i just realized this will be exactly ten chapters and that makes me happy

The world as Dan knew it dissolved into hell the moment he heard Phillip cough.

It had happened one day after he and Phil had kissed. Dan remembered it like a book he had read over and over, and knew it would be that way for the rest of his life.

He had gotten home at midnight, as per usual. His siblings had all been asleep, even Agnes. Dan had been too tired to do anything more than collapse on the pile of blankets he called a bed, eyes already slipping closed when the horrible hacking began to resound around the small room all the boys shared.

Once. Twice. Three times.

Loud enough for Timothy to open his eyes. (Though Dan suspected he had been out all night with Jason and was just pretending to be asleep anyways.)

The other two boys were still asleep, so Dan tried to keep the noise to a minimum as he made his way over to his little brother. Phillip looked up at him guiltily, covering his mouth with his elbow to mask some of the noise. It was like trying to walk through the rain with only half a jacket.

"Are you alright?" Dan asked his brother, patting him on the back. He was wary of getting whatever Phillip was coming down with, of course, but if it was anything too deadly, odds were it was in everyone's systems already.

He shook his head, cheeks filling with air as he attempted to hold back another fit. "I haven't been feeling well lately," he admitted. "I'm dizzy. My head hurts really bad."

Dan swore under his breath and grabbed his own blanket. He folded it until it became a crude sort of pillow and gently lifted his brother's head, brushing Phillip's matted brown hair out of his eyes. "Just rest, Phillip, okay? Rest and get better. I'll go get you some water."

He did his best not to sprint out of the room. In the hallway, Agnes waited for him. "What's wrong?" She asked, hugging herself as a feeble protection from the cold.

Dan rubbed a hand over his eyes, feeling impossibly tired. The day had been long, and all he had been dreaming about was coming home to sleep. He knew that now he would be up all night, whether because he was taking care of his brother or fretting to the point of insomnia.

"Phillip is sick," he whispered, well aware that it was useless at this point. Eight wide eyes watched from the shadows. "He...well, it's kind of like Margery. The girl who used to live close by. It's got me worried, Agnes."

Margery had been a small, excitable girl from a relatively well-to-do-family. She had been sixteen, just a week away from getting married when the fever started. Margery had fallen into a deep sleep, one no one could seem to wake her from. Only two weeks after she had fallen ill the burial took place.

Even two years later there was still mystery surrounding her death. How had she taken ill? Was it a witch's curse? The devil himself? A punishment from God?

No one could quite agree, but the whole village knew one thing: her death was only the first of many.

Since then, there had been a house-turned-hospital filled just with people who experienced symptoms similar to Margery's. Fever, chills, headaches. Coughing and rashes. Delirium. Some survived the disease, but a majority ended up on their way to the graveyard.

If there was anything Dan knew, it was that a house full of sick people wasn't a place for one to get better. It was a place someone sent you to die.

Agnes took a step closer to him, radiating hostility. "You don't think we know he's dying? The coughing started a week ago, maybe two. If you had been home instead of gallivanting with the royal family you would know!"

"Two...Two weeks and you haven't done anything? For God's sake, Agnes, we could all be dead by now with that stupidity!"

"What are we supposed to do? Send he and Alice off to die?" She jabbed her finger into his chest. "That's not how a family works, Daniel! We stick together, we die together."

"Then you'll understand why I've been at the palace, trying to make sure that doesn't happen!" His voice dropped to a whimper as he thought of what the coming weeks could bring. "Dammit, Ag. We need more money. I wish we could pay for treatments, but...We just need more money."

Dan's knees felt weak; he thought he would collapse right there but willed himself to remain upright. He was the head of the household. He had to be strong, even when he only wanted to curl into a ball and cry.

He stormed outside, grabbing the bucket they used to collect rainwater from the garden. It had a little bit of dirt in the bottom, but was generally cleaner than anything they could get from the well or river.

Dan went back in and kneeled by Phillip, gently pressing the lip of the bucket against his mouth. "Drink," he urged, letting a few drops slide out.

His brother opened his mouth weakly, just enough for a few sips to go down his throat before another coughing fit racked his body. Water and spittle sprayed against Dan's shirt, but he ignored it. "Try again," he urged.

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"Phillip, your brother is here to see you."

The nun gave Dan a sympathetic look as she propped Phillip's head up using more pillows. His brother groaned, shaking his head. As if it were a signal, the nurse lifted a small bucket. Phillip threw up into it with a small whimper.

His brother had always been a slight child, skinny and far shorter than the rest of the family, but now he was barely recognizable from a skeleton. His cheekbones were more prominent than ever, sticking out from his skin like bread from soup. His skin had lost its smooth tan and had faded to a yellow like that of a weed flower.

"How's Alice?" Phillip whispered through parched lips. Dan lifted the small pitcher of water he had brought with him and helped his brother take a sip. His brother couldn't even muster up a grateful smile, which broke Dan's heart.

The world had stolen so much from him already. His father, mother. His childhood. His ability to laugh and think positively, those all came and went so long ago. Even worse than taking things Dan did love was taking things he could've-Phil's smile. The sparkles in his sibling's eyes when they learned something new. The pride of marrying a girl and raising his own family. The feeling of falling in love with his wife. The idea that there will be a tomorrow, and tomorrow is another day to fix whatever mess you're in.

To Dan, it would just be another nail on the bed that life had provided him. But to his brother, this would be the last thing. The last and final and worst thing, the sword that would take him down. And the fact that Dan could do nothing, absolutely zero, to protect him from this was tearing him apart.

So instead, he lied to sharpen the blade. "She's alright, Phillip." Better than you are, really. "I've no doubt she'll be up and moving soon-we've been giving her extra food to keep up her strength." The only food in the house, the bare minimum, crumbs even the rats wouldn't eat went to her. And yet, each day Alice began to look more and more like a corpse. "I think she'll be just fine. And you will, too, if you rest."

Phillip was not going to be fine.

As his brother slipped into a deep sleep, Dan knew it would be useless to visit any more. Phillip was never opening his eyes again.

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Dan looked in every way like someone who was asleep. His breath was even, his eyes were close. Every so often he snored a little. In reality, he was more awake than he had ever been. It was as though someone had pushed him into a puddle. One that was in the middle of the road while a horse was careening towards him.

He would not miss a thing tonight.

Which was why, by the time the stars were at their brightest, he opened his eyes the second Luke whispered his name from across the room.

Dan sat up, pretending to stretch before making his way over to his brother. "Yes?" He whispered quietly, sitting beside him.

"I think I heard someone. In the girls' room, I mean."

"Don't worry." Dan mused Luke's hair with a calm smile, trying not to show just how jittery he was feeling. "I'll go check it out. You stay here, yeah?"

Doing his best not to step on anyone's head, feet, or hands in the dark (something Dan had become exceptionally skilled at through the years), he walked down the short hallway. There, a figure stood, holding a much smaller girl.

Phil set Alice down gently and flew into Dan's arms. "I'm so sorry," he breathed, the loudest either of them would be able to talk until they met again at the palace. "I know how much you loved him, Dan. I just-I wish I could've saved him."

"It's okay," Dan leaned his forehead against Phil's, feeling the prince's breath tickle his cheek. "I mean, not that he died. I don't think it'll ever be okay, in my mind at least, but it's not your fault. And you're going to help Alice. That's all I care about right now."

Phil nodded, reluctantly pulling away. "I have a priest coming in in the morning to bless her. And the castle's doctor will check her over; I'll just say she's a servant girl who helps you. We have so many spare rooms that she could stay in, too. Maybe she could be Daniella's official maid. And I-"

"Phil." Dan shook his head, unable to push away a smile at the prince's nervousness. "It'll be alright. No one would dare question you."

"You make me sound like my father when you say that."

"Your father is an important man. So are you." Dan could see that Phil was upset; he would never go into exact details as to why he despised his father so, but Dan knew it went deeper than familial distrust. "But that is where the similarities stop. He would never do this for anyone, much less someone like me."

"I find that hard to believe. If you care enough about someone, you would do anything for them. Even if it meant losing some skin yourself."

Dan glanced over at Alice, glad to find her fast asleep. It would be hard to explain to her what was happening, and nearly impossible to get her to keep her mouth shut about it all.

"And I do," Phil coughed into his fist. Not in a sick way, though it did make Dan's heart race at first. "Care about you, I mean."

Even through the dark, Dan knew the prince was blushing.

"Phil-"

"I'm sorry." He waved Dan away, "This is not the time nor place for that conversation. It's too dangerous. It's just...seeing how much death has surrounded you lately has made me fear for your safety. I-I don't want to lose you, Dan."

Phil wrapped his arms around Dan, holding him like the world would fall apart if he pulled away.

But he did, and the only thing that broke was Dan's heart, just a little when he looked up into those beautiful blue eyes that could never be his.

Dan waved a silent goodbye and watched the prince fade into the night.  

don't worry-sharpening a blade is actually a nice thing to do when someone is about to get stabbed with it