint and throw up. I grew clammy. I'd never felt so suddenly unwell before in my life. My heart began to race like I was sprinting, but I was sure that I was entirely still.

Maybe a lie down would make me feel better.

I stood, opened my mouth to speak, and then teetered so wildly with vertigo that I staggered backwards into the counter. The container in my hands dropped to the floor. The senseis and Misako stared at me.

"Sorry-" I mumbled, and went to pick it up, only to gasp at the wicked onslaught of pain in my chest. I fell to my knees. My eyes darted in confusion. Hands grasped my shoulders, but I could barely feel them. The only thing I could hear was my own blood rushing. The only thing I could think of was-

Lloyd.

  'Sometimes it's just our ancestors giving a warning.'

Lloyd.

The shock of realisation was blisteringly cold.

It wasn't anxiety. It wasn't fear or my powers acting out of control. It was a warning. A warning I'd ignored.

Through my dizziness, through the pain, I found Misako's worried eyes.

"Something's wrong," I whispered.