Aditi's point of view

"Why your cheeks are red?" Dhruv asked me as soon as he approached both Raghav and I.

"Nothing, the sun is too bright." I said while trying to control my blush but my cheeks are getting more red.

"It's not because of the sun, it's because of yo.....ouch.." Before Raghav could complete his sentence I hit my heel on his feet. He yelped in pain dramatically and looked at me, I showed him my eyes and warn him not to say a single word. Dhruv was looking at both of us confusingly.

"What..?" Dhruv asked.

"Nothing, He was saying that Shastri ji was waiting for us inside." I said while glaring Raghav but he was looking at me mischievously.

"Come..." Dhruv smiled and hold my hand while guiding me inside the house.

"Oh! Lord when will you find a girl for me." Both Dhruv and I turn to look Raghav and he was looking upward asking god to full fill his wish. He looked at us and sighed loudly.

"The God also knows that you are intolerable that's why he was showing some sympathy to the girls." Dhruv gave the savage reply to Raghav and laughed. I warn Dhruv not to say mean words to Raghav but he keep laughing.

"Don't forget you are also single." Raghav glared to Dhruv while walking towards us.

"Well, At least I have my beautiful neighbour beside me." Dhruv said while looking at me, making my cheeks red when he called me his beautiful neighbour. This is the first time he called me his beautiful neighbour just like I call him my handsome neighbour. This feels so good and special that I could not describe in words. I looked down and tuck a lock behind my ear.

"But you...." Before Raghav could ask anything Dhruv hold my hand again and took me inside. Raghav followed us from behind.

****

Raghav, Dhruv and I we all came inside the house. Shastri's ji was as big as Dhruv's house in Saharanpur and decorated beautifully. Shastri ji and his wife welcomed us warm heartedly. Dhruv bent down and touched Shastri ji and his wife feet.

"Aree...sir please don't touch my feet. You are my superior. I work under you." Shastri ji said while stopping Dhruv but Dhruv touch his feet anyway.

"I am off duty Shastri ji. Now I am a normal civilian like you." I could not move my eyes from him when he said such words.

Today he is at the highest peak in his career but still his feet are on ground. He did not forget his values and still respects elders like he used to years ago otherwise I saw many people loosing their values after their achievement.

Shastri ji and his wife looked impressed by Dhruv and gave him blessings. After that I touched their feet. They stopped me but I also don't listen to them and after comes Raghav who touched their feet.

Party started soon after attending us Shastri ji and his wife leave us to attend other guests and soon the cake ceremony held and it was being cut by Shastri ji and his wife with all joy and good wishes. Dhruv and I sit on a couch looking at Raghav who was keep flirting with a girl in the party. Dhruv rolled his eyes while I keep myself busy of adoring him when he was busy scrolling down on his phone. But whenever he looked at me I looked on the other side.

I guess time can't fix old habits.

"Did you eat anything?" Dhruv asked and I shook my head negatively. He immediately bring food for me and made me eat the light brunch. After that he gave me my medicines which I took gladly.

Shastri ji have only two daughters. Shastri ji and his wife were dancing with their daughters. But the way Shastri ji and his wife were enjoying with their daughters it made me think that people like Shastri ji also exist in this world who loves daughter and feel lucky to have them.

Dhruv told me that Shastri ji elder daughter is also preparing for UPSC exam so he gave advice her many time and guided to choose a optional subject for UPSC IAS mains. We both talked on many things until someone called him and he has to leave me to attend the person. I was sitting alone, looking at people on the dance floor, enjoying the dance until Raghav came and sit beside me.

"Why does he always give you medicines?" Raghav asked while looking at Dhruv who is busy in talking to the person.

"I don't know. I never asked." I shrugged my shoulders.

He gasped shockingly.

"What...? You never asked?" He asked me shockingly and I shook my head like it doesn't matter to me.

"What you never asked? What if he gives you some possession pills? What if they are toxic? " He said shockingly.

"Raghav...." I warn him, took a little pause and then continue, "You know he is not like that and I trust him." I speak truthfully. His expressions changed from shocking to amusement and he was looking at me mischievously.

"See you like him." I rolled my eyes when he again bring the topic.

"You are not gonna leave it, are you?" I asked.

"Nope, until you accept that you like him. Because I can clearly see the connection between you. You both can feel it but too stubborn to accept especially I talking about the District magistrate here." He gestured to Dhruv who is listening to person with him intently.

"It's not easy." I looked down and tuck a strand of hair behind the ear.

It was never, I knew it from the first day. Since the day I saw Dhruv and I realised my feelings for him I knew that it's not gonna easy to be in love with him. I lost all my hope to meet him again when he leave the city eight years ago but now when he again came back to my life, I don't want to have any hope. I myself don't want any relationship between us because I don't deserve him. He disserves much better than me. He disserves the girl who is less broken than me, whose family didn't abandoned her. I am not the girl he desires.

"Hey, I have seen these earrings somewhere, but I don't remember where?" Raghav bring me back from my thoughts and asked while touching the earing which is dangling in my left ear.

"Where did you buy them?" He asked while looking them closely.

"Someone gifted me." I said in a lower tone and I can feel my heated cheeks getting colour. Yes, they are gifted by my handsome neighbour because I lost its pair years ago. Dhruv complete the pair and gifted me.

"Shit, you are the earring girl." He said something but I could not understand the meaning. He looked shocked but soon there is smile form up on his face. It wasn't a smirk but an actual smile and he looked satisfied.

"Dhruv carried this earring for years in his wallet and not a single day went when he does not take it out from his wallet and looked at it remembering someone, especially when he felt emotionally weak. I am happy that you are his earring girl." I looked at Raghav with shock and then Dhruv who was now looking at me. I can feel the tears in my eyes. I know he had my earring and carried it in his wallet but I don't know that he looked at it everyday and miss me especially when he felt low emotionally.

Dhruv give me a smile and then again started talking to the person. I looked down and wiped my tears hiding from Raghav.

"I ma happy that the girl was you whom he spent many nights missing and adoring your earring. I will be the happiest person if you both get together as a couple. You both need each other." Raghav said and there was a genuineness in his eyes.

"Don't say something which cannot be true." I said.

"Why not, Can't you both see how happy and satisfied you both look when you are with each other. Don't fucking tell me that every time your cheeks are red because of sun when you are around Dhruv because it's not. Fucking accept your feelings both of you and stop denying that you don't like each other." He looked irritated.

"Fine, I like him. No....I love him. Now what? What do you think he doesn't know about my feelings?" I asked him  while taking a little pause while he looking at me with confusion. I took a deep breath and then I continue, " He knows everything. He wrote a letter for me before leaving the city eight years ago. In that letter he confessed me that he knows about my feelings and apologized that he could not reciprocate my feeling because he never looked at me that way. I accepted that he cannot be mine. He doesn't love me back doesn't mean that my love for him become less. It becomes stronger by the time. I don't want to force my love on him. I respect his decision and feelings." I said calmly and wiped the tears which left from my eyes. Raghav was looking at me with sympathy and concern. He is the first person I confessed my love for Dhruv. I don't want to but he didn't left me any choice.

"Please don't tell anything about this to Dhruv. I don't want him to feel guilty. He deserves best and I am the worst. We don't match." I completed and again wiped the tears which again welled uo in my eyes.

"I wish, I could do something for you." He said in a sympathetic way.

"Just don't tell him anything. It will be enough." I said while giving him a sad smile he also smiled and blinked, assuring me.

****

Raghav left my side when he got the call from his mom.. He told me that he forgot to take his mom to the shopping and he will be dead meat if he will not take her to the shopping tomorrow. Dhruv was still busy with person who occupied him since last hour. But now I am looking at him, he looked bore and seems like he really want to leave that person but the person is not ready to let him go.

I had little talk with Shastri's ji daughter and his wife and they looked nice. Slow music was playing by DJ, Shastri ji and his wife were dancing romantically along with other couples and I found myself lost in them.

"Aditi come dance with us..?" I was distracting by the familiar voice. Shastri's ji daughters Tina and Swerna was standing in front of me and asking for the dance.

"I am sorry but I can't.." I denied politely. I never danced in front of anyone. I used to dance behind the closed doors but now this hobby also left me like others.

But I don't complain. One day also come when this body of mine also leave me soon.

"Please Aditi..." They both beg to me

"But..." Before I could deny they hold my hand and took me to the dance floor.

They made me stood on the middle of the dance floor and asked everyone to leave the dance floor for me. My heart started beating faster in nervousness. This is going to be the first time I am going to dance in front of anyone and I know I am going to embarrassed myself. I saw Raghav also come and cheers for me, encouraging me. Dhruv was not at my sight, making me sigh in relief because I am too shy to perform in front of him because his presence makes me nervous if I dance and second.

"Come on Aditi...." Raghav again cheers for me I chuckled nervously because I don't know how I should react.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and my mind again started playing with me. It brings me back to the painful memories of my life. The feeling of unloved in my whole life crawled inside me. I don't know which triggered it but I wanted to cry loudly. If this is not enough, my one sided live for Dhruv stab me again and again in my heart deeply, freshen up my wounds and works as a salt.

It hurts, it really hurts. 

Why can't Dhruv love me back the way I love him? Why can I not feel the love which every one feels in different stages of their life? Why Dhruv does not want to give me another chance.

I am just asking one chance to love me.

I just wanted to know, how it feels to be loved.

I just wanted someone in my life who will give love to me and tell me you don't have to worry because he is with nit just for the hours but for forever.

I know everything will vanish one day and again darkness consume in my life but just for once I want to feel his love.

Music started playing. It was the song I heard many time on television and saw how girls dances on it. It was the song from Sachet and parampara. They are husband and wife and make mashup songs giving a little twist in their own version and the song started playing, somewhere shows my condition and love for Dhruv.

(Must watch the dance video. Aditi dance just like this girl in the video.)

Song started with sachet's voice and my body started moving accordingly. But suddenly Dhruv's comes no where and my eyes met with him. His eyes was stick to me. He was looking at me intendedly and I can feel he could connect the lyrics because his eyes are red as mine.

But I could not stop myself and keep dancing forget about the surrounding  us and lost in each other like only we are here alone in this hall and I am expressing my love and pain for him through the song.

Meri sanso mai tu hai sumaya
tere bin jeena mujhe nhi aaya....

These lines are true, I had never learn living without him In all these past years he is with me. Maybe not physically but he is with me in my helliculation. When I need him, I just have to think about him and he got present in front of my eyes.

As the line started mayi ni mayi my movement started get fast. I was moving fast according to the rhythm.  I took two rounds and move my hands flexibly making a positions of classical dance. When I took the spin my eyes again met with Dhruv and his eyes was not moving from me. He forgot to blink and it was feeling like he was holding his breath.

Mayi ni mayi mundee pe teri bol rha hai kaga..
Jogan ho gayi teri dulari man jogi sang laga
Aaannnn..
man jogi sang laga...

It's true, maybe my mother is not aware of her daughter's love, she was not allowed to but she doesn't know that her daughter already lost her heart to the boy who lives next door.

Her handsome neighbour...

Aaja na ab tersao sajna
Aaja na ab tersao sajna..

Tears are streaming out from my eyes. My heart was aching in pain every time my eyes met with Dhruv but now I stopped looking anywhere and danced directly looking into his eyes like I am confessing my live to him. Maybe not directly but through this song. I can see his eyes are also glistening with unshaded tears, it was like our eyes are talking and I hearts are the music.

I was telling him how Painful yet so beautiful his love is. How I want so badly him in my life but don't want to be with him either.

I want to tell him to hold me in his arms, not temporary but forever. I want to tell him to release me from this pain, the pain of being in love with him but not getting him.

Ankha vich pake kajal
Peran which pake payal, twara naam naam leke japadi firra...

I went closed to him while gesturing to my eyes and show him my legs where I was wearing the anklets which he gifted me, only telling him that I wore them only for him.

I still remember how I used to get extra ready before going to his house just because of him, that he noticed me but he never spared a glance towards him.

I wore tingling earrings, used to wear bangles, and anklets in my feet so he could noticed my presence but he also walked away or leave the place when I arrived in his house.

He extended his hands to hold me but before he could reach me I spin around and went away from him.

Mayi ni mayi munder pe teri bol rha hai kaga..
Jogan ho gayi teri dulari, man jogi sang laga..man jogi sang laga...

Song reached to it's end and now my movement as fast as song was. My cheeks are all wet from the tears and eyes are red like tomato but still they are fixing only one person.

I could not read his expressions, there are lot of emotions playing in his eyes and I don't want to misunderstood them with love or something romantic. This one minute song feels like hours because the lyrics of the song are just not the lyrics, they are my confession to my love for Dhruv.

I could not call my one sided love to love because it's not love. It's only crush until Dhruv does not feel the same for me.

Song end with last beat, I hold one position, both hands are up, connected in air and my body was angled a little to make it a graceful posture but my eyes are still on Dhruv who was standing, looking at me intendedly with his glistening red eyes.

Everyone started clapping bringing me back to the reality. I could not hold my tears more so I ran away from there while cupping my mouth with one hand to hold my sobs.

I ran until, I found the isolated corner in the house. I leaned to the wall, put my forehead on the wall and started crying while hiding my face between my palms. I let out my sobs but keep them slower so no one could hear me.

I never think confessing my love to Dhruv in song, would be this tough. I don't know what would happen to me when I confessed him in words and he would reject me.

I don't know why I forgot this again and again that I don't made for love but why I still want love in my life after being rejected for love again and again.

I am not sure what scares me most, that he will never love me or I will never stop loving him. He will never understand that the thought of him being with someone else, hurts. Nothing hurts more than when he leave me eight years ago and I finally realised that he meant everything to me but I meant nothing to him.

Why is it so hard to move on from him?

Suddenly two pair of arms hold my both shoulders from the back and spun me around. It did not take me seconds to realise that who he is.

He touched our foreheads but our eyes our closed. Our breathing was fast and heart was beating fast. My tears are still not stop and I don't have courage to push him, instead I lean in his arms when he hold me from my waist.

"Why....?" He whispered. I didn't say anything but I break into his arms. I was crying, not loudly but my body was shaking.

"Why...?" He again asked me and cul my right cheek with his palm. I keep crying because I don't have answer for his question.

"Koi itna pyaar kisi se kaise ker sakta hai?" He asked and I opened my eyes. He was already looking at me, tears brimmed out at the corner of my eyes when I looked at him but I didn't say anything because I don't have any answer for his question.

(How could someone loves someone so much?)

I don't know how or maybe because of my dance performance he realised my love for him. I want to denied as I don't want force my love on him but my lips are sealed. I could not say anything.

He wiped the tears from the corner of my eyes with his thumb without breaking the eye contact with me.

His eyes, they are so beautiful. They said most of the things which he can't. I still remember when first time our eyes met, I trival the moment almost nothing because I lost in them and time had stopped.

We don't say anything for a quiet moment. He was waiting for my answer but I choose to keep quiet instead of having answer with me or maybe not because my love is not something I can put in definition or in words.

"Can we go to my house?" Finally he said something after a long silence and before I could answer anything he hold my hand and started walking.

.....................................................................

I hope you like the chapter.

When I began to write this chapter I was confused. I don't know what should I write in this chapter. But I want this chapter little bit emotional. So I put a song which I heard frequently and I like the song very much. I advise you, must listen the song. I am sure you also fell in love with it.

I tried really hard to put all Aditi's emotions in words throughout the song. I hope, I got successful, make you feel what Aditi feels when she was dancing.

Please don't forget to vote and please do long and lots of comments as I really live to read your comments.

I will see you guys in next amazing update, till then please enjoy this festive season.

Thank you....