--Kylo Ren--

She is intriguing, to say the least.

Aggravating, infuriating, completely and utterly naive and foolish, yes. Obviously. But still, something about her gets under my skin and irks me. Me, Kylo Ren, second in command to the most powerful being in the galaxy. Why, you ask? I wish I knew.

I try to figure it out as I sit here choking down my bland breakfast. She sits across the mess hall from me, silent as she listens to the no doubt stimulating conversation going on between the pilot, who is obviously in love with her, and the traitor, who is also obviously in love with her. I bet she has no idea. Like I said. Naive.

There's a quick little ripple in the Force that lets me know she senses my stare. I look away just as she glances my way. I can practically hear her eyes roll from here.

"Ben?"

The hair on the back of my neck pricks. Oh, how I wish they would stop using that name. Ben is long dead.

"Yes, mother?" I grumble.

"Did you forget about our meeting ten minutes ago, or were you planning to avoid it in favor of staring at Rey?" Her words are stern, but her tone suggests amusement. I, on the other hand, am furious.

I stand up abruptly, causing enough noise that most of the mess hall turns to stare at me. I glare at each of them in turn, daring them to keep looking. They don't.

"I wasn't staring, I was observing," I growl, stalking down the corridor that leads to the command center. My mother chuckles behind me, only causing my displeasure to increase. I hate every single person on this damned base.

The door to the command center slides shut behind us with a hiss. Like every day before today, the only other people in the room are my mother and my uncle. I sigh impatiently and sit before them. "Let's just get this over with. I have more important things to do than waste my days away ignoring your questions."

"Ben, the sooner you help us the sooner we can be off this planet and back to our normal lives," Luke urges. "You can start over, nothing holding you down, no alliances. You can get your life back."

"I don't want my old life back," I snap. "I was foolish and weak, easily manipulated. The person I used to be was destroyed with the Jedi temple. Who I am now is better. Stronger."

"This isn't you, Ben. I know you're still in there. My son is still alive." Leia kneels in front of me, hands on my knees, begging me to look at her. I avoid eye contact, knowing it will upset her.

"I will tell you the same thing I have been telling you every day for the past TEN DAYS!" The walls tremble with the force of my rage, and my mother backs away from me. "You. Will. Not. Change. Me," I grit out, teeth clenched so hard my jaw begins to ache. I'm towering over her, engulfing her in shadow, but there is no fear in her eyes. Only regret.

Luke and Leia exchange glances, as if conversing. "Maybe we can't," my mother says gently, "but someone else can. She already has."

Rage courses through my veins and I slam my fists down on the console in front of me, sending sparks flying. The lights around us flicker and the air in the room buzzes with the Force. "Don't try to bring me back here again," I hiss. "You won't like the consequences if you do." With that I turn on my heel and storm out of the room. I won't tolerate such disrespect.

As I turn the corner I run headlong into the girl from the other day. Helena, maybe? Hera? I didn't care enough to pay attention.

She gasps and fear takes over, paralyzing her. I raise my hand to shove her out of the way. She flinches, expecting a hard blow, but my hand stops mid-air. Growling in anger, I turn to see Rey with her hand outstretched toward mine.

"Lay a hand on her and I will make you hurt like never before," she spits. Loathing burns in her eyes and I smile, lowering my hand. The darkness is spreading within her. I can sense it.

Her Force grip on my hand dissipates and Hannah runs past me, thanking Rey on her way down the corridor.

"Just the scavenger I was looking for," I sneer. "I have a proposition for you."

Rey scoffs. "I have nothing to offer you, and I want nothing to do with whatever you want to offer me." She brushes past me but my hand on her arm stops her.

"Please, Rey." My voice is pleading, and I struggle to keep a straight face. She is entirely too predictable. She could never refuse a charity case. "I need your help."

Her eyes dart around as if contemplating the likelihood of a trap. I reach out to her through our Force bond and she flinches, but doesn't move away.

Finally she looks up at me, steely gaze drilling holes through my head. "What do you want from me?" She demands.

"Well, I actually need my mother's help, but she is unwilling to help me. She says I'm too violent, too unpredictable to trust. So I need your help in gaining my mother's trust." I realize I'm better at acting than I thought. My story is believable even to my own ears.

Rey narrows her eyes suspiciously. "And what's in it for me?" She demands.

"I will show you how to tap into your true powers. You have only scratched the surface of your capabilities. Let me be your teacher, Rey." I plead, knowing part of her is dying to unleash her true potential.

"Why should I trust you? For all I know you're trying to turn me to the Dark Side," she accuses. "You're going to show me things that will turn me against those I care about. Just like Snoke did to you."

It takes every ounce of self control in my body to keep from snapping her neck. She is bold to assume she knows anything about me, or my past. "I give you my word, Rey. I will teach you only what is allowed by the Jedi code. I will not lead you astray."

After several moments of careful internal deliberation, she sighs in defeat. "Fine. But only because I know how much it means to your mother. She needs her son back."

I smile gratefully at the scavenger. "Thank you. It means a lot to me, too," I lie.

"When shall we begin?"

I shrug nonchalantly. "I'm not otherwise occupied at the moment. We can start now, if you like."

Rey nods in agreement. "But how will this work? I give you a lesson, then you give me one?"

"Sounds good to me. Come, now. Before your friends find you and steal you away." I turn on my heel, but not before catching the roll of her eyes.

* * * * * * * * * *

An hour later, we're sitting alone behind the main hangar, hidden away from prying eyes by the rusting corpses of old starfighters. The sun is hot and bright overhead, and the smell of damp foliage overwhelms my senses. I'm not used to spending this much time outdoors and I find it vaguely irritating.

Rey and I sit on the ground cross-legged, facing one another. Exasperation is written across her face already.

"I need you to cooperate, okay? I know this isn't your usual style," she sighs, "but the easier you make this on both of us, the sooner we can both get on with our lives." One hand reaches up to rub her temples, and I take pride in the ease with which I am able to get under her skin.

"Meditation?" I scoff. "That's your grand idea? I meditate already, it does nothing to ease my temper." My contradicting her every suggestion is beginning to drive her crazy.

Rey crosses her arms stubbornly and shoots me her best 'as a matter of fact' glare. "That's because you're not doing it right."

"And how would you suggest I do it?" I mock her.

"First of all, lose the attitude. It's only going to cloud your mind and interrupt your concentration."

A bark of a laugh escapes me and I grin at the scavenger. "What attitude? I don't have an attitude."

Rey huffs and stands, brushing dirt and rust from her clothes. "You're eternally in a mood, Ren. Your entire life is a mood."

My eyes roll back in my head. "You're a pest, Scavenger."

"Shut up and close your eyes," Rey snaps.

"Yes, ma'am."

"I said close your eyes!"

"My eyes are closed!"

"But your mouth isn't. Shut it."

I take a deep breath and obey. "Fine."

Suddenly I feel her so near, I can practically hear her heartbeat. Her voice is soft in my ear. "Now, clear your mind. Forget everything. The dark, the light, good, evil, everything. Forget it all. Focus on the sound of your own breathing, the rhythm of your heartbeat, the feeling of the solid ground beneath you. Nothing more."

"Okay. Now what?" Was that eagerness in my voice??

"Quiet."

"Sorry."

"Breathe, Ben. Just breathe." Rey begins the cleansing breaths, and I find myself relaxing. "Feel every blade of grass between your fingers. Hear the wind rustling through the trees. Smell the old metal, the blooming flowers, the decaying leaves. Focus on what is overlooked."

I mirror her without thinking. My senses expand, noticing details I hadn't before. Inhale . . . exhale. Inhale . . . exhale. I feel tension leave my body, like an enormous weight off my shoulders. Like I'm floating.

"Search within yourself," Rey continues in that hypnotic voice. "Feel your heart, your mind, your soul. Trace the pain back to its source. Patch the hole."

But I don't want to. I know as soon as I do, I'll lose this blissful moment. So I say, "I don't feel any pain."

"Liar. Keep looking." She is relentless.

"I don't feel anything," I insist, angry now that she's ruined my peace.

Her voice is nagging and whining again, like the screech of metal on metal. "You killed your friends. Your peers, innocent children, who were training beside you. You slaughtered them all. Did you feel anything? Did you flinch? Did you hesitate?"

"Shut up." My growl was enough to send anyone else running away, but not her. Not Rey. We're somehow standing now, nose-to-nose, faces red.

"Answer the question!" She demands.

I feel my façade begin to crack. It scares me. "Of course I felt something," I mutter. "I had never taken a life before. They were my friends. But their sacrifice was necessary." The statement sounds weak to my own ears.

Rey glares at me suspiciously. "Was it necessary? To you, or to Snoke?"

"Does it matter?" I spit. My hands are trembling now.

"Of course it matters. Are you his pawn? Were any of these plans yours?" She presses.

"Why are you provoking me?" I shout, feeling the cracks widen. I don't know what will happen if she manages to break me.

"To show you the pain in your heart. To remind you of your humanity!" She yells back. "This is why you can't heal. You refuse to feel anything! You live in denial of the things you've done because it's easier that way, isn't it?" Her eyes light up at her revelation, and it fuels the fire of my fury.

My fists clench, needing to be around her throat or splitting her skull with my lightsaber. "This isn't going to end well for you if you continue," I snarl.

"You betrayed your family, the only people who ever loved you. Why did you do that?" Her eyes burn into mine. Another crack.

"They were holding me back. They knew what I was capable of and they feared me. Snoke did not."

She takes another step toward me. "When Snoke gave you orders to commit mass genocide, did you hesitate? Or did you relish the sight of millions of innocent beings dying by your hand?" More cracks.

"Their sacrifice was necessary." I sound like a broken record.

"You keep saying that. Are those your words, or someone else's words for you?" Rey stares deep into my soul and I can tell I'm about to explode.

"You wouldn't understand." My voice wavers.

"Try me."

That was it. The final straw. One last crack and I was busted open. Everything came pouring out. All the suppressed emotions. All the fear, the regret, the anger, the agony. It all burst from me like it never had before.

"IT WAS TOO LATE!" I scream, throat burning. My chest is heaving and I feel tears begin to surface. "I let anger consume me and by the time I realized what I had done for him it was too late." Tears run hot down my face and blur my vision. Every word tastes of salt. "He knew exactly what to say to push me over the edge and I let him." Sobs rack my body as images of my father flash in my mind. "I killed my father because I was too weak to say no. I was so weak." My voice breaks and I fall to my knees.

I flinch as Rey sits before me with red-rimmed eyes and wipes away my tears with a shaking hand. "I'm so sorry, Ben."

This time my name doesn't fall from her lips like a curse. I find it almost comforting.

After a few moments of ragged breaths and nervous glances, I continued. "By the time I knew I wanted to escape Snoke, it was too late. I would never be accepted anywhere. I'd made a name for myself in the galaxy, a name no one will soon forget." Having regained some composure, I stand up, and Rey follows. Pity shines in her eyes and it makes me sick. I don't want anyone's pity or sympathy.

"Don't feel sorry for me," I snap. "You're wasting your sympathy on someone who doesn't want it."

"I don't pity you," she says defensively. "I simply know how it feels to not feel like you belong anywhere."

"You wouldn't know the first thing about what it's like to be me," I challenge her. "An hour in my shoes would kill you. You don't have what it takes, and you likely never will. You're too weak."

Rey stares at me, face blank, eyes afire. I can practically see her trying to come up with some rebuttal, but she says nothing. This might be the first time I have actually rendered her speechless.

"Ben," she begins softly, "when you stop using anger and fear to keep people from getting too close, you'll see the truth. No one wants to hurt you here. You're not alone."

Now I'm the one who's speechless. Of all the things I expected her to say, all the hate-filled shouts and insults I imagined would come out of her mouth in this moment, I never expected this. Not this kindness. It throws me off-balance long enough for her to stand to leave without me noticing.

As she walks past me, I reach out and grab her wrist. She flinches and I loosen my vice grip. "Rey, wait."

So she does. She stands there above me, eyes still angry but face serene, waiting for me to say something. But I wasn't sure what to say. I hadn't thought that far ahead. I try again. "Rey, I..."

No words come. So she smiles tightly, pulls her wrist from my grasp, and walks back inside. I'm left alone with my thoughts, and they are chaotic. Was she trying to manipulate me? What is her plan? Is she trying to throw me off so she can weaken and then kill me?

I'm not sure how long I stay out there contemplating these things, but by the time I head back into the base my whole perspective has changed. I'm more confused and conflicted than ever. My emotions are all over the place. For the first time I feel my control slipping and it terrifies me. What has this girl, this scavenger, done to me? I am Kylo Ren. I refuse to be disarmed by some piece of desert scum.

But she's not just desert scum. Not anymore. She's something else entirely, and I intend to find out what.