--Poe--

It's been a week since Rey's little encounter with Snoke. She hasn't said much about it, and it hasn't happened again, but I can tell it haunts her. The circles under her eyes keep getting darker, and her face seems to be losing color every day. As for Ren, no one has seen him since we arrived at the old base on Dalastine. It's the only one that came out of the Galactic Civil War virtually unscathed.

"The base was overrun and abandoned before the War ended," Leia had told us. "It was an insignificant base on a lesser-known planet. Few knew of its existence then: even fewer now. We should be safe here."

We've been here for five days now, and the 152 remaining Resistance fighters have been hard at work cleaning, repairing, and preparing the base for proper use again. No one has mentioned losing the majority of our closest friends and allies, along with all but three of our ships and most of our weapons. A few X-Wings survived on the main transport, but they need repairs before they can be used in combat again. We are hopelessly outnumbered and outgunned, but no one is giving up hope.

But maybe it just hasn't sunk in yet.

"Have you seen Rey today?" Finn asks, approaching the X-Wing I'm busy fixing.

"Nah, I haven't seen her since yesterday morning. She's probably in her room resting." I wipe the back of my hand across my forehead, trying to keep sweat from dripping in my eyes.

Finn looks at the ground and shuffles in place. "I don't think she's okay."

I scoff. "Really? You think?" Finn looks taken aback. "I'm sorry, man. I shouldn't have said that." With a final twist of my wrench, the last repair is done, and I hop off the wing with a grunt. "C'mon, let's go find her."

Finn shoots me an appreciative smile, and I throw my arm around his shoulders. "Do you think Ren has anything to do with it? Maybe he's still in her head, hurting her, and nobody knows."

"She told me it was Snoke, not Ren," I tell him. "Maybe she was wrong though. I wouldn't be surprised. He hates her more than he hates you, and that's really saying something."

Finn rolls his eyes. "I think he hates himself most, though. Have you seen his hair? Dude needs a trim."

I laugh out loud, causing several mechanics in the hangar to turn around. "You're probably right!"

"And his clothes, too!" Finn punches in the code for the door leading into the mess hall. "Have you ever seen someone wear so much black? I'd say something about him overheating outside but his skin is so pale I doubt he ever sees the light of day!" Finn is howling now, doubled over laughing at his own joke. I'm not laughing, though. And Finn stops when he sees what I'm looking at.

Kylo Ren is seated at a table a few paces away, hands cuffed, and flanked by two armed guards. And he's staring right at us.

Finn clears his throat awkwardly and takes a step back. "We weren't talking about you, we...we..."

"We? That was all you, buddy." I clap my friend on the shoulder and keep walking. He swears when he notices my absence, and runs to catch up with me.

"Not cool, Poe! Not cool!" He pants.

"Finn, what can he do to you? He's powerless and unarmed. Plus he's outnumbered. He'd be stupid to try anything."

"Whatever," he mutters. "Let's just find Rey."

We walk down the maze of dark and dusty hallways, trying to remember the way. Every door looks the same. Every corridor looks the same. It's pretty much a game of trial and error, opening every door until we find the right one, complete with awkward 'Hey, Rey- oh, sorry, you're not Rey' moments.

We finally reach the right one. Rey is sitting upright in bed, hugging her knees to her chest, staring blankly at the wall.

"Rey? You okay?" Finn approaches the bed and gently touches her shoulder, making her jump. His hand immediately retracts and he steps away. "I'm sorry for bothering you. We were just worried."

"I'm fine," she rasps. Her voice is hoarse and very quiet, as if she hasn't spoken in days. Which, I guess, she hasn't.

"Will you come eat dinner with us?" I offer. "You must be starving."

"I'm not hungry."

I look at her baggy clothes and sunken cheeks, but don't say anything.

Finn finally speaks up. "You know you don't have to be afraid of h-"

"I'm not afraid of him!" She snaps.

I look at Finn and he looks at me. We start retreating at the same time.

"Well, you know where we'll be," I say carefully. "Get some sleep."

As I close the door, I hear her mutter under her breath, "Not likely."

* * * * * * * * * *

--Rey--

The door shuts behind Poe and Finn, and I sigh in relief, throwing myself back on the bed. As much as I appreciate their concern, they don't understand. They don't know the whole story.

They don't understand that the reason I'm not sleeping isn't because I'm traumatized by what happened with Snoke; in reality, I'm not sleeping because every time I close my eyes, he is there. The one that saved me from Snoke, the one that I'm supposed to hate but don't for some reason beyond my understanding.

It's not like before. This time he's there even when he's not sleeping, making sure I'm okay and that my walls are up so Snoke can't infiltrate my mind again. Mostly we just sit in silence, like old friends who don't have anything to say but enjoy each other's company regardless.

So no, Poe, I don't fear Snoke. I fear my lack of fear for Snoke's apprentice.

A soft knock on my door drags me out of my thoughts. I don't say anything, hoping whoever it is will go away.

"Rey, let me in. I can sense you, I know you're awake." It's Luke.

I reluctantly get up from the bed, and immediately the room tilts and spins. My knees buckle and I close my eyes, bracing for the impact of the cold floor, but it never comes.

"How many times am I going to have to catch you like this?"

My head snaps up at the new voice. It's Ren, standing in front of my Master.

"You need to eat," Luke says gently, approaching me with a tray of food. Ren lets me down gently and I sit down on the edge of my bed.

"I'm not hungry," I lie. "Why is he here?" My eyes dart over to the smug-faced man now standing in the corner.

"I'm on guard duty. Since we haven't rebuilt the holding cells yet, we have to take turns keeping an eye on him."

I glance down and notice the cuffs have been removed. As if he feels my stare, he rubs absentmindedly at his bare wrists. "I don't trust him," I tell Luke.

"I know you don't, but I had to bring you food and I can't let him out of my sight."

"Thank you. You can leave it on the table there." Luke obeys, leaving my tray of food on the bedside table.

"Do you need anything else?" Luke asks. I shake my head. "Just call if you change your mind. I'll hear you." My Master walks back to the door, glancing over his shoulder at his nephew, who shows no intention of leaving.

"Are you coming?"

Ren shakes his head. "No, I think I'll stay. I'd like to talk to Rey for a moment."

Luke narrows his eyes, torn between keeping me safe and trusting his nephew. "Rey?"

I shrug. "I have my lightsaber. I can defend myself if I have to."

Luke reluctantly leaves the room, but not before putting the handcuffs back on Kylo Ren. "Don't try anything," he warns.

"I won't. I just want to talk."

Luke leaves us alone, and I don't feel scared of the man who walks across the room and sits on the edge of my bed.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He asks after a few silent moments.

"I'm not tired," I say, before a yawn overtakes me. Ren makes a sound that resembles a chuckle, and my eyes widen. I've never heard him laugh before.

"Is it because you're afraid I'll visit you in your dreams?"

"No, I-" I stop. He knows I'm lying. 

"Lack of sleep makes you weak," he states bluntly. "You can't be weak. Snoke can overpower you when you're weak."

"Snoke hasn't bothered me again," I protest. 

"Because I've been protecting you!" He shouts. I jump, and he sits back down.

I stare into his eyes and he looks away. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing. It doesn't matter."

"Tell me."

"I said it doesn't matter," he snaps. "Just forget it. Get some sleep."

I expect him to get up and leave so I can rest, but he doesn't. Instead he slides further onto the bed and leans back against the wall.

"What do you think you're doing?" I demand, scooting away from him.

"Resting. You should do the same." His eyes close, indicating the conversation is over.

I glare at him but don't say anything. I'm too tired to argue with him, and fighting him would result in my injury. So I let him stay.

My eyes close and I forget him, along with all the other problems in my life. I sleep harder and longer than I have in months, and it feels so good.

* * * * * * * * * *

Eight hours later...

A faint thumping pulls me slowly from my wonderful nap. It's like a quiet drum beat, slow and hypnotic. I stretch languidly, relishing the sleepy soreness in my muscles. When the pillow under my head moves, I realize the drum beat I heard was a heartbeat. 

My eyes fly open and I come face-to-face with the merciless former leader of the First Order . . . who is currently sound asleep. His dark hair falls over his face in soft waves, and his lips are slightly parted. I've never seen him look so peaceful, every angry line on his face smoothed out. As if he feels me watching him, his brows furrow and he begins to wake up. I scramble away from him and look away.

His sudden intake of breath makes me look back at him. He looks panicked for a moment before he realizes where he is.

"I didn't mean to fall asleep," he says, voice gravelly. 

"Why did you stay?" My voice cracks from lack of use.

Kylo Ren yawns and stretches, and it makes him look more human for a moment. "Because I had to keep Snoke out of your head. But you don't want me in your dreams, so..."

"Why do you want to protect me?" I doubt he truly cares, but I don't say that.

"I'm not protecting you. I'm keeping him from dragging me back to the First Order. They are beneath me, but the power is seductive. If he finds me I know I'll go back." There's no emotion in his voice, and somehow I know he's telling the truth.

Still, I can't help but notice how much better I feel this morning. I slept through the night without a single nightmare, and my appetite is back. It can't be a coincidence.

I finally work up the nerve to speak. "Can I ask you something?" He glances up at me, clearly irritated, but nods anyway. "Why did you let us capture you?"

He looks away and clenches his jaw. For a while he doesn't say anything, and I think he's not going to answer.

"I had a plan. Snoke wanted me to turn you, make you think you could trust me. I was to convince you that the Resistance was your enemy, and use you to escape. You were supposed to come with me, and I would have taken you to Snoke to begin your training. But I guess he changed his mind." He glances down at his hands, clenched so hard that the knuckles are white.

"Why did he betray you?" I ask quietly.

He stands up so abruptly the bed bounces and I hit my head on the wall behind me, causing a headache to bloom immediately. I shake my head to clear the stars swimming in my vision.

"You think I knew this would happen?!" He shouts. "Are you that fucking naïve that you believe I can see inside his head? I. Don't. Know." His sudden outburst scares me, but I don't let the fear show. It would only egg him on.

After several minutes of pacing, he sits back down. When he speaks this time his voice is softer. "Apparently my usefulness has expired. He had no need for me anymore, so he decided to tie up loose ends. That's my guess."

"If he doesn't need you anymore, that means-"

"He found a new apprentice," Ren finishes for me. "And that's why he's coming after you."

"Me?! But I'm not--I would never..." I stop, my thoughts buzzing through my head incoherently.

"Rey." I look up at him when he says my name. "Do you not feel the darkness inside you? Does it not call out for you to embrace it?"

I think back to Ahch-To, and all the other times I've felt that...that thing. I had no idea what it was, but I hadn't feared it or tried to block it out. It just was.

"I sense it, Snoke senses it. I'm sure Luke and my mother do as well. You have a power in you, a darkness that has the capacity for great destruction. It will continue to overtake you until you give in or learn to push it down. Snoke believes he can use it to complete his mission. My mission." Seconds seem to drag on for hours as he lets this information sink in. "I wasn't lying before. You and I are more similar than you realize."

I feel sick. The room is spinning as I try to make sense of what Ren is saying. It doesn't add up, it can't be true, but somehow I know he's telling the truth. Suddenly it feels like I'm stuck in the middle: not enough Light to serve the Jedi, but not enough Dark to serve the First Order. I'm just somewhere in the middle, looking for a place to fit in.

And I know Kylo Ren feels the same way. He doesn't belong anywhere. He killed Ben Solo a long time ago, and Kylo Ren was Snoke's apprentice. He is no longer either of those people.

I look in his eyes and he lets me in. I feel what he feels. Anger, fear, loneliness, isolation. The same emotions I feel. It's like we're back in the interrogation room, what feels like years ago. We are two sides of the same coin.

Something clicks and I feel as if I have a new ally. Like we have a new understanding of one another. Not friends by any means, but also no longer enemies. Just two strangers caught in no man's land.

He gets up and leaves without a word, and I'm left alone with my thoughts. I sit there for hours, unmoving and silent, until my stomach begins to growl in earnest.

When I finally make it to the mess hall it's late afternoon. Finn and Poe rush to my side, making sure I'm okay. They seem shocked to see me, and even more shocked that I look the same as I did before the incident with Snoke. As if it never happened.

I feel it now, the darkness inside me. It hasn't changed, but I'm aware of it now. And I don't fear it. After all, it's part of me. So why should I ignore it?