NOTE: You have to read Blake Vitale (THE BROKEN SOUL'S PLEA) story first, before reading Blaze's. Thank you in advance 😘 Happy Reading ❤️

PROLOGUE

"FUCK!" galit na sambit ni Blaze nang makatanggap ng text galing kay Lucky. His wounded twin brother didn't listen to him! Again! He went to see Lucky.

Of course!

Bakit ba hindi na siya nagulat sa nalaman? Sa ginawa nito? Kailan ba nakinig sa kanya si Blake? He had always used the eldest card on him. Blake was just so thickheaded!

He was annoying the hell out of him! That fucker!

When it came to Lucky, Blake could do anything and everything, even the stupidest thing.

For Lucky.

Always for Lucky. Blake just loved her too much that sometimes Blaze would question himself if he would feel the same love and devotion again. Parang kayang kalimutan lahat ng kakambal niya, kahit ang sarili nito, para kay Lucky.

And it sometimes scared Blaze, at the same time he understood Blake. He knew what it felt like to love someone so deeply... so deeply that he couldn't even resurface to breathe... and to move on from loving that person.

Ang totoo, gusto niyang sumbatan si Blake na paano naman sila ng mommy nila? Hindi lang naman kay Blake may kasalanan si Lucky. May kasalan din ang babae sa kanya. Naapektuhan din siya sa ginawa nitong pang-iiwan sa kanilang ina sa mansiyon na 'yon.

But he had to reign himself and his anger... for Blake. Ayaw niyang ipakita rito na kumukulo siya sa galit at para 'yon lahat kay Lucky. Ngayon lang naging masaya si Blake at ayaw niyang sirain 'yon. Ayaw niyang bumalik na naman sa dati ang kakambal niya na parang wala nang halaga ang buhay nito.

If he had to pretend that what Lucky did was fine, he would. For Blakey.

"Bobby!" tawag niya sa pinakamalapit na attendant na nasa labas ng ER. "Give me a stretcher."

Agad namang tumalima ang attendant at itinulak ang stretcher na kinuha nito palapit sa kanya. Pero nawala roon ang atensiyon niya nang may mahagip siya sa gilid ng mga mata.

Biglang tumibok nang mabilis ang puso ni Blaze na matagal nang hindi bumibilis ang tibok. Pakiramdam niya ay bumalik ang lahat ng memoryang pilit niyang ibinabaon. Memoryang babaliw na naman sa kanya. Memoryang dahilan para gustuhin na naman niyang tapusin ang buhay niya.

Parang ayaw niyang kumurap, ayaw niyang mawala sa paningin niya ang mukhang gabi-gabi niyang hinihiling na makita at makasama.

But he had to blink. He knew he was hallucinating. This was the second time he saw her today. And it was getting harder and harder each time. The pain was getting more severe every time he would see her. Even if she was just a hallucination.

Pinilit niya ang sarili na kumurap at agad na nawala ang pamilyar na mukhang nakita.

Marahas niyang ipinilig ang ulo, saka siya na ang nagtulak ng stretcher palabas ng ospital para doon hintayin ang kakambal niyang matigas ang ulo.

Nang dumating ang sinasakyang kotse nina Blake at Lucky, nakatuon lang ang atensiyon niya kay Blake. Hindi siya tumingin kay Lucky at hindi ito kinibo hanggang sa maipasok nila sa kuwarto ang kakambal. Hindi niya alam kung kaya niya itong kausapin pagkatapos ng lahat.

"Blaze..."

Bahagya siyang natigilan nang tawagin ni Lucky ang pangalan niya. Bakit ba napakalambing ng boses nito tulad ng sa Cassie niya? Hindi tuloy niya mapanghawakan ang galit niya rito.

"Blaze..." Lucky took a deep breath. "I'm sorry... alam kong galit ka sa 'kin. Alam kong kahit hindi mo sabihin sa 'kin, naghihintay ka sa paliwanag ko, kung bakit ko ginawa ang ginawa ko, pero ang totoo niyan, wala akong maibibigay sa 'yo. If I explain my side, then it will just be an excuse and there's no excuse to what I did. Kasalanan ko talaga. Totoo ang nalaman mo, iniwan ko talaga ang mommy n'yo and my age is not an excuse to what I did. There is none. I escaped, promising your mother that I will go to the cops or to your house, but I didn't. I was so scared that day. They just finished hurting me because I wouldn't call him dad."

Gusto niyang sumagot, gusto niyang singhalan si Lucky. Gusto niya itong sisihin pero hindi niya maibuka ang bibig. Part of him wanted to hear her out... to understand her because she was Lucky.

She was his baby girl. The little sister he never thought he would have and he would want.

"All I could think about was to escape and go back to my old life, where I have a loving Mommy La and Daddy Lo. So, I left the mansion without looking back. But the car I was in suffered an accident. The next thing I know, I was in the hospital and when I saw my grandparents, I forgot everything. I don't know why. Hindi ko alam kung bakit nakalimutan ko ang pangako ko sa mommy mo. Siguro dahil nananalaytay sa 'kin ang dugo ng isang masamang tao kaya masama rin ako. Siguro ang nasa isip ko noon ay ang makaligtas ako kaya naging makasarili ako.

"And I have forgotten everything, and I am to blame. I was sixteen, no, nearly sixteen, I already have a mind and I'm old enough to be responsible. Kaya tama ka, kasalanan ko talaga kung bakit nangyari ang lahat ng 'to. Kasalanan ko kung bakit naghirap kayo. Kasalanan ko. And all I could say is I'm sorry. Hindi ako umaasa na mapapatawad mo ako, na babalik tayo sa dati. I'm just so sorry that I caused you so much pain and suffering.

"Alam kong gusto mong marinig mula sa 'kin na hindi ko sinasadyang gawin 'yon pero baliktarin man natin ang mundo, kasalanan ko sinadya ko man o hindi. That's why I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

Tinapos ni Blaze ang paggagamot sa sugat ng kakambal niya, saka pasimpleng bumuntong-hininga at tumayo.

Ang dami niyang gustong isumbat at isisi kay Lucky pero hindi niya magawa.

Her explanation... she wasn't explaining to be understood, she wasn't explaining so he wouldn't be mad at her anymore. Basta sinabi lang nito kung ano ang nangyari, na inaako nito ang kasalanan, na handa itong pagbayaran 'yon. She wasn't explaining her side to justify herself and her actions... she was explaining because she owed him... she owed them.

And that was all. Her explanation had no malice. Ano pa nga ba ang aasahan niya sa isang Lucky Hart? She would always be the kindest, nicest and sweetest girl he had ever met.

Well, except for his Cassie.

Remembering his Cassie and his hallucinations, his heart ached again. The pain was more palpable this time. Mula nang makita niya si Cassie kanina habang nagra-rounds siya, 'yong sakit na nararamdaman niya ay mas palala nang palala sa paglipas ng mga oras.

Tumayo si Blaze, saka naglakad patungo sa pinto. Akmang lalabas na siya nang mapansin ang paglungkot ng mukha ni Lucky. She was holding back her tears, he noticed.

So Lucky.

He sighed. "They say that brain sometimes suppressed traumatic experience that's why people forget some of the most painful and horrifying memories," sabi niya. "Bakit hindi 'yon ang rason na ibinigay mo sa 'kin?"

That was what he was expecting... her excuses.

"Then it will be an excuse," sagot ni Lucky.

Lihim siyang napangiti. That's my baby girl. "Hmm..."

Binuksan niya ang pinto at lumabas na ng kuwarto ni Blake, saka dumeretso sa cafeteria. Hindi lang siya kulang sa tulog, wala rin siyang tamang kain. He had been so stressed out because of his brother's condition that he had barely eaten.

Kapag talaga ang kapatid niya ang pinag-uusapan, hindi siya mapalagay. He just wanted Blake safe and happy. After everything that he had done for him... after his sacrifices... he deserved it more than anyone. More than him.

Papasok siya sa cafeteria nang may mahagip na naman ang mga mata niya.

His eyes settled on her. The mirage of his beloved and he felt his heart twist in pain. Napahawak siya sa dibdib niya nang maramdamang parang dinudurog ang puso niya at parang may pumipilipit doon sa sobrang sakit.

Marahas niyang ipinilig ang ulo. This hallucination had to stop! He was exhausted!

Bumabalik lahat pati ang pinaghalong sakit at pagmamahal na pilit niyang ibinabaon at ayaw na niyang maramdaman. He buried it deeply, but one look at her hallucination and he was lost. Like before.

Wala sa sariling napasandal si Blaze sa pinakamalapit na pader nang mawala sa paningin niya ang pamilyar na mukha. Nasapo niya ang dibdib kung nasaan ang puso niyang napakalakas at bilis ng tibok.

Cassie... I love you so much, baby.

Bumuga siya ng marahas na hininga at ilang minutong pinakalma ang sarili bago niya nagawang umalis sa pagkakasandal sa pader at tuluyang pumasok sa cafeteria.

Para pa rin siyang wala sa sarili habang bumibili ng tubig at kape. Kahit nang naglalakad siya pabalik sa kuwarto ni Blake, para pa rin siyang nakalutang.

He wanted to see her again, even if it was just a hallucination, but he was exhausted.

I'm tired of missing her but I can't stop. I'm losing my mind. I'm losing my sanity. He couldn't keep doing this to himself. This would affect Blakey! Hindi puwedeng makita nitong nahihirapan siya dahil masaya na ito. He would not be the reason of Blake's pain again.

No!

Humugot muna si Blaze ng malalim na hininga, saka ngumiti nang tipid bago pumasok sa kuwarto ni Blake. Iniabot niya ang isang bottled water kay Lucky na namamaga ang mga mata sa pag-iyak.

"Thank you," mahinang sabi ni Lucky nang tanggapin nito ang bigay niya.

Walang imik na tumango lang siya, saka sumimsim ng kape at umupo sa sofa na naroon sa loob ng kuwarto.

He wanted to talk to Lucky... but he decided not to because—just because. Pero para nang sasabog ang isip at puso niya. Kailangan niya iyong mailabas kung hindi ay mababaliw siya sa kakaisip.

He was tired of arguing... he was also tired being angry and missing someone he couldn't have ever again.

He was tired. So tired. He just wanted this all to end.

When will I be at peace?

Nang maramdaman niyang tumabi ng upo sa kanya si Lucky, pakiramdam niya kahit paano ay gumaan ang pakiramdam niya.

Lucky had always had that effect on him... maybe because she resembled Cassie in a way and only Cassie could calm him. Kahit gaano pa siya kagalit noon, kahit gaano pa siya kalungkot o kapagod, kapag nakikita o kasama niya si Cassie, gumagaan bigla ang pakiramdam niya.

"I'm sorry again..." mahina ang boses na sabi ni Lucky. "Alam kong hindi kapata-patawad ang ginawa ko—"

Walang imik niyang ihinilig ang ulo sa balikat ni Lucky, dahilan para mapatigil ito sa pagsasalita at matigilan.

"I'm tired, baby girl," sabi niya sa pagod na pagod na boses. He couldn't bottle this up. He would go insane. "Pagod na pagod na akong lumaban. Malapit na akong sumuko. Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin para magkaroon ako ng lakas para lumaban pa? Pakiramdam ko walang kuwenta ang buhay ko. After eleven years of missing Cassie, I'm exhausted. I just want this to end."

Lucky faced him and looked at him softly. "Want a hug?"

Alam niyang off limits si Lucky pero kusa na lang na yumakap ang nga braso niya sa baywang nito. Isinubsob niya ang mukha sa likod nito at dere-deretsong nalaglag ang luha niya. Hindi niya iyon napigilan at hindi niya napaghandaan.

He just broke down. His tears just fell as he hugged Lucky. Maybe because he knew Lucky wouldn't judge and Lucky would understand.

"I'm so tired," pag-amin niya. "I'm so exhausted. Pilit kong itinatago at nilalabanan para sa kakambal ko pero hindi ko na kaya. I'm already near my breaking point, baby girl. I'm already close to losing my mind. Help me..."

Hindi na niya alam kung paano maging malakas para labanan 'yong halusinasyon niya. He couldn't keep seeing Cassie like this. She was dead. He couldn't do that to himself, to his family and to Blake. He couldn't lose his sanity!

No!

"I'm exhausted..." he whispered. "I'm tired..."

Kumawala sa yakap niya si Lucky at sinapo ang mukha niya, saka pinatingin siya. "Hey... look at me, Blaze," pakiusap nito. "Did something happen?"

Blaze looked at her hopelessly. "I'm going insane, Lucky. I missed Cassie so much but I never hallucinate." Marahas siyang umiling. Never. I know she's dead. It hurts but I already accepted it. But I saw Cassie earlier while I was doing my rounds. Pero nang kumurap ako, nawala agad siya. It was like she's just a mirage... at nang makita ko siya, bumalik lahat." He was agitated the whole day! "Ang pagmamahal ko, ang pangungulila ko at ang pagluluksa ko."

"And I'm going insane because I saw her again just now. I think I'm going insane, Lucky. I'm seeing her and I'm hallucinating. I can take depression and loneliness but this... this is new to me and it's scaring the fuck out of me. I'm exhausted, baby girl. I can't do this anymore. I'm tired. I can't keep seeing her like this. This is driving me nuts. It's exhausting the hell out of me."

Puno ng pag-aalala ang mukha ni Lucky habang nakatingin sa kanya at hinahaplos ang pisngi niya. And he knew why she was looking at him like that. He knew that he looked like a freak!

"Saan mo siya nakita ngayon?" tanong nito.

"In the cafeteria but when I blinked, she was gone." He snapped his finger. . "Just like that. Gone. It's scaring me. I never hallucinate. Just now. Maybe this is stress, maybe because I haven't slept for days that's why, but it's freaking me out."

Hinawakan ni Lucky ang kamay niya at pinisil na para bang pinapakalma siya. "Magpahinga ka kaya muna. Matulog ka. You need sleep."

Napatingin siya sa kakambal na nakahiga at wala pa ring malay. "But Blake needs me—"

"I'm here," sabi ni Lucky. "Ako na muna ang magbabantay sa kanya."

Nabaling ang tingin niya kay Lucky, saka lihim na napangiti at ginulo ang buhok nito. Lucky was just the same as Blake, she would also do anything for his twin.

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for blaming you, baby girl." Hinawi niya ang hibla ng buhok na tumabing sa mukha nito. "Ang totoo niyan, galit ako, pero nawala na 'yon kanina nang magpaliwanag ka. And thank you for not giving me excuses, just that you are sorry, and I appreciate that."

Gumuhit ang munting ngiti sa mga labi ni Lucky. "You're not mad anymore?"

Umiling siya, saka nginitian ito. "You're family, baby girl. I forgive you."

Lucky's face lit up. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

Tumango si Blaze, saka mariing pinikit ang mga mata nang pumasok na naman sa isip niya si Cassie. "Yeah." Pasimple niyang ipinilig ang ulo. "Well, tulog muna ako. Bantayan mo ang kakambal ko, ha? Ikaw muna ang bahala sa kanya. Huwag mo siyang iwan. Ikakabaliw 'yan ni Blake."

Nag-iwas ito ng tingin. "I, ahm..."

Agad na kumunot ang noo niya sa ginawa ni Lucky. May binabalak itong hindi maganda, nararamdaman niya. "Lucky, you're not planning on leaving my brother, are you?"

Hindi ito makatingin sa kanya. "I just need time for myself, Blaze..."

I knew it! "Don't leave him," agad niyang pigil sa balak nitong gawin. "If you love him, don't leave him. Napatawad ka na niya bago ka pa humingi ng tawad kaya huwag mo siyang iwan." Totoo naman 'yon.

"Pero hindi ko mapatawad ang sarili ko? I feel so lost."

Napabuntong-hininga siya, saka pinakatitigan ang babae "Siguro naman puwede mong hanapin ang sarili mo na kasama ang kakambal ko. Hindi sa nangingialam ako pero ayokong iwan mo siya. Blake will not recover from that... from you. I know I'm asking a lot but please don't leave him. He'll be in pain again."

"I don't know what to do." Lucky sounded hopeless, just like him earlier.

Tumingin siya uli sa kakambal. "Look at him, baby girl. Really look at him, then you decide what to do."

Please don't leave my brother, pipi niyang hiling.

"Kapag umalis ako... masasaktan ko talaga siya?" tanong ni Lucky na nakatingin kay Blake.

"Yes," mabilis niyang sagot.

"Ayoko na siyang saktan."

"Kung ganoon, huwag mo siyang iwan para hindi mo siya masaktan."

Tahimik lang itong nakatitig sa kakambal niya.

Bumuntong-hininga si Blaze, saka tinapik ang balikat ni Lucky. "Doon lang ako sa opisina ni Axel." He really needed to sleep so he would stop hallucinating. "Doon ako matutulog. Pag-isipan mo ang sinabi ko. Call me if you need anything."

Nang tumango si Lucky, nginitian niya ito bago lumabas ng kuwarto ni Blake.

Dumeretso siya sa opisina ni Axel, halos hindi siya tumitingin sa paligid sa takot na baka makita na naman niya si Cassie. Hindi siya puwedeng mabaliw na naman nang ganito. Nalampasan na niya ang parte na 'yon ng buhay niya. Hindi puwede! He just needed sleep. Kapag nakatulog na siya, mawawala na ang mga halusinasyon niya. Mawawala na si Cassie.

As much as he wanted to see her so bad, he knew he couldn't. He knew she was dead. He already accepted that.

"Axel?" tawag niya sa pangalan ng kaibigan nang makapasok sa opisina nito.

Kahit wala ito sa loob, pumasok pa rin siya, saka nahiga sa mahabang sofa. Nang pumikit ang mga mata niya, agad siyang nakatulog. Pero pakiramdam niya, hindi mahaba ang itinulog niya dahil nagising siya sa ingay ni Axel.

Nang tingnan niya ang relong pambisig, napamura siya nang mapansing oras na para sa gamot ni Blake. Bumangon siya at nilampasan lang si Axel na masama ang tingin sa kanya.

"Wow, natulog na nga nang wala man lang paalam, aalis nang wala man lang thank you?" Puno ng sarkasmo ang boses nito. "You're welcome, you fucker!"

Ipinakita lang niya rito ang gitnang daliri, saka lumabas ng opisina nito. Dumeretso siya sa nurse station kung nasaan si Blake.

"How's my twin?" He was combing his hair with his fingers as he asked the nurses on the nurse station in the surgery department. "How's his medication?"

"Heto ho, Doc. Blaze." Agad na iniabot sa kanya ni Nurse Tammy ang chart at gamot ni Blake na agad naman niyang tinanggap at binasa.

"Thanks, Tammy," sabi niya.

Malapad na ngiti lang ang isinagot ng Tammy sa kanya bago bumalik sa ginagawa.

Napabuntong-hininga siya at hinilot ang sentido nang mabasa ang chart ng kakambal. Malalim ang sugat ni Blakey, hindi iyon basta-basta gagaling tulad ng mga sugat nito noon.

"Fuck..." mahina niyang bulong. "Fuck this..."

He was a doctor and he couldn't even do anything for his brother other than to clean his wound and administer his medicines.

Sorry, Blakey. Wala akong silbi ngayon sa 'yo. Pangako, babawi ako.

Panay ang tagis ng mga bagang niya habang hawak ang gamot at naglalakad patungo sa kuwarto ni Blake.

Itinulak niya pabukas ang pinto ng kuwarto nito at pumasok. "Blakey, it's time to take your medicine—" Napatigil siya sa pagsasalita at natulos sa kinatatayuan nang makita ang babaeng yakap si Lucky.

His body went cold. His heart was throbbing fast and loud. He was sweating and he could feel his hand trembling in so many emotions inside his chest.

He knew that back! He knew that hair! He knew that sexy curves! Kahit nakatalikod man ito o malayo, kilala niya ang babaeng nakayakap ngayon kay Lucky!

Was this another hallucination? She seemed so real... real enough to touch. He heard Blakey say something but he was deaf from everything. Buong atensiyon niya ay nakatuon sa babaeng nakatayo di-kalayuan sa kanya.

His eyes were trailing on every inch of her body. Memorizing and recognizing every inch and every curve.

Blaze's lips were trembling... his eyes and lips parted in fear, in shock... in confusion.

She's alive! My baby is alive!

He knew her! How could he forget?! She was his beloved!

"Cassie..."

CECELIB | C.C.