Avala

I truly hoped to be awakened after the bliss of long enduring morning slumber, but it were two particularly loud birds near my window who seemed to be having a discussion in the early minutes of dawn. My numb brain still forced me to wonder whether birds were having feuds or were engaging in some kind of courtship display and why they had chosen my window in particular to do it there.

My bones felt so heavy , as if someone had tossed cement on my limbs. I figured that I was probably hung over. The memories of the night before were blurry - maybe not that blurry, I just tried to shut them out somehow.

I recall Edan dragging me home and forcing me to drink three glasses of water, which at that time had seemed like an incredible amount. In my general dislike of being told what to do, I had threatened to urinate over his clothes, because he coerced my bladder to explode. There are not many things I'm proud of, but judging by the look on his face it definitely had been worth it.

I opened my eyes and shockingly had to realize that I was not alone. I had assumed that Edan just had left, but there he was. Sitting in my armchair, a couple feet away. His head resting in his hand, his eyes shut. Judging by his deep breathing and relaxed features, he was sleeping.

There we go. Adalsteinn's training meant nothing. Edan was supposed to be on duty all around the hour, his sleep should be as light as a feather. He was expected to be on the verge of dipping into consciousness all the time, he had to be ready to protect and kill. But Edan was not on any edge to lash out. He was just looking like a simple boy who had fallen asleep after a night out.

His face was soft and his amber eyes were hidden behind his eyelids. For a moment I caught myself finding the plain boy attractive and I immediately had to shake my head. The only attractiveness there was, was his masculinity and I resented finding someone attractive just because they are male.

My natural response to this scenario would have been a bombing of pillows, but somehow I didn't bring myself to do it.

I looked at him more properly, his half opened mouth, messy brown hair, wearing the same clothes as yesterday. He could have just laid down beside me. It's not like he was being courteous to me. We had overstepped the princess knight realtionship many times. Actually he had when he had decided to wake her in the middle of night when Keeva had disappeared. He had overstepped the line of formality, and I was unsure why now that was irrelevant. That armchair looked mad uncomfortable.

It was Keeva in general that bound is together. Are we friends? No, it was more a companionship of fate. Keeva had betrayed both of us. I was being at the mercy of the royal council and Edan had lost his significant other. And that is why sleeping Edan, was being Edan and not Edan Duncan, and that was also why I didn't bombard him with pillows.

"Edan", I said loudly.

It took him a few seconds to be fully awake. "Yes", his voice was hoarse.

"Are we late to anything?", I asked him.

He looked at me sleepily and slowly moved up. "Not that I would know of, but I wanted to practice a bit, in case Captain Adalsteinn, makes the decision to train you alone again"

"No", I shook my head with determination. "I am not doing any physical exercise today. "You can question me a bit about our history, if you want"

I deeply hoped he would accept my suggestion. My body felt maltreated, as if it would carry an out of order sign, and I reckoned his did too. Probably less than mine, because he seemed to have went on similar adventures frequently with Keeva.

"Fine", he said to her. "No combat, no sword fighting, but you do actually have to attend a fitting, the faster you have that done, the less time will you spend being active"

"Is Callum back?", I wasn't going to give Callum what he wanted.

Edan spun around heading to leave, so I could get dressed. "No, it's all Colia's work. You know how excited she is about the ball"

I growled with frustration. "You do mean the time and place where the whole word will judge me? Yes I definitely can understand why Colia is excited about that"

"Come on Av, it's not that bad", he said to me encouraging, and somehow that infuriated me much more.

"It is", I insisted. "It is terrible and I don't want to go. I miss the days when I was able to sit in my room and just read or do other things and nobody would care"

"My deepest condolences", Edan stated sarcastically.

What was I thinking? He definitely had deserved a pillow to the face as a wake up call.

"So, can you know-it-all please elaborate to me how Colia finds joy in the humiliation of me?", I asked him.

He was fidgety, I clearly was wasting his time, but he didn't state that. He just nonchalantly leaned against the wall.

"It's not your public humiliation that she finds joy in. She loves organizing things, she loves sparkles and dresses. She loves seeing something she has constructed work smoothly", he explained.

"Don't we all love when things go our way?", I expressed. "I for one love when things go my way. In the last month nothing really went my way and I thoughtfully dislike that"

"What", he paused. "I was trying to say is that Colia sees organization of social gatherings as some kind of artwork. When she does attend the ball, she in way sees her painting come to life"

"Actually I heard that painters often only see the flaws in their paintings. Same must go for organizing things. Personally I would hate being confronted with all the things I did wrong", I threw in.

Edan took in a sharp breath, he thought I was acting annoying and unreasonable. I probably was acting annoying and unreasonable. Much rather would I wear the label annoying and unreasonable than meek and frail.

"Colia does little to no mistakes", he claimed. "She doesn't see coincidence interfering as a mistake. She easily can adapt. She loves doing those balls, she lives for it"

"What does Brynja have to say about that?", I asked, because I didn't see Brynja particularly as a party trooper.

"What should Brynja think about it?", he almost seemed confused.

"Maybe she hates it", I said. "Maybe she hates the ball and that Colia is dedicating her life to it. Wouldn't that have an effect on Colia?"

"Keeping their partner away from achieving their goals seems like something quite abusive to do. I don't reckon Brynja is abusive. I think she loves seeing her lover thrive. I for one would enjoy seeing my lover thrive", Edan replied.

"So they are dating?", I gathered, it was more of a statement than an actual question.

"I suppose", Edan said. "I never asked them, but it does seem like they are."

"Do you support them?", I asked him.

He raised an eyebrow defensively. "Because they are both girls?", he asked me sharply.

I shook my head. "I don't care about the fact that they are both girls. They just strike me as absolute polar opposites. How is something like that going to work out? Colia is sweet, nice and caring and Brynja, well Brynja is -"

"A raging bitch?", he helped. "Well to you she might seem like that. But as we all. Brynja is just a product of her circumstances. She is angry that Keeva is gone and that nobody is doing enough to find her"

"Being a product of circumstances? That's everyones excuse. Keeva fucked us all over. Especially you. Why does Brynja get a special badge for being hurt about the situation?"

Edan moved back into the armchair. "No, I never meant that she gets a free pass for being rude, neither do you get a free pass for being rude. Brynja might be hostile towards you, but she's never cruel. How come you judge a person so quickly, while you despise being judged by other people yourself"

"I do not judge her. But why like a person who never has said a kind word about me?", I told him.

"I'm not saying you have to love her, but you know maybe show basic interest into why she's so hurt about Keeva leaving", he suggested.

"I don't have to show interest, I know you are going to tell me now anyways", I sat up and leaned against the headboard.

"You are right", he said. "I am going to tell you. Not because I have the deep wish to annoy you, but because I feel like you should maybe look deeper into the relationship of people and Keeva. You are painting her and everyone who is afflicted with her as solely selfish and evil"

He waved my hand, signaling that he should go on and that there was no need for any dramatic pausing.

"Keeva and Brynja's friendship never has been equal. That's because they had, opposed to you and Colia, stayed in a princess maid relationship. Brynja is a lady in waiting, she's a servant to Keeva. She helps her dress, she helps her move from one place to the other, in a way she is her right hand.
Most of those ladies are predestined to take over that role. For example Colia. Her mother is noble and the Captain.
And it might be true, Brynja is also from an noble family, but she was never meant to take on that role when she was born. It was supposed to be the one of her younger sister.
You see. Brynja was born a boy.
The fact that she wasn't one, that she didn't feel like one, made her an outcast in her family.
They didn't shun her, that wouldn't have followed the etiquette, but she was pictured to be the back sheep of her family.
Born in the wrong body, rather quiet. Brynja hasn't always been this confident. When she first arrived she was a wallflower, now she is a bouquet of roses, with incredibly sharp thorns.
Keeva helped her grow. She decided against her little sister and for her. She gave her a save place to stay, she gave her support, she gave her glory and a status. The importance at court of Lady Brynja gave her a good reputation, here and at home.
For that Brynja is grateful and almost feels like she owes something to Keeva. They are not inseparable, but Brynja for sure has seen Keeva as a consistent rock in her life. Sure that woman is very strong, but she also has quite a dependency on Keeva.
If Colia weren't around, Brynja would have attacked at least half of the council by now"

Of course the information I received was new to me, but I felt like Edan was purposely guilt trapping me.

"Brynja was born at the border to the North", I said to him. "Doesn't really surprise me that her family is stubborn. She's of House Bergfalk right?"

"That's correct", he nodded. "People who almost live in the North are their own kind of breed anyways. The region of Berg. Beautiful by the way, absolutely stunning. The northern area is represented by the Bergfalks, the southern by the Berglunds, the western by the Bergmans and the eastern by the -"

"Bergströms", I cut him off. "As mentioned before, Master Eachann, has thought me history and politics."

"You know", he replied. "Sometimes it is really hard to have a conversation with you"

"I know, but you don't always have to talk like I am completely unaware of our world. So as we both know, the Bergfalks live right near the border, which means the family is quite lucky that none of their children has been abducted yet", I reckoned.

"Wilding tribes are so diverse. I don't completely blame them for having a wrath on us. We shun them up there, where it is cold and they barley have any resources, except the iron that they provide is with. I mean I don't support the Saelani tribe of course. Forsaking all I have and then devoting my life to some kind of mountain goddess? No thank you", he said.

"The bad thing is the forsaking part?", I asked him. "What about the babies you are going to kidnap so that you can keep your gene pool clean, because you are so small?"

"I mean that doesn't sound fortune either. There is this other one, where they cut their symbols into the arms of newborns. That sounds like fun"

I immediately shuddered. "That sounds barbaric. Almost as barbaric as Seelen Tellur, he is our biggest threat, right?"

I mostly had tried to sleep during the military classes. I understand nothing of warfare and wanted to keep it that way as long as I could.

"That's right", he replied. "I wish he could be a bit more like the tribe that smokes herb and paints their body with squashed strawberries"

"Painting your body in those temperatures doesn't really sound like the best idea", I said to him almost laughing.

"What?", he pretended to be upset. "It is the best idea! I mean for what else do you smoke herb? You don't feel yourself anymore, nothing is stopping from running around naked, singing songs, growing your hair out and braid it."

"Oh yeah", I said to him. "That definitely sounds like a marvelous idea, you ought to leave your current occupation behind and join them"

He grinned at me. "Obviously this is the end. I always thought it would end up with you sacking me"

"I thought about that", I admitted. "Repeatedly, but I figured out of pity you can stay and drive Captain Adalsteinn nuts"

He shook his head rapidly. "No, no, no. It is you, who drives Captain Adalsteinn nuts"

Before I could reply the door flew open. A verz agitated Lady Brynja had entered the room, disregarding all kinds of code of conduct. She looked at us, she rapidly was searching for a good explanation to why Edan was in my room, why we were stressed like this and not at each others throat.

"Both of you", she said. "Cut the flirting and move directly into the council hall, you don't have time to change"

As much as I wanted to correct her about her false assumption, I didn't because Edan had stayed quiet. This was obviously something of important matter.

With whatever we were wearing, rushed after Lady Brynja into the council hall. The faces of cross man greeted me. Captain Adalsteinn was looking at us, she was standing in the middle of the happening. She seemed like she wanted to lecture us, but surprisingly didn't say anything about me.

No, she had begun taking about my sister. "Attention please", she said gravely. "Keeva Doughlas" - I noticed the absence of titles and names - "Had been spotted in Melar. It seems as she has deliberately left court. Minutes ago there has been another massage received. She isn't in Melar anymore, she is currently located in Bellhaven, she has allegedly decided to join the circle of Imhotep, who is supposedly leader of a secret uprising against the crown. So far we are sure that our sources tell the truth"

She paused for a moment and pronounced "Keeva Doughlas is an enemy of this kingdom"

Her words were as sharp as a knife and I almost could feel my skin bleeding. I hated everything about this place, yet being a traitor to my own blood seemed like an unforgivable crime.

I turned around and glanced at Edan. When he caught me looking at him, he turned around expressionless and left the hall abruptly.

With his shoes sounding through the hallway, I was able to hear his heart shattering.