"This is Burger King, how may I help you?"

"Hi, can I have one Whopper Sandwich, a Classic Grilled Dog, one Garden Side Salad, a large Sprite along with a large cup of decaf coffee. Oh, can you throw in a large order of french fries and onion rings and one of your Dutch Apple Pies? Thanks."

"Of course ma'am. Would you like Type 2 Diabetes along with your order as well?"

"You know what? Make that TWO Garden Side Salads."

"Of course, because you're definitely not adding more calories to your meal."

"Ever heard of customer service, because let's just say you're lacking in that department."

"Your feedback is deeply appreciated. We'll make sure to not give crap."

"How are you still keeping ahold of your job?"

"Are you getting ahold of your doctor? I believe he needs to diagnose you with an eating disorder."

"Being nice isn't that hard."

"And being healthy is?"

"Just place the order and deliver it to 639 Roseville Parkway."

"Okay, your order is placed. We are not responsible for any heart attacks, gain of weight, and obesity. Thank you for eating at Burger King."

"Why you little-"

". . ."

"I'm never ordering from this douche again."