CHAPTER 7

NAKAPIKIT SI HAPPY at nakayakap sa leeg ni Blaze habang iginigiya siya nito pahiga sa kama niya. Ang halikan nila ay palipat-lipat sa masuyo at magiging mapusok naman. Hanggang sa maihiga siya nito at makubabawan, hindi pa rin naghihiwalay ang mga labi nila.

They just kissed each other, enjoying each other's lips and tongue while groaning and slightly moaning.

And Happy was pleased and delighted when Blaze didn't touch her inappropriately. Hinalikan lang siya nito—isang uri ng halik na para bang ayaw na nitong maputol.

Tuwing binibigyan niya ng distansiya ang mga labi nila para huminga, hinahabol nito iyon at sasakupin na naman ang mga labi niya ng halik na minsan ay mapusok at minsan naman ay masuyo.

And Happy didn't stop responding. She continued kissing him back with the same need, heat and ferocity.

Humigpit ang yakap niya sa leeg ni Blaze at napasabunot sa buhok nito nang kagat-kagatin nito ang labi niya at tinutudyo na naman ang dila niya. He would lick, suck and nip her tongue and lips and then he would return to kissing her. Parang walang kapaguran ang lalaki sa paghalik sa kanya na buong-puso naman niyang tinutugon.

And since they started kissing from the kitchen to here, in her room, Blaze finally freed her lips while still on top of her.

And he just looked at her. Titig na titig ito sa kanya kaya nginitian niya ito.

"What is it?" she asked in a whisper.

Blaze kept on staring at her, it was like he was memorizing her appearance and his eyes trailing in every corner of her face. And in that moment, that same question entered her mind. That question that made her doubt Blaze's gestures.

But she had a no-overthinking rule, so she quickly discarded it.

"Blazey—"

He claimed her lips again and moved his lips against hers. His lips owning and teasing hers and his tongue joining to play.

Inalis ni Blaze ang pagkakayakap ng braso niya sa leeg nito at pinagsalikop ang magkabilang kamay nila. Ipininid nito ang kamay niya sa ulunan niya habang papusok nang papusok ang halikan nila.

And when Happy thought that her body would explode in so much heat inside, Blaze broke the kiss and drop three sweet kisses on her lips.

"My hands, please," she whispered, her lips swollen from Blaze kisses.

Blaze just smiled before brushing his lips on hers again. His kisses was sweet and endearing and it was making her smile.

He stopped kissing her again.

"Why are you smiling?" he asked, genuinely curious.

She shrugged. "Nothing... it's just, you know, we're like teenager, just kissing." Slowly, she lost her smile while staring into Blaze's eyes and her face turned serious. "Because we both know we can't go too far."

Pinakawalan ni Blaze ang mga kamay niya, saka bumaba ang kamay nito sa pisngi niya at masuyo iyong hinaplos. "I like kissing you, Hap." He brushed his lips against hers before slowly pulling away. "And I would like for us to go too far, but I remember what you told me about respecting you. Hindi ko gagawin 'yon sa iyo hangga't hindi ikaw ang nasa isip ko."

She actually felt touched. "And kissing me?"

Blaze face softened. "You make me forget... when I'm kissing you."

"Forget what?"

"The pain... the suffocating pain I'd been enduring for the last eleven years." Malungkot itong ngumiti. "Kapag kasama kita, nawawala siya pansamantala. Kaya gusto kitang palaging nakikita."

Happy couldn't help but to say, "Maybe because I remind you of her?"

Umiling ito, saka mapaklang tumawa nang mahina. "Yes, you remind me of her, but everyday that we're together and talking, I get to see how different you are from her. Very different. And I'm sorry if in my head I keep on comparing you to her. Every move you make, everything you say, I can't help it, Happy. I'm trying really hard not to slip and I know it's unfair for you—"

Happy moved to press her lips on Blaze to make him stop talking.

"Happy..."

She pulled away. "Shush... this thing—whatever this is—it's my first time feeling this way and I like it and I don't want to think of what will happen next because it'll just ruin the moment. Gusto ko lang mag-go with the flow. Ayokong mag-isip nang advance kasi I don't want to." Nginitian niya ang lalaki. "You've got issues, alam ko 'yon, but let's just enjoy this moment—whatever this is that na we have. I'm not saying this para we can have a label or something kasi honest to God, I'm not really expecting anything from you."

Titig na titig sa kanya si Blaze. "So this..." He motioned his finger to point at himself and at her, back and forth. "You like this?"

"Like is a strong word, siguro accepted ko lang. At least I know may issues ka. But like I said noong una, don't look at me like ako siya and don't say things na para sa kanya at hindi naman for me because that's the end of the line for me, Blazey. 'Yon ang hindi ko kayang i-tolerate kasi may dad raised me to love and respect myself."

"But—"

"Blazey, I'm not a melodramatic type of person." She caressed his furrowed forehead and straightened it so he would stop frowning. "I'm simple na mag-isip. Hindi ako complicated na person. What you see is 'yon ang makukuha mo sa akin. Kapag I don't want to and I feel insulted, I'll leave and let you know. Sasabihin ko sa iyo directly. I don't believe in tago-taguan ng gusto? Tama ba ang term ko? 'Yong, ahm, like, hiding what I feel. I don't like that. It complicates lahat. Kasi kami ni Dad, we're like that. We're open sa isa't isa. If galit ako, I'll tell him. He raised me like that so kung ano man 'yang gumugulo sa isip mo huwag mong isipin 'yon kasi I will tell you right away if hindi ko like 'yon for me. You'll know."

Blaze was looking at her with stunned expression on his face. "Kakaiba ka talagang mag-isip."

She shrugged. "I like this, kissing you and being with you is masaya. I like to be masaya kasi other people find happiness mahirap to come by. At don't worry, hindi naman kita ibe-blame if masaktan ako kasi ginusto ko naman 'to."

"Then let's be happy," Blaze said with amusement in his eyes.

Natawa na rin siya pero sumeryoso agad. "Anyway, just to be clear with you and your issues, I don't have any thoughts on helping you move on, or something like that, kasi for me, moving on is a self-realization process. 'Yong memories n'yo at ang sarili mo ang kalaban mo sa moving on. At saka kasi kahit ano namang gawin ko, if ayaw mo talagang mag-move on, my effort will be wasted. Get me?"

Blaze nodded before pressing his lips on hers and kissing her softly. And when he pulled away, he whispered, "Yes, I get you, Hap."

Happy nodded with a smile. "Good. Now kiss me and make it pleasurable."

Blaze smiled. "Yes, Ma'am," he said before leaning in and kissing her again.

Just kissing, maybe a little bit of touching, nothing more indecent and inappropriate.

And Happy liked that... she liked that Blaze was not going too far. She preferred it that way too. Just kissing and a little touching. Nothing more and nothing less.

UMAGANG-UMAGA, may ngiti na sa mga labi ni Happy nang mabasa ang text sa kanya ni Blaze. Hindi ito natulog sa kuwarto niya kagabi tulad ng pareho nilang gusto dahil nalaman niyang hindi naman pala ito off duty, on call pala ito.

Blaze left after midnight because the hospital called, there was an emergency. And of course, when duty called, he had to go. It was Blaze's job to save lives.

From: Big Baby

Good morning, Hap. Gising ka na? Call me when you read this.

Umayos siya ng higa at tinawagan ito habang naghihikab.

"Morning," she chirped when Blaze answered.

"Hap." He sounded delighted to hear from her. "May gagawin ka ba ngayong araw?"

"Wala naman," sagot niya. "Bakit? Where ka?"

"Driving home," sabi nito. "Maliligo lang ako, 'tapos sunduin kita. Let's go somewhere fun."

That was actually a lovely idea but something came into her mind. "'Di ba nasa ospital ka the whole night?"

"Yes."

"Kung ganoon you haven't had a decent tulog yet."

"Ahm..." Natahimik ito na para bang nag-iisip. "Natulog naman ako sa opisina ni Axel kaninang madaling araw."

"Hindi ako naniniwala," sabi niya. "Ilang oras ang tulog mo?"

"Forty-minutes or so."

Napaawang ang mga labi niya. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I was called again. Ang dami kasing pasyente, eh. But, Hap, I'm okay—"

"No," may diin niyang sabi. "You take a bath then tulog ka. You're already pagod, 'tapos walang tulog pa? No. Rest."

"But, Hap—"

"Seryoso ako," sabi niya sa may pinalidad na boses. "Pahinga ka. You need it. Kapag tapos ka nang mag-rest, then maybe we can go out and do something na masaya, okay?"

Blaze blew a loud breath after yawning. "Fine. Call you later?"

"Sige. Rest ka na."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Mahina siyang natawa, saka pinatay ang tawag at bumangon na. Naligo siya at nagbihis bago lumabas ng kuwarto. Nakita niya ang amang sumisimsim ng kape habang nanonood ng TV.

Agad niyang nilapitan ang daddy niya at hinalikan ito sa pisngi. "Morning, Dad. How was your sleep?"

"Worried," he grumbled while frowning deeply.

Kinunutan niya ng noo ang ama. "Bakit?"

Her father sighed before facing her. "Princess, you know that I love to see you date, but do you really have to bring him to your room?"

Napalitan ng ngiti ang pagkakakunot ng noo niya. "We didn't do the nasty, Dad."

Her father sighed heavily. "I'm not worried about that matter, princess. Nasa tamang edad ka na para sa bagay na 'yon. What I want is for you not to get hurt. Just protect yourself, okay? Blaze is a good man and I like him for you but protection is a must."

Natawa siya dahil nakikita niya ang pagkailang sa mukha ng ama. "Yes, Dad. I'll keep that in mind."

"Good." Bumalik ito sa pagsimsim ng kape, saka itinuon ang tingin sa TV.

Nangingiting napailing si Happy, saka tinungo ang kusina para magkape. Pagkatapos ay pumasok uli siya sa kuwarto niya habang dala-dala ang tasa na may lamang mainit na kape.

Inilapag niya ang tasa sa bedside table nang tumunog ang cell phone niya.

A text message.

From: Little Sis

Ate, I'm still not allowed to drive 😓. Can you please accompany me tomorrow to check the food for my wedding?

Agad niyang tinawagan si Lucky.

"Hey, lil' sis," bati niya rito nang sagutin ang tawag niya. "Nabasa ko ang text mo. What time bukas?"

"Maybe after lunch?" Lucky replied.

"Sure," agad niyang pagpayag.

"Thanks!" Lucky chirped. "By the way, Ate, busy ka ba ngayon?"

"Bakit?" Sumimsim siya ng kape. "May kailangan ka from me?"

"Kasi sumama ako kay Blaze pauwi kanina kasi kumuha ako ng bagong damit ni Blakey-baby ko. Dapat si Mommy ang maghahatid sa akin pabalik sana sa ospital pero ihinatid ni Mommy si Bailey sa school. At katatawag lang niya sa akin kanina na baka late siyang makabalik kasi may parent's meeting daw." Bailey was Blake and Blaze's half brother. "Eh, nag-text na sa akin si Blake na gusto na niya akong bumalik kasi nababagot siya na walang kasama."

Napangiti siya sa huling sinabi ng kapatid. "And?"

"And I can't drive and taking the cab from the house is impossible because it's a little bit far away from the main road." Nai-imagine na niya ang paghaba ng nguso ni Lucky. "Nandito nga ang sasakyan ni Blaze pero hindi pa ako puwedeng mag-drive, walang go signal from Doctor Axel, 'tapos si Blaze naman tulog. Ayoko namang istorbuhin."

Parang alam na niya ang patutunguhan nang usapan nila.

"Sige, ipapasundo kita riyan sa driver ko," sabi niya sa kapatid. "Ibinigay ko sa iyo ang phone number niya. Kayo na lang mag-usap tungkol address kung saan ka susunduin."

"Yey! Salamat, Ate."

Natatawang nagpaalam siya sa kapatid, saka isinend dito ang numero ng driver niya. Tinawagan din niya ang driver para sabihing sunduin si Lucky at ihatid sa ospital, pagkatapos ay tinapos niya ang pag-inom ng kape.

At dahil wala naman siyang gagawin, lumabas siya para bumili ng mga ingredients para sa gusto niyang lutuin mamayang tanghalian.

Pagkabalik niya galing crocery, agad siyang nagluto. Siyempre, may ginagaya siyang recipe at nanonood siya sa video kung paano ang tamang pagluluto niyon dahil bago sa kanya iyon.

It was another Filipino dish. She even prepared rice to compliment the sinigang baboy.

Thankfully, her dad enjoyed it.

Habang kumakain ang ama, kinuha ni Happy ang cell phone sa bag para sana i-text si Blaze pero naunahan na siya nito.

From: Big baby

Gising na ako. Let's go out?

Napailing siya, saka ibinalik ang cell phone sa bag na hindi nagre-reply rito. Kumuha siya ng paper bag sa kuwarto niya at doon inilagay ang nilutong sinigang na baboy na nasa Tupperware.

"Dad, I'm going now," paalam niya sa ama.

"Take care, princess." Kumakain pa rin kasi ito.

"Thanks, Dad."

Lumabas na siya ng kuwarto at bumaba, saka tinawagan ang driver niya na kababalik pa lang galing sa paghatid kay Lucky.

Siya naman ang nagpahatid sa bahay ni Blaze. At nang makarating doon ay pinabalik niya ang driver sa hotel. Hindi kasi niya alam kung anong oras siya makakabalik at ayaw niya itong paghintayin.

Naglakad siya palapit sa pinto at handa nang kumatok nang makitang bahagya iyong nakaawang. Naririnig niya ang malakas na tunog na nanggagaling sa sala.

Maingat niyang itinulak pabukas ang pinto, saka pumasok at sumilip sa sala kung saan nanggagaling ang ingay.

It was a movie. Blaze was watching a horror film again. And this time, he didn't look scared like when they watched The Nun together. He looked calm while watching.

Oh, ma bitch. He was just pretending to be scared so he can be a big baby.

At sa lakas ng tunog ng pinapanood nitong pelikula, napakaimposible na marinig siya nitong naglalakad palapit.

Pero mali siya, dahil nang mag-umpisa siyang maglakad, agad na lumingon si Blaze at nagtama ang mga mata nila. She saw how his face lit up when he saw her.

"Hap!" Agad nitong pinatay ang TV, saka tumayo at sinalubong siya ng yakap. "I was waiting for your reply. Akala ko hindi ka pupunta."

Ipinakita niya rito ang paper bag na dala. "Sinigang na baboy. And yes..." She smiled. "I cooked it."

"Hell, yeah!" masayang sigaw ni Blaze, saka kinuha ang paper bag sa kanya at nagmamadaling pumunta sa kusina.

Sinundan naman niya ang lalaki at himilig siya sa hamba ng pinto ng kusina habang pinagmamasdan itong excited na naghahain sa mesa.

"Come on, let's eat," aya nito sa kanya nang makaupo sa hapagkainan.

Nilapitan naman niya ito at pinagsaluhan nila ang niluto niya. Natutuwa siya dahil maganang-magana si Blaze habang kumakain.

"Sleep ka again pagkatapos nating mag-eat, ha?" sabi niya.

Agad na hindi sumang-ayon si Blaze. "No. Lalabas tayo. We'll do something fun—"

"No. You're going to tulog—I mean, sleep. Matulog ka," sabi niya, saka ikinuha ito ng tubig at pinagsalin ng fresh juice sa isa pang baso. "Look..." Hinaplos niya ang ibaba ng mata nito dahil nakatayo siya malapit dito. "You have bags under your eyes. I don't like it."

Uminom muna ng juice si Blaze, saka nag-angat ng tingin sa kanya habang hawak ang kamay niya. Iginiya nito iyon pahaplos sa pisngi nito. "Stay?"

She frowned. "While you sleep?"

Tumango ito. "Please?"

Happy took a deep breath. "Puwede naman.

Blaze smiled. "Thanks."

Tumango at hinaplos niya ang buhok ni Blaze bago bumalik sa kinauupuan at tinapos ang pagkain. Pagkatapos ay magkatulong nilang niligpit ang kinainan.

Kapagkuwan ay tumambay sila sa sala kung saan ipinagpatuloy nila ang pinapanood na pelikula ni Blaze kanina nang dumating siya.

At nang may naalala, malakas niyang sinuntok ang tiyan ni Blaze at hindi siya nahirapang ulitin 'yon dahil magkatabi sila sa mahabang sofa.

"Ouch!" Ang sama ng tingin sa kanya ni Blaze. "What was that for?"

"You're gago." Sinalubong niya ng masama ring tingin ang tingin nito. "You're not scared pala but nagpanggap ka that you are so you can be a big baby. That wasn't nice!"

Tumawa lang si Blaze, saka nahiga sa sofa at ginawang unan ang hita niya. "Make me sleep," ungot nito habang nakapikit ang mga mata.

Happy pinched Blaze's nose.

"Ouch! Fuck!" Blaze opened his eyes and glared at her. "Ano na naman ang ginawa kong mali?"

"You lied about being matatakutin." Tinaasan niya ito ng kilay.

"You already punched me for that!"

"So?" Namaywang siya. "Bakit you're raising your boses?"

Ang galit na mukha ni Blaze ay napalitan ng tawa. Sinapo nito ang mukha niya ang pinanggigilan 'yon. At nang hindi pa nakontento, bumangon ito para pugpugin ng halik ang buong mukha at mga labi niya.

"Blaze! Stop it!" Mapupugto ang hininga niya dahil sa pagpugpog nito ng halik sa buong mukha niya at mga labi. "Blazey! Blazey! Stop!"

But Blaze wouldn't listen. "I'm sorry, baby, but you're just so adorable. This is your fault." Pilit pa rin nitong hinahalikan ang mukha niya kahit panay ang iwas niya at tulak dito palayo. "Kapag galit ako at nag-uusap tayo nang pagalit, huwag kang conyo. 'Yon tuloy, nagiging marupok ako."

"Blazey! Stop it!"

Panay na ang suntok niya kay Blaze sa braso at sa likod at nang ayaw talaga nitong lumayo sa kanya ay sinipa niya ito.

When Blaze fell on the floor, she thought he'd be angry but he stood up and the continued assaulting her face and lips with his kisses.

"Blazey! Stop it!"

Dahil sa inis, malakas niyang sinuntok si Blaze. Umalis siya sa pagkakaupo sa sofa at ikinuyom ang kamay sa harap ng dibdib niya.

Blaze chuckled at her on guard position. "You sure about that?"

Tiningnan niya ito nang masama. "Ayaw mong mag-stop so I will beat you up na lang para mag-stop ka na."

"Okay." Blaze taunted her by raising his fingers and motioning her to attack him.

Naningkit ang mga mata ni Happy bago ito inatake ng sunod-sunod na sipa at suntok pero lahat iyon ay nasalag nito na ikinagulat niya. Kahit nang umikot siya at nagpakawala ng biglang sipa ay nasalag nito.

She was wrong, Blaze was not naïve in combat.

When Blaze returned the punches, she realized that he was an expert in hand-to-hand combat. Masyadong mabilis ang kamao nito at halos hindi niya iyon makita.

Panay ang atras niya habang sunod-sunod ang pag-atake ng kamao ni Blaze sa kanya, lahat iyon ay naiiwasan at nasasalag niya pero nararamdaman niyang parang hindi pa iyon ang buong lakas ni Blaze.

And because she hated backing away, she used her feet to jump on the sofa to give her a boost before pushing herself up to give him a strong blow on his neck using her elbow.

Pero madaling nakita ni Blaze ang atake niya at nasalag nito ang siko niya. Hinawakan siya nito sa magkabilang pupulsuhan at pinaikot siya paharap habang ang kamay nito ay nasa likuran niya at pinipigilan iyon na makawala at maatake ito.

And because he was holding her hand behind her while he was in front of her, their bodies were touching and his face was so close to her.

"Sorry, Hap," sabi ni Blaze, saka kinindatan siya, "I won't let you beat me up this time."

Bago pa siya makasagot, sinakop na ng mga labi nito ang mga labi niya at ipinasok ang dila sa loob ng bibig niya.

Mahinang napadaing na lang si Happy sa ginawang paghalik sa kanya ni Blaze nang mapusok. At hindi ito tumigil sa paghalik sa kanya habang hindi nila habol ang sariling hininga.

"I told you to sleep," she said while catching her own breath.

Blaze just smiled and kissed her again. This time, his hand let go of her wrist and he cupped her face softly while he kissed her senseless.

Pinakawalan lang nito ang mga labi niya ng ilang segundo, saka hinalikan na naman siya na para bang ayaw na naghihiwalay ang mga labi nilang dalawa.

And because she liked kissing Blaze, she responded with the same need and heat. Yumakap na rin ang mga braso niya sa leeg nito at lumaban ng halikan.

Lip to lip, tongue to tongue and mouth to mouth. They explored each other's mouth like there was a treasure hiding inside.

Moans escaped their lips until they slowly pulled away from each other. At nang maghiwalay ang mga labi nila, pinakatitigan siya nang matiim ni Blaze.

"I don't want to sleep," he said. "I want to kiss you."

"You just did. Now sleep."

Umiling ito. "No. More kisses please?"

"Sleep."

Blaze didn't argue with her, but he moved to encircle his arms around her waist and pulled her closer into a tight but soft embrace making her heart beat fast.

"Hap?"

Happy was still in dazed by his sweet and soft embrace. "H-hmm?"

"Thank you."

"For?"

"For being here."

Natigilan siya at kumawala sa yakap ni Blaze nang marinig ang sinabi nito. Pinakatitigan niya ang lalaki habang nagre-replay sa isip niya ang emosyon sa boses nito nang sabihin nito ang mga salitang iyon.

And when her eyes held his, there was longing in them. That emotion, she knew it wasn't for her.

Ikinuyom niya ang kamay at malakas itong sinuntok sa tiyan.

Napaigik at napangiwi si Blaze sa ginawa niya. "Fuck!" He glared at her. "What was that for?"

"Those words, your feelings earlier weren't for me. At hindi ba sinabi ko na sa iyo na I will punch you if this happens?"

Natahimik si Blaze at nag-iwas ng tingin sa kanya. "Sorry."

Huminga siya nang malalim, saka tinawagan ang driver niya para magpasundo.

"Don't go," pigil sa kanya ni Blaze.

"I have to," sagot niya. "Hearing you say those words that weren't for me makes me uncomfortable around you. I'm sorry. Pahinga ka na lang."

"Hap—"

"I feel like you disrespected me, so I want to leave. But I'm not mad just to be clear. I understand," sabi niya na ipinapaintindi kay Blaze kung bakit siya aalis. "So, ahm, see yah?"

Pagkasabi niyon ay dala ang cell phone at clutch bag na lumabas siya ng bahay ni Blaze at walang lingon-likod na naglakad palabas ng gate.

Hindi na niya hinintay ang driver niya na makarating, tinawagan na lang niya ito sa salubungin niya sa daan. Hindi niya kasi kayang magtagal doon sa loob ng bahay at nakikita niya si Blaze. Naaalala niya ang sinabi nito at ang emosyon nito na hindi naman para sa kanya.

She could still remember how he sounded earlier when he thanked her for being there.

And the look in his eyes.

She felt insulted and disrespected. She felt used for some reason. And it's all on me. And in our situation, there's no one to blame but me.

CECELIB | C.C.