"This is Burger King, how may I help you?"

"Hey, where the hell did you go last night?"

"Where the hell did I go? You're the one that hung up on me! I just went home!"

"Yesterday didn't count, okay?"

"Count for what?"

"You actual retard!"

"What?!"

"Count for the thirteen days you have to guess my identity!"

"Oh. Well, that's nice I guess."

"I'm not Hitler, okay?"

"Really? You seem to have a very close resemblance."

"I will make sure to ki-"

"Are you spanish?"

"What?"

"Or maybe mexican. . ."

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused."

"You little nugget."

"Are you whexican?"

"What the frick frack, snick snack, Dorothy's shoes, click clack, are you talking about?"

"You know, when you're parents are from Mexico but they're actually from fancy schmancy 'European descent' so your technically white. You get it? History class? Because the Spanish sailed to Central and South America?"

"Yes, I get it. You need to explain the word though."

"Whexican? White plus mexican. Or maybe it's spexican or manish, like spanish plus mexican."

"I'm going to kill myself now. Farewell."

"Wait, I still have to guess your identity so I can slowly kill you!"

"Welcome to your tape."

"Are you serious?"

"No, I'm a wheat thin."

"Your sarcasm is so strong I can taste it."

"I'm going to go drink some bleach, if you can't guess who I am in the next two minutes then you only have twelve days left."

"Are you that weird girl that sits in the back of my math class staring at Jeremy Starmer's head?"

"Your math class is filled with idiots, potential drug lords, and future drop-outs, so no."

"Are you that girl in my gym class that will be a school shooter in 2020?"

"One two three, all the kids bullied me. Now they're not so cool cause I shot up the school, yeah."

"You are?!"

"Of course, and you wanna know why?"

"Why are you going to shoot up the school? I can report you to the police!"

"Brendan? Are you working?"

"Yes ma'am, this person just doesn't know what to order."

"Okay, I'll leave you to it."

". . ."

"You can stop snickering now."

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Can you not?"

"Just so you know I'm a trashCAN not a trashCAN'T."

"You're going to be a prisoner when I report your murderous intentions to the officials."

"I placed second in Kahoot, so now I'm just going to Kashoot the school. Casual."

"What the f-"

"My teacher also took away my fidget spinner, so I spun my revolver instead."

"That's it, I'm going to call 911."

"You are an idiot, I was joking."

"God dammit."

"Seriously though, are you talking about Emma Klein? Let's be honest, she probably will turn this school into a shooting range."

"Great, just great."

"Now, I have a bleach bottle with my name on it, so now you only have twelve reasons why."

"WOULD YOU STOP MAKING THIRTEEN REASONS WHY REFERENCES?"