CHAPTER 60

HINDI NGUMITI SI HAPPY nang makita ang ama habang nakaupo siya sa kama kahit malapad pa itong nakangiti sa kanya habang papasok sa kuwarto niya.

He lied to her, but she was not mad. She just wanted an explanation. Explanation na hindi puro kasinungalingan.

Nang magisnan niya si Mommy Henreitta, ang ama agad niya ang hinanap niya. Hindi sila nakapag-usap kanina dahil ayaw siyang iwan ng asawa niya, pero ngayon, kailangan na talaga niya ang paliwanag ng ama sa dami ng tanong sa isip niya.

"Princess..." Habang naglalakad ang ama niya palapit sa kanya, unti-unti namang nawawala ang ngiti sa mga labi nito nang makitang walang ngiti sa mga labi niya. "You're mad at your old man?"

Hindi siya umimik.

Bumuntong-hininga ang ama niya, saka umupo ito sa gilid ng kamang kinauupuan niya. Hinawakan nito ang kamay niya at hinaplos ang mga daliri niya. "Talk to me, Princess," sabi nito sa mahinang boses na nakikiusap. "Princess..."

Tumingin siya sa mga mata nito. "Why?" simple niyang tanong. Straight to the point. "No lies this time, Dad. Please? I'm getting tired of it. Just tell me everything and I'll try my best to understand."

Her dad took a deep breath before answering her. "Your mother, she passed away a couple of years back. Remember when I left for a week and told you I was gambling the whole week in Vegas?"

Tumango siya.

"I was with her. Sunshine... that's your mother's name. Inayos ko ang libing niya." Lumungkot ang mukha ng ama niya. "I owe her that. Pakiramdam ko kasi kasalanan ko ang nangyari sa kanya— hindi, kasalanan ko talaga. Nadamay siya sa gulo ng buhay ko."

Nakaramdam si Happy ng kaba at takot sa mga sinasabi ng ama niya. "Please, don't tell me that she got hurt because of us?"

"It's because of me, princess." Her dad looked down. "Your mother and I, she was the first woman I cared about. I asked her to marry me, but she declined my proposal."

She frowned. "Why?"

"She was married to someone else and didn't tell me." He sighed heavily. "Gago ako pero hindi ako ganoong klaseng gago. Nang malaman ko na may asawa na siya, nakipaghiwalay ako. I'm a bastard and a jerk but I know my limits. My mother raised me to respect marriage. She was more than willing to broke up with me as well because her husband found out and she choose him over me... so, yeah."

Happy could see sadness in her father's eyes. "She broke your heart..." she observed.

Mapaklang tumawa ang ama niya. "She did, but, that's life, so, I moved on and I met Helena. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pinakasalan ko agad siya. Maybe because I was still frustrated, angry even... I don't know. But I was a good husband, princess. I never cheated on Helena. Never. Kahit nang bumalik si Sunshine sa buhay ko at ipinakilala ka niya sa akin, hindi ako nagloko. Kahit sinabi niya sa akin na hiniwalayan niya ang asawa niya at mahal pa rin niya ako, umiwas ako. I told her that I'm married and the only thing I can offer her is to care for our daughter—you—and love her as much as I could."

Nanubig ang mga mata niya. "Daddy..."

Masuyo nitong hinalikan ang likod ng kamay niya, saka pinakatitigan siya. "Don't be mad at your mom for giving you to me. She was broken because of the divorce. She was crying when she gave you up, begging me to take care of you. I offered financial support but she declined and said that she'll manage. Pinapangako niya ako na alagaan at mahalin kita nang sobra-sobra habang wala siya. Sabi niya babawi siya."

"And you fulfilled that promise to her," sabi niya nang pabulong.

"I'd like to think so." Masuyo siyang nginitian ng ama niya. "I love you so much, princess. I can't imagine my life without you in it."

A lone tear escaped her eyes. She could feel her father's love for her. It was overflowing. "Thank you for loving me so much, Daddy."

"Of course." Hinaplos nito ang gilid ng pisngi niya. "You're my princess. Wala akong hindi kayang gawin para sa mga anak ko."

Happy smiled tenderly at her father. "Thank you, Daddy..." Then her face became somber as she asked. "But what happened to Mom after she left me with you? Binalikan ba niya ako?"

Umiling ang ama. "Hindi na siya bumalik. Helena told me that if I want her to accept you in our life, I should cut my contact with your mother, so I did. Helena was jealous and I know how unfair our situation was for her, so I obliged. Ikaw ang pinili ko at pinutol ko ang komunikasyon ko kay Sunshine kasi gusto kitang bigyan ng masayang pamilya. Nawalan ako ng balita sa mommy mo, pero nasisiguro kong madali niya akong mahahanap dahil hindi naman kami lumipat ng bahay. Taon ang lumipas, hanggang sa nalaman ko ang tunay na pagkatao ni Helena at nabunyag ang lahat ng ginawa niya. She was angry at you... at your mom for ruining her plan."

Happy's voice was laced with fear as she asked. "W-what happened to my m-mom? M-may ginawa ba siya sa mommy ko?"

"'Yong nangyari sa mommy ni Lucky, ganoon din ang nangyari sa mommy mo. Nauna lang si Sunshine dahil sa kagagawan ni Helena. Nalaman kong siya ang nag-utos na gawin 'yon sa mommy mo dahil sa sobrang galit niya." Her dad looked so broken. "It was my fault, princess. I should have stopped Helena sooner. Fuck. I still carry the guilt of what happened. It was all on me. It still keeps me awake at night. So much guilt and regret."

Nakaawang ang mga labi niya kasabay ng pagdaloy ng luha sa mga mata niya. "S-she was v-violated? M-my mom?"

Her dad nodded gravely. "She was in a worst state before she died." Tumiim ang mga bagang nito. "Kaya ayokong sabihin sa iyo, baka hindi mo kayanin ang nangyari sa kanya kapag nakita mo siya at sisihin mo ang sarili ko sa mga nangyari. I know you, princess, I know you will blame yourself because you'll think that this all happened because she gave birth to you. She lost her mind, princess. When I found her again, she was already in the asylum.

"I pulled some strings and transferred her to a facility that could help her but nothing. She keeps getting worst and worst. I wanted to take care of her as well but I was also taking care of you. You were in coma back then and I have to focus my attention to you because of the Triad and Helena. And then a few years ago, she took her own life in the facility. Ako ang umayos sa lahat kahit alam kong huli na. Your mother was an amazing woman, for her to experience that kind of cruelty, it must had been too much for her. She was alone and scared and I wasn't there for her. She suffered so much for being with me—"

"And for giving birth to me," Happy whispered.

"Princess—"

"She suffered because she gave birth to me," bulong niya habang himihikbi. "Nangyari sa kanya ang mga 'yon dahil sa akin. Because I'm your first born and Helena can't take it. If not for me, then my mom would have been happy now—"

"She was happy to have you, princess." Tinuyo nito ang luha sa gilid ng mga mata niya. "You weren't a mistake for her. Hindi mo kasalanan ang nangyari. Partly, it was my fault, but this is all Helena's doing. Everything. Nang unang tumawag si Helena sa iyo, natakot ako. Sigurado akong sasaktan ka niya pero alam ko ring kailangan ka niya."

Happy bit her lower lip. "Kung ganoon bakit mo ako pinaniwala na siya ang ina ko?"

"Because I'm a jerk and I can't make myself to tell you the truth," pag-amin ng ama niya. "Natakot ako na baka masaktan ka kapag nalaman mo ang katotohanan at sisihin mo ang sarili mo. Masyado kitang mahal na mahal para makitang nahihirapan ka. I promise your mother that I'll make you happy in any way I can, whatever it takes, and I keep my promises, princess."

Naiintindihan niya ang ama dahil ramdam niya ngayon ang sakit ng nangyari sa mommy niya. Kung nalaman niya siguro ito nang mas maaga, hindi siya mapapanatag hangga't hindi napapatay si Helena.

Ngayon nagsisisi na siyang pinatay niya agad si Helena.

Death was too easy for her. She should have tortured her until she begged for death! Pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa nito sa pamilya niya, kulang pa 'yon!

But knowing that Helena was dead also gave her comfort. Hindi man ito nahirapan, ang importante wala na ito at hindi na makakapaghasik pa ng kasamaan.

"Princess..." Inilabas ng ama niya ang wallet nito mula sa bulsa, saka may inilabas doong larawan. "I save this for you." Inilagay nito ang isang larawan sa mga palad niya. "It's your mom."

Sa halip na tingnan ang larawan, niyakap muna niya iyon sa dibdib habang mahinang umiiyak sa sinapit ng kanyang ina. Just imagining it made her heart tighten in so much pain. Her mother suffered because of her—because of Helena and the Triad.

I promise, Mommy, I will avenge what happened to you. Hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi ko nauubos ang Triad na nanakit sa iyo.

"Igaganti kita, Mommy," bulong niya habang umiiyak at humihikbi. "Pangako, Mommy, igaganti kita. Papatayin ko silang lahat. Igaganti kita."

"Princess..."

Patuloy lang ang paghikbi ni Happy habang yakap ang larawan ng ina.

Mommy... I'm so sorry, Mommy. I wish I could be there with you to care for you when you needed it the most. I'm so sorry, Mom. I'm so sorry for not knowing.

"I'm so sorry, Mommy... so sorry... I'm so sorry." Happy was sobbing as she said sorry to her mother. "Please forgive me, Mommy, I'm so sorry."

Niyakap siya ng ama, saka hinalikan ang noo. "It wasn't your fault, princess. It was mine. The guilt should only be mine alone. Kasalanan ko 'to, hindi mo 'to kasalanan. Don't carry this on your shoulders. Please, princess. Your Mom will not like it."

Yumakap siya sa ama habang umiiyak dahil sa pinaghalong galit, awa at guilt na nararamdaman dahil sa nangyari sa kanyang ina.

In that moment, Happy promised to never stop fighting until the very last Triad member was dead and gone. She would kill them all. Every single one of those monsters who treated people like toys and garbage.

Panay ang tiim ng mga bagang niya habang umiiyak siya.

Yakap lang siya ng ama hanggang sa unti-unti siyang tumahan habang hawak pa rin ang larawan ng kanyang ina.

"Please tell me more about her," she begged her father after she pulled away from their embrace.

"Princess..." Halatang hindi sang-ayon ang ama niya sa hiling niya. "Don't torture yourself—"

"I want to know her through you."

"Very well..." Her father smiled even when his eyes were sad. "She was as radiant as her name. She was an amazing woman. Mahilig siyang tumulong sa mga nangangailangan kaya nagkakilala kami. She has the gentlest soul I've ever had a pleasure of meeting."

"W-was she still like that after what happened?"

Umiling ang ama niya. "Sunshine changed. She became violent and it's understandable." Napailing ito. "The Sunshine I knew was gone when I found and saw her again. I heard from the asylum that she was sent there because she nearly murdered her child."

Happy stilled. "Her child? M-may kapatid ako sa kanya?"

Tumango ang ama niya. "Nagbunga ang panggagahasa sa kanya. I tracked down the child but someone already got him before I did and erased all the child's files. I assumed that whoever got the child gave the child a new identity. Maybe the father or someone took the child, I'm not sure. I'm still looking into it now but it's a long shot, princess. Hindi ko pa rin mahanap 'yong bata."

Bumaba ang tingin niya sa larawan ng ina, saka hinaplos 'yon.

Mom...

Her mother was beautiful with a radiant smile and the same hair as hers. They way she smiled and the shape of her face reminded her of someone else.

"My mom was pretty," komento niya.

"She was," sang-ayon ng ama niya.

Nginitian niya ito. "Thank you for this, Dad. I appreciate it."

Tumango ang ama niya, saka hinaplos ang pisngi niya. "Sana hindi ka na galit sa akin. I already explain my side and I would understand if my reasoning wasn't enough for you or if you couldn't understand why I lied to you. Tanggap ko 'yon at naiintindihan ko. Magkaiba tayo ng paniniwala at pag-iisip kaya ganoon. Pero sana, sa mga nalaman mo, huwag mong sisihin ang sarili mo. Biktima ka lang din dito. Hayaan mo nang ako ang umako sa lahat ng kasalanan at guilt. Sa akin na lang 'yon, okay, princess? I want you to be happy and stay the way you are now. Daddy is always proud of you."

Naluluha na namang tumango siya. "I wouldn't lie and say that I understand your reasoning why you lied to me, but I do know one thing and I'm sure of it. You love me. At gagawin mo ang lahat para sa akin... para sa amin nina Lucky at Clev. And yes, you're not perfect, you're a liar with so much flaws, but I don't care. I love you, and I'm proud to call you my dad."

A tear actually fell from her father's eyes as he looked at her tenderly. "Akala ko kamumuhian mo ako dahil sa pagsisinungaling ko sa iyo. I'm really sorry, princess, that your father is the biggest jerk in this planet."

Happy smiled at her dad. "The biggest jerk in this planet loves me and Lucky and Clev with all his heart. And that, that means so much to me."

Her father kissed her forehead softly before encircling his arms around her body and hugging her tightly but carefully because of her bruises.

"I love you, princess," sabi ng kanyang ama.

"I love you too, Daddy," sagot niya.

Ilang segundo pa siyang niyakap ng ama bago siya pinakawalan at hinawi ang ilang hibla ng buhok na nakatabing sa noo niya, saka nginitian. "Princess, from now on, I promise not to lie to you." Itinaas pa nito ang isang kamay na parang nanunumpa. "That I swear."

"Talaga?" may pagdududa pero pabiro niyang tanong.

"Yes."

"Then answer me," sabi niya na pinakatitigan ang ama. "This has been bothering me for a while now but I was busy, so I forgot... Sabi ni Blaze, base raw sa sugat na natamo ko noong nabaril ako, imposible raw na ma-comatose ako uli. Lalo na ng isang linggo. What really happened back then, Dad?"

Napangiwi ang ama niya. "Ahm, can we skip that part?"

Tiningnan niya ito nang masama. "Look at my face and tell me if I want to skip that part."

Malakas na bumuntong-hininga ang ama niya. "I, ahm, it was actually a medically induced coma because I wanted to delete Midnight's file and it took me three days because of so many securities and viruses. And then the remaining days was for your wound to heal. Kapag gising ka kasi, alam kong masasaktan ka dahil sa sugat mo. I hate seeing you hurt."

Napailing siya. "The Oscar goes to you, Daddy," puno ng sarkasmo niyang sabi.

"I know, right?" May pagmamalaki pa talaga ang boses nito. "I was so awesome and..." He stopped when he saw her glaring at him. "I'm sorry I lied to you, princess. I will not do it again."

Napailing na lang si Happy. "I really love you, Daddy, but sometimes, I just want to smack you in the head."

Her father gave her a cheeky smile. "I love you too, princess." Hinalikan siya nito sa noo. "Anyway, I shall go back to the dining area now because we were having a drinking session with your team."

"Si Blaze kasama sa drinking session?" tanong niya.

Tumango ang ama, saka umalis ng kama. "Gusto mo papuntahin ko rito?"

Umiling siya. "No, it's okay. He deserves to rest and have fun. Okay lang naman ako. Medyo nananakit lang ang katawan but I'll live. Though, can I speak to Kane? I wanna see if okay na ang sugat niya sa kamay. Kasama n'yo ba siyang umiinom? Can I steal him for a moment?"

Nauwi sa ngiwi ang ngiti ng ama. "Ahm... Kane is, ahm, Kane is not available at the moment."

Kumunot ang noo niya. "Nalasing siya?"

Her father nodded. "One shot."

Lalong lumalim ang gatla sa noo niya. "But Kane can drink a couple bottles of beers and he hasn't passed out..." Napatigil siya sa pagsasalita nang makita ang mukha ng ama. "Dad." May pagdududang tinitigan niya ito. "What did you do? Anong klaseng alak ang ininom n'yo at pinainom n'yo sa panganay ko at nawalan siya ng malay?"

Hindi makatingin sa kanya ang ama. "It's ahm, you know, it's a guy thing, princess—"

"Dad." May diin ang boses niya.

Napakamot ito sa batok, saka humarap sa kanya, "Blaze mixed a drink. Toxic. And Kane was the first victim."

Tumalim ang mga mata niya. "Ano'ng ginawa n'yo sa panganay ko?"

Her father was silent. Head down.

Malakas na napabuntong-hininga si Happy. "I want to talk to Kane, Dad," sabi niya sa ama na tahimik pa rin. "Or si Blaze ang papuntahin mo rito. Alam n'yo namang parang bata 'yang si Kane sa ibang bagay, bakit n'yo pinainom? Hindi 'yan katulad n'yo na malalakas ang bituka sa inuman. Kane is only deadly in the battlefield. Dapat naisip n'yo 'yon bago niyo pinainom ng alak na sobrang toxic."

"It's Ruthgar's fault," sabi ng ama niya, saka tumalilis ng alis. "I'll go get Kane!" pahabol nitong sabi bago lumabas ng kuwarto.

Napailing na lang si Happy at sumama ang mukha.

Blaze was with Kane. Hindi man lang ba nito naisip na walang kamuwang-muwang si Kane sa mga sobrang malalakas na inumin? 'Tapos may sugat pa si Kane. Paano gagana ang gamot dito kung may alak sa sistema nito?

Napabuga siya ng marahas na hininga, saka bumaba ang tingin sa larawan ng inang hawak pa rin niya.

Instantly, her face softened.

"Hey, Mom..." sabi niya sa mahinang boses. "It's nice meeting you even though it's already too late for both of us. Promise ko sa iyo, igaganti kita. Hindi ako titigil. I wish I can remember you, but I can't. Pero may picture na ako ngayon sa iyo at palagi kitang titingnan para maukit sa isip ko ang mukha mo at hindi kita makalimutan. I owe you so much, Mommy. Thank you for giving birth to me. Thank you for giving me an amazing father, he's not perfect but he's the greatest."

Mabilis na tinuyo niya ang luha sa pisngi nang may kumatok sa pinto ng kuwarto. Pumasok doon si Kane na medyo gumigiwang pa habang naglalakad.

Nag-aalalang tinitigan niya ito pagkatapos niyang itabi ang larawang hawak. "What happened to you?"

"I had a very toxic drink, Mom," sabi nito habang naglalakad palapit sa kanya.

Happy sighed before tapping the space on the bed beside hers. "Come here, let me see your wound."

Lumapit naman sa kanya si Kane at pabagsak na umupo sa gilid ng kama, paharap sa kanya, saka ipinakita ang mga kamay nitong may benda na.

"Sino'ng gumamot sa sugat mo?" tanong niya.

Pero walang sagot mula kay Kane kaya tiningnan niya ito at nahuling titig na titig sa larawang itinabi niya sa bedside table—ang larawan ng mommy niya.

"W-why do you have her picture?" tanong ni Kane.

His question didn't make her frown, his tone did. It was a mixture of shock and fear and the look in his mismatched eyes, it confused her.

"Why?" tanong niya. "Do you know her?"

'Yon lang ang naisip niyang dahilan para ganoon ang maging emosyon sa mukha nito.

Kane nodded, making her heart pound.

"Really? You do?" Eagerness was on her voice. "Tell me, saan mo siya nakita? Paano mo siya nakilala? Nakausap mo ba siya kahit minsan lang—"

"She's my mom," Kane whispered before glancing at her. "Mom."

CECELIB | C.C.