Pixies
••• All I Think About Now •••

i try to think about tomorrow
but i always think about the past
about the things that didn't last

•••••

ayo sorry for disappearing ujhh i fell in love with a truck (again) (it's optimus prime)

  "Are you sure she's ready?" Nya asked as she leant against the outside training yard's bamboo fence. "Spinjitsu's pretty complex."

  Lloyd scratched Kashu's head while waiting for me to finish my warmup sets. I kept getting distracted by how my boyfriend gleamed in the early morning sunlight, rosy and golden, and I'd almost tripped more than once because of it. Even nonchalant, he was the epitome of beauty.

  While part of me was screaming about all the schoolwork I'd missed over the past two days, a bigger part of me was resolute; I needed to learn to fight. My training needed to intensify so I could catch up to the team - or come close to it, at the very least. I could focus on my schoolwork while my body rested.

  "It's the best defensive move we know. Even if Y/n can't fight with offence, at least she'll be able to protect herself," Lloyd reasoned.

  As soon as he had mentioned our plan to Nya over our light pre-workout breakfast, she'd insisted on tagging along. Not for amusement, nor to critique my technique or Lloyd's training - but to make sure that I didn't overdo it. Spinjitsu was powerful. If I didn't do it right, I could get seriously hurt.

  Nya crossed her arms with a worried frown. "Okay, just... remember to take things slow." She sent me a suspicious squint of her stormy-grey eyes. "I'm looking at you, Y/n, you overachiever."

  I raised my hands with a placating smile. "I'll be as slow as a sloth."

  Nya huffed with half-amusement at my reply. She took a seat next to Kashu and laid her hand on his back. He nudged his wet, brown nose against her stomach for love.

  I stopped at attention when my warmup was done and turned to Lloyd. He stood beside a lever that poked out from a concrete section of the wall with his hand resting upon it. I eyed it curiously.

  "Spinjitsu is hard on the body," Lloyd said. "It'll bring you to failure before you expect it. Listen to yourself. The most important part of training is how you recover."

  I nodded in understanding. "Let's do it."

  Lloyd sighed with a small, hesitant smile. He was clearly still reluctant about the recent events and the decision I've made because of it. Nonetheless, he yanked the lever up to begin the session.

  When Lloyd first mentioned that we'd jump straight into Spinjitsu training, I was more elated than I was nervous. Spinjitsu - are you kidding me?! I could do the same thing that Lloyd did when he needed to take out a bajillion bad guys at once? Spinjitzu defied physics. It was a move made of magic.

  But now, with the concrete ground rumbling beneath my feet, I was quickly beginning to feel overwhelmed.

  I gawked at the impressive obstacle course that rose from the depths beneath the monastery. There were ramps to take off from, pillars to dodge or hop across, hoops to leap through, bars to swing from and massive stone boulders hanging from chains that swung like pendulums. All the blood drained from my face.

  "This is the Supin Kōsu. It's an ancient obstacle course that everyone who wants to learn Spinjitsu first needs to train on," Lloyd explained once the clacking of machinery settled. "It'll teach you the correct form and power needed to initiate the move."

  Hesitantly, I pushed one of the wooden arms sticking out from the mu ren zhuang before me. It creaked as it gently spun on its axis. I guessed there wasn't a beginner-friendly kōsu.

  Lloyd approached from the wall. Like me, he was dressed in workout gear, but I had a staunch feeling that only one of us was going to be going through hell today. Nya scratched Kashu behind the ear as they both watched us.

  "Everything you've learnt so far has been non-combative," Lloyd continued when he stopped before me. "The process of creating Spinjitsu is the same. When utilised, you can defeat your enemies without even laying a hand on them."

  Uncertainty reared its ugly head. "... which sounds awesome, but are you sure I can even do it? I don't have an Elemental Power."

  "It's not about what powers you have, it's about your technique and heart. Mum doesn't have powers and she can do it. Some of the more experienced monks can, too," he answered.

  I frowned with confusion. "Then how come your Spinjitsu is coloured like your powers?"

  Lloyd faltered. He glanced back at Nya, who looked a little more alert after my question. She pondered for a moment before shrugging. Lloyd turned back to me with a lost look.

  "That's... a really good question," he admitted.

  I wearily sighed. "I'll just add that to my growing list of things I'd like to know but don't."

  With that hanging in the air, Lloyd went around the obstacle course as an example. His speed was electric, his movements sure and confident. Halfway through the course, vibrant green streaks began to form around his somersaulting body. By the time he reached the end, he was encased entirely by his Spinjitsu. The entire process took only seconds.

  Lloyd's shoes skidded across the ground when he came to a halt before me, the wind from his dissipated Spinjitsu so fierce that my hair flew back in its breeze. He wasn't even flushed or out of breath. It was exasperating how athletic he was.

  "It's pretty straightforward," he said.

  Straightforward? Surely he was pulling my leg. I watched his face and waited for him to grin and laugh it off, but he remained serious. My heart sank.

  "In theory," Nya piped up.

  Lloyd startled. "Y- yes. In theory."

  I slowly nodded and eyed the obstacle course with more concern. I was beginning to regret last night's bout of determination. Why did I always talk myself into situations far above my skill level?

  My doubt must've been palpable because Lloyd held out his hand for me to take. I met his gentle gaze.

  "We'll walk through it together," he said. "Slowly. Baby steps."

  His unending kindness always soothed my uncertainty. I inhaled deeply and took his hand. "Okay."

  As the sun rose into the late dawn sky and bled the clouds blue, I followed Lloyd across, around and through the complex Supin Kōsu. He explained how to approach each obstacle, when to twist my body and how much power to use. He used so much jargon and such meticulous detail that most of it went right over my head despite my attempt to drink in every word.

  In what took him mere seconds to complete took us half an hour. My body trembled with exertion.

  "So, I just do it again?" I asked.

  "Yep," Nya said with a smirk from beside us. Kashu had fallen asleep with his chin on her knee. "You do it over and over until you start seeing it in your nightmares."

  Lloyd sent her tease a displeased frown. "Nya."

  She nonchalantly shrugged. "S' what happened to me."

  I sent her a small smile. Huffing through his nose, Lloyd returned his attention to me. With his hand on my back, he guided me to the start of the course again.

  "It's just something you keep trying to get faster at," he reassured. "The real challenge isn't the obstacles themselves, it's about keeping your form correct while increasing your speed." He took a few steps back and crossed his arms. "Why don't you try it alone this time? I'll be here to guide you."

  I really would rather do anything else instead of going through it alone, but I'd asked for this, and damn if I was a person who went back on their word. I rolled my shoulders and forced myself to at least fake some confidence.

  My start was strong - a good, solid run - until I got to the first obstacle; a series of pillars that I needed to hop from one to the other. It towered above me. My attempt to climb it quickly was in vain, my core already aching from our prior walk-through. My arms shook. My fingers ached from gripping the edge.

  "Slower," Lloyd instructed. "You're trying to force a result you're not ready for yet."

  Grunting, I released the pillar top and wrung my hands. After a quick reorientation and recalling how Lloyd showed me to mount it, I was up.

  Being on top of the pillars made my heart a little woozy. My leaps to each next top was hesitant and cautious, frightened by the images of slipping off the side that my imagination produced.

  It was still slow, far slower than I would've liked, but after bumping into the pendulums hard enough to bruise my shoulders and almost getting beat up by the mu ren zhuang, I'd completed the course. I staggered to the finish line.

  I bent over and braced my hands on my knees. My lungs tasted metallic. My limbs were buzzing. My entire body burned with exertion. How the hell did Lloyd do it so fast?

  "Is there a time limit?" I asked between breaths.

  "Just how long it takes Wu to finish a cup of tea," Nya replied.

  I sent her an incredulous look. "What? He drinks tea like it's water!" My stare turned to Lloyd. "Are you serious?"

  Tickled by my reaction, he pursed his lips into a grin and nodded. "It's how we all learnt."

  I straightened and turned to glare at the course. All of this in the time it took Wu to toss back a cup of tea like a teen with a shot? This monastery was full of insane people. "Fuck."

  Nya giggled. Lloyd dropped his chin with a chuckle.

  "Again," my boyfriend with impossible stamina stats amusedly ordered.

  Stifling back a groan of exhaustion, I dragged my feet back to the starting line. Well, only one way to improve my time. I just had to keep going at it and at it until I found myself at Lloyd's level. If I could ever.

  I took off towards the pillars and scrambled up faster than I did before, more aware of where to place my hands and how much force I needed to leap up with. I was still too cautious to skip across them like how Lloyd did, hesitating at each jump.

  Nya shouted encouragement. I leapt to the ground and dodged the mu ren zhuang, before dashing up the ramp and launching for the bar.

  My sweaty hands slipped. I landed on my ass with a yelp. The shock travelled through my tailbone, right up my spine, and vibrated within my brain.

  "Ooh." Lloyd winced. He jogged toward me while I grimaced on the stone. "You alright, sunshine?"

  I'm pretty sure my ego was more bruised than my body. "Please tell me everyone was as bad as I am?"

  He held his hand out for me with a crooked smile. "Nobody starts out fantastic. It takes a while to find your way of doing it."

"I thought you said that form and power have to be perfect to get Spinjitsu?" I asked as I was pulled upright.

  "Well, yeah, technically," Lloyd said. He pushed some of my hair back into its place. "But there are many roads to get to the same destination. Every body is different, we all have different strengths and weaknesses."

  I brushed off the dust from my pants with a frown. "How do I know what my strength is?"

  He tilted his head with a thoughtful look. "You need to observe your body. Take note of what you excel at and what you struggle with. Most of all, you've gotta be patient."

  I wearily sighed. Yeah, everything was about being patient, wasn't it? If it wasn't waiting for Axon and his Master to no longer be an issue, then it was patience for our unknown prophecies, and if it wasn't them then it was my disobedient powers. Time just seemed to pass by far too slowly.

  Lloyd walked me back to the start with a hand that rubbed my back. Nya gave me a supportive thumbs up when I meekly caught her eye, my face flaming with embarrassment. Kashu tiredly blinked.

  "For me, it's instinctual. My body knows what to do," Lloyd continued. "Cole's strong. He can bat away the pendulums without breaking a stride. Jay's fast, he zips through this course like a bolt. Nya's nimble and fluid, Zane does it textbook perfectly, and Kai's determination carries him through." He shrugged. "You just gotta find your feeling."

  I sent him a curious look. "What does your feeling feel like?"

  Lloyd hummed with thought. "... you know when you're running and you get a second wind? It's like that, but times a thousand. I get this rush of momentum that's bursting inside of me and spinjitsu is the only one way to let it out."

  "Huh." Like getting a shot of adrenaline or something.

  "When I was younger, I used to describe it as feeling like I'm a booger getting flicked by a giant."

  I faltered at his comment and smirked. "Descriptive lil' guy, weren't you?"

  He grinned. "Still am, thanks."

  "For me, it feels like I'm a dam," Nya added. "The pressure keeps building up and building up and then something just clicks. It all gets released at once. It's amazing."

   "Like peeing," Lloyd noted.

  Unimpressed at his comparison, Nya flicked her finger, sending a ball of water splashing directly into his face. Lloyd stumbled back with a splutter of surprise. I laughed at his flabbergasted expression.

  "Nice, Nya," he dryly complained.

  She hugged Kashu's head with a sly grin. "Refreshing, isn't it?"

  He rolled his eyes and pushed his damp hair back from his face. I envied the way water rolled down his chin and neck, the way he sparkled in the sun. My sweat felt even hotter and stickier than before.

  "Let's go again," Lloyd said.

  Taking a deep breath, I turned back to the Supin Kōsu and took off at a run.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

  After having a shower and washing my hair of all the sweat that had accumulated from getting my ass handed to me by an obstacle course, I was told to head to the scroll room by a passing monk.

  Drying my hair with a towel, I poked my head inside. Lloyd was already there, sitting at the table with all of our parents, Wu, Dimitri and Zane, whom were going over a stack of documents. Everybody seemed relatively calm despite the events of the past few days, except for my dad. He looked stressed, pacing the room and typing furiously on his phone.

  I eyed him curiously as I took my seat with a wince - my body wouldn't be forgiving me for that training session anytime soon. There was a bit of humour in Lloyd's grin as he watched my slow movements. I sent him a stink-eye back.

  "Good morning," I greeted. I got a collection of replies.

  "Good morning, darling," Misako warmly said. "How was your training?"

  "I'm sore in places I didn't even know existed," I answered. "What's happening? Is it the Master?"

  Just mentioning Axon's Master made my blood run cold. I still hadn't managed to get rid of that awful feeling that crawled along the back of my head - the fact that people had been stalking me and listening in on my life had uprooted me in the most violent way I'd ever experienced. I was just glad that I felt comfortable enough in the monastery.

  Noticing my unease, Lloyd poured me some tea from the old kettle that sat in the centre on the table. This one was mottled grey and decorated with hand-painted branches blooming with sakura blossoms. The tea that was poured into the matching cup smelt of warm spices. I took it from his hand with a small smile.

  "There's a few things we need to catch you up on," Wu said. "Firstly, Skylor has offered to lead an investigation into this 'Master' Axon speaks of. Pixal will be assisting her full-time and Borg will fund the mission. The Elemental Masters that can spare time from their commitments will be rotating in shifts."

  Talking about the reality of things made me unable to pretend it was some awful nightmare. My fingers clasped around the hot ceramic of my cup. I ignored the burn.

  "Neuro will be putting a shield up around your home, much like the monastery's," Garmadon added. "It won't keep you safe from returning back to your regular routine but if you ever feel homesick, you can return."

  "Thank you..." I said quietly, because I really wasn't sure how else to respond. I understood the sentiment but it just felt like I was being offered to jump from one cage to another. "Um... what about my schoolwork? I still want to go for a scholarship."

  "I have already sent through a request for you to participate in your classes remotely," Zane said. "They think you are at your father's base doing on-site training under an archaeologist."

  I glanced between him and my pacing father with a stunned expression. I was terrified that my inability to be out in public would reflect poorly upon my record, but they were able to come up with an excuse that would make it look even better than before? I found myself wishing it was real.

  "That's awesome, thank you." It gave me one less thing to stress about. If I wasn't still so drained and numb, I'd be bowing at their feet.

  "As for your proposal for a treaty with the Serpentine, we have been given support from both the Elemental Masters and the military to proceed," Wu said.

  The sip of my tea was cut short with a splutter. Lloyd was just as surprised by the news as I was.

  "Really?" he said with disbelief. "That's surprising."

  "A few of the older Masters did resist at first," Misako admitted, before turning to me to elaborate; "they were the ones who fought alongside us and share a first-hand account of the war. But after we explained your reasoning, they began to understand why peace should at least be attempted."

  This was news I could actually be excited about. I leant forward earnestly.  

  "What happens now?" I asked.

  Garmadon answered me. "We will need to come up with a basic agreement, something to prove that the Serpentine are willing to work with us. I believe that it will also be beneficial to get the Emperor and Empress' support before approaching the Government." He paused to sheepishly chuckle. "Though, I do not recommend me going myself. They might have a bias against me due to my... past actions."

  I sunk into my seat with bewilderment - this was going to be sent up to the famously elusive Emperor and Empress? But nobody ever saw them. These days, they were totally removed from political matters. I supposed their titles still held some sway after all.

  "Wow," I whispered. The world was in motion for a major change, all because I heard a little kid crying. It was unfathomable. I could barely wrap my head around the significance of it all.

  Dad stopped pacing with a groan and a pinch of his nose.

  "Look, it's a good idea, I admit - but there's a psycho out there who's got a hit on my daughter," he stiffly reminded. "Can't the Masters tackle one thing at a time?"

  "James," Mum admonished.

  Dad looked ready to rip his hair out. He took a deep breath and forced his voice to remain at a reasonable volume. "Love, her room was bugged. There are people out there trying to kill our little girl! I'm sorry if my priorities are a little single-minded at the moment."

  Mum's stern frown faded with stony acknowledgement. She was pissed off about everything, too - she was just far better at hiding it.

  "This is why the Elemental Masters will not be part of the meetings," Wu said. "Y/n will, if she wants."

  What? I turned to Wu with a deep chill of anxiety. "I'm sorry?"

  "It was you who made a brief companion out of a young Serpentine. I believe you will garner at least a little consideration for the cause if you are present," Wu kindly explained. "You will not be alone. You won't even need to speak."

  I took a sip of my tea with a small frown. The warmth bled through my body and bloomed, but I was tensing just as fast as it was comforting me. I wanted there to be a treaty but the pressure of it relying on me being there - even just quietly attending - was terrifying.

  It was times like this when I missed the days when I was unimportant.

  "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Lloyd sceptically asked. "We just moved Y/n here to keep her safe. Now you want her going back out?"

  Dad gestured to Lloyd in agreement. Their ongoing amicability was starting to unnerve me a little.

  But he did have a good point. Taking me out to the Serpentine Tombs seemed contradictory to the whole reason as to why my life had been so drastically changed. Wasn't I meant to stay in a safe house to be kept... safe?

  Misako must've read the hesitance on my face, because she reached over the table and laid her hand upon mine with gentleness.

  "It will only be if you want to," she said, firm and kindly. "There hasn't been a date set yet - we still need to reach out to them to organise it. Nonetheless, I'm sure everything will be back to normal by then."

  I smiled weakly. Her reassurance was comforting but still lacked much to raise my conviction. I'd believe it when Axon's Master was behind bars with him.

  Dad cursed beneath his breath with ire and gained our attention. He glanced at his audience before meekly grimacing.

  "Sorry," he said.

  "What's wrong?" Mum asked.

  "It's the Defence Secretary," Dad wearily answered. "He's not fond of me asking for time off right after agreeing to our support for the treaty." He sent me a torn look. "I don't want to leave you when things are like this, bug."

  I tried for a smile even though my heart was aching. I didn't want him to go yet. I wanted my dad with me - I wanted his support and fierce presence, even if I did sometimes find it stifling. I felt safer with him around. He wouldn't let me get hurt.

  "I'll be okay," I quietly said.

  Lloyd's hand slid up to rest on my shoulder. I glanced at him - he wouldn't let me get hurt, either. It was the one thing they had in common.

  "Y/n will be safe here," Lloyd said. "I won't let anything happen to her."

  Dad regarded him for a moment. "You know, I think I'm actually starting to trust you."

  Usually, this would be when Lloyd would crack some tease or sarcastic remark, but he just stayed silent and steadfast. I almost found myself wishing he did. Green Ninja seriousness only added to my harsh reality.

  I stared at the surface of my tea and found my tired eyes watching back.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

  It was weird not going home on Sunday night. It was even weirder setting my schoolwork up on the previously bare desk in my new room and knowing that it was where I was going to be spending my foreseeable future. At least the view to the garden was nice.

  Lloyd had helped me unpack my belongings. I thought it would've made me feel more at home in this room that was older than the city itself, but it just felt strange. My laptop with its Sailor Moon stickers didn't quite match the ancient tapestry of a mountain that hung from the wall above it. My fantasy romance books didn't suit the old wood shelf with its vintage wallpaper backing and dusty volumes of ancient ninjitsu techniques.

  Dad left after dinner, having been commanded along with First Sergeant Jonesy to return to their duties in the Ignacia Military Base. I'd sorely noticed their absence from the moment I watched them descend the front steps. The rest of the night swung by in an absentminded daze.

  And then my dull routine began.

  I'd wake and have breakfast with Mum, the Senseis, Misako and the team before they all went their separate ways; the team to school, Cole on his various missions, Misako to the museum, Mum to her own new office-bedroom, and the Senseis doing whatever research it was that they found themselves tied up with.

  I'd sit down at my desk, read the summary of each lesson that Zane (who had adjusted his class schedule to replicate mine) transcribed for me in real-time and complete any corresponding assignments. I'd have lunch with whichever Monk was lingering in the kitchen at the same time and then return to my desk and 'attend' my afternoon classes. Then, after my last class was concluded, I'd train on the Supin Kōsu and get absolutely destroyed. 

  It started out fine. I even found myself content for the first few days, but by the time Thursday rolled around I was beginning to feel the effects of cabin fever. I wasn't particularly fond of the student body that tormented Lloyd and our friends, but I did miss the learning environment, the socialisation and the routine. I missed Naomi, Chen and Aaliyah. I even found myself missing Claire.

  I was restless. The smallest things were starting to irritate me a lot more than they should, like the shrill cries of the birds from the garden or the murmur of monks passing outside my door. The Monastery, of which I once thought was grand and expansive, felt as if it was closing in on me. Trying to keep my attention on the words on my laptop's screen was like trying to hold water in my hands.

  My pen slammed down onto my notebook with more force than necessary. There was no way I was getting any work done when it felt as if I had firecrackers for limbs. 

  "If you need a break, you can just take one," Lloyd said from where he was perched on the end of my bed and meditating. "That's the benefit of doing school from home."

  Coincidentally, it was his fourth day of ditching.

  I turned in my seat and frowned at him. He sat cross-legged on my borrowed duvet with stitched depictions of sakura trees, in his lounge clothes and with his eyes shut. He exuded a calmness I couldn't seem to adopt.

  Lloyd wasn't missing school like I was - but he wasn't stuck here like I was, either. He came and went when duty called, and then left with the team for their patrols in the evenings. While they did that, I was stuck on the same Supin Kōsu, trying to increase my speed under one of the Senseis' expert eyes.

  "You can't skip school for the whole time I'm stuck here, Lloyd," I said. "Your attendance record's gonna look... well, even worse."

  He didn't even crack open an eye. "Oh, noo. That's too bad."

  I swelled with frustration. Lloyd was blessed with the freedom I once had and he wasn't even using it to go to school. Hell, he wasn't even trying to do the homework that the others brought back with them each day. It made me want to yank my hair hard enough to rip it out of my scalp.

  "People are going to start talking, you know," I snapped. "The rumours about you are going to get worse. They'll think you sacrificed me to the Overlord or something."

  At that, Lloyd did crack open an eye. The green wedge that glimmered from beneath his lashes watched me with interest.

  "Or that we ran away together," he mused. "Maybe they'll think we sailed away to the Dark Island to elope and raise an army of evil Stone Warriors. That sounds like a fun romance story."

  I turned back to my laptop with a scoff. "You're not funny."

  Lloyd huffed a laugh of surprise at my unkind comment and my shoulders hunched to my ears. Now I was brimming with both frustration and shame. The white screen burned my retinas and blurred my focus into unreadable phrases and indecipherable chemical equations.

  I jumped when warm arms slid around my shoulders. My restlessness yearned to yank away from him and fizz until I exploded, but every other part of me sunk into his touch. He pressed his lips to my hairline.
 
  "Come on, sunshine," Lloyd murmured. "Let's go for a walk. You need to get out."

  "Go for a walk where? Laps around the garden?" I seethed before immediately getting swamped with another crushing wave of shame. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to act like a dick."

  He kissed my temple. "I get it. No matter how much you liked this place before, being stuck here can't make you feel any better about it."

  My unwanted prickliness soothed at his unwavering patience and I held his arm with a guilty sigh. I felt like I'd aged a million centuries in the past week alone. The pressure was smothering, but Lloyd was ever-soothing.

  I nuzzled into the crook of his elbow with a whine. "How am I gonna survive if I can't even handle a week? I'm going crazy."

  "You need to have a break." Lloyd spun my chair around and gathered my hands in his. He tugged me to stand with a firm look. "Come with me, gorgeous. Let's get some fresh air."

  I had a feeling that if I refused to go he'd just fling me onto his shoulder and take me anyway. Despite my want to knuckle down and finish my work, I followed Lloyd as he led me out to the garden. It was an odd July day - the sun even felt a little bit warm.

  I stared at Lloyd's hand in mine with a small frown. We passed by monks tending to the weeds that never got too big and hanging out the laundry that never seemed to stop coming. They gave me pleasant smiles that I tried my best to return.

  My curiosity grew when I was led into the small maple forest, going so deep that we couldn't see the monastery anymore. I stopped short when Lloyd took a seat right on the dirt path. He looked up at me expectantly.

  "What are you doing?"

  He patted the ground beside him. "Take a seat."

  I pulled a bewildered look but followed his command, anyway. I crossed my legs and held my ankles, watching the greenery of the shrubs before us flutter in the breeze. It was cold beneath the leafless canopy.

  "You're smart, Y/n," Lloyd said. "Your mind runs a million miles faster than the world does. Your thoughts branch like spiderwebs that you can't control, and you work yourself to the bone just trying to keep up with them all."

  First Nya called me an overachiever and now Lloyd was pointing out the unending chase between me and my thoughts. My cheeks flamed. It was embarrassing how well they knew me.

  "Your brain is catapulting but you're in the same spot. And to you, being stuck in the same space is like trying to stuff all those spiderwebs into a box. You can't do it without them breaking. And with Axon and his Master... I'm guessing you've got a lot of spiderwebs."

  How was he able to explain to me exactly how my brain worked? Even I struggled putting it into words, and he just gave me the perfect metaphor that made it all seem so crystal clear. I sent him a baffled look.

  "Okay, did you develop your mind reading powers already?" I asked. "It is spooky how right you are."

  He smirked. "I just pay attention to you." 

  My heart flipped and flopped like a dying fish. I couldn't stop my bashful smile. "What's your point, Mr. Sensei-in-Training?"

  "Everything here is the same - the same walls, the same sounds, the same smells. If you can't expand your reality, then you need to expand your perception of it." Lloyd closed his eyes and tilted his chin back. I watched as he released a breath through parted lips. "All these same things have a million different things that you've never noticed before. Pause for a bit with me."

  I released a slow breath and closed my eyes. Even from beneath my jacket, the wind spread a chill across my skin. It was invigorating.

  "I thought you drew instead of meditated," I whispered.

  "I do both," Lloyd said. "I have more patience than I did when I was younger. I can work with my thoughts now instead of struggling against them, but sometimes it doesn't always work."

  Interesting. I loved learning more about how his mind worked. He was so different than anybody I'd ever met before - it was the demigod in him.

  "You think the Serpentine would do a Zoom call?" I quietly asked.

  Lloyd huffed through his nose with amusement. "You're not really grasping this whole 'meditation' thing, are you?"

  Whoops. I sucked my lips into my mouth. "Sorry."

  We were silent for a moment. The wind rustled through the bushes around us, rattling through and between the thick, green leaves. Birds trilled in the distance. A small animal scampered through the vegetation a little ways off. The air smelt cool and fresh and as sharp as a knife.

  Breath rolled through me, swelling and swaying within my lungs. Tension trickled from my body like water dripping from pipes, softening me one muscle at a time. My head was starting to feel a little clearer, a little less crowded. The ground beneath me was finally solid.

  But there was something that kept me from finding peace. A rapid tapping came from beside me. I peeked my eyes open and found Lloyd fidgeting, his finger flicking against the knee it rested upon with an unfettered tempo.

  "I think you might have technical difficulties considering they don't like to use man-made devices," he mentioned.

  The restless gnawing of my lips paused for me to grin. "I'm not grasping meditation? You're fidgeting like you've got ants in your pants."

  Lloyd groaned. The rustling of clothes and the thud of weight on dirt and dead leaves made me glance over at him. He'd dropped himself onto his back and stared at the cloudy sky above us with a complicated frown.

  "I'm not good at teaching this kind of stuff," he sullenly admitted.

  "Really?" I picked a leaf from the tips of his corn silk hair and flicked it aside. "But I'm already feeling better." 

  His green eyes flickered to me. I leant on my arm and offered a soft smile full of reassurance. It wasn't a lie, I was feeling better. The air had soothed my ire and the walk, no matter how short, had funnelled my agitated energy into moving. Being forced to take a break was the best thing for me.

  "I'm not good at sitting still and thinking of nothing, either," I said. Turning on my spot, I laid down on the cold ground beside him and got comfy. My sigh was amused. "You can't sit still and my mind won't stop running in circles. What a pair we make."

  "How am I ever gonna run the Monastery?"

  I laughed. "I think you're still a good few years away from worrying about that. You should turn your attention to your grades. You might get held back."

  "If they try to hold me back another year, I'm just going to drop out," Lloyd grumbled.

  My giggle continued before tapering into a content hum. I wove my fingers atop my stomach and stared at the cloudy film of the afternoon sky. The branches above us splayed out like the spiderwebs of my thoughts. My shoes tapped together.

  "Have you done more experimenting with your shapeshifting?" I asked.

  Lloyd turned his head to send me a confused look. "You mean the horns n' stuff?"

  "Yeah. It's easier to call it shapeshifting." I shrugged. "I mean, that's literally what it is, right?"

  He made a sound of thought. "Could be. But no, I haven't."

  I recalled the way his eyes went purple when he was pressing kiss after kiss to my neck. Then I recalled the way he'd destroyed the desk in Axon's interrogation room with his nails stretched out into talons. He was avoiding it, ignoring it. But he couldn't run away from himself forever.

  "You probably should," I said with quiet solemnity. "It's getting more frequent. Especially your eyes, though I do find the colour really pretty."

  My compliment didn't ease his aversion for his genetics as much as I'd hoped it would. He slung an arm over his face and growled a grunt of annoyance. I watched him with a small frown.

  "I already struggled enough just with my eyes turning red," Lloyd muttered under his breath. "But at least I knew why they changed colours. I can't control these purple eyes if I don't know why they're turning purple in the first place."

  I slid my fingers over his clenched fist and snuck inside his grip. He loosened enough to weave our fingers together, his hold firm and safe. I pulled his arm up to kiss his knuckles and reveal the frustrated knot of his brow.

  "That's why we need to train them," I gently advised. "Just like my powers, right?"

  Lloyd's eyes turned away with reluctance. "... yeah. Where do we start?"

  "Well... it happened when we, um, almost... y'know." I blushed at the memory of that night. "But it also happened when you stopped Axon. I'm not really sure what the correlation is, unless you have a crush I don't know about."

  Lloyd snorted. "I'm more attracted to people who don't want to kill me and everyone I love, thanks." His eyes widened with an idea before squinting with coy mischief. He turned onto his side and sent me a smirk. "We could always replicate the first situation..."

  My heart jumped when his palm slid beneath the hem of my shirt and squeezed my waist in suggestion. I slapped him away with a burning face. He recoiled his hand, grinning boyishly.

  "Absolutely not!" I exclaimed in horror. "People do not know how to knock in this place - and especially not when your dad and uncle have super hearing!"

  Lloyd laughed at my explosive reaction, dropping onto his back with his face scrunched by mirth. Twigs were getting tangled in his hair. I began to grin with him.

  "You're right, not the best idea," he chuckled.

  "Definitely not," I agreed. I'd much rather throw myself off the side of the Alps than be subjected to that level of embarrassment.

  Lloyd pushed himself up to sit with a small grin. I followed, brushing the dirt and dead leaves from the arms of my jacket. He stared at the ground for a moment and chewed on his lip in thought. I leant on my arms and watched the shrivelled leaves flutter in the wind.

  "Maybe it changes when I want to do something really bad," Lloyd mumbled with consideration. "Like I really wanted to stop Axon."

  I sent him a side-eyed, sly look. "What did you really want to do to me?"

  Lloyd took my tease with grace. He rose to his feet, pet the top of my head once, and began walking back to the monastery.

  "I think I'll let your imagination fill in the blanks."

  Flabbergasted, attacked by butterflies and a little intrigued, it took a moment for the shock of his answer to settle. I scrambled upright and hurried after him.

  "No fair!" I exclaimed. Lloyd barely stumbled as I careened into his side, latching onto his arm with a grip even he couldn't shake off. "Come on, tell me!"

  He snickered at my wide-grinned insistence. "Didn't you just throw a fuss about my dad having super hearing?"

  My smile fell with a roll of my eyes. I couldn't believe he just used my own grievance against me.
 
  "Whatever." I tugged him around to a halt and returned our conversation to the intended subject. "Seriously, though. At least try to do it on purpose."

  Lloyd humoured me with a sigh and a smile. He shuffled his feet and repositioned himself into something comfortable before closing his eyes. I picked a twig from the tips of his curls as he concentrated.

  "What do I really want..?" he asked himself. "Hmm... sushi. The crispy chicken kind with cream cheese."

  I huffed. "Lloyd."

  His lips began to betray his smirk. He forced himself to frown and cleared his throat. His brown eyebrows furrowed into a stern knot, and then he began to lean in the direction of where my fingers were assessing whether his horn nubs had grown.

  "The new Starfarer comic," he said with a sigh.

  "You're so unserious."

  Lloyd chuckled. "Okay, okay. I'll do it properly."

  I doubted it, considering that I'd given in and had begun scratching the base of his baby horns. His lashes were fluttering at the pleasant sensation. I was sure he'd sooner fall asleep.

  "You wanna know what I was thinking that night?" Lloyd quietly asked.  

  My stomach warmed. "What?"

  His hand lifted to hold my wrist. His thumb with its chipped black nail rested against my pulse. I could feel it with each beat of my artery, thumping into a race against his gentle press. His callouses scratched my skin.

  "How good it felt," he breathed.  

  My fingers paused. The corners of his lips twitched with amusement. He definitely heard the stumble of my heart - he would've felt it against the delicate skin of my wrist.

  "Not just being with you," Lloyd continued, his voice a gentle lilt on the breeze. "I mean how good everything felt with you. When you joined us for the celebration and to light the lantern... it just felt right. Like you were always meant to be there."

  I'd become a different type of breathless than I was before. My knees were weak beneath the mountain of gushy awe that had rested itself atop me. He was thinking like that while we shedded our inhibition?

  Lloyd tilted his head and kissed my palm. His eyes flickered open to meet mine; a vivid, hauntingly stunning shade that could put any hyacinth to shame. It made him look like a painting, as if he were ripped from some fantasy, a demigod torn from myth.

  His soft lips pushed against the flesh of my thumb, his breath coming hot and ticklish. My heart kept skipping like a scratched record. I was rooted beneath his disarming gaze.

  "It always feels right with you," Lloyd murmured. "When you're not around, it's like I'm missing something. Without you, I'm incomplete."

  I was going to crumble to the ground from how much I was swooning. "That's what you were thinking?"

  Lloyd matched my whisper. "That's what I was thinking."

  How could anyone get any more darling than this? The dead sticks and leaves in his hair, the black-tipped crown of horns that had grown just enough to peek through, the endeared look in his eyes; he was precious. I was appetent.

  He read my movements before I even made them, meeting me for the kiss I'd only just begun to reach up for. His arms dropped to wrap around my waist and gather into him, crowding me until my back began to arch. He folded with me. His hand squeezed my wrist tight with affection.

  I could kiss him forever, but Lloyd parted with a quiet gasp and a question in his purple eyes.

  "Did it work?" he asked.

  I took in his short horns and the way his canines had grown slightly longer from behind his reddened lips. His fingertips were still rounded and his skin remained free of scales, but there were faint swirls and whorls contouring his face as if someone had taken a paintbrush to him and made him a work of art. It wasn't quite as drastic as it had once been, but it was a great start.

  I could think more eloquently about it later. Right now, he'd robbed me of coherency.

  I listlessly nodded. "Yeah." I swallowed. "Yep." I abandoned my quest for composure and kissed him again instead. He was happy to reciprocate.

  "Don't you have work to do?" Lloyd spoke against my lips with a grin.

  "In a minute," I blissfully said, and drew my arms around him.

🍃🍂🍁🍂🍃

  It was halfway through my second week of living in the Monastery when a meeting had finally been set up with the leaders of the Serpentine.

  Lloyd scooped some dinner onto a plate for me as we sat around the table on Wednesday night. Zane had made chicken noodles, but for once, his impeccable cooking wasn't the subject of our conversation. We spoke of the recent news instead.

  "It still feels weird that we're going to ask them for a peace treaty," Kai admitted as he picked up some sautéed vegetables with his chopsticks. "I mean, we gave them the letter asking for a meeting while kicking their ass."

  "They didn't seem too enthusiastic," Lloyd agreed. He handed my plate to me.

  Nya snorted as she poured some tea into her cup. "Can you blame them? We're not exactly besties."

  That was the undisputed fact that hung over all of us. The history between Elemental Masters and the Serpentine was long and rarely was it good. The peace treaty was a pipe dream at best.

  "I am pleasantly surprised they agreed," Wu said. He stirred his tea with a peaceful grace, but he couldn't hide the wariness in his old eyes. "This may very well mark the birth of a new era."

  "If it even works," Cole sceptically said. "Who's going? Not Jay, I hope."

  "Excuse you!" Jay complained. "I bet I could be an awesome diplee- diaplo..."

  "Diplomat?" Zane offered.

  "Yeah, that!"

  "Diplomats are meant to be good at talking, Jay. You're just loud," teased Kai.

  Displeased, Jay sent a bolt of lightning toward Kai's chopsticks just as he was lifting a bit of crumbed steak to his mouth. He flung them aside with a yelp, meat and all.

  Kai scowled. "Hey-!"

  "The ninja will not be going," Misako said, effectively halting any brewing Elemental battles on the matter. "There is too much recent vitriol between you two. We do not want to visit them with the intention to create an agreement and end up in yet another fight."

  The team drew silent; both in agreement and from Misako's subtle reprimand.

  "The Senseis and I will go," Misako continued firmly. "Only Lloyd will join us as a spokesperson for the team. That is all."

  The ninja sullenly picked at their food. I stirred my chopsticks through my bowl, contemplating. Though I did want to see Raptra again, I didn't want to have to be civil to her brother and father. They were the reason Lloyd gained a new scar.

  But I also didn't want Lloyd to face them without me - and not just Raptra's family, but all of them. Lloyd's history with them was more complicated and personal than the others. In the face of loneliness, of his homelessness, he'd tried to find a place to belong with the Serpentine. They had been only cruel in response.

  I peeked at Lloyd. He was chewing his dinner and listening to something that Dimitri was saying. He looked unbothered. I wasn't sure how much of it I believed.

  I was going to face much worse than this one day. I needed to start bolstering my courage and doing things despite my fears.

  "... I'd like to go," I quietly said.

  The others turned at my soft-spoken announcement. It gained various reactions; some pleased, a few proud, but most were worried. Though it'd been a few weeks since Skylor and the other Elemental Masters began searching for Axon's boss, they had found zilch. I was still as vulnerable as I had been since... well, since I don't know when.

  "Are you sure?" Mum asked. "You don't have to if you don't want to."

  I offered her a reassuring smile. "I want to. Besides, I'll be with Lloyd, his parents and Wu. I'll be safe."

  Cole raised a brow. "As safe as you can be in the Serpentine Tombs."

  "It's a peace agreement," I reminded. "The Serpentine will hear us out - for their intrigue, if nothing else."

  Wu was in agreement. He placed his teacup down and gently smiled at me.

  "Very brave of you, Y/n," he complimented. "I do think your attendance will greatly increase the possibility of success. We shall head out tomorrow."

  It's also my responsibility to bear. I kept that to myself. They'd argue against it, of course, because shouldering each other's burdens was what Lloyd's entire family did best, but I was resolved. I was the one who found Raptra, I wanted to be the one to see this treaty through. For her sake.

  Lloyd was quiet through the rest of dinner and until we got into bed. With one arm tucked beneath his head of golden curls, he spun a shuriken between his fingers and contemplated the ceiling. My gaze kept straying to him, the words of my book before me unable to hold my attention.

  "What are you thinking about?" I asked.

  His green eyes turned to me. I wondered what he saw when he looked at me, how much I'd changed since we met. Lloyd had always been strong, a man made of legends and power since the moment our eyes caught. But I had been so weak. Neither of us had known how important I could be. Maybe I looked strong now, too.

  Or maybe Lloyd kept seeing that girl who couldn't hold his stare, who startled so badly that she'd cracked a skateboard over his head. Maybe he still saw the girl who kept getting herself into trouble - the one who bad luck kept on finding. Someone he needed to protect from herself. Someone who constantly needed him to be her hero.

  Memory was funny that way. Time kept marching on but our memories could remain stuck on something, stuck on someone, refusing to budge and follow the tide.

  He dropped his shuriken on the bedside table and stole the book from my hands. I was cradled into his chest before I could complain.

  "Can't keep you locked up in here forever," Lloyd murmured to himself.

  He slept with his arms around me so tight that I knew he wished otherwise.