Dedication goes out to music501 and my mom, for somehow getting me to follow this crazy dream and finally complete my first book 😊

Highest rank on the hot list over the last few weeks - #290 in Chick Lit

I hope you all enjoy the final chapter ❤️

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© 2017 Shay Spencer. All rights reserved.

The Buddies Rule

Chapter 30

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When I had left for college almost three years ago, I had seen a new life on the horizon. Though I wasn't very far from home, I knew that the distance between my family and I would be needed if I was ever going to learn new things and grow up a bit.

I saw this new life as an adventure, and having Chase by my side only made things more exciting. I knew our new environment, the school and our apartment, may help me adjust to the idea of actually being with him for real. I had always known that I wanted a life with Chase, but then, it was a reality.

One of the things I hadn't expected, was the heartbreak that followed when our old adventures came to an end.

Thinking back on things, I had been hesitant to take each chance I had taken so far; Chase had been the first, college had been the second, and Alan and Lewis had followed there after. Despite this, having these people in my life had been a few of the best decisions I'd made so far. Chase, Alan and Lewis had their flaws like anyone else, but they've helped to shape me into the person I am today.

I'd never be ready to lose any one of them. Even if our friendships seem to be nearing their end, I'll never want to simply lose them forever. That thought scared me more than anything else.

But being scared is just another part of growing up.

"You've been going through a lot lately," my dad summed up. He glanced back over to me, a worried look covering his face when he did. He could see the few tears still sliding down my cheeks. I was more upset now than I had ever been.

"Tell me about it," I laughed halfheartedly. "Lewis is leaving tonight, and all I've been thinking about is how Chase gave me an ultimatum."

My father's reaction when I had told him about all that had gone on this last semester had been simple. He hadn't said much, and him not voicing his opinions readily, was quite odd. He was taking his time with me today, and I really did appreciate it.

My dad merely smiled, "Lewis is a good kid, he can handle himself out in LA. He never wanted anyone to worry about him. So don't."

"I'm still going to." I repeated gruffly, crossing my arms over my chest. "I'm not read for him to go."

"You kind of need to be, kiddo," he laughed. "Lewis is leaving whether you're ready for it not. And Chase will leave too if you don't watch it."

Out of all the people in my life, my dad and Chase knew me best. They were there to bring me back when I got so caught up in the moment, and right now, I was had been so caught up in the many dramas of my life, that I could barely focus on the important matters at hand.

Not only did Chase deserve a final answer, but Lewis was leaving for good in a few hours. My dad was right, I needed to work all of this out right now, or I would lose the both of them.

"I just feel like I let everything get so out of control," I whispered. Reaching up, I wiped a few tears off my cheeks. I felt like a mess, and luckily enough for me, my dad hadn't commented on it yet. He and Lewis were very similar in the way that neither of the two had any sense of what to say at times like this.

"I think that under the circumstances, things were bound to get out of control," he corrected. He let his arm hang around my shoulders before pulling me into a side hug. "You wanted to get caught up in your feelings. You thought it would help you make a decision."

"And that was the worst thing I could have done," I groaned.

"I think you did what you thought was right," he chuckled back at me. "I'm sure that it helped you narrow things down a bit. At least, that's how it sounded when Lewis filled us in on the whole, Zac, Alan, Chase debacle."

I cringed just thinking about it. Zac had almost entirely slipped my mind. I hadn't really given him much thought since the breakup.

"Zac told me when we broke up that Alan and Chase weren't ready for me, like we wouldn't even have a shot at making it," I remembered. That day I had been so confused as to what he had meant, but as time had gone on, I realized just what Zac was referring to.

Alan had ended up breaking my heart without even intending to, and I was far too scared to even try anything with Chase. I wasn't ready for either Chase or Alan, and Alan hadn't been ready for me either. I guess Chase was the outlier. He had made his feelings for me crystal clear this whole time.

"Forget what Zac thinks," my father said, leaning back against the headstone. "What do you think? Are you ready for a relationship with either of these guys?"

I bit into my lip nervously, averting my eyes from my dad's constant gaze, "I don't know." He sat quietly as he let me think things over, knowing that deep down, I knew the answer already.

Alan had taken himself out of the situation entirely, and at this point, I was fairly certain that we wouldn't ever be friends again after what had gone on. But Chase, he was another story. He had stayed, he had been there through everything, even if we hadn't spent much time together as of late. Chase was still my best friend, only now, we both knew just how badly we wanted to be with one another.

"I just don't want to throw away my friendship with Chase over some half thought out feelings," I said. I pulled my knees up to my chest once again, letting my eyes focus in on a bouquet of flowers on a nearby grave.

"The way I see it," he started, pulling his arm back from around my shoulders. "You can either be friends with someone, or you can be in love with them. There's no two ways about it."

"But what it we break up?" I tried once more. "What if after all this is said and done, we lose each other."

"You're losing him right now, kid," my dad sighed. "Trust me when I say this; I know just how much you and Chase care about each other. I know what the both of you want out of your little relationship you've got going. You don't have a chance in hell of losing him if you take this one shot that you've got."

I could feel a smile taking over my face with his words. He was right, at this point, I had already lost what I had held onto for so long with Chase. There was nothing to lose if we did finally test the waters, and inevitably, we'd both be happier because of it.

I let myself take a moment to calm down as I pulled my phone out of my pocket. Upon unlocking it, I could feel the shock coursing through my body. "We've been out here for almost four hours." I mumbled, cringing at myself for taking this long to figure things out.

"Then get home," he chuckled, motioning over to the parking lot. "The boy's patient, Bree, but not this patient."

"Thanks dad," I smiled.

# # #

Walking up the stairs for the second time in twenty four hours was nerve wracking to say the least. I had run over ever word I was planning to say about a million times on the walk back to the apartment, and I was positive I was still going to screw it up somehow. In the moment, I would be tongue-tied, and I wouldn't have a clue of what to say.

That's where Chase would come in. He could read my mind, even when my thoughts were as muddled together as they were right now.

I gently opened the door and peered inside. The lights were still off, and the only thing illuminating the room, was the sun that was slipping in through the blinds. I frowned as I closed the door behind me. Chase had cleared his things off the table. He'd left the living room in such a hurry after our talk last night, and if he'd come out to pick up his things, he had to have known that I hadn't been here when he had gotten up.

"Chase?" I called, kicking my shoes off near the door. I pursed my lips together nervously as I took small steps towards the back hallway. "I'm sorry I left. I couldn't sleep, and I needed to clear my head."

I took a deep breath, stopping just outside his still closed door. Leaning back against the wall, I waited silently for some kind of response.

"I should have stayed to talk things out with you, I know. It was stupid, and inconsiderate, and I promise it will never happen again." I insisted, turning to face his door. "But I have your answer? Just please come out so we can talk."

I sighed, not hearing any movement from his side of the door. I rolled my eyes and grabbed onto his doorknob, jiggling it a bit to test if it was locked. Surprisingly, the door slipped open without much of a fuss.

I narrowed my eyes in an attempt to see in his darkened room. Flicking on the light, I saw he wasn't in here at all.

"Chase?" I laughed angrily. I turned on my heel and stormed off to the back of the hallway, pushing open the bathroom door when I got there. The shower curtain was pulled back, and even from out in the hallway, it was clear he wasn't in there.

"This isn't funny, anymore," I huffed. Walking back down the hall, I glanced into his room a second time. My heart nearly plummeted to my stomach as I finally took notice of all the things that were missing.

His pillows had been stripped of their cases, and the blanket I had gotten him for Christmas a few years back was missing from the end of his bed. His closet door was hanging open, and sadly enough, it was nearly empty. All that was left inside were a few boxes on the top shelf, and his winter jacket from the year we had gone skiing.

Even his suitcase was gone.

I shook my head and stumbled out of his room, somehow ending up in my own. I squeezed my eyes shut to force back the tears I knew were bound to fall. I had barely been gone a few hours. Surely that couldn't have been enough to make him move out.

Falling back onto my bed, I could hear a small crunching sound as my head hit my pillow. I reached back before pulling out a crumbled up note from under my head. As I unfolded it, the only hope I had left was that he had merely gone back to his dad's house for the weekend.

Bree,

It's hard to admit, knowing how close we've always been, but I miss you; and I'm not talking about the way someone misses a family member who's halfway across the country. I miss the way we used to be; I miss the way your eyes lit up when you saw me, I miss the way you'd cuddle up next to me while we'd watch a movie, I even miss the way you'd constantly pester me to call my dad.

Things have changed, I can't deny that, and neither can you. Whether these changes were bumps in the road we'd always ignored, or if we suddenly came upon a fork in the road, we'll never know. But we can't keep pretending that we're the same people we were back in kindergarten.

We've grown up, and sadly, I think we've grown apart.

The thing I hate the most is how we've been pulled in opposite directions. I'll always blame your constant suitors for taking you away from me, but we both know it's my fault for never saying those three words when you needed to hear them the most.

I love you, Bree Hendly, and I can't ever see myself not loving you. I hope one day we'll be able to make us work, but for us to even get a shot, I need to make sure that we're both ready to be with one another.

When I found out that you had left this morning, it gave me my answer.

I know how much you want to be with me, and I know how much I want to be with you, but right now, we've been stuck in limbo for too long to escape with a single admission of our love. It may have worked a long time ago, but we're different people now, and I'm not so sure I know you as well as I did in the past.

I hate to be the first one to say it, but I'm suffocating. The distance between us is overwhelming, and it's dragging me under. I don't know how much more I can take. So I'm doing the only thing we've never been able to do.

I'm saying goodbye, and though the physical distance between us may increase, I'm hoping our hearts and minds will be closer than ever before. There may be a time in the future when we can come together, and be better than ever before; but for now, all I can say is, I'll miss you, Bree, and I don't think I'll ever stop.

I sucked in a deep breathe as I let his note slip from my fingers, watching as it slowly fell to the floor beside me.

"Chase," I whimpered. I hugged myself, trying to slow my breathing as I pulled and tugged against the loose jacket wrapped around my body, a few cries escaped my lips when I did.

He left. He left for good, and I had no clue where he had gone.

"Why did you leave." I all but whispered, allowing myself to slide down onto the ground. The sound of my knees hitting the floor echoed through the hauntingly empty apartment as the tears rushed down my face.

I could feel myself losing it, but I didn't care. I thought that Chase and I could survive anything, but I was wrong. I'd waited too long, and now, it was all my fault.

"Bree?" Lewis called from the living room. I sniffled before rubbing the tears off my face.

"Lewis," I whined, waving him back as he walked into the room. Looking up at him, I could see the worry written across his face. "What?"

Lewis merely shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest. "Chase left me a message," was all he said. He took a few more steps forward before holding out his hand to me, offering to help me up off the ground.

"He's, he's gone." I stuttered. "He just left."

Lewis nodded, pulling me up without saying another word. I barely got the chance to hug him before breaking down right in front of him.

I could feel myself slipping further and further into oblivion as Lewis wrapped his arms around me, whispering something about not wanting to leave me at a time like this.

"He's gone," I whispered over and over again. "He left without saying goodbye." 

But as I stood there, letting my feelings of hatred and heartbreak take me over, all I could hear were the final words of Chase's letting playing over in my head.

Don't let the distance take you under, too. It's a slow and cowardly way to go.

So I knew, that even if this pain never ceased, I had to find a way to move on from it. Or the distance would take me down along with him.

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I have been waiting to write this chapter since the book started! I'm so sad to see The Buddies Rule end though!

How did everyone like it? Comment with your final thoughts!

But don't worry about the end so soon!The Distance Rule is here! You guys can add it to your libraries now, and get a sneak peek at what's to come!

The first few chapters will be posted on July 17th!

Thanks guys!