"Stay here. I'll go check-in and get the keys and then we'll drive up to the cabin," Mark said and softly kissed Thomas on the lips.

He got out of the car and went to get the keys from the owner of the cabin, who lived a few cabins away from the one that Mark and Thomas had rented. Mark knew the people who rented these cabins and so they had managed to get one, despite planning it so late. A few minutes later, Mark returned, with a pair of keys in one hand and a welcome basket in another. He got in the car and set the basket on Thomas's lap and drove to their cabin.

It was a small wooden structure with a cute front porch. As they walked inside, they set their bags by their bed and looked around the place. It had a bedroom, a small kitchen, and a bathroom, not needing much else.

Mark locked the front door and without saying anything he walked up to Thomas and kissed him. They hadn't seen each other for ten days. They had talked on the phone a bit but considering that it was a chance to be with their families they hadn't arranged any date. Besides, they had four days in this cabin, alone.

"My Dad told me you talked to him..." Mark said in between kisses. "That was really sweet..." another pause to take off Thomas's sweater. "But you didn't have to," he said and got on his knees.

"I wanted to do it," Thomas said with a pant. "I really feel bad for making you go through everything you went through after our breakup".

Mark snapped back and looked up with an exasperated look in his eyes. He bit his own lips and got up from where he was kneeling.

"Why the fuck are you mentioning that right now?" he sharply said. Thomas blinked at him, not having expected such a reaction.

"Mark, I-"

"If being with me makes you feel bad then..." Mark went on, the aggression in his voice not going away.

"Mark, where is this coming from?" Thomas stuttered, figuring out where Mark's sentence was going.

"I'm sick and tired of listening to you say that you feel bad about our breakup. It's in the past. Get over it. I have!"

"I can't just 'get over it'. I hurt you and I will never stop regretting that," Thomas said and lowered his gaze.

"Regret will get you nowhere. Feeling bad for something you did seven years ago will do you nothing. And-" he paused to rub his eyes because he didn't want to start crying. Not over this. Not right now. "I know that it's not your intention, but whenever you mention how bad you feel about the past... it makes me feel as if what we have now is not enough to keep you happy".

"Mark, no. I... what we have is more than just enough. I'm just a mess," Thomas replied and reached out to take Mark's hands in his own.

"Stop saying that. You're not a mess. You've just been through a lot. Mentally. You've lived seven years in an environment that doesn't accept you. That doesn't make you a mess or weak or in any way bad. It makes you a bit complicated, but everyone is complicated," Mark replied and kissed Thomas's forehead. "Have you ever thought of talking to a professional?"

"You mean like a therapist?" Thomas asked, pulling a little back so he could look up at Mark.

Mark nodded. He had thought of that a while ago. In fact, before they even started dating again. The first time it crossed Mark's mind was the first time they had talked in Thomas's apartment. Back when he was still with Sarah. Seeing how pleading and broken Thomas had appeared had made Mark think about how badly Thomas really must have had it.

"I have. A few times, I thought about it. But then I either talked with Dean or lately with you and I don't know... I don't really think I need it," Thomas replied.

"Well, if at some point you feel like you need it, that's okay. Admitting you need help isn't a bad thing," Mark told him. Thomas bit his lip and shook his head, making it clear to Mark that he understood and agreed with him. Then he coyly looked toward the bed.

"So, are we...?" he said and cleared his throat, changing the subject.

"I'm disappointed that you have to ask," Mark replied with a devious smile and without another word passionately kissed Thomas.

***

"Good morning," Thomas said with a yawn. He stretched out in bed and looked up at Mark. He was sitting up against the pillow, reading something on his phone with a frown.

"Lily's article about you came out," Mark replied. At once, Thomas sat up.

"What does it say? Did you read it?" Thomas asked, leaning over to also see the article on Mark's phone.

"It's... okay..." Mark muttered, surprise clear in his voice.

"What do you mean?"

"She wrote good things about you. A lot of compliments about your form and your dedication. She mentioned your love for soccer and how with the years it has only increased. She added some quotes from your Coaches who obviously said only the best about you. I don't even know why we were worried," Mark replied and turned to look at Thomas.

Thomas took Mark's phone and started reading the article from the start. An individual with exceptional dedication and love for his passion and sport. His eyes danced over the rest of the article, searching for any sign of ill-intent.

"I really thought she wouldn't write anything nice. Not after how I left her after she kissed me," Thomas said after he finished reading all of it.

"Maybe she's more objective than we thought she was," Mark muttered and placed his hand on Thomas's bare thigh.

"Hey, you were the one who said she was an awful person," Thomas replied, letting Mark's phone drop down to the bed and placing his own hand on top of Mark's that rested on his thigh.

"She is an awful person. Most of her income funds horrible organizations, but at the very least she doesn't seem to be vindictive," Mark said.

"Horrible organizations?" Thomas repeated after Mark gave him a soft kiss. Mark wiped his lips, not moving away from Thomas for even an inch. He could still feel Thomas's breath fan against his cheek.

"Organizations that want us and people like us... gone," Mark said and rested his head against Thomas' shoulder.

"I get so caught up in soccer... and the bubble of soccer," Thomas started, with a small shake of his head, "that I often forget how shitty the rest of the world is".

"Sadly, it's easy to forget when you are not the actual target".

"But I..."

"You are a target," Mark interrupted him, correcting himself. "It's just that since you are not out, even though what is being said hurts you, it's not directed at you specifically. When they target you..." Mark paused and shook his head. He sat up and looked away from Thomas, turning his eyes to the snowy environment outside the window. "When other humans, look you in the eyes and tell you, you are unnatural. You are wrong. You are broken..." he paused again and let out a soft chuckle. "It's torture".

Thomas was speechless. He never thought Mark was affected by these things. Even back when he had first met Mark, he seemed so dismissive of anything and everything homophobic that it hadn't ever crossed Thomas's mind. He hadn't thought that Mark was hurt by it.

"I know what you are thinking," Mark said in a bitter tone and turned to look at Thomas. "I was the first out kid in my first High School. Others started coming out only after I stood up against Hal at the start of junior year. In your school, again I was the first kid that was out. And not even a month since I got there, another kid came up to me and asked me about my sexuality and how I realized that I was gay. He had this sad look in his beautiful golden-brown eyes. I just knew that I had to be strong for them. And for myself." Thomas looked at him and couldn't help but smile.

"Have I ever told you what made me come up to you that day?"

Mark softly smiled back and shook his head negatively. Thomas placed a hand on Mark's forearm and ran a finger over his veins. There was a slight blush on his cheeks and before he spoke up, he bit his lip, a little bit embarrassed for having mentioned it.

"About a week before that... I had a sex dream about you," Thomas said, averting his gaze.

"Are you serious?" Mark asked, the amusement in his tone clear.

"Yeah, you were giving me a blowjob in the soccer field... or something like that," Thomas replied. "That week I constantly had dreams about you."

"Were they all sex dreams?" Mark asked while pushing Thomas's hair back and drawing Thomas's gaze back to himself.

"I'm not sure. I remember I saw us cuddling once."

Mark squinted a little and then started pushing Thomas back. With a frown, Thomas gave in and readjusted so he was laying on his side. Without saying anything, Mark wrapped both arms around Thomas and moved the tip of his nose against Thomas's. Then he softly kissed his forehead.

"I'm so glad you came to talk to me that day."