"So you purposely didn't look for me?" Tanong ko kay Iouis at saka siya hinarap. Nahihirapan ako sa posisyon namin dahil nakaupo ako sa mga hita niya. Pwede namang tabihan ko siya ngunit pilit akong pinapabalik sa kandungan niya.

"Yes..." he bent his elbows and placed his hands behind his head. Sinandal niya ang ulo sa sun lounger at saka tumingala sa kalangitan. "If I did so earlier, I would've found you in a snap... and we'd be married by now."

Napalunok ako dahil sa narinig. I can't even say that we're "okay" now, yet here he is, just casually dropping some marriage hints as if I didn't leave him.

Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay nang makita ang reaksyon ko. "No one found you because no one looked for you. Or at least, you forced them to not look for you... or you lied so—" bigla siyang natigil sabay iwas ng tingin.

"It's alright," I said reassuringly. Tama naman kasi ang sinabi niya. He didn't find me because he didn't look for me. Sina Papa naman, pinilit ko ngang 'wag akong hanapin. Ang mga kaibigan ko naman ay walang alam. They didn't know I ran away from Iouis. I lied to them and made it look like I left for work.

Umayos ako ng upo at saka sinandal ang likod sa dibdib niya. I called Papa and explained what happened. There's no point in lying because they'll still eventually find out.

I wanted to bring Iouis to our place but he'll... find out... I mean, it's not like I have no plans on telling him about Nash. I will tell him. But not now. Not tonight. Baka mabigla siya.

So here we are... in his luxurious villa overlooking the Grecian seas. Nasa pool area kami at nagpapahangin habang pinagmamasdan ang kalangitan.

The sky is unusually bright tonight and the wind is extra chilly. Buti na lang at may kayakap ako!

"I told myself that I'll wait for a year... that maybe you need some time," panimula niya kaya napatingin ulit ako sa kaniya. "But, damn... I just can't wait that long so... here we are!" Nagngiting-aso pa siya pero napailing na lang din sa sarili.

Imbes na sumagot ay niyakap ko na lang siya. We stayed in that position until I heard a light snore. Maingat kong inalis ang mga braso niya sa akin para matitigan siya nang maayos.

Nakatulog na pala siya at mukhang napakahimbing ng tulog niya. I brushed his hair with my hand before cupping both of his cheeks. Makinis ang balat niya at halatang inaalagaan niya ang sarili. Gusto kong paulanan ng halik ang kaniyang mukha ngunit baka magising ko siya.

I gazed at him instead. Hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala sa mga nangyari. I went out to have a fancy dinner but ended up with Iouis. And surprisingly, despite the fast pace of how things are unfolding, I am not overwhelmed.

Yes, I'm astounded to find myself here... with him... but I'm not feeling any of that overwhelming rush I usually get when I think that things are moving too fast.

Hinagod ko muli ang kaniyang pisngi gamit ang hinlalaki. My son's features are still not that defined but I am sure that he got most of them from Iouis. Mula sa kulay ng mga mata hanggang sa tangos ng ilong ay kapareho ng kay Iouis at Riri.

I planned on telling Iouis but I didn't expect to meet him this instant. Hindi pa ako nakapag-isip o nakapagplano man lang. I was hoping to think through everything before I tell him.

Pero... paano? I feel like not telling him while he's here is a huge mistake. Nandito na siya pero pinipili ko pa ring itago...

"Prepare yourself and think about it for a few days... but don't prolong it. It's about time, Cami," si Ate Alyvia habang karga-karga si Nash, pinapatulog ito.

I sighed and stood up, then took him from Ate Alyvia. From the moment I first saw him until now—and every time I see him—I get this warm and unexplainable rush in my chest. It feels so good and heartwarming. Like my heart is tugged by some invisible strings.

"You wanna meet your Dad, huh? Do you?" His eyes widened as I spoke, as if recognizing my voice. "Ako ang nagpakahirap pero siya pa rin ang kamukha mo..." dagdag ko. Ang for some reason, it made him smile.

Napakagat ako ng labi, naiiyak sa hindi malamang dahilan. Moments like this are so precious... and I can't just rob Iouis these opportunities. I mean, I'm still not sure how he'll react. Yes, he said he still wants me after all... but having a child... is different.

"After everything you've been through, I think you both deserve to be together, Cami. Ikaw na lang ang hinihintay niya. Give yourselves a chance. And really make it work this time." Napatingin ako kay Ate Bree na kapapasok lang ng nursery.

Nginitian niya ako at saka niyakap. Her head is on my shoulder while she's playing with my son's fingers. Sobrang liit ng mga iyon at nakakagigil.

The comfortable silence in the room was only interrupted when my phone rang. At dahil karga-karga ko si Nash ay si Ate Bree ang kumuha niyon mula sa bulsa ko. Tinanggap niya ang tawag at nilagay sa tainga ko ang phone.

"Are you free for dinner? Let's go on a date!" Masiglang pag-aaya ni Iouis.

Ako man ang kinakausap niya ngunit tatlo kami ang nakangiti. Lumapit din kasi si Ate Alyvia para makichimis. Hindi naman naka-loudspeaker ang tawag ngunit dahil si Ate Bree ang humahawak ng phone, rinig pa rin nila.

My sisters helped me prepare. And just like all the other days Iouis asked me out, mas excited pa sila kaysa sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang kailan mananatili rito si Iouis. Ang alam ko lang talaga ay nagbabakasyon siya dahil katatapos niya lang ng isang importanteng kaso.

"I want to ask for a niece but... maybe next time. Ayusin niyo muna ang relasyon niya," ani Ate Alyvia sabay halik sa pisngi ko.

I rolled my eyes at her, which made Ate Bree laugh. "What if kayo naman? Ako ang bunso pero ako pa ang nauna!"

Pinagmasdan ko muli ang sarili sa salamin. I'm wearing a simple halter dress and a pair of sandals. The deep-v neckline accentuated my breasts. They feel heavier now and I think I grew a cup bigger. Although I used to not feel conscious about them, I am now! Feeling ko ay sinasadya ko talagang ipakita!

"Yuwi, hey!" I tapped Iouis' shoulder, making him turn to me.

Nang nilingon niya ako ay mabilis na nanlaki ang kaniyang mga mata. Napaubo-ubo siya at sandaling nag-iwas ng tingin habang namumula.

"What?" Natatawa kong tanong. I think I know what's making him blush.

He shook his head. "Nothing..."

Hindi pa rin siya makatingin nang diresto sa akin. Imbes na titigan ako ay sa gilid ng mukha ko nakapokus ang kaniyang mga mata.

I pinched his cheeks and showered his face with kisses. Natawa naman siya sa ginawa ko at iginiya na ako papunta sa table namin.

He booked us a dinner by the shore. But instead of the usual seafood platter, we were served with Filipino dishes. And not just any Filipino dishes! 'Yong mga paborito ko talaga!

Unlike the one Papa and my sisters booked for me last time, this one is more private. Kami lang talaga ni Iouis ang naririto at ang table lang talaga namin ang nasa dalampasigan.

After eating, we decided to take a walk. Nang mapagod sa kalalakad ay umupo kami sa ilalim ng malaking puno at doon sumandal.

Nakasandal ako kay Iouis habang pinagmamasdan ang karagatan at ang mga alon nito. His hand was grazing the skin on my thigh, making me giddy and ticklish.

"What are we, Iouis?" I asked. Hindi ko alam kung bakit 'yon ang tinanong ko pero 'yon lang talaga ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

It's not like I'm rushing or anything. I am simply curious.

"What do you want us to be?" He turned to me with a small yet comforting smile. Umayos ako sa pagkakaupo para mayakap ko siya. "We can talk about this when you're ready."

Tumango ako at lalong hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa kaniya. Next thing I know, the hug turned into fiery kisses. Ang alam ko ay hinahalik-halikan ko lang naman ang leeg niya pero ngayon ay nag-aalab na ang apoy.

His hands cupped my butt cheeks while slightly pressing myself onto him even more. Napadaing ako nang maramdaman ang kaniyang labi sa aking leeg. It's ticklish and electrifying and intoxicating at the same time. Hindi ko alam kung saan ibabaling ang atensyon ko.

I want to push him away because... damn! We're in a public place! We have reputations to protect! And hello? Delicadeza na lang!

But I don't think he's aware that we're still at the shore. That although we're in a private restaurant, that doesn't mean that no one's around!

Or maybe he doesn't care.

"Damn..." he breathed heavily on my ear. Katulad ko ay habol-habol niya rin ang hininga. "I am Cara Marcella-starved!"

I stood up and held out a hand. He frowned at me as if he still didn't want to get up. Pinanlakihan ko siya ng mga mata kaya mabilis naman siyang tumayo.

Gusto ko rin namang umupo roon at mag-chill-chill ngunit baka ano pa ang mangyari. Mabuti sana kung hindi malikot ang mga kamay niya!

"Let's go to my place?"

Before I could even answer, my phone rang. I excused myself from Iouis and answered Ate Bree's call.

I know that they want me to spend time with Iouis. Which is also why I know that whatever reason they have to call me is serious and important.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Si Iouis. Nag-aalala ang kaniyang tono at mukhang nabasa agad ang expresyon ko.

I want to spend more time with Iouis but I don't think I can. Nash can't sleep and won't stop crying. Silang tatlo na nina Papa ang nagpapakalma sa kaniya ngunit hindi pa rin tumitigil sa pag-iyak. He's also refusing his milk but also doesn't want to sleep. Anila na baka ako raw ang hinahanap.

"I have to leave... it's important." I bit my lips, feeling regretful that we have to cut our date short.

I know Iouis. He's gonna say it's okay and smile as if he's unaffected. Hindi niya ako matatanggihan.

But right now, I can see it. He's smiling and nodding but I can read through him. He's not saying it but deep down, I know that he's thinking about how I'm not choosing him again. That he is only my priority when there is nothing else. But when something comes up, he's no longer on top of my list.

I can see it now.

"Do you wanna go with me?"

His eyes literally lit up when I spoke. Mabilis siyang tumango at parang batang excited na pumunta ng playground. "Is it okay? Where are we going? Is it urgent?"

I tapped his head and smiled. Kinakabahan ako dahil hindi ito ang plano ko. In fact, wala pa akong plano kung paano ko sasabihin sa kaniya na may anak kami!

I want it organized and well-thought of. Like maybe ask him out for lunch or dinner... then tell him... or invite him to our house and tell him there. Or I don't know! Wala pa nga akong plano!

But maybe this is how it's supposed to be. Maybe I don't need to plan because I'm just prolonging it. Maybe I just have to... wing it!

"Come on." I held his hand and urged him to walk faster.

I guess... I don't have to leave him now... because he's willing to go with me wherever I want. He's willing. Ako na lang talaga ang nag-aalinlangan.

When we arrived at our house, it was Ate Alyvia who greeted us. Nagulat pa ito nang makitang kasama ko si Iouis. I forgot to tell them that I'm coming home with Iouis.

We ascended the staircase and stood outside the nursery. Napahawak ako sa dibdib dahil sa kaba. Nag-aalala akong tinitigan ni Iouis ngunit nginitian ko siya.

I caressed his cheeks before hugging him. I feel like he's confused and weirded out. Wala siyang kaalam-alam kung ano ang dahilan kung bakit ko siya dinala rito. I also told him that I had to leave but I'm sure that he now knows that the reason wasn't urgent enough.

Alam kong curious na curious na rin siya ngunit mas piniling maghintay kaysa sa magtanong.

"Iouis..." I called. Pilit kong pinapakalma ang sarili ngunit mukhang nahahalata pa rin 'yon ni Iouis.

"Yes, Cara mia?" He tilted his head and gave me an adoring look.

I heaved a deep breath and held the doorknob. In just a few seconds now, my secret will be known. And I can only hope for the best. For a positive reaction. Kasi kung hindi... baka hindi ko kakayanin.

"I kept something from you and—" natigil ako dahil sa kaba at sandaling napapikit. Iouis held my shoulders like a coach to his players. "Uhm... I want to use my words but I can't. So I'll show you instead."

He nodded and smiled, like it's his way of assuring me.

"And Iouis?" I called again. "I'll accept it... whatever reaction you have, I'll accept it."

And without over-analyzing all the possible reactions Iouis might have, I turned the doorknob and opened the door to the nursery room.

We were greeted by a dimly-lit room with light-blue walls... and a crying Nash on Papa's arms.

"Cami!" Papa's eyes widened when he saw the man behind me. "Iouis!"

I turned to Iouis and saw him rooted at the spot. He's still at the doorway while his eyes wandered around the room.

I took Nash from Papa who then left silently. Nang maisara ni Papa ang pinto ay kaming dalawa ni Iouis ang naiwan sa loob.

I held our son—who magically calmed down—while Iouis is still rooted in his spot.

Kahit puno ng kaba ang dibdib at parang mahihimatay na dahil sa mga nararamdaman, tinipon ko ang lakas at saka lumapit kay Iouis.

It was only when I neared him that I saw tears trickling down his cheeks. Nasa akin pa rin ang tingin niya ngunit patuloy ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya. It's like he's too vulnerable to move his eyes down... to my arms...

"I... we..." napapikit ako. "We..." damn it! Use your words, Caramel!

Bago ko pa matapos ang gustong sabihin ay tinalikuran na ako ni Iouis. The door slammed behind him as I flinched. Parang estatwa akong nakatulala sa kawalan at bumalik lang sa wisyo nang makarinig muli ng iyak.

It was only then when I realized what happened. That I broke the news to Iouis and he walked out. That I am left in the room... alone...